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  • Me and my friends watched Borderlands a few days ago to make fun of it and I think it's one of the biggest actually bad movies I've seen, ever. So many choices made were just bad, and made for not even an entertainingly bad experience, it was just bad, poorly written and established, poorly framed and shot it was wild.

    • As someone who played the games tho, their props, costumes and set design were dead on. It's a crime they made a movie that bad with all the attention to detail focused on everything besides the script and casting.

  • Passengers really pissed me off, it takes some real skill to take such a good premise and turn it into whatever the fuck that movie was. Mario movie didn't make me hate

    as an actor, it was obvious slop. Passengers did because the premise baited me into watching slop when I was expecting existential horror.

    E: I would say it made me hate Lawrence as an actress too, but she actually expressed regret for starring in it at least.

    • when I was expecting existential horror

      The existential horror is being awakened on a ship and essentially having a life sentence to living alone with an incel

      tech guy.

      Also, they had Laurence Fishburne in it so I wanted them to end up Event Horizon-ing lol.

      I rented that one from a DVD kiosk (lol) and someone wrote "broken disc" on it. The thing worked fine on my setup at home, so I returned it with a note: "DVD works, but the movie sucks"

    • I wish Pratt would fuck off. He's part of a very right-wing church that is openly homophobic and transphobic. Any time it comes up, he tries to skirt around it with "Oh golly gee shucks I don't know I just go there because it's the local church everyone goes to."

      I shouldn't be surprised given Marvel's main executive guy was a right-wing chud, so of course he gives the only chuds he can find movie roles (not sure if that guy is still there after the merger with Disney).

  • Good Bye, Lenin!

    a movie i was forced to watch in my german language class. a teenage boy protagonist's mom (a member of the east german communist party) has a heart attack (from seeing her son being beaten by the eeeeebil east german police during an anti-government demonstration) right before the berlin wall falls, she wakes up in a coma with the doctors saying not to shock her, and the boy protagonist has to pretend like east germany never fell by wearing old clothes, replacing labels on groceries and creating fake news broadcasts for his mom. his dad had 'abandoned his family for a western woman' but it ackshually turns out he was fleeing the east because he refused to join the communist party and planned to bring his family with him.

    one of the dumbest movies i've ever watched (not in a good way) and emblematic of the constant un-subtle anti-communist propaganda american students are exposed to, especially when they seek understanding of other cultures. idiot high school me wanted to learn to read Marx, all i learned was how to order food and buy clothes and hate east germany.

  • I like to use this question as an ice breaker when meeting new people, it's simple but it has a lot to it and learning learning what someone considers to be "bad" is just as interesting as their media preferences.

    So yeah the worst movie I've ever seen was Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012). It was based off of a 2010 novel by Seth Grahame-Smith that retells the life of Abraham Lincoln as if his sole motivation was vengeance against vampires (one of whom killed his mom). Its a fun story and the author utilizes the premise wonderfully. While its not an allegory by any means it gives a glimpse into the worldview of white USAian liberals in the post-Obama era as the book seems to be centered on the belief that white supremacy is not systemic, but a bad habit propped up by a small group of evil racist people.

    So anyways I read that book and I got my whole family to read the book because "wtf why is this actually good" and everyone liked it so we got hyped for the movie and we get there and we are the only ones in the theatre. It was a total piece of shit.

    The premise was the only point of commonality with the novel. It was a lot more like Blade, if Blade was white and also the 16th president of the united states. Bad CGI, bad actors, and it was little more than a series of scenes of violence interspersed with vaguely historical scenes followed by time skips, I remember it being boring too. I hold a personal grudge against this film because it has overtaken the novel in the collective memory and that is a crime I cannot ever forgive.

  • For a person that used to host Bad Movie Nights, this question has always stumped me. The kiss of death for any film is it to be boring. Feardotcom might be my nomination for "worst", because i can never really get through it from sheer boredom, and that sets it apart from other movies that simply faded from memory.

    If you want to go the opposite of boring and enter into "would rather take a cheese grater to my skin" in reaction, that goes to Son of the Mask. Loud, obnoxious, unfunny, and just plain unnecessary. It never needed to be made, but it was, and now it's cursed to haunt the bottom of gas station 5 dollar movie bins forever more.

  • i never had a worst movie before this one, but dragged across concrete.

    watching it feels like being dragged across concrete and i have no idea how this ever got released. its not so much a movie as a laundry list of complaints about wokeness and minorities written by a nazi. it has no plot and very little in the way of characters beyond racial stereotypes. i didn’t seed on principle.

    the file was corrupted a few minutes before the end, and it could not have come sooner. i can’t believe we managed to get so far through it.

    it’s kind of interesting, you can see how the director gradually goes off the rails throughout his movies. the previous 2 are not good movies, and they’re pretty bad in terms of reactionary BS. but they were movies. the mask was still on. but dragged across concrete is simply not a movie.

  • kinda cheaty & petty cuz the file was corrupted & we were thankfully saved from the last third, BUT i'm gonna say dragged across concrete as it's fresh on my mind. n*zi boomer soapboxing & cop-asshole-licking feat. Meltdown Gibson. check out bone tomahawk -> brawl in cellblock 99 -> this if you want to witness the downward spiral of one man's

    • Bone Tomahawk is already like basically a racist old pulp adventure novel/comic but with extreme violence and an extremely thin excuse of "this well groomed Native American in a suit comes on screen and explains that the bad guys are completely fictional and not related to any actual tribes."

      So on the one hand it's surprising that the director wouldn't stay there right before things just become undeniably racist, but also entirely unsurprising for chuds to push their bullshit as far as it goes.

      • Bone Tomahawk was so incredibly racist. They even use the line "not real Indians" or some shit. Just wtf. They're still human, so where did they come from? I was really hoping the "villains" at the end would be eldritch horrors (like literal tentacle monsters with eagle heads oozing pink goop all over the place). But no, it was just humans getting dehumanized to justify ethnic cleansing.

        Watching a colonizer get cut in half was pretty fucking metal, tho.

      • yeah like i used to read that kinda shit a bunch so it's been interesting how tomahawk gets a more & more visceral reaction out of me each time i see it. but yeah it has the kinda plausible deniability that works on the average person, namely the excuse of "oh i was just innocently emulating that old stuff no worries hehe."

  • I don't think it's technically the worst film I've ever seen, nor even the film I enjoyed watching the least, but I would like to mention the local film The Monkey and The Mouth (NO: Adjø Montebello, lit. "Adieu, Montebello").

    I don't know the extent to which I didn't enjoy that film because it was "bad" versus because I was just being forced to watch it, because The Monkey and The Mouth is in a number of ways creative and unique, and tries to tackle multiple important issues, and it shows promise for what local films can be... But I just didn't enjoy it. At the time, in fact, this was when I was a teenager, I described the film as something to the effect of "a bunch of pretentious drivel whose sole purpose was to serve as a tax write-off and a justification for the film crew to take a probably state-funded vacation in the Bahamas". Nowadays I might call a film like The Monkey and The Mouth "awardmat", i.e. it's a "film festival" movie, you know the kind, the kind where its tackling of societal issues just feels kind of shallow, like the film is more focused on the appearance of having a message than actually being meaningful. But it's been many years since I saw this film, I don't remember it too well, maybe if I rewatched it I'd have more positive things to say.

    I did and still do like Karpe's music and their music videos, but I guess it just didn't work for me when stretched out to 100 minutes.

  • SeeFood, a english-dubbed malaysian finding nemo knock-off someone chose for movie night with a bunch of kids with no shared languages. Apart from some kind of implied cannibalism at the start, the only thing I remember is sitting at the back of the room complaining under my breath about its complete incoherence.
    Kids loved it. No idea why.

  • just wanted to boost the "bad movies are fun actually" signal

    i don't wanna be doing it every day, but there are times when you just wanna howl at / roast something mega goofy. italian horror is kind of a gold mine for this
    terrible schlock is always better viewed w/ company :3

  • I think "Blood, Guts, Bullets, and High Octane" from 1998? is one of the worst movies I've seen. I'm not sure if that's the exact movie I saw. I only remember it was some indie flick about a car dealership with tons of swearing. My mom's boyfriend rented it after it was recommended by the store clerk. Movie was unwatchable. Characters talked like "Fuckity fuck-fuck, shit fuck the car piss." The swearing didn't bother me, just that it was incomprehensible. There was no plot and we made it about 30 minutes in before turning it off.

    The actual worst movie I've seen that serves as my "This is what a 1 out of 10 stars looks like" is Hooking Up (2009). I was binging shitty teen sex comedies and came upon this one. There's nothing good about it. There's no cinematography. It looks like it was shot on a VHS recorder from 1994. The sound cuts in and out. There's no jokes, just awkward dialog and bizarre lines. If you've seen porn about step siblings fooling around, you've seen better acting than this movie. But it gets worse.

    Not only is the plot nonsensical and seems like it was an excuse to get young women naked for the cast and crew to ogle and grope, it's downright mean. There's a girl who gets involved with an older man and he's abusive towards her. It's meant to be funny but it's really not. This character is in high school and she gets hit by a man twice her age. It felt more like "holy shit am I watching #metoo court case footage?" than anything that could be interpreted as a joke. And it just ends. Nothing is resolved. There's no revenge on the shitty boyfriend. There's not even "and then these two became official boyfriend/girlfriend after realizing they have genuine feelings for one another."

    It's like if you took all the problematic shit in American Pie and condensed it into one film, slapped a "cheap as hell" filter over it, and shipped it out to audiences, you'd get Hooking Up. I finished hate watching it just so I could tell people how bad it is. It's contribution to the human race and culture is to be an example of how not to make a movie and to serve as the floor where the bottom of the barrel sits. I haven't even seen stuff things like August Underground, A Serbian Film, or Human Centipede, and I know they are better films. At least they're fictional stories meant to horrify. There's zero merit to a """comedy""" that plays domestic violence and statutory rape for laughs.

  • Geronimo (1993)

    Not only is the plot dogshit but they choose to equate the struggle for Indigenous people to get their land back to The Confederacy's need to maintain the institution of slavery.

  • The final two installments of the Unbreakable trilogy—Split and Glass—absolutely diarrhea'd all over the original and were some of the absolute worst, cringe movies I've ever watched that were trying to be taken seriously. There are probably worse movies I've watched but those were the worst in recent history by far.

    Twilight was also terrible but at least it was funny, thus fun, to watch.

  • Moonfall. Started it on a plane 10 minutes too late to see the whole thing, came home and immediately pirated it to get closure on that garbage.

  • The Pinocchio adaptation by Guillermo del Toro is basically unwatchable, I find. I have other ridiculous contrarian-y takes and stuff, runners up would be the 2005 Dukes of Hazzard reboot and maybe Bloodthirsty? But that Pinocchio is an assault on the senses.

  • One of the worst movies I've ever seen was called Megiddo The Omega Code. It preserved itself as some action/sci-fi thing but in reality it was an adaptation of the book of revelations made by insane fundamentalist burger Christians. There were two brothers, one is the hero and he goes on to be the president of the US of A. The other guy is literally Satan and becomes president of the godless EU. In the eve they fight it out on some plain in occupied Palestine. It was very moronic and off-putting.

    In the "so bad it's good" I would put Reptilicus, the 1960's Danish attempt at a Godzilla-type movie. Never since has a "giant monster destroys city" scene been more obviously just a guy in a costume knocking over cardboard boxes.

    The greatest fall from grace goes to Lars von Trier. In 1994 he made the TV series Kingdom Hospital that was a very well-made parody of the arrogance and megalomania of the medical profession told through a cheesy ghost story at a hospital. It was extremely well-written with relatable characters that supported eachother brilliantly. The jokes were crisp, relevant and are funny to this day. In 1996 a sequel was made which was just as good. Then stuff happened, the national broadcaster decided to spend their money on other projects, key actors died and that was the end of it.

    Or so we thought. In 2022 a third season was released with mostly new actors playing mostly new roles. It was amazingly bad and unfunny. Where 1994-Trier had sharp points to make about the intersection between science and the supernatural, 2022-Trier was just a boring old boomer making literal "Hurr Durr! Im Sweden you get cancelled if you have sex without written consent!" jokes. Where the characters of the two first seasons had been ridiculous but relatable the characters in 2022 were just annoying idiots. The jokes were stale and overdone. It is as if 2022-Trier was performing cargo cult rituals imitating 1994-Trier without understanding why the first two seasons worked as well as they did.

  • I get the impression that Cabin Boy (1994) was supposed to establish Chris Elliott (Groundhog Day, There's Something About Mary, recurring spot on Letterman) as the next Jim Carrey-tier leading comedy actor and screenwriter, but instead it was more of a deadpan surrealist love letter to Harryhausen creature features. Viewed on its own merits, it has a certain sense of comedic timing and a few classic bits ("maybe cooking oil is nature's sunblock"). However, what it has in comedic timing, it lacks in overall pacing. One can't help but be reminded of such films as Dumb and Dumber, Billy Madison, or even Animal House, and other films that bear the mantle of so-called summer comedies. This movie speaks less to the heart, and more to the sphincter.

161 comments