5mo ago

Starbucks' new CEO will supercommute 1,000 miles from California to Seattle office instead of relocating

www.cnbc.com Starbucks' new CEO will supercommute 1,000 miles from California to Seattle office instead of relocating

Starbucks says incoming CEO Brian Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks’s head office in Seattle on a corporate jet.

Starbucks says Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks' head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet

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5mo ago

Starbucks' new CEO will supercommute 1,000 miles from California to Seattle office instead of relocating

www.cnbc.com /2024/08/20/starbucks-new-ceo-brian-niccol-will-supercommute-to-seattle-instead-of-relocating.html

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5mo ago

Starbucks' new CEO will supercommute 1,000 miles from California to Seattle office instead of relocating

www.cnbc.com /2024/08/20/starbucks-new-ceo-brian-niccol-will-supercommute-to-seattle-instead-of-relocating.html

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138 comments

How do you boycott a company you already weren't buying anything from?
- Go there every day and ask for a water. It's free, but you're costing them a tiny amount each time.
  
  Oh I was gonna recommend arson. Maybe your plan is better
  
  Also grab something on the way out and don't pay for it.
  
  Use the bathroom and flush four times!
- Bricks
- Shoplift?
- Cockroaches + Starbucks product + video
- Bricks are cheap
- You mean pickett?
- Take their coffee grounds for compost?
- Buy stuff and then return it, over and over? I couldn't do this with Starbucks because I wouldn't want to even smell it.

The sooner we destroy all private jets the better.
- *private jet owners
  
  Both?
- There are legitimate reasons for private jets to exist, though the list is admittedly small.
  The ability to transport lifesaving medications and things like organs long distances as fast as possible comes to mind.
  There isn't much reason for individuals to travel on private jets in non emergency scenarios though
  
  Transporting organs doesn't happen on Private Jets, helicopters and courier craft typically do the job. It's also now well within the possibility for medium sized drones to be able to rapdily move something the size of an organ container reliably long distance, faster and more efficient than a jet can load, fuel, taxi, land and unload.
  Private Jets are just luxury items of the rich, and are the carbon equivalent of burning down small forests or power a small town with coal burning. There is nothing they do that can't be done more efficiently by a drone or helicopter for a fraction of the emissions.
- I'm sure that private (meaning small) jets can have valid use cases, it's the abuse by the rich that is the problem.
  
  "Private" doesn't mean "small". It means "privately owned", which means by a rich person.

I'm sorry, if you aren't willing to relocate, you are not a good fit for the company.
I heard this in a job interview and the position was disclosed as remote.
- I don't understand why can't the CEO be remote. They can buy all their important staff Apple Vision Pros if they'd like and it'll still be cheaper than this
  
  That’s not how you write off a corporate jet from your taxes.

Next time Starbucks does a greenwashing campaign just think of this asshole drinking champagne while commuting on a private jet.
- Isn’t Taylor Swift super green?
  
  How could she possibly be? Carbon offsets are largely a scam.

So, you're going to continue to increase climate change, rather than just using a zoom call. GOD DAMN CEOS!!! Why the hell is return to office so important to you assholes??? Just do a god damned video call!
- Have you considered the culture ?? Hmmm????
  
  Yeah the cubicle farm that smells like farts and microwaved fish is integral to a good days work!
- A zoom call has the possibility of being recorded. I'm 90% sure at this point all these execs insist on in person meetings is so they can plan and discuss illegal and unethical shit without worry.
  I'm only in middle management and I know I feel the difference in the way I talk about things on zoom calls VS in person.
  
  You could also record an in person meeting.
  Zoom tells participants if the are being recorded by the zoom app.
  I think these people just get off on having their fiefdom and serfs in person before them to pander and be sycophants.
- Self-preservation. If they stay at home for too long, they'll get sued for domestic violence.

Calling it "supercommute" is such a stupid thing. It should be called "stupidcommute" or maybe "commoronute".
- Cuntycommuting
  There ya go

I have to dry my clothes between 12am and 3pm and this m'fer gets to fly a jet to work. Private jets along with luxury yachts are things humanity shouldn't have.
- There's no inherent polluting/ecological threat in either vehicle (in the far-flung hypothetical that they run on sustainable sources), i.e. you can conceive of a solar-jet or a fusion yacht. Why can't people have nice, private things? Because my utopia conception of an equitable, 1%-less future doesn't necessitate me crammed in 949 hyperplane with 1000 other people for efficiency.
  
  Add a few more paragraphs and boom: you’ve got a copypasta
  EDIT: Wait, parent comment is not sarcasm
  
  You keep using the word "future".
  That's sort of the point you're ironically appearing to miss.

Well fuck you and your co² farting anus, Brian Niccol!

supercommute
I think the word they're looking for is 'travel'.
- Once a month or something. Otherwise, he'll work from home obviously.
  
  Niccol will still be expected to work from the Seattle office at least three days a week
  Except when he's flying around the country/world to other locations.

Real "Meetings that could have been Emails" energy on this executive level decision.
Honestly, doing the big Star Wars Emperor hologram head would have made this guy look less evil.

Do we have the FAA registration number for the aforementioned jet yet?
- Didn't they change the law so you can't track private flights anymore? Or was Melon Husk just trying to get that done? Or was that just me imagining things again? 🤔
  
  As far as I know, you can still track Elon's flights. It's not illegal since it was all publicly available information to begin with.
  
  They can't prevent tracking because aircraft are required to broadcast their information when in flight.
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_Dependent_Surveillance%E2%80%93Broadcast
  
  The FAA reauthorization act slipped in that ownership of private jets could remain anonymous. So you can still track them, because all flight plans are public and need to be for safety reasons, but they no longer have to tell you who owns what tail number. A dedicated tracker can figure out what plane belongs to who, either by showing up at the airport, or by comparing flight logs with other information about celebrity locations.

Just stop buying their coffee. You don't need it.
- It's not even coffee. It's artificial sweeteners with a bit of sugar and some more sweeteners.
  
  Mostly real sugar isn’t it? I always viewed Starbucks as kind of an adult breast milk. Sweet warm milk with a little stimulant to keep from crying on the way to work.
  
  There's no need descend to such hyperbolic depths, there are plenty of factually accurate complaints against the company and their product.
  
  Well, I take their cold brew every once in a while (where I live is basically the only place that does it) and it's quite good. I take it with no sugar, only ice.
- It's shit coffee
- I think I got starbucks once in the past 6 months.
  
  I think I got Starbucks once in my life

Niccol can live in his home in Newport Beach, California and commute to Starbucks’ head office 1,000 miles away on a corporate jet
Replace all the Taylor Swift memes with this fucking guy.
- We can do both, let's not forget that Taylor Swift is a garbage person too!
  
  Taylor Swift is the liberals' emotional support billionaire

Bro should one way supercommute into the sun

Eat the rich
- I keep my cutlery sharp in preparation.

I think there should be tax on flights, and the tax rate should double every time you fly in a year.
Nobody needs to be this cunty.
- For private flights, correct?
  
  Not if you actually want to fix the environment.
  
  All flights, proportional to the income of the passenger.
- Taxes need to scale with income. Your plan will hurt regular people that have to fly to see family.
  Fuckers like this CEO make too much money and they need to be taxed into oblivion.
- Can i vote for you?

The fucker should fly business class with everybody else
- Economy.
  
  Steerage
- Spirit/Frontier, he's not allowed to buy a single upgrade in advance, and the employees are required to harass him about the size of his personal item and upcharge him for a carry-on on every single flight.

We need to return to the office though.

Remember kids, climate change is your fault specifically, and only you can make things better by making your own life harder!
- Gosh. Thinking about all the time I wasted on the damn bus today made this sting more than usual.
- I stopped using plastic straws at Starbucks. If enough of you join me we can compensate for an entire weeks worth of the carbon footprint of this very important man.

Lucky him. Other corporations are designating hub cities and forcing remote employees to move or find a new job.

Be glad he's not hypercommuting
- He could commute from 1 casino in Vegas to like down the street in Vegas

I wonder what happened to all the Chipotle head office employees who had to relocate to be near this guy now that he bounced

Don't worry, he probably has some arrangement to only go like once. A month.
- Per the article, he's required to be onsite 3 days a week
  In the offer letter, Starbucks also notes that it will set up a remote office for Niccol in Newport Beach along with an assistant of his choosing. When he is not traveling for work, however, Niccol will still be expected to work from the Seattle office at least three days a week in alignment with Starbucks’ hybrid work policies, a company spokesperson tells CNBC Make It.
  
  That's some ridiculous micro management of a CEO. Didn't expect to see that in a contract for someone at that level.
  
  A "remote office" in his backyard, no doubt.
  
  No work from home! We're willing to fuel climate change for one person so everyone knows how serious we are! Not even the CEO is allowed to work remotely.
  Burn the planet, make everyone's work life more miserable than it needs to be, and profit from all of it.
  Corporate bullshit is going to kill off our species, and take the others with it because their greed is insatiable.
- Try once a week! He will have to be in Seattle three days a week to conform to Starbucks’ remote/hybrid work policy.

This is it, y'all! This is the one.
No political messaging, no debatable tech contribution, no societal contribution, the company will be fine because they change CEOs like I change my underwear.
I think everyone can agree, this is the one we eat. It's time to send a message and enjoy a damn fine meal.

The article says when he started at Chipotle they were headquartered in Denver but dickbag moved it to Newport Beach so it was closer. Guessing the same thing will happen to Starbucks. He will (randomly) decide that Newport Beach is a better location for a global coffee chain than Seattle.
- Was this the tiny portions chipotle ceo?