Milk

Someone who ordered oat milk to begin with shouldnt have any troubles navigating the world of milk.
- Eh. Oat milk is really popular for some reason. It could very likely be the only other milk they know. If someone was drinking rice or soy milk though then yeah I don't know how they wouldn't be familiar.
  
  I tried soy milk before I tried oat milk because soy was the only cruelty free milk I knew about. But I eventually tried all the varieties and determined that oat milk tastes the best.
- Is that a free-to-play game like World of Tanks!?
  
  No, subscription based, like World of Warcraft.

"that's a lot of choices"
Stfu and pick one. You sitting there having a casual conversation on your couch. Meanwhile the driver just standing there in the milk aisle staring at their phone for 5 minutes while you want to know all the options and hem and haw.
- It’s probably at a cafe or something
  
  90% chance the entire conversation was made up for the meme.
  
  If the Dasher is standing in line at Starbucks waiting for an answer that makes it 10x worse lol
  
  Having someone else stand in line for your fast food is so incredibly absurd I still can't get my head around it
- Even the supermarket pickers don't bother. They just grab whatever is a white liquid and at hand.
  There's like a 20% chance you're getting PVA glue.
- Yeah. But, I always try to be polite and treat delivery workers politely as possible. People are so rude that even "good morning. How are you doing?" Is stuff that none ask them.

Life pro tip: If you are vegan and lactose intolerant get oat milk. Out of all the alternatives that one tastes the closest to the real thing by a country mile.
- Yeah but they’re out
  
  No, they're oat
- Oat milk is also the best for the environment by an unironic country mile.
  
  Even better than soy? Soy is my favorite
- I tried oat milk. While it tastes good, IMO it tastes nothing like milk. The closest description I could give for the taste being "cereal juice"
  It's an interesting cooking ingredient though. Certainly has its own unique flavor. It's also a nice refresher drink.
  My biggest gripe with oat milk is that it isn't as "filling" as the alternatives. It's a drink, not a food. So when I try to 1:1 use it as a substitute it can leave me feeling sick (example, my morning coffee which I load with milk to get me started)
  TLDR: be mindful of the fact that it's VERY different from milk, even if oat milk tastes good.
  
  I'd recommend not substituting 1:1. If you go easy on the oat milk to coffee ratio, you'll have a better experience. IMHO, oat doesn't alter the taste experience of coffee as much as the other stuff, which is my foremost reason for preferring it.
  
  That is why oat milk is perfect for cereal
- I love oat milk in my coffee. It's got a good texture if that makes sense
  
  Mouthfeel you mean?
  
  The way I'd describe it is that, compared to other milk alternatives, it is the has the most body.
  ie, think of it being closer to full-fat milk than to non-fat milk. You'll notice that the taste lingers in your mouth a bit longer. (body can refer to it lingering for various reasons, but in this case, I think it's fat content, like in milk?)
  Another one with a body you might like is rice milk.
  fwiw taking a food tasting or wine tasting or coffee tasting class is fun; can pick up taste descriptor words: https://winefolly.com/tips/what-is-wine-body-and-how-to-taste-it/
- vegan or lactose intolerant
- Soy milk has actual soybeans in it though and therefore better nutritional value in most cases.
  
  I already get enough soy nutrients because tofu is delicious
- I think almond is closest - but that's shit for the environment, so oat it is
  
  Almond milk tastes like dirt.

I don't get how they're so good at milking those little oat teats.
- It fascinates me how they are getting almond milk.
  Poor almond cows.
  
  Almooooo
  Shut up Almeera you fat cow. Now let me squeeze your almonds.

Imagine your job being to shop for richer people and have to write them because of something like that. What a time to be alive.
- DoorDash is a scam and should be shut down
  
  What did I miss?

I wonder what odd jobs the other reindeer do outside of the holiday season.
- Prancer does modern dance
  Vixen is a model
  Comet is a programmer
  Dancer is professionally tiny
  Cupid is a couple's therapist
  Donner is a very specialised party planner
  Blitzen is a photographer
  Olive is an oil magnate
  And Rudolph is a mine shaft inspector.
  
  professionally tiny?

#firstworldproblems

- The entire text conversation is fake 😱
- Not everyone busy it as a milk substitute. I buy it because it tastes nice, and don't bother with alternatives.
  
  Yup, I keep a carton of oatmilk in the fridge for coffee (and occasionally to drink on its own, but it’s full fat so it’s rather caloric), and a carton of good ol’ cows milk as well. I don’t need it as a milk substitute, I just like it!

I just thought up a great business model and it's five times as exploitive as doordash plus we could roll it out for Christmas. By the time the novelty has worn off we should all (and by we, I mean everyone who isn't working for or using the app) be rich. Who wants to help me build doordance?
- That's ridiculous.
  DoorPrance would eat its lunch.
  
  yeah? how about DoorVixen, or DoorDasher- wait...
- Your biggest mistake is that you're joking.
- Ooo do we get to dance to The Doors? I love doing that. It would be even better if I got paid to do so!

I genuinely wonder who skimmed milk is made for.
If you can't drink whole milk due to the fattiness, you'd surely just drink semi-skimmed milk (2%)
And if you couldn't drink it due to the lactose, you'd just go for milk alternative.
So who is skimmed milk for? Who's buying it?
- People who are still afraid of dietary fat from the anti-fat craze of the 80s and 90s.
  If you’re watching weight, cutting calories from milk of all places is the worst place to do it. At least from whole down to skim. All the healthy stuff actually just so happens to be in the tasty part, the cream, since milk does these thing of mixing the ”sugar” into the cream in the form of Lactose. Cutting that out just leaves you with a worst-tasting, less nutritious beverage aside from the fewer calories.
  If you want fewer calories but still have nutrition, soy is the way to go.
  
  The soy would be great if they made it less salty. It's usually much cheaper than cow titty juice in my region.
  
  Why not go for buttermilk instead? The brunt of those dietary fats they are so scared of is in the butter...
- It's cos it tastes better in tea.
  I don't like the fatty bit in tea. I like it in coffee, but not tea.
  
  But why not 2%/semi-skimmed? You get the milky flavour, but not as fatty.
- Probably people who think it's healthier.
  
  It is healthier.
  Stop drinking fat water you literal babies.
  You don't need trace nutrients from cow titties, you need to eat some goddamn vegetables.
- Tea. Whole milk goes in coffee, skim milk goes in tea.
  
  But why not 2%/semi-skimmed? You get the milky flavour, but not as fatty.
- If you're on a low-fat diet ordered by a doctor for some sort of health reason, or maybe if you simply prefer the taste of skim? I can't imagine anyone preferring it, but people do enjoy some strange things so maybe.
  
  That would be a valid reason, but that wouldn't explain the massive volume it sells at.
  Seems from the comments here that some people do actually prefer skim, can't fathom why, but they do
- I haven't drank milk in decades but before I quit I was drinking skim because the milk with fat made me nauseous and it tasted better. Eventually even skim milk made me nauseous. Fortunately I have always liked my coffee black. Although I cut out caffeine a few years ago so now it's black decaf on a rare occasion. Yeah I'm fun at parties too.
  
  To be fair, that sounds like an intolerance to milk/lactose, which is a pretty good excuse for cutting milk out your life.
  Probably not worth pointing at now, but have you considered trying milk substitutes. Oat milk is pretty good - I keep some at home cause I like both it and regular milk.

They are always out of Oat Milk because it's the G.O.A.T. Milk.
- I once had a roommate from India who saw "got milk?" on a carton, and thought it was goat milk.
  That's actually pretty confusing if you haven't seen the commercials.
- Nothing really compares to real milk though.
  
  Eh, I outgrew human milk at a pretty young age actually.
  
  hard disagree my dude but it's ok we can dunk our biccies in whatever we like
  
  How come you're saying "real milk" when you mean "breast milk"?

A fellow scholar!

I only see two options: almond milk and breast milk
- Leave the Activision-Blizzard break room and go to a store. Might have better luck
  
  Oh no....in there they have nut milk but not almond... It's another kind of nut.
  
  bold for you to assume they have a job

Dasher?
- DoorDash food delivery guy
- DoorDash delivery driver

Rice milk not an option?
Literally a waste of time.

Good convo

I just want milk that tastes like real milk.
- This tastes like real milk, and only 2% fat.
  Looks significantly at your stomach
- Soy milk is the only non-dairy milk I've tried that comes close. It's not 1:1 but it's good enough to be used with cereal and not be super weird at least. And the vanilla flavored one isn't bad as just a drink.
  
  This is interesting to me. I attracted a number of downvotes too when I said I like soy milk. Maybe this is one of those things like pineapple on pizza that's very polarizing ¯(ツ)_/¯

If they're getting oat milk they probably don't want any of those, except maybe almond. There's soy milk which tastes like shit, hell, there's even hemp milk
- Hemp doesn't even have nipples
  
  Not with that attitude
  
  Neither do oats or soy, but here we are drinking their milk
- Personally I order oat milk but I only do so because I prefer it and I think it's better for the environment; I will gladly take regular milk if it's not available.

One of those is real milk, the rest are just pretending
Sorry I made a joke
- https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/024/574/Screen_Shot_2017-11-06_at_12.41.31_PM.jpg

Whole milk for my kefir please.
- You dropped this:
  .
  Messy Turks!

Almond milk tastes good too... Soy milk (when unflavored) I don't like much at all. I'll take any in Vanilla or Chocolate flavours tho.
I only drink Cow milk of all the options bc it's cheapest per Litre.

- Yeah that’s about right! Oat milk is the king of coffee creamer though

It's almond juice. There's only one kind of milk, and that's moo cow fuck milk.
Edit: for the zoomers that missed the reference
- hey now, there's also goat milk among others.
- There's also literally every other mammal with the possible exception of platypi. Nobody knows what the fuck is up with those freaks and anyone who claims otherwise is a liar, high or a high liar.
  
  They have milk. They just sweat it instead. I learned about it in a documentary about what two kids are doing during their 104 days of summer vacation.
- Cow titty juice. You can call anything anything. If enough people say it then it's correct. It's like how the word 'literally' gained an extra definition of 'not literally'. Unless you are speaking France French, then the government decides or something.
- Gatekeeping milk. Okay, if you think that's worth the effort
  
  He's just making a lewis black standup comedy reference