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Putting the die in diet
Putting the die in diet
264 comments
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Would be more efficient if she'd also smoke 30 cigarettes a day.
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It's the 70s. The cigarettes are implied haha
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Replace the egg by a croissant, add a cigarette after each meal. Become condescending. Move to France. Blend in.
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So passé, it's ecig now.
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Imagine that being your fuel for every day. Oh, and while you're at it, wrangle one or more small [animal-like] children all day, keep the entire house clean, and dinner better be ready when I get home--it's been a hard day at work. And stop being such a bitch, eh?
The booze was less of a diet aid and more of an anti-psychotic, I assume.
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Replace the egg by a œuf.
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Three eggs a day? In this economy!?
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Trump is going to bring the egg price down any day now
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The Gulf of How Does This Lower Grocery Prices
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Egg in a hole is the new avocado toast
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Wait how expensive are eggs in the USA? In Germany I pay 3.50 Euros (3.65$) for a dozen organic eggs. Make that 2.20 for non-organic not free-range
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I was at the grocery store yesterday $6 a dozen was the lowest price one they had
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$8.99 for 12 in California
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I got curious and asked chatgpt to calculate things for me. It suggests that if doozens of eggs cost you more than 5$ you can save money if you raise your own chicken.
In the first year, considering initial costs for setup and equipment, you may not save much—perhaps only $10 to $50. However, after the first year, the ongoing costs (mainly feed) could result in savings of $50 to $100 annually for each hen you keep.
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Chickens get sick extremely easy and require a LOT of time for extra care and maintenance of their boxes.
For an amateur, the first years will be as much if not harder.
But my guess is if someone can't make the 30 USD a month it takes to eat 2 daily eggs, they surely are not struggling for free time
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Growing up we had 4 egg laying hens. We were swimming in eggs. Literally had to plan meals and baking and whatnot around how many eggs we had. We fed them to our dogs. Granted, it was just my mom and I, but damn we had eggs.
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ah yes, the trembling alcoholic diet
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tbf when I was young and single and would go out 4 times a week I was the skiniest I've ever been
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Young is doing a lot of lifting.
Just as I never had to when I was young...
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I was always skinny, no matter my diet or exercise etc. until I turned 30. I'm a bit above normal now, not fat but got some stuff to tug on. Looking back at photos from my crazy party years is scary, almost feels like a miracle that I'm still alive. I was so damn skinny and had almost green skin colour, just sickly looking. That'll definitely come and bite me in the ass in older days.
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On a single bottle of wine?
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That's why theyre trembling.
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Wine + coffee
But you would build resistance to both over about three weeks.
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Very similar to The Drinking Man's Diet.
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This is what is now called a keto diet. Eggs, due to high protein, work as an appetite suppressant for several hours. Sugar causes cravings in a few.
There was never, among other things, a high population of obese people until the recommendation of the low fat diet (pyramid diet). Usually you would just see them at carnivals.
I've gone back to the 60's diet several years ago. Lost 95 lbs,, have increased energy levels, feel great.
10/10 recommend
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I must add, the gas I would produce on this diet would for sure violate the Geneva Suggestions
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Geneva Suggestions
Found the account of US government
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No, they now consider them the Geneva aggressions. As in how dare those Genoese tell us not to do something, we should invade Sweden over it. /s
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Found the Canadian. "It's never a war crime the first time".
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My uncle has an enforced limit on deviled eggs at family gatherings for similar reasons.
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“We highly recommend gassing civilians indiscriminately is like probably not really the best idea.”
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username checks out.
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Sgt Johnson: "Master Chief, use the space lasers!"
John: "wookie battle cry"
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Unspoken component of this diet was an array of experimental opioids and uppers that were handed out to housewives like tic-tacs.
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Unlike now, when the target demographic for pharmaceutical stimulants is mainly children.
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Coffee candies were promoted to acclimate children to the taste of coffee (and the bitter caffeine molecule)!
I don't know why you've been downvoted but you're right
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Mother's Little Helper
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Clearly the key to success is how hard-boiled the eggs are.
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Breakfast:
Lunch:
Dinner:
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The finn special.
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Perkele
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Shit. Where you getting the money for so many cigarettes? Best I can do is drag a two pack of Swisher Sweets out over the week.
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Such a foodie
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I take the smaller glass is "little water"
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Good point, the cigarettes were probably a given.
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What ties it together for me is suggesting that poached egg for Lunch is acceptable, as if they understand the horrors of war experienced during breakfast
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I'm also intrigued as to why they think hard boiling vs poaching the egg has any bearing on its calorie content.
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Basically yes.
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Bless her. If someone that really 'loves and appreciates wine' but 'hates eggs' finds that a complete nightmare, then I (who am the opposite) should leave it alone.
She'd absolutely cooked the shit out of those eggs, though. I'd probably hate them too if I only got 'yellow cooked until it's a powdery dust' as my options.
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They aren't done until you get an even green layer around the yolk.
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OK but also boiled eggs are fine. Like I don't hate them with seasoned salt, but fried and scrambled are the way to go
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I laughed way too hard at this.
I love wine, but it is a depressant, and without a more normal amount of food to help blunt the effects of alcohol, I think I was experiencing a little bit of that “sad drunk girl crying in the bathroom” syndrome many of us observed (or experienced, no judgment!) in college.
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I feel this without the alcohol so maybe I should try this diet and lose some weight at least.
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OK that's hilarious and also it puts a bit of a contextual spin on mid century misogyny. Every description of the mental and emotional effects of that diet reminded me of how all that was the stereotype of young professional women in the 70s
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Steak, eggs, and wine? I can't afford a billionaire diet.
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French wines were much cheaper in the 1970s.
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I bet eggs were less than $8 a dozen too.
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I think we could do a chicken thighs, chicken breast, and plastic bottle rum version of the diet for cheap
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I don't like chicken, so sounds like 3 bottles of rum a day.
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Buy bottom round, Sutter Home, and eggs from a backyard chicken farmer; very cheap.
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TIL I'm a billionaire
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Not a veggie in sight, so your whole digestive motility was based on alcoholic diarrhea. (Been there..)
So fashionable to shit yourself in public in white dresses.
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Also nothing but protein and a smidge of fat. The only carbs you get is the little bit of sugar in the wine, but considering it recommends dry wine that’s not much. I bet you’d have the worst headache of your life by day three.
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A lot of fat too. Eggs and steak are high fat, especially high saturated fat.
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As God intended
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Poached if necessary
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I wonder when poached eggs are necessary
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Tired of boiled maybe, like necessary for your sanity
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Just throwing in a little shame for free
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I choose to see it as stealing eggs from the nests of eagles and condors.
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What, no cigarettes?
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It was the 70s. The average Vogue reader was assumed to be smoking a pack of Virginia Slims a day.
'You've come a long way, baby!'
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That wine is gonna kick like a mule on an empty stomach.
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And the coffee to really make you going.
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Coffee to get you up wine to bring you down, everything in balance.
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DIET: WINE AND EGGS
Steak
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When is it "neccessary" to poach an egg instead of hard boil? I guess the 70s was a strange time. It was half a century ago and no one had computers or cell phones back then. I think people sat around and played monopoly.
One bottle a day per person. Boooo. Maybe get the double sized bottle then. The cheap ones they sell at the drugstore. And drinking wine and coffee in the same meal, nice. Maybe mix them together. It says chablis only, a regional subset of chardonays. Seems a little bit strict-- I again blame the 70s.
OK damnit, I'm in with you OP. First one to -5 pounds (or death) wins. Shall we bet?
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I think the poaching was only mentioned cause it's in vogue and it had to make the reader feel bougie.
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Winner gets the others leftover eggs
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I have to forfeit. just went to 3 stores, no eggs to be had till wednesday I heard. I guess you win, and you get all my leftover eggs.
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my wife and I tried this for a couple weeks and it works but I'd recommend putting the steak at lunchtime or breakfast if you're at all active before dinner.
I nearly passed out when I tried to exercise before dinner steak. Next time I had the steak for lunch and was A OK.
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A bottle of wine a day is a lot of empty calories
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Could always cut down on the eggs and add some tequila
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Key point is that while ethanol can easily be turned into triglycerides, it's not so easy to do gluconeogenesis with it. Since you can't turn it all into glucose, you can't refill your glycogen stores with it. Every gram of glycogen comes with 3 grams of water. You'll end up losing a lot of water weight in a few days even if you're in a calorie excess because of the relatively low carbohydrate profile of this diet. If you drink enough wine, the sugar from the wine will allow you to rebuild your glycogen stores so that's why this diet limits it to a bottle.
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I keep telling my parole officer this but he won't listen.
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I mean, at least the wine and coffee have some antioxidants.
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3 eggs is a lot of empty protein
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I can already smell the deadly farts. The force is strong with this one.
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After a whole bottle of wine, you wouldn't care, and you would care if anyone else cares :)
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Does wine cause farts? News to me.
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eggs and nothing else certainly does
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70s keto
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Yeah it is keto + OBOWAD. Alcohol inhibits fat metabolism so I would expect this to be less effective than keto for fat loss.
When I was keto I could have 1 serving of alcohol a day and that seemed to actually help prevent plateaus, probably due to diuretic effects. However, 2 or more drinks in a meal and I wouldn’t lose or would even gain due to inflammation. I don’t think I tried drinking 1-2 per meal for more than one meal a day.
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- Brought to you by the American Egg, White Wine and Steak Association.
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Feels like the Lucille Bluth diet.
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"It's what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner..."
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Pro Tip: For an even quicker result, drink a cup of tequila right before bed. The agave's thermogenic properties will ensure that you puke those 3 eggs and half a stake right out.
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This must have been written by Hunter Thompson
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Hunter Thompson's routine according to E. Jean Carroll:
3:00 p.m. rise
3:05 Chivas Regal with the morning papers, Dunhills
3:45 cocaine
3:50 another glass of Chivas, Dunhill
4:05 first cup of coffee, Dunhill
4:15 cocaine
4:16 orange juice, Dunhill
4:30 cocaine
4:54 cocaine
5:05 cocaine
5:11 coffee, Dunhills
5:30 more ice in the Chivas
5:45 cocaine, etc., etc.
6:00 grass to take the edge off the day
7:05 Woody Creek Tavern for lunch-Heineken, two margaritas, coleslaw, a taco salad, a double order of fried onion rings, carrot cake, ice cream, a bean fritter, Dunhills, another Heineken, cocaine, and for the ride home, a snow cone (a glass of shredded ice over which is poured three or four jiggers of Chivas)
9:00 starts snorting cocaine seriously
10:00 drops acid
11:00 Chartreuse, cocaine, grass
11:30 cocaine, etc, etc.
12:00 midnight, Hunter S. Thompson is ready to write
12:05-6:00 a.m. Chartreuse, cocaine, grass, Chivas, coffee, Heineken, clove cigarettes, grapefruit, Dunhills, orange juice, gin, continuous pornographic movies.
6:00 the hot tub-champagne, Dove Bars, fettuccine Alfredo
8:00 Halcyon
8:20 sleep
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For those wondering, Halcyon is a benzo like Xanax and likely the only reason this guy had any chance at slumber.
Also, everyone should try hot tub champagne at least once, or it's low rent cousin the shower beer. Something about a cold bubbly beverage in a hot steamy environment enhances both pleasure.
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grass to take the edge off the day
At this point, he's been awake for 3 hours.
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Some people are just built different. This is a man who despite all this managed to function and be a damn good writer. I was somewhat incapacitated yesterday thanks to my decision on Saturday to have a third whiskey sour while out with friends. He was out there starting his day with a chemical combo that made my friends have to check my eyes for jaundice in my early 20s.
The most normal and believable part of this to me is dropping acid 2 hours before starting to write.
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Another of the 3-day diets on this list (and to be fair, they said don't do any of them for more than 3 days!) was:
Ice cream. As much as you want. But only vanilla, and no extras like fudge sauce or sprinkles.
I remember, because I'm old.
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I read one in a magazine that was for more than 3 days, and it suggested only drinking milk instead of water.
The reasoning was:- fat cells are mostly water
- so not drinking water will "dry out" the fat cells
- drinking milk is fine because your stomach acid turns it into a solid, so it isn't liquid anymore
Nutritional advice used to be wild.
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There was another one, don't know if it was from the same list or not, but it was the all beet diet. Just beets. Season and cook them however you want, but that is all you are allowed to have. Period. My stepdad did the diet and nearly lost his goddamned mind.
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I suppose it's one way to lose weight. It wouldn't be long before I decide to choose hunger over even more fucking beets
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I feel like one would lose their mind looking at the toilet afterwards. I imagine it looks like you shit out blood clots
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Sounds like the only-kale diet I read about.
I wonder if some of those were just the result of a dare between magazine writers.
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Military diet, I remember that. Did that as a kid for a month or so
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Diuretic diet. It works, but your piss will be brown at the end. Removing all the glycogen and water from your system can lose you over 5 pounds in a few days, but it won't change your shape.
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I mean, there’s nothing preventing people from drinking water as part of this diet..
Hilariously enough, it’s really a very basic, boozy ketogenic diet.
You’ll lose a lot of water-weight in the first few days regardless, as you deplete your glycogen stores; the caffeine, alcohol and lack of carbohydrates should help keep satiety (lack of hunger pangs).
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The amphetamine is implied
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If you're on amphetamines you don't need that to lose weight. This is what you do because your doctor refused to prescribe them for your being within a healthy bmi
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Eggs for breakfast, eggs for dinner...
When you finally shit it will be like 2 Coke cans stuck together.
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That's what all the coffee and wine is for!
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Lemon juice at dinner guarantees that you reach max level of heartburn, if not yet.
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The first time I ever experienced heartburn, it was so bad that I felt like a chestburster alien was trying to come out. I was absolutely desperate and immediately started trying the home remedies, none of which did shit.
I went to the doctor later and I was like, "This cannot be heartburn. I've seen the heartburn commercials and this is so much worse. And the commercials all have old men with heartburn."
Surprise! Chronic heartburn started as a 22-year-old woman.
One of many reasons that medications should not be allowed to be advertised on TV.
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I had horrible heartburn throughout my 20s and into my 30s. Mentioned it to every doctor. It would keep me up at night. It would hurt like a bitch and I'd often feel like i was throwing up. One new doctor was like, "you ever try a food allergen panel?"
Turns out, I'm allergic to caesin. It's a protein in pretty much all dairy. Stopped having dairy products and heartburn is 99% gone.
Moral of the story: heartburn can be caused by a tonne of reasons and it's hard to pinpoint if there's even something concrete to even point to
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I had heartburn when I started eating really unhealthily and putting off exercise around the time before I went vegan. Because I didn’t know what I was doing at first I dropped a ton of weight, then gained some of it back when I discovered the array of processed vegan junk food.
I rarely get it now (despite eating super spicy foods constantly) but when I do it’s after I haven’t been active for awhile—in other words when I start getting fat.
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I know someone who gets the shits from egg yokes and also coffee on occasion. This diet would work well for them because they'd shit themselves inside out after 3 days of this.
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Diet
Bart
Diet
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I still chuckle from this.. somehow the thought of doing a diet is even worse than death for him hahaha
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Surely someone who speaks German can't be evil
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It's a distant ancestor to the hunter s Thompson diet. It just needs more drugs.
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There were dinosaurs in the place, and some fucker was serving them alcohol
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I thought we were talking about a movie not real life ahahahah hahahahahaha LOLOLOLOLOLOL
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It's the 70s, same time and concept. It's just that it was undignified to acknowledge the drugs housewives were on st the time
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People eat way worse than this and manage to live through it (for a while).
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Vitamins be like… hmph, skinny ass bitches really are going to die.
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Sponsored by a wine maker. A bottle of wine a day - jeeze.
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The excessive amounts of white wine is actually the only thing here that saves you from scurvy.
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I don't think that you'll get scurvy in the 3 days of this diet. 😆🍋
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Excessive you say? Hmm…seems like the bare minimum.
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I would sub out a decent bottled in bond bourbon for the wine. But overall I approve of the diet.
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That is absolutely insane. Black coffee? What am I a savage?
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That was exactly how I felt I was treated when I was 20 and visited the US.
Asked for a small Cup of coffee in Starbucks, and the girl asked me 3 times if I was absolutely sure I wanted it without cream and sugar.
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Why the coffee for dinner?
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My guess is the caffeine shuts off the appetite, hence having it at every meal.
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Look at the privilege showing through, able to afford eggs for more than one meal a day in the USA.
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The dozen is about 3 USD.
Even if it was 5 USD, what, you can't spend like 30 USD a mont to eat 2 eggs on the morning for each day?
Come on
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There's a lot of days when I eat less and drink more.
The diet works, you guys. I haven't been this light in like 23 years, and back then I was quite a bit shorter. (Which is why I don't use the word thin. I've never been this thin.)
edit (it's 19:12 and my "breakfast" is this bottle of Dr Pepper that I put a few fingers of rum into)
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Yes you do lose weight when you develop cirrhosis of the liver.
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And no supper? I would definitely die without coffee, hard boiled egg and a glass of wine for supper.
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It looks like they've never heard of second breakfast, either.
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Excellent reference. I think about this at least once per week.
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Today is one of these days when poached eggs are necessary.
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(one bottle allowed per day)
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My doctor thinks that's reasonable. French in his sixties.
To be fair they had the whole "I'm not drinking more than one Litre of wine per day!" in the nineties (maybe eighties), pronounced by popular actors and so.
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there was also the "french are having less coronary diseases that must be because of wine!" craze as well, which I think has been recently debunked. not that there is anything wrong with a good glass of red wine, it is just not a substitute for genetic luck, healthy diet and brisk walking when it comes to coronary health.
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Yeah right, you give me that much wine and I’m eating all the escargot.
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Anyone actually doing something like that has a problem.
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eating disorders have been around forever :( we just have the language to describe it now
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We all have problems.
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I heard of fitness models doing restricted water intake and glass of white wine the night before the shoot. Not a bottle
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Did you die yet?
264 comments