Bread is love, bread is life

Bakers knead bread to explore their souls.
- And get ripped forearms.

Carbs aren’t evil but if you don’t want to be overweight you have to eat carbs in moderation. It’s not that hard gang.
- Actually fat makes you fat and carbs make you crab
  
  The incessant lurch of time makes us crab and there's nothing we can do about it
- Isn't Low Carb debunked? As long as you eat halfway clean and at a deficit, you lose weight. And you don't gain weight by eating a lot of carbs, as long as you don't have a caloric surplus.
  
  Weight loss is literally calories in vs calories out. That’s it. Carbs generally have way more calories than foods without carbs. Low carb definitely works for weight loss, so I don’t know if I’d call that debunked.
  It’s really simple. But these fad diet cultures we get sucked into have made us all crazy it feels like.
  
  and at a deficit, you
  Well that's the thing, carbs are just very calorie dense so eating cards makes it harder to eat at a deficit.
  
  Isn't Low Carb debunked?
  What does this even mean? Nobody that I know of has ever asserted that low carb diets are the only way to lose weight. Low carb diets tend to reduce appetite which helps in achieving a calorie deficit, that's all .
- You got it all wrong, you just have to work out a lot and then eat all the carbs you want
  
  Hell yeah! This also works! It’s what I generally have to do to lose weight because I fucking love high calorie high carb foods. I also love jogging though so it evens out.
- I like to go to the bakery down the street and buy a loaf, then just eat the whole thing while it's still fresh. I'm a scrawny little spitfuck.
  
  Obviously metabolisms can affect things. Also anecdotal evidence on a platform where you post anonymously is less than worthless. It holds about as much weight as me telling you that when I switch to low carb while keeping my portion sizes the same I lose weight.
- What a load of bullshit. Tell that to the Italians, where they eat ridiculous amounts of pasta, pizza and baked goods a and have the lowest obesity rates in Europe.
  Food quality + more walking + meat in moderation.
  
  Lol how is food quality, moderation with meat portioning, and exercise not calories in vs calories out? Guaranteed Italian portions are lighter and their food has less calories per meal.

I'm confused about the single full stop. It shows they have knowledge of basic punctuation, but refuse to use it.
- They also resent anti-runon-sentence propaganda
- What is there to be confused about? They can speak english correctly, but they simply refuse doing so due to a lack of respect for the language. Almost every professor at my uni is also like this: they have the skills to follow grammatical rules, but they don't owe it to anyone to actually do it. This is normal.
  
  Also any language where through and threw sound identical doesn’t deserve much respect.

cries celiacly

God gave us grain but not bread so that we, too, could indulge in the joy of creation.

"A man cannot live on bread alone
But nor can he live without it"
--That one shopkeep in Kingdom Come: Deliverance

Bread is still one of those real old school basic foods, that comes with a decent somewhat similar old school basic price.
I don't care if it's good or bad, i want to have some money left at the end of the month instead of having month left at the end of your money.
- There used to be punishments for bakers adulterating flour to make profits; medieval communities were so reliant on the bread that the Lords went out of their way to regulate bakeries and ensure high wages for bakers to prevent that from happening (i.e: Adding chalk).

Reading "anti crab" propaganda made me think extra.

Did.. Did they just make a "pee is stored in the balls" reference?

Yeah but that factory white bread in the supermarket is literally the devil. How else can it stay good for so long?
- Factory white bread is just misunderstood. It's not meant for anything fancy, it's designed for PBnJ or a quick bologna sandwich. If you're putting more than a slice of cheese and ultra processed meat slurry on it, you're misusing it.
- That is because it is not bread. It is simply a bread-like edible substance.

But im allergic to gluten :(
- I'll eat a slice for you friend 😭
- As the Poet Angelmaker once said: "NO PITY FOR THE WEAK"
- Gluten-free bread exists
  
  Gluten free bread lacks any of the pleasant qualities of actual bread (my gluten allergy is "makes you have the shits" and not "kills you")
  You can get good biscuits and cake without gluten. Good cereal. Passable pasta. Even decent pizza crust.
  Not bread. Not by a long shot. The best gluten free bread in the world is just decent at its best, not to mention costing 15x the price. REALLY not worth it.

Bread is my favourite carb, and it isn't close. I had a period in my teens of sandwiching everything. Chili? Sandwich. Curry? Sammich. Stews? You guessed it: big mess.
- Woah, is it you, Sloppy Joe himself?? 😲
- I'm in my mid/late thirties and I still put almost everything in bread. My 4 years old sometimes make bread sandwiches (one type of bread in another type of bread). I'm not there, yet.
  
  Alright, a bread sandwich is interesting. Now I love me some bread, but doesn't the distinction between loaf 1 and loaf 2 get lost in all the breadyness? If they want a hybrid loaf they probably make those. I suppose at 4 they're not making themselves, but the bread maker... you... might.
  I thought I loved bread, perhaps I merely enjoy it.
- When I first moved to Japan and was shopping at a supermarket, I noticed they sell yakisobapan. so grilled noodles in bred. I guess as a kid I would use my garlic bread to make a little sandwich with spaghetti so I kinda get it, but still.

I see extreme anti-carb mentality like teetotalling when the health goal is really just don't be a drunkard.

In 1900 the average French person was eating 900g of bread per day.
I'm working on it to reach this level again.

For thousands of years the peak of life has been eating fresh bread and drinking wine, it still is tbh. For maximum luxery add fresh cooked meat to the bread :3
- And CHEESE !

Simple: I'm a carb based life form.

I only accept the darkest, blackest bread there is. I crave the fiber
- The vast majority of breads are adulterated to a point of being virtually fraudulent. At least in the US there is pretty much only two brands of bread that are actually good, and most people have access to only one, if any. Here's a video that goes into detail about it:
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tRHzJ7ZNHv4
  
  Just make it. I don't buy bread and haven't in years. It's not saving me any money but flour, salt, and water are the only ingredients in most of my breads and they are as good as the fanciest bakery rustic sourdough. And easy as heck to make, sourdough is so forgiving.
- The darkest bread there is, is usually bread that is articifially dark. Here in the Netherlands we have bread colored as chocolate, that would actually be white but is made to look dark so people think it's healthier.

Bread is best as a butter or cheese delivery vehicle.
No matter how you slice it, only the upper crust of bread society can cut it as a standalone food.

I used to make a lot of bread and things like pizza dough. I've even grown and ground my own wheat and other grains.
And then my partner developed and/or decided they have a gluten sensitivity. Yes I've tried making gluten-free whatever but it's not the same. I want my gluteny-goodness.
I will harbor this resentment forever.
- I know it's not the same, but if you don't have the sensitivity, then obviously you don't have to eat the same food.
  And yes, I agree, most gluten free replacements are kinda bad. Nowhere near as bad as they were 20 years ago, though. Took me months, but I actually did find a gluten free pasta that's honestly edible and doesn't ruin the dish with some weird texture or taste I don't like.
  I only tell you this because I too used to think gluten-free is a fad and people are just "imagining" benefits from going gluten-free free.
  I've had a stomach pain my entire life. No doctor ever suggested going gluten free and I even had a biopsy taken at 18 to see whether it's celiacs. Either it was a false negative or I have what is known as NCGS, Non-celiac gluten sensitivity.
  And it's genuinely not a joke.
  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10593161/
  Non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS) has been shown to occur in individuals without serological or biopsied evidence of celiac disease (CD), who manifest psychotic ormood disorders that resolve following elimination of gluten. In this case history, we discuss a similar manifestation in a 31-year-old woman without serological evidence of CD, whose psychiatric symptoms improve with gluten elimination.
  A 31-year-old Caucasian woman with a history of severe gluten sensitivity, Hashimoto's disease, mosaic turner's syndrome, and presumed schizo-affective disorder, bipolar type with multiple inpatient psychiatric involuntary admissions presented to the ED on petition for aggressive behavior by law enforcement. The patient had a week-long break-down at her parents' home, where she also resides. She reportedly broke several objects and threatened to slit her mother's throat. On the physical exam, she was malodorous, disheveled, and had long extremely matted hair. Psychiatric evaluation was notable for rambling speech, dysphoric mood, agitation, and irritability. Thought content was disorganized and consisted of grandiose and paranoid persecutory delusions. She was emergently given Haldol for worsening agitation, as she became physically threatening.
  And all that goes a way by not ingesting gluten. So you know, which would you rather, a crazy gf and donuts or a friendly gf with some gluten tree donuts which are like sort of okay?
  I'm not saying your gf has NCGS but just saying I understand the resentment (id sell my own mother for some proper gluteny carbonara) but going gluten and dairy free (casein, the milk protein, often also caused symptoms with NCGS patients, might want to maybe let your gf know if she's improved with gluten free but still experiencing some GI symptoms) may have improved her well being so much that I think you should at least try to get over the resentment.
  You can always go eat out alone. But if she's maintaining a strict diet, she prolly shouldn't go to a single fast food burger place. Some of them offer gluten free buns but they don't guarantee the meal to be glutenfree as its made in the same kitchen. Also, worth asking if they're have a separate deep frier for gluten free things if getting fries.
  Sorry for the rant. I truly understand the resentment and the hankering for cheesy gluteny goodness, trust me. But I also know how massively the diet can improve life quality (Google "gluten belly" for instance for some insta girls showing the difference). And I know how frustrating it can feel when other people see it as something that's not "really necessary", instead treating it somewhat like someone not liking pickles in their cheeseburger. (I'm sure you don't treat her like that, I'm talking about people I know.)
  
  And it’s genuinely not a joke.
  I'm well aware.

Based and yeast-pilled

I like how in the menu the chef is like -- and I'm paraphrasing of course -- you assholes can't have bread cuz you don't deserve it.

We should stage a conquest of bread.

Bread is like the shady dealer standing just inside a dark alley who, when somebody passes by on the street, goes:
"Hey you!"
"Yes, you."
"Would you like a little something to make you feel good?"
Opens long coat, showing a collection of cheeses, butter, peanut butter, jams, ham and other cold meats, and other delicious things that aren't all that healthy
- "Oh I really shouldn't, I ..."
  "Come on dude, this one's partly mouldy."
  "I TAKE FOUR! I MEAN FIVE!"

This guy Deutsch.

History of Civilization According to Bread

Sometimes I'll just throw a baguette in the oven and bake it until it's nice and crunchy and while it's still hot I'll break the top off and just start picking at it and eating it as a snack.
This person is enlightened. Bread is love, bread is life 🥖

Personally I just have keto bread with like 1 net carb. Love bread and love the fiber.

This is incorrect.
Butter, jam, marmalade, honey, relish, mayonnaise, and mustard are what make life worth living.
Bread is like air: a medium that is difficult to enjoy on its own, but necessary so that we can have the truly good things.
- Found the heretic
  Give me a loaf of bread, and I will eat it and be happy. End of story.
  Condiments are nice conditionally, but bread is always fantastic
  
  And freshly baked bread smells and tastes orgasmic
  
  You can eat bread without butter, but good luck eating butter without bread
- You should look for better bread. It exists.
  
  Funny thing is, where I come from, a bunch of those "better breads" wouldn't even be considered bread because we use an entire separate word for white breads. I wish English also had segregation of breads by color, because it's easier to tell what people are talking about.
  For example, garlic bread for me would mean dark bread, because that's how it usually is here - but apparently for Americans, it's usually white bread. Which actually kinda sounds better than what we get.
  I guess what I'm saying is that there's tons of great breads out there, but English makes it difficult to know what someone is talking about, because most of y'all are eating sai (white bread), not leib (darker breads), but using the word that I'd use to describe leib.
  
  Better bread is bested by buttered bread.
- It's okay to be wrong
- That's crazy. Bread is incredible. I'll happy sit and tear pieces off and eat them like an animal. I also like condiments, but plain bread is fantastic if it's good bread.
- You've never bitten into a fresh, still-warm loaf of homemade sourdough just a few minutes out of the oven, have you...
  Truely good bread can be eaten completely alone and taste amazing.
  
  There's a mom and pop shop here that makes sourdough rounds on the weekends.
  There is always a line, they always sell out. It's one of those things where if you want one, you have to get there, and get in line an hour or so before they open. Otherwise you're SOL.
  They are absolutely wonderful rounds. Just perfect.
  
  Why waste my time when I can slather it with something delicious?
- Try fresh baked bread right out of the oven. I swear whenever my bread machine finishes, I get through the first third of the loaf within the first half hour and then take most of the week to finish the rest.
  
  I've been trying real hard not to spend money on a bread machine.
- From someone who eats almost no bread anymore:
  It's the bread.
  You're not going to sit and eat a spoonful of jelly like a fucking goblin, but you might eat a piece of plain bread and be happy about it. Especially if it's a perfectly cooked dinner roll.
  
  You’re not going to sit and eat a spoonful of jelly like a fucking goblin
  Yes I fucking will. I mean it. I do. It's delicious.
  
  you're not gonna eat a spoonful of jelly
  Speak for yourself mangohead
  Down with the tyranny of delicious sweet things being spread on salty bread which ruins their taste. I eat jams and Nutella like they're a dessert.
- Bread is a conveyor of butter.
- Bread, pasta, tortillas, chips, rice, etc. They are all just vehicles for sauce.

Jesus is the bread

I tend to agree… except for US bread. American bread is soft garbage.

Whole grain bread is okay, depending on brand and quality (Ezekial bread is the only good kind I normally have acess to). Any kind that's not whole grain (or good quality whole grain) contributes to diabetes risk. That is not love. That is hurt.
- I also eat cake, red meat, smoked meat, vegetables high in oxalates, various fried foods, and occasionally drink alcohol. Life should not be about eliminating every risky behavior, it should be about fulfillment and weighing risk against probability and payoff. We all die eventually and I want to eat tasty food before I get there.
  
  I recently saw an infographic that showed the risk of death for getting out of bed at 90 years old is the same as the risk of hang gliding. To me, this means you should take up hang gliding when you're 90.
  More seriously, you should take risks to have a full and rewarding life. Those risks can be mitigated. I've ridden motorcycles, but I also wear a helmet and safety gear while doing it.
  
  False dichotomy. I can eat all kinds of delicious foods, even having my health and eating my cake, and the best part is I don't have to perform any mental gymnastics to ignore any guilt or shame about the suffering my diet causes. There's something poetic about the best possible things for me, being the best possible things for all other beings out there. In reality, you just don't know what you're missing.
- You sacrifice and sacrifice, cutting everything out of your habits or diet that may bring you pleasure, only for the sake of extending your life. Then at the end of it all, you look back in dismay, in the dismal realization that despite your years, you have never lived at all...
  
  You're basically saying the same thing the other person who replied to my comment said, so see here. No sacrifice, and your characterization of longevity is an unfounded myth. The pursuit of health doesn't just expand years, it increases quality of life in the here and now. There's a word for it, "healthspan". Pursuing health and longevity leads to greater tasting food, because it involves cutting out all the hyperpalatable bombs of added sugar, fat, and salt that fry your taste buds so much that all you can taste is those kinds of foods. Do you even know what real food tastes like? I can have the pleasure of great food, the ecstasy of intense exercise, and the fulfillment of any other of life's worthwhile joys.
- Switched for whole grain bread for that exact reason, I found out I'm pre-diabetic so my next step after paying attention to my diet will be taking up exercise.
  
  Nice! You might like this channel, they specialize in lifestyle treatment of diabetes, and have a book on the subject as well.
  https://m.youtube.com/@MasteringDiabetes

Low-carb bread is the one true religion.
- BLASPHEMER!
  
  Our Lord and Savior Almond Flour forgives all who humbly accept it into their stomach.
- Do you put low-fat mayonnaise on it?
  
  Nope. I put guacamole and sardines on it. (100% serious here.)

Bread made feeding people cheap. That isn't civilization; that's dominator culture. It's slavery with extra steps. You've all been eating peasant food. Break the cycle.
- Bread made feeding people cheap.
  Bread is a luxury, if feeding people cheap was the only concern, porridge would be a better use of grains than bread. Porridge predominated when peasant culture predominated; bread becomes common with civilization's connections, innovations, and specialization.
  
  So basically people eat porridge when they don’t have access to a mill and oven.
  
  I'm talking of modern day peasants, you know, the 99%. If it's a "luxury", then why pray tell is it served everywhere and dominates the ingredient list of most processed food? A loaf of bread is cheap, but meats, fruits, vegetables are through the roof.
  It was a nice stop gap as things progressed, but now it's a handicap.
- Bread is a whole lot of work to make than say, rice. Bread isn't cheap, it's only cheap because some of the ingredient might've been subsidised in one way or another, to make sure the country isn't starving. It's popular among us peasant because it could last, it's one of the most versatile ingredient available, and it's filling.