Jeff Bezo is now cosplaying as a working class man.

Same vibes:

I have trouble telling what is satire and what isn't.
- I wish this was satire but it’s just weirdly fetishistic propaganda. It’s not even subtle; it’s pathetic.
- I was thinking that arm was complete fiction, but apparently ole Jeffro had been working out.
  
  It's amazing what you can accomplish with TRT and a personal trainer who is at your beck and call 24/7/365.
- I know. Is that thing really his fiance? She looks like she just crawled out of the uncanny valley.
  The sad thing is I bet she was pretty before all the work was done
  
  That's actually a good photo of her. It's been hand retouched, I'm sure.

Tony Stark titan of industry
Ooh, that’s going to get under Elon’s skin. I wonder if he’ll challenge Jeff to a cage match for the Tony Stark-wannabe title…
- They're both far too socially oblivious to be Tony Stark.
  
  Not sure Tony Stark embodies social consciousness to me but he’s definitely too self deprecating for either of these two to win the title
  
  They're more like Tony Stank.
- Can we just put the lot of them in the Thunderdome yet?
  
  Bring back Celebrity Deathmatch for realsies.
- Nah this time I bet it'll be jousting
  
  Penis jousting.
- Tbf I would definitely see Musk winning that by sole virtue of him being 15 years younger and having more body mass than bezos
- https://youtube.com/watch?v=h-lFC03LwCQ

Can’t really midlife crisis harder than this
- Dude is living a latent adolescence.
  
  Bro just hit puberty
- I mean he didn't buy Twitter.
  
  Yet

Does using botox make you look like every other woman who uses botox or do only woman who look a certain way use botox?
- Yes.
- https://youtu.be/pznB7WP4P1o?t=201
- Might be the toupee fallacy
- It’s less the lack of expression but more the predilection to some sort of peanut allergy that these women most strikingly share.
- woah

I don't know what else to say but I am exhausted with stupid rich people being in my life. I think the French were on to something....
- Fuck the media for glorifying them.
- Let us eat cake!

All that money and he chooses to turn himself into this instead of a cat girl. Billionaires are idiots.
- Would you respect Jef Bezos more if he was a catgirl?
  
  Only if he said stuff like
  “Do you respect me more meow that I’m like this?”
  
  Honestly? Yeah, kinda. I could respect that level of petty.
  “You fucking nerds buying catgirl stuff off of my website! Well, now I’m a catgirl, so you’re directly thinking of me when you buy it, loser!”
  At least he wouldn’t be pretending to be relatable.
  
  No, but at least he wouldn't be an idiot
  
  ...Yes
- Ya because being a cat girl is so cool!! /s
  Don’t get be wrong I hate this idiot but what the fuck are you even saying?
  
  It's just a stupid joke, if you don't enjoy it that's fine but please don't be rude.

content warning that shit.
Almost threw up in my mouth a bit.
- I think I did a little bit

Did vogue really post this?
- Yeah. It's gross. Broke the link to prevent accidental click traffic.
  hxxps://www.vogue./c/o/m/article/lauren-sanchez-december-2023-interview-profile
  
  Here is the archived link if anyone wants to read it without giving Vogue traffic https://archive.ph/3Qb2R
- Meanwhile Teen Vogue:
  
  Makes sense. Uncle Karl is usually trendy with young adults, but its reaching the post-WTC Attacks era in the early-mid 2000s again, so there's a lot of media outlets jumping on with "10 things" and "All you need to know" articles.
  It's funny. My father remembers the same thing during periods in the 70s and 80s where everyone was reading Communist Manifesto, Atlas Shrugged, Animal Farm, The State of Revolution, etc. Seems to be when a young generation somewhere are unhappy with the way things are going and looking for alternatives. It's excellent because it breaks the mould and reminds people that they have power and can influence change, liberty, and direction. It encourages people to consider things they did not know were options.

What is happening with his girl's face ? is she AI-generated
- The usual too much sub-par plastic surgery, or maybe she actually wanted to look like that...
  
  She wanted to look like a grouper?
- Yes. How can you sit and turn 180 on only your waist. This is just a joke.
  
  She is a robot designed by owls.
  
  Right, the whole stance feels off... not just her face
  
  By back hurts thinking about it!
- Unfortunately she looks like that. I do not know what she does behind doors...or if is true love. But it must be really good because if I am rich like him... I am not staying with her 😂

What a terrible day to have eyes.
- Have some eyebleach!
  
  need stronger eyebleach.

I don't know, maybe he's a big fan of the Barbie movie (now available on streaming on Amazon Prime videos) and is cosplaying as the Patriarchy. Not even a Ken, but like, the literal personification of the Patriarchy.
Cowboy and cowgirl costumes are fun to wear, but they are just that, costumes. The only acceptable reasons to pretend to be someone you're not on camera is either you get paid for it as your job, or if it is really, really funny.
- I assure you, it might be a costume, but dressing up as a cowboy definitely sells more beef.
  Source: sell meat from my farm. City folk like to buy beef from a guy wearing a large hat.
  Hats aside, the button up Western shirt and jeans just look sharp as hell if you look like you belong in them, I wear them all the time
  
  I'ma need a 3lb ground beef quote right quick. Don't fuckin make me livestock vibe check you.
- (now available on streaming on Amazon Prime videos)
  You forgot the trademark. This will be docked from your stipend.
  John Vidzprime Amazon VP of prime mp4
- I didn't hope to ever defend Bezos ever, but people can put on whatever hat they want without a reason.
  
  It's not just the hat. It's posing in a vintage American pickup truck with the American West in the background. It's a persona that has no correlation to this man and has been used for decades as a marketing ploy to sell cigarettes and other garbage so I'm immediately suspect and judgy.
  
  of course, and everyone is free to have some glamour shots taken of them just for funsies, regardless of what they're wearing. What puzzles me though is why vogue is posting this
- He is not an idiot. He's seen Trump, and knows that "trashy rich" sells. 100% will run for President, if not this term then next.
- U.. uhhh username checks out?
  
  Yeah...
  Username...

There is a lot of shit talking going on in this thread, and I support all of it. BUT, I do want to give ol' Jeffy some props for dating someone his own age.
- Ya know, you have a point. Props to him for not dating a tween like most billionaires
  
  But if I become a billionaire, young girls adding up to my age is okay, right?

He looks like a chode in that stupid hat.

wtf is wrong with her face?
- Face settings
  Eyes
  Eyebrows
  Nose
  Lips
  <----------|>
  Chin
  Jaw
  [Cancel] [Confirm]
- too much plastic surgery, for a guess. looks like her lips are overinflated.
  
  I know the look he was hoping for but I bet it ends up looking like a toothpick flying into the center of a bagel.

Why is it always cowboy and flannels to make them look ‘working class.’
- Because they don’t know what the working class looks like, they just rewatch 80/90s man propaganda and emulate that

Isn't this like cultural appropriation or some shit?

Good luck! The fate of Jumanji is in your hands.

"Lauren has amazing intuition" says Bezos.
Yeah I bet she fucking does Jeffrey, I bet she does....

- She does give great head.

He could have almost any woman he wanted thanks to his wallet, and chose that.
Also, bullshit he’s that beefy.
- He's been doing nothing but roids the last few years, the transformation has been pretty crazy.
  
  At least he doesn’t have to worry about the side effects. Odds are good that he already has shrivel dick and an anger problem lol.
- The wife he cheated on was way prettier. I don't know what this dude was thinking.
- Why wouldnt he be? He's got money, time, medically allocated testosterone, and personal trainers and chefs.
  Once you have all of that it's just dedication to putting the work in, if the average gym bro can muster it I'm sure he's capable.
- He could have almost any woman he wanted thanks to his wallet
  Perhaps what he wanted wasn't a whore
  
  Bold of you to assume she isn’t a whore

He's not a Tony Stark titan of industry. He's a Lex Luthor titan of industry.
- Not Lex Luthor, but... https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1977807-jeff-bezos

Chat is this real

lmao, she looks like someone is stretching her face
- As someone who has a wife that watches those terrible house wives of... shows it's absolutely sad how they all have all the money anyone could ask for yet do these absolutely horrific botched jobs to themselves and somehow think they look better this way. I have come to 2 possible reasons, 1. Nobody is willing to actually tell them just how awful they look now, or 2. Everyone at that level does actually believe this looks better, but only because it's a status thing? I guess a possible 3rd would be that so many people they surround themselves with look like this so they all believe this is what true beauty is?
  It's just crazy to me that anyone would go through all this effort to modify themselves so badly AND pay a ton of money and time to do so. 99% of the time the before always looked wayyyy better.
  
  I don’t really know about everywhere else but the places I’ve been stateside, even in some really more underserved areas, there seems to be a really weird cult of money, status symbols (including people) and masks. It’s terribly hmm, dare I say “plasticine.”. Shakespearean, even.

I still remember that tweet someone did about slapping him so hard it would sound like a screenshot.

"Tony Stark" lol

Cringe.jpg

It seems like he's using Bill Gate's playbook. Elon Mu'sk could learn something from them. Same with Larry Elli'son.
- Not quite. Bill went big on the philanthropy angle to sell his "likable geek" image and bury his cutthroat businessman past.
  Jeff is more on the midlife crisis egotrip with the space-dick measuring contest, the biggest yacht competition, and personal trainers to become buffed middle-aged billionaires track.
  
  and personal trainers to become buffed middle-aged billionaires track.
  Yeah no that's a drug cocktail. I'm sure he's got a PT but his gainz aren't via that route.
  
  Whoosh.

Is this Midjourney generated?

That's a terrible AI generated picture. Why do people have to keep doing this? Stop it
- I don't think it's ai, I think it's really horribly photoshopped.
- Its a legit photoshoot by Vogue
  If the image looks awful, its only because these magazines have functionally laid off the bulk of the staff that make their images look decent. The old armies of makeup artists and camera crews and copy editors are replaced by shitty software and a few overworked unpaid interns. Shoving raw digital photography through some dollar store Face Tune software is the best the World's Richest Man gets when he's preening with his newest trophy wife.

They really deserve each other.

"You don't have to be lonely, at FarmersOnly.com!"

Why did you see this and think "that'll fit into the lemmy I want to be part of" instead of allowing it to languish somewhere I'd never have had to see it?
Keep doing you op, I guess the community agreed with you.
- You realize the community you're in, right?
  What else did you expect to be here? Linux memes?

Funniest part of this is his wife likely has a decent EQ and he's literally floored by it. A concept beyond the abilities of his comprehension.
- EQ?
  
  It's like IQ but for emotional comprehension of other people's situations and feelings.
  
  Emotional quotient
  
  Solid subs, warm if a little boxy in the mid-bass, a slight dip in the mids and a tasteful rolloff in the highs after a slight peak around 6KHz.
  
  Emotional quotient or emotional intelligence
- Big if true, I just don't know if it really is, though.

That lady(?) Has a really wide face.
- That’s Steven Tyler from Aerosmith.
  
  That's it! I was trying to figure out what the stretched botox face and lip filler combo reminded me of. Besides wine and opioid cocktails.

this is "setting up a run for president" bezos
and this is also straight from putin's playbook

🤮
- My immediate impulse.

Is this a lost Bogdanoff sister?
- https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/_img/chars/boris-rocky-and-bullwinkle-59.4.jpg

Looks like hes dating Caitlyn Jenner now
- Let's not get into it like that. There's plenty else to comment on here.
  
  Because she looks more like that fucked up repaint of Jesus that lady did... Right?
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Attempted_restoration_of_Ecce_Homo.jpg#mw-jump-to-license
  He's the richest dude on the planet he can afford to fix her botched fucking surgeries.
  
  I prefer the bicep debate... Did that get photoshopped, or did he do that thing where you twist your arm meat a little before resting it on the edge of the seat so the skin from the back of your arm makes a fleshy bicep shape as long as you dont move?

Midlife crisis?

Tony ~~Stark~~ Bark has entered the chat.

His wife's mouth looks like a baboon's asshole that farted so many times it deflated. You can't make toast but you could certainly warm bread in that thing.
- Just don’t stick your dick in it. You’ll catch something.
  
  Possibly came from him.
  
  oh noes, can't insult any wimmens

what id give to crowbar his dumb dr evil face

Billionaires really need to take a cue from Ty Warner (the Beanie Babies mogul and still pretty contemptible) and stay the fuck off social media.
You don't get to be sympathizable once your extreme gains are assuredly ill-gotten. You get to hide in your mansion, swim in your lucre like Scrooge McDuck, and have your marketing team filter and massage your outgoing public announcements.

I also would write this garbage if I got paid by Bozo like Vogue.

Carter Pewterschmidt did it first

She sees things that other people don't see.
Like Jess Bezos' penis.

His rockets don't really go to space.

Come to my worksite Jeff. We'll toughen up those soft hands in a week.
- He'll be on a sickie for days 3/4/5 to recover from the first 2, it'll take 2-3 weeks minimum.