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over_clox @lemmy.world

6mo ago

What are some silly ways to say you gotta go poop?

I might say something like "Oof, gravity is kicking in, I gotta go have a seat..."

175 comments

someone's faxing me a snickers
- That joke shows your age, how many gen z'ers would give an odd look? 😂
  
  I'm 40, and wouldn't know what he meant BECAUSE I know what a fax machine is, and how it's used.
- Lol

Dropping the kids at the pool.
- Take the Browns to the Superbowl
  
  Clevelander here.........god damnit. I can't even argue that joke until we get rid of the rapist.
- Skate park if there's no water.

In our language "sitting" is a synonym of "meeting". So in the office setting, I always say "I have an important sitting coming up".
- What language?
  
  Pretty sure he's German (https://translate.google.com/?hl=de&sl=de&tl=en&text=Sitzung&op=translate).
  
  I'm not daddy32, but this halfway works in English haha!
  
  German
  
  In German we say Sitzung or Geschäft.

Honk out a dirt snake
- Heh

"Gotta use the sandbox"
- Found the cat.

Lay a sewer pickle

"I gotta go do some paper work" or "I need to get something down on paper" are my two go-tos
- Hope everything comes out alright!
  
  Dad?

I've got shit to do

"I need to poo-poo in the pot-tay"

- In Australia, we call it "turtle necking". The visual is worse.
- This question caused a fight in my house. Someone kept trying to say "Brown trout poking out" and i insisted that doesn't mean poop, it means prairie dog, which i didn't even know what a thing until a 12 year old kid said those 2 phrases to me.

I need to go 3D print something.
- Definitely heat up your bed before you start extruding.
  
  Hell yeah. I've a Toto Washlet with a heated seat. That thing is quite comfortable while priming your nozzle.

"I'm sitting on a cigar"
- LMFAO! 😂🤣
  Not exactly related, but I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this...
  https://youtube.com/watch?v=yjdciA8LNQ4

I gotta drop the Browns off at the Superbowl.

i say “gotta go log out”
i do freelance work with technology, and the clients think i am going to do something work related and technical.

I'm gonna try and lose some weight
- It's been 5 hours, were you successful?

I'm gonna run for the White House
- Gotta make a 45
  
  Dammit, I trumped my pants
- Gotta bomb the oval office.

The chocolate bus honks.

Gotta paint the town brown
Gotta curl one out
Gotta pinch a loaf
- I gotta go make some clay.. 💩
  Shit, this toilet ain't gonna make itself!

- If your poop is fuzzy, you should see a doctor....or an exorcist.

- You use your own anus? That's filthy yo!
  😂🤣
  
  I only shit in other people's pants.

My favorite is, "boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. I'll be back in awhile."
- I do believe you'll enjoy this tune...
  https://youtube.com/watch?v=7zTei5RMhQ8

Gotta make a deposit at the porcelain ATM.

I'm gonna go drop the kids off at the pool

Gotta make room for dinner

I find myself quoting a line from Farscape a lot:
Must...Excrete...

"Gotta see a man about a dog."
Had a coworker that would go the the bathroom and sit in there for 10 to 15 so I started calling it a "Tony ten-er."
- My ex boss used to say he was going to use the library whenever he had to shit. Don't know why.
  
  I take it your boss was Gen X or older?
  In the pre cell phone era, it was common for bathrooms to contain various magazines or books.
  
  I didn't think I was old. Now I do.

Not exactly an answer to your question but hey what a coincidence
- Nice LOL!

"I'll be right back, gotta check if the bathroom still works"

A silly Dutch one is saying you got a fax from Darmstad, which is a city in Germany but also Darm=intestines and Stad=city.

Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
(the cleveland browns are an american football team)
- Art? Art Model???
  leads the charge of Clevelanders with pitchforks and torches

Gotta drop the kids off at the pool
- I went through a phase where I couldn't not giggle at this.
  It started 30 years ago and has yet to stop; the giggling I mean.
  
  You've been giggling straight for 30 years?

"Gotta go read The Hobbit" after my dad claimed he could do it in one 'sitting'.

In Dutch or Flemish at least we say: Ik moet een grote boodschap doen.
Which is a literal translation for: I have to make a big message.

I need to pinch a loaf.

Gotta work my shift at the fudge factory.
- There's a fake (i think) town in Missouri called Uranus. When you drive past it there's a billboard for Uranus Fudge Factory. They have a website, gift shop, etc.
  
  I want this to be true, so I’m not checking.

Time to go take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
- As a Clevelander I can’t wait for this saying to die.
  
  What's the deal with Cleveland? Y'all also have the steamers

There's a rumble in the Bronx
There's big trouble in little China
The spice must flow

I quote cars.

If I have to pee I'll say "I have to pee" if I have to shit I say "I have to go to the bathroom"
- I usually just say I gotta go to the poo room. But hey, if you wanna bathe in it, I won't stop you.

Gotta send teal'c through the stargate.

"Gotta sit on my thinking chair for a bit" or "lemme go listen to my own shit for a while"
Usually in dutch tho, "ff op de denkstoel zitten" or "even naar m'n eigen gezijk luisteren"

“Drop a grumpy”
– Johnny Depp testifying against Amber Heard
Edit: https://youtu.be/O95wvE-9XJg?si=rk6_raHl-lMeyX6l

For when I have to take a piss I like to say "I'll have to take a trip to the drinks return"
Works a bit better in German because of our bottle return system

I tell my wife I have to go blast a dookie.
It’s a Simpson reference.
- i was looking for this quote in the thread haha. “Duke on!”

Not pooping, but whenever i have gas, I say I ate a kitten. Not many people get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjRO6BQFMw
- Nope. Silent but messy..
- I blame barking spiders
  
  Stepping on a slug

Evicting a slug
- Lol somehow that one is more nasty than others

Hard insider, "Doing an Olli". We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.

I need to practice the tuba.

Gotta run, I'm groundhogging!

I sometimes say that I have to powder my nose.
- I thought that was cocaine use...
  
  Suddenly all those inexplicable interventions make sense to OP.

Two of my favourites are:
I'm touching cloth.
Dropping the kids off at the pool.

Sorry im late for the meeting folks. I just took a massive bio break.
- Where do you people take your excrement?
  I tend to leave mine. Sometimes I even flush them..

Instant weight loss plan.

I have to turn a bolus

I'm gonna knit a brown sweater. If you guess what I'm gonna do, I'll let you have half of it.

175 comments