Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/SnooTangerines1400 on 2023-07-27 15:06:29+00:00. *** I 22 f am pregnant with my first child and had just got into a fight with my parent. We brought the topic of their bf up who is getting out of jail soon. They have warned me repeatedly since we started staying here that I need to take anything he throws at me and not speak back. Their bf is known to say what’s on his mind and is rude. For example the first week I knew him he was mad I dressed like a “slut” and said he would not go out with me dressed like that. My “slut” outfit was a pair of shorts, fishnets, black boots, and a crop top. He always comments on how me and siblings dress and it’s always sexual like we’re showing to much keep in mind I’m an adult and I hardly knew this man. Ever since that day he’s disgusted me because my body should not be looked at like that or a frequent topic on my mind. My own father never would say those time and encourages me to dress how I want. Yesterday I overheard his phone call. He said me and my boyfriend will never move out and my parent will be left taking care of us and my child. That my parent shouldn’t come crying to him When I can’t pay my rent and need money from them. today I told my parent I wasn’t going to put up with his pervert comments when he gets out and it didn’t matter anyways because I will be in my new apartment just two weeks after he is out. They then yelled at me and said I was being over dramatic about that one time he called me a slut even though that was not the only time he’s made those comments. I said what if your bf makes those comments about how I dress my child. My parent then said don’t dress your child like that. I said I will dress my child as I please and if he makes sexual comments about my child he will not be around them again. My parent started screaming at me saying I was being an awful parent for weaponizing my kid over people. That all they have heard from me is every time someone says something I don’t like I weaponize my unborn child against them. They are referring to her ex threatening my bf, kicking us out, and then raising a fist to my bf a few weeks ago who I have now cut out of my life and will for very good reasons will not be near my child after that awful day. every other person in my life is fine because none of them have done disgusting things to me. My parent then told me i was wrong for saying that to them and that I need to grow up and stop getting butthurt over what other people say because I’m an adult and I’d be a horrible parent to weaponize my child like that every time someone says something I don’t like to me. I don’t think I’m in the wrong here but my parent said at the end of the screaming match that maybe they shouldn’t be around my child either and that hurt a lot because this is their grandchild, so am I the asshole for what I said? Am I overreacting?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Present3212 on 2023-07-27 15:04:29+00:00. *** my dad was adopted. my grandparents also have a bio son, my uncle, who my grandma very clearly favors. my grandpa is good though he never shows any favoritism but my grandma is super annoying.

my dad says it doesn't bother him but it's very clear that it does bother him when my grandma tells people she has one "real" son and one adoptive son.

my grandma recently got sick and is bed-bound (is that the word?). my grandpa needed help caring for her and guess who was NOT willing to help? yes my grandma's golden son. so my dad and I moved in with them so dad could help him. I wasn't happy with it but I didn't get a choice.

yesterday my grandpa was at work and dad needed to leave for an emergency so it was only me and grandma. I made some dinner for myself and grandma said she is hungry and asked me if I could give her something to eat. I told her that since I'm not her real grandchild she can't expect anything from me. maybe she could call her real child to bring her something but oh wait he doesn't give a shit

my grandparents now think I'm an asshole but it's not like I starved her. dad came back in 2 hours so she would be fine

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/RubyRedFoxyEyes on 2023-07-27 12:55:09+00:00. *** My family and I were visiting relatives. My sister (6y/o) and I have been playing with my cousin (8m/o) when our mother joined us. We played for a while. Then my mother fetched herself a glass of water to drink. My little sis saw this and asked if she could also get something to drink. I was in the motion of standing up to get her her water bottle and said “I’ll bring you your bottle”. But she stopped me and told me that she wanted to drink water out of a glass. I answered “ok, sure. I’ll go get it.”It was my mother who stopped me this time and gave my sister her glass instead. Saying there is no need to dirty more dishes than necessary. Then I randomly remembered that my mom has lip Herpes. When I was a child my mother would occasionally get these wounds on and around her lips. She’d always put toothpaste on them. When I asked her she said “that’s just Herpes.” Which made me really confused back then because I did not know that you can get herpes on the lips as well. So I went to the internet and researched it. And that’s were I found out that people who have lip herpes should not share their drinks with others, since that could be enough to infect another person. So, out of the blue, I stated “ You know, I read that’s not a good Idea to let her drink from your glass.” She asked “why’s that?” I answered “Don’t you know that people with herpes shouldn’t share a drink with others? ‘Cuz of risk of infection?” She “Oh. No there is only a risk when I got these wounds. It’s perfectly fine now.” Me “You sure? I read it multiple times on different sites.”She “What are you saying? I am not allowed to kiss or touch my children? Are you forbidding me coming near my child?”Me “No, that’s not what I meant. I just read it online.”The conversation drifted then to another topic. But I wasn’t sure anymore if I remembered my “research” correctly. And since she is a trained nurse, I might’ve been in the wrong. So I went on a googling stampede again to see who was in the wrong. And, again, I found multiple different sites who said it is not a good Idea to drink from the same glass. I was a bit angry and frustrated at the fact how she accused me for telling her “she should stay away from us”. So I decided to be a petty. I made screenshots of two different websites, higlhighted the important parts and send it to her with the caption “told you so”. She replied with “thanks for the info”. Couple of days later, when it was time to drive back home, she brought it up again. “Stop searching for drama and stop disrespecting me. Just like with the herpes thing. Sending me those screenshots. Do you think I am stupid?” When we got home she brought the it up again. Saying to never disrespect her like that again. I agree I should not have brought it up in the first place. I don’t even know why I did. And it certainly wasn’t meant in a disrespectful manner. But I don’t get it why she reacts that way. I am 19 btw. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Atwillim on 2023-07-27 12:17:48+00:00. *** A little about me - I'm a 2nd grade business administration and management student at a university. I am relatively shy and mostly keep to myself. However we do a lot of group projects and presentations - which was quite a stress factor for me before starting my studies, because I always find these situations, when you have to split yourself into groups really awkward, I'm afraid of rejection and don't really know how to approach people. Thing is I got really lucky, because the first group project in economics class had randomized groups and it was me and 3 other guys. We fit really well together and kept the same group for the following and next year. We occasionally had a 5th and 6th person when class demanded it, but always had kept our core. It was a big relief for me, because I no longer had to worry about getting left out or joining someone I'm not compatible with.

One of the guys from our "core" is Jake (M,22) and we becoming quite good friends and would often hang out between lectures or go eat together when there was a 2 hour window due to imperfect scheduling. However lately he was ignoring me after an incident in a class.

Me and my Jake were sitting in the class and as the lecturer described some geometry concept, he leaned over to me and said something funny, a play of words related to the current topic and I thought it was funny so I repeated it, not it in a "Hey everyone check this out" way, but like guys do, to pump each other up. You know one person says something and another repeats it and you both get a giggle.

However what happened was that people around us heard it and they immediately burst into laughter. Even lecturer overheard it and I could see her smiling. It was completely unintentional. It felt really good to me, because now people were smiling and looking at me. I just went with it and laughed and looked at Jake, wanting to compliment him and he had a weird look on his face. He was looking at me like "WTF BRO" and I just shrugged. Like what could I possibly do in this situation?

After the class ended it feels like our relationship changed. I am not usually the most outgoing guy, but it seemed like that joke made people look at me a different way and I receive more smiles and nods as I walk in the hallways or sit down in class. I honestly feel more confident and outgoing. Jake meanwhile barely speaks to me. I tried to talk to him, but he told me that it was his joke and I should have given him credit, but how was I supposed to do it? I told him that's it's not a big deal and he said I am TA.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/W1lly_W4ker on 2023-07-27 12:13:45+00:00. *** My parents divorced when I was young and lived with my mum permanently whilst dad was away on deployments. Being 1 of 4 children on my mums side, we constantly bullied each other but became stronger because of it.

Later, it was soon to be dad's 50th birthday and I wanted to get him something that I thought was funny. I (17m at the time), was and still dad's only son but dad always disliked my humour because I remind him of my mum. I went into poundland and saw the cheap grave stone (looking back at it now... it was fucked up but that's in the past), I asked mum if she thought it was alright but even though mum hated dad... she said "don't get him that, you'll regret it"... and so I bought it.

It came to his birthday, he opened his presents from all his loved ones and finally came to opening mine... fair to say he was very unimpressed.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bulkyvulky on 2023-07-27 11:16:00+00:00. *** So my girlfriend (f35) and I (f32) recently moved to another country and since the move she has struggled with major depression.

Yesterday we were talking about it and I said that I'm tired of her being depressed, meaning that it has also been hard on me emotionally to try and help her. I didn't mean that she should miraculously stop being depressed, just that it sucks for me too. But no she won't talk to me and I can't seem to get her to understand my view. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/typewriterhoney on 2023-07-27 09:35:08+00:00. *** hi hi!! i got engaged almost 2 months ago and it’s been a such an exciting and happy time.

my fiancé and i got into a little tiff about an engagement party: we had a little celebration after the proposal with our close family and my partner’s best friends who are local. it was perfect and beautiful, hosted at our house with some light snacks and champagne. it was around 15 people. however, i really want to have an actual engagement party to include my best friends who are scattered around the state/country, and more of our close friends and family who weren’t included in the proposal celebration.

i mentioned this to my fiancés family and was shut down from the idea saying that we already had an engagement party after the proposal. my fiancé and i talked about it before and he was completely in agreement with having a more formal and traditional engagement party. but after hearing from his family that they think we shouldn’t do so, he flipped his opinion and said we didn’t need one. i’m upset because i feel like i haven’t been able to celebrate such a huge milestone with my friends, and with a lot of our close friends and family that weren’t in attendance on the day of our proposal. his family mentioned that i should instead go meet up with my friends to celebrate individually rather than throwing the engagement party.

i normally would just go through with the party anyway but i feel like since it’s an engagement party it should be more than just a get together at our house. we were originally hoping my fiancés family would host. if we were to throw it on our own it would be difficult as my fiancé’s finances are largely controlled due to trust fund logistics, so i’m a bit upset that we might not get to have an engagement party.

part of me wants to ignore what they said and ask my parents to help us pay for a party, but i don’t want it to cause any fights for my fiancé to deal with or any uncomfortable feelings for us and our families. our wedding is happening around 2025/2026 so i feel like we should do whatever celebrations we can now since the wedding is so far away. my fiancé is now saying that he will back me up with whatever i choose. but i’m having a hard time feeling okay with either option.

WIBTA for still wanting an engagement party? and AITA for feeling like i’m not getting to celebrate my engagement in a normal way due to what my fiancés family wants?

Edit to add: I was never expecting my in laws to pay. My fiancé and I discussed splitting costs evenly. He has a trust fund where the bulk of his money goes to be invested. He doesn’t get solo control of it until he is either married or 35. So, he had to get written consent from the owner of the trust to take out money that is outside of the normal income that is given quarterly. The owners are obviously his parents. My parents and his parents have already let us know that they decided to split costs for our wedding. Since they are doing that, my fiancé and I decided all extra wedding festivities (bachelor/ette, wedding shower, rehearsal, etc) would come out of our pockets. If my in laws do not sign off on my fiancé using some of his trust money to pay for a potential engagement party, then I would ask my parents to help pay for what I could not cover. They have already offered this. My fiancé hasn’t even asked for any money. There was one conversation about this, my in laws are /not/ dead set on no engagement party, nor are they fussed over this situation. I do not have reason to believe they wouldn’t sign off on my fiancé using his money for this, even if they think the formal engagement party is not necessary. I’m more so worried that I will come off as an AH for continuing on despite their opinions.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/user18661866 on 2023-07-26 20:28:51+00:00. *** Today before I was going to go to shower , my mom asked me if i will eat pancakes if she makes me them - I said maybe and went to the bathroom. It was taking me a while because I had to wash my hair , so after I’ve finished in an hour maybe - she called me and I came to the kitchen. There was one pancake in the pan , one on a plate and batter enough for another one. So she’s like “the one frying is for you” , at that time I was already feeling bad , but still said that I won’t eat it. That’s because I’m full and I don’t want to force myself to choke on food when I’m not hungry.

She’s just pushing me and she goes on with “I even made you hot chocolate” and at that time I thought to myself that this isn’t ending good. I went to kitchen with the plate so that she couldn’t see me and just stood there. I confessed to her that I actually tend to feel not great after having sweet food (which is true lately) , and she kind of yelled at me saying that it doesn’t have any sugar and that’s it’s just banana. I left to go to my room, after a minute she comes to me and asks again why don’t I just eat it, I tell her that I do not want to consume any food because I’m not hungry, she replies that I’m just dieting and counting cals and that’s why my stomach hurts and just leaves .

Similar things happen to me often because I sometimes tend to eat only because the others are eating but that’s really bad in my opinion, and what happens is that when the other person is planning on making or buying some food for both of us they get pissed that right after their question I automatically answer yes (that we can get the food) but after a minute I say no because I really asked myself if my stomach is feeling like it. And the thing is that after they hear “no” they just get pushy and make me guilty just because in their heads we could share.

So am I the asshole that I’d rather make someone sad or pissed rather then making my organs hurt and making me feel physically uncomfortable .

(Maybe this post sounds overreactive but situating like this get problematic sometimes)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowAway45x65s762x on 2023-07-27 16:34:37+00:00. *** Hello all, since days im in a huge fight with my daughter and her mom (her mom and I split up some years ago). For context, my daughter is turning 16 and she wants to get lip fillers (1ml).

I told her no and that she can do things like that when she is 18. So of course she went straight to her mom and she said YES. Surprise, surprise. Now her mom already went ahead and booked an appointment (turns out its very easy to do that). I told her to cancel it and that I do not want my daughter to idolize figures like Karshadians and start modifying her body. Her mom is claiming that I cant tell our daughter what to do with her body and that its a gift from HER and I cant tell her what to gift and what not to gift. Of course my daughter is siding 100% with her mom and is now staying at her place since days...

Am I really in the wrong here??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cupofcinnamoncat on 2023-07-27 16:32:49+00:00. *** Some context: my grandma (89) on my dad's side has been living with us for about three years since she got too old to live alone. My dad is a trained caretaker so we didn't think there would be any issues. There's always been some tension between her and him but recently it has gotten so much worse. Since she started having dementia, the two of them argue every single day and it always ends with one of them crying. My dad is upset because seeing his mother like this is painful and he doesn't know what to do anymore and my grandma is just generally always upset. It's not easy to see them both like this all the time. My mom can't help that much since there is a language barrier between her and my grandma but she adds to the tension by randomly taking sides during fights. There's just always underlying tension at home.

I'm home from uni at the moment so I'm home when my parents are at work to be there for grandma. Recently she's been needing way more help with everything like getting up from the couch and lying down and adjusting her underwear, making her food, reminding her to take her meds. Doesn't sound like much but I'm just so tired of always having to be available for her. When I even just take a shower she will start calling me and being upset that I was gone. When I take longer than a moment to help her lie down she starts calling and telling me she's waiting. Basically she's gotten very demanding and complains all the time. (I'm sure that's normal at her age and with multiple painful conditions but it's just so draining) I'm also scared that one day when I'm with her she'll fall or forget where she is (which keeps happening) and I just won't know what to do. I know she's my grandma but with how the mood is at home and how she's bossing me around a lot...I just wish she could live in a care home.

I feel so bad for thinking this negatively about her and I know she wants to live at home but her staying with us is not doing any good anymore.

My dad is overwhelmed, my mom is exhausted, my grandma is unhappy and I'm so tired of the responsibility.

Maybe this makes me a bad grandchild but idk.

I feel like the solution is obvious so I'm not sure why I'm posting this but i needed to talk about it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WhosThisFeckingGuy on 2023-07-27 16:28:08+00:00. *** My (21M) sister (17F) has this boyfriend who is always around. He acts like he lives here. They've been dating for two years, so he's gotten really comfortable with our family and our house. My little brother (14) is sick right now, and it has been really stressful. When I'm not at school I'm either at the hospital with my 14yo brother or at home watching my 8yo brother. It has been a lot.

This morning I was in the kitchen making food to bring to my parents at the hospital, when who should walk in? My sister's boyfriend. He asked me if I wanted help cooking, and I said no (he doesn't even know how to cook). He then proceeded to just stand there in the kitchen, getting in my way. I asked what he was doing, and he said he was waiting for me to be done. I asked why, and he said he was going to make something.

I told him that maybe he should go to his house and use his kitchen then. He said he wasn't trying to bother me. I said that he is bothering me, and I'm sick of him always being here invading our space. I can't even relax in my own home the rare moments I get to myself because he's always here. He said I wasn't being fair, and that he's scared for my brother too, and I shouldn't take it out on him.

I told him to shut up, that he has no idea what he's talking about and to go home. Then he said it's important to stick together when there's a tragedy. I said yeah, families stick together, but he isn't a member of our family, so let us have a day or two a week to ourselves and leave us alone once in a while. Then he left.

My sister was pissed when she came down twenty minutes later. She said I'm a mean bitter douchebag. She said I had no right to say that to her boyfriend, and he's her guest, so he can come over whenever he wants. I didn't want to fight with her, so I just said fine. Was I really being a douchebag though? Why is this guy always here??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ButterscotchWinter50 on 2023-07-27 16:19:45+00:00. *** Backstory, I (25f) dated a guy in high school/beginning of college, B (25m). I was young and dumb and during that relationship I started to have some feeling towards one of our friends C (25m). So as a young dumb 19 year old, B and I broke up for a week, and I pursued things with C. We had a couple of dates, and kissed, but I ultimately was missing B so I cut things off with C and went back to B. I can't emphasis enough that I was young and dumb

Now, I am engaged to S (24m), we've been together for 6yrs. B & C are also close friends of ours and there are no hard feelings. C over the past 6yrs has hardly been in town because he’s been away at college. But when he is home he will make comments about or to me that have started to get to me. He will take every opportunity to dismiss me, prove me wrong, or make fun of me. Our friend group tends to pick on each other, but his comments have gone too far. In our friend groups’ discord I sometimes complain about work, or I’ll talk about current internet drama and he replies with "well actually" or "why should I care" comments. Or a few times I have asked if anyone would like to play a game, and a minute later he will ask people to do something with him.

About a 2 months ago I was hospitalized with a kidney infection and sepsis, and I have been on daily antibiotics since, so I can’t drink alcohol. C thought it would be funny to start the joke that I'm pregnant and can’t drink. He even said this joke to the mother of one of our other friends. After that, I sent a message saying that it is extremely not okay to joke about a woman being pregnant, it’s not funny, and our friends’ mother actually thought I was. No one responded to my message, instead a few hours later, C asked if anyone wanted to go see a movie.

After this incident, I opened up to one of our friends, J (23m) with my feelings about C. I don't know if he's sexist or misogynistic or if he just has a personal vendetta against me. J consoled me and said he would stick up for me. And things were better for a time, until last night.

We were in VC and I was looking up elopement packages for and I found one I thought was funny and this was the conversation:

Me- "I got it!! We can have an Alaskan Dog Mushing elopement!!"

C-"White woman moment"

B-"what'd you say?"

C-Interrupted me and said "don't worry B, it’s just a white woman moment"

B-"What is?"

Me - sarcastically "oh you know, just everything I say and do, because I am in fact a white woman"

C-"Don't do that, if you don't get the meme then don't respond. You're always trying to make me look sexist. You're always acting "woe is me I'm a woman", just knock it off. If you don't get the meme, don't say anything."

I was too stunned to speak, I think that is the most sexist defense for being not sexist I've ever heard. I've messaged J again about it, and S has heard my rants and is also pissed at C. I guess I am just wondering AITA for trying to get my friends on my side and creating a divide?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cutie-Panda2002 on 2023-07-27 16:17:42+00:00. *** I was recently hooking up with this guy, A, and things started out really good. We spent every day together, enjoying some devils lettuce, and playing video games. Well, I'm a broke college student and have been struggling during this summer with money. I have had just enough money to get a little bit of groceries and that's it. Because of this I couldn't afford my Xbox game pass the month we were talking.

A wanted to play video games and offered to buy my subscription for the month. I told him he didn't have to and that I felt bad since I wouldn't be able to pay him back. He ended up saying it was okay and paid for it.

Things started getting weird. A would take literal hours to show up after saying he was on his way (up to 5 hours), when hanging out he'd leave to buy us dinner and never come back not even telling me he wasn't coming back, and getting very upset when I didn't spend the day with him. Even spam calling me while I was in a movie theater with my sorority sisters (which he knew I was going).

The day I decided to cut him off was the day I realized how dumb I was for keeping A around. He said he'd come over at like 10 am, then when he didn't hours later I invited one of my sisters over to smoke. He showed up at the same time as here, saw me let her in, and left. He was texting me super pissed saying I never actually wanted to hang out with him and basically trying to bribe me into making my sister leave saying he'd buy me food. Side note, I'm definitely on the heavier side and the amount of times he tried to use that bribe felt like he was only doing it cause I'm fat, but it also could have been because I literally couldn't afford anything that wasn't in my house already.

I ended up making it clear I was done with him and blocked A on everything. Now, a month later, he somehow figured out my Cash App and is requesting $25 for that xbox game pass subscription. I was going to pay him back the $16.42 it actually cost once I have the money (I have less than a dollar in my bank account cause again, same struggles). However, my sisters are telling me not to pay him back. I feel they are right but I would feel super shitty not paying him back. So, WIBTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoDrawer1434 on 2023-07-27 16:16:36+00:00. *** My (24m) girlfriend “Gianna” (22f) and I have been together for nine months now. I met her through some mutual friends. She is one of the best people I know. She’s funny, kind, outgoing, and intelligent.

For the past few days, her and I been on a trip with my family. This includes: My parents, my sister and brother-in-law, my aunt and uncle, two of my cousins, and my younger brother, “Kai” (22m). We’re currently at a resort.

Throughout these past few days, I noticed Gianna acting a little strange, she almost seemed like she was… nervous? But I didn’t question it until today…

While her and I were eating lunch, I asked what was going on and why she had been acting so weirdly. She kept avoiding the question until she finally told me.

She revealed that about two years before she met me, she had “thing” with this guy. At first, I was confused as to why she was telling me that and I pointed out that I dated girls before her as well.

Then, she told me that the guy in question was Kai, my brother.

After she told me that, I went completely silent for a moment. Gianna kept begging me to say something.

Ironically while that was happening, Kai happened to walk past and that’s when I fucking lost it.

I got right in his face and asked him why the hell he didn’t tell me that he dated my girlfriend. He looked taken back and a little scared. Gianna tried to get in between us and calm me down. I wasn’t having it, I kept yelling at the both of them. My other family members obviously heard what was going on and they ran out. They didn’t understand what was going on at the time.

Gianna tried defending herself by saying that I dated people in the past too. I told her that it was different because Kai is my brother. I also told her that she should’ve told me the moment we started dating.

Kai kept repeatedly saying that what him and Gianna had was just a fling, nothing serious, and that what her and I have is real. My other family members got in the middle of it and the whole thing was just a mess.

Gianna tried talking to me after everything calmed down but I told her that I needed time and I stormed out of the resort.

This happened two hours ago and since then Gianna and my family have been blowing up my phone. I haven’t replied to any of them. All of my family are on Gianna’s side. I called a few of my friends and they agree with me.

I feel like I could be the asshole because of how I handled it. I probably shouldn’t have made such a big scene.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aliasfakenam3 on 2023-07-27 16:07:09+00:00. *** I (27M) has a friend, Faith (26F), who I’ve been friends for almost 11 years now. Throughout our friendship, I noticed some of Faith’s behavior that kinda bit of annoying (for me at least). But despite of that she’s been a great friend throughout those years that we’ve known each other.

Faith and I have this other friend, Joy (28F), who has a husband, Fred (22M), and been married for four years.

Back in 2021, Joy and Fred had their 1st anniversary and held a small gathering. Faith and I were invited and so were some our other friends. It was a small party with food, alcohol, and karaoke. And as the night progressed, most of the people are either drunk and/or already left, including Faith. I stayed for a while and offered to help clean up a bit. During the clean up, a bunch of topics were opened, and one of the topic was Faith.

Faith is a great singer and most of what people were saying was about that, complementing her singing, but not Fred. He’s quick to point out that Faith’s a bit of annoying, prude, and such a pick me girl. Joy smack Fred’s forearm and laugh. I too laughed, but more of a faked laugh. Then Fred says, “What? It’s true though, that is why I don’t like her that much.” I just ignored it and continued cleaning up.

Due to the pandemic, a lot of us got lost in touch with each other and focused on our busy life, including Faith and I. She an I reconnect 3 months ago because she told me some news.

Now, a week ago, Faith and I made plans together to go to lunch. We talk about a bunch of stuff and one of the topic were about Joy and Fred. Then I remembered what Fred said the night, and I am then contemplating about wether to tell Faith or not. Faith noticed that I wasn’t speaking so she asked if everything is okay. I said yes but also decided to tell her what Fred said. The moment I finished telling her the story I can saw her eyes tearing up, she excused herself and went to the wash room. I felt bad and regretted telling her that.

Last night I received a long message from Joy, basically saying how I was a bad friend and an asshole for bad mouthing her husband to Faith, and was it worth it to ruining 11 years of friendship for some gossip that happened a long time ago. Turns out, Faith confronted Joy and Fred when they went out on a dinner 3 days after we had lunch. And now I felt like an asshole for telling Faith that.

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoTea-NoShade on 2023-07-27 16:06:40+00:00. *** I’m going away for 3/4 days and have asked a friend to cat sit for me. She stayed at mine free for a month whilst moving house so she likes and know them and knows the place it’s not far from hers

She agreed not asked for money and will stay at mine to better commute to work during the time. It’s just feeding and fussing then making sure they’re ok, I’ve never left my cats this long before.

She hasn’t asked for any money, and another friend said it’s ok not to pay as it’s what friends do, but WIBTA to just expect this favour, or should I compensate her for the hassle? Am I overthinking?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Salt7607 on 2023-07-27 16:03:06+00:00. *** Reposting my deleted post from a few minutes ago, rewording my question .

I’m using a throwaway account for this. I (F28) and married to my husband (M33) with whom I’ve recently had a baby with. We have 4 kids in total. My husband is currently off work while I am on maternity leave the baby, and I don’t think I can handle being around him constantly due to his gluttony and greed.

I don’t know if my husband was always this bad but if he was it’s only become very apparent since we’ve been spending 24/7 together.

Every single time I buy food for kids or for the household in general, he immediately gets ‘dibs’. E.g, oreo ice creams were on sale so I bought a 4 pack (I give up my ice cream for one of my kids so I don’t have to buy two boxes). He tells me I should have bought 2 boxes to feed everyone because he immediately gets 2 ice creams to himself. I also purchased a box of crackers for our eldest’s school lunch, he told me he gets dibs because he likes those particular crackers and I should’ve bought two. I get a water from the fridge to drink while I’m breastfeeding our newborn, he’ll drink it all when I’m not looking. I baked a batch of cookies for our kids to eat/take to school and I had to beg him not to eat all 12 so it’s fair on the kids and he said that’s too much of a challenge (jokingly, I guess) and ended up eating 4 in a row the night they were made, then the majority of them the next day. I end up having to make another batch for my kids.

And finally, every single day we have been home together, he has demanded a lunch off DoorDash because he’s ‘starving’ by the time I wake up around 10/11am with the baby. Half of the time I have to pay for these delivered lunches. He will not settle for a sandwich or salad or something basic for lunch, it has to be something fried or a burger combo of some sort.

I can’t take it anymore. I feel ashamed that I’m turned off by the sight of my husband due to what I think is pure gluttony and unfairness to myself and our kids. He’s been trying to make a move on me lately and not a single bit of me wants to be loving to him. WIBTA for telling he’s being a glutton and needs to go get some help to get his eating under control?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Better-Variety-3077 on 2023-07-27 15:58:35+00:00. *** I (30 yo female) and my (29 yo male) boyfriend got a dog last month. He has never had a dog before and wanted to get one for his 30th birthday. He went to get him and paid for him. We share responsibility with taking him potty, training, walks, getting up at night ect. And I even take him to work with me once a week to save on the cost of daycare. I have bought him toys, treats, ect. Since we share so much of the responsibility I call him "our dog" and he will say "no it's my dog, I paid for him and I pay the vet bills and for daycare." I told him it's our dog because I am putting in the dame amount of effort into raising him. But to him because I am not putting as much money into him, it doesn't count. I said maybe I shouldn't help anymore with him. He said he appreciated all I've done but he thought. I was doing that to be nice not to get to call him our dog. So am I the asshole?

TLDR: AITA for refusing to take care of his dog because he is insisting this is his dog not ours even though I have out time, effort,and money into taking care of him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Extra-Whole6039 on 2023-07-27 15:57:45+00:00. *** I have 2 children aged 17M and 14F. I bought a phone for my son when he was 13 however now that he is going to college soon he needs a new one also he told me that some of his classmates have been mocking him about his old phone so I decided to buy a new phone for him and give his old phone to my daughter.

she is not happy about it and threw a tantrum when she found out. I was talking to my friend about this and he thinks I was the asshole

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/angrylemon_6 on 2023-07-27 15:57:12+00:00. *** TL;DR My roommate won’t do her dishes until there’s mold and won’t take her dog out to pee (for the entire day) because she’s “so depressed” but will still go out with friends at night??

My roommate (30F) just got a corgi. We have only been living together for a few months but we joked (KEY WORD JOKED) about getting a dog. I always ended the conversations surrounding it with haha but for real no. I don’t want a dog. We’re just messing. And then she got one.

Now she doesn’t take care of it. She is always in crisis over something and claims she has the type of personality to get really depressed over certain situations (currently situationship problems) and just “not have the energy to do anything”.

I would believe her except that she told me this after putting a full face of makeup on and being all dressed up to go out with friends and dance/drink. She goes in to her room and leaves the dog out with the expectation that whoever is home will completely take over his care when she doesn’t feel like being a parent to him.

Yesterday she was home all day and didn’t take him out once, which in my book is animal abuse. AITA for not wanting to take care of him either and for not believing her when she says she’s “too depressed” to take care of her dog and household chores but can still go out and party at night?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/luckyifwerespeak on 2023-07-27 15:55:40+00:00. *** I(31m) have a 9 year old daughter with my wife(30f) and she has been having a hard time in school. Bullying and such by a handful of other kids. The "leaders" are a young boy and young girl. Not really going to get into that here.

We've taken all the steps to prevent it. Talk to the teachers and principle, we've had meetings with the parents over the other kids. We've had her switch classes etc. None of it seems to work as they will go out of their way to find my daughter. It's crazy to think that from when I was a kid and now schools are still just as useless when it comes to bullying. They'll let something go on for years but once the victim does something back they start the punishment.

I grew up in the rough inner city area and developed a way with words there. You wouldn't survive a lunch table without being able to riff, roast, and insult someone endlessly. I can see a person/thing/show/movie etc and just start riffing jokes about it, it's just in my blood at this point from kindergarten to high school. My daughter was telling me about things that happened at school and me being fed up that there is nothing we can do. I gave her things to call them and say about them that I won't post here but nothing crazy. Think making fun of someone's big head or bad outfit.

Well I guess it worked TOO well because she had the group of kids crying. And the school contacted me about it. Now I'm not here to go in on school policy and their weak way of handling bullying and punishing victims. My wife understands why I did it, but is upset. My parents are livid about it and saying I'm teaching her to be bad and that I'm as asshole for doing this. My wife thinks I should have told her about this before I jumped the gun and just decided to do it. My parents think it was wrong all together and I'm an asshole. My inlaws think it is hilarious.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/stribalibalib on 2023-07-27 15:54:23+00:00. *** Last night l, my husband and I had concert tickets to see two bands we’ve been wanting to see. The tickets were part of his bday present from May and the show was last night. Originally, we were going to let our boys (15 and 6) stay home with the 15 year old in charge. He watches his brother occasionally for typically small amounts of time, usually an hour or two. We always ask him and compensate him before anybody starts claiming parentification.

Lately, 6 and 15 haven’t been getting a long super great. Pretty normal sibling bickering after extended periods of time. 6 wants to play, 15 wants his space. Nothing major, but we knew the concert would go late and it would be the longest 15 was in charge, so we decided to ask my mom to babysit. She lives about 15 minutes away and had no problem saying the boys could come stay with her.

My mom has to be at work at 7am, so I said I’d be there at 6:30 or could meet her at work, which is pretty much right in between our houses. She said to enjoy ourselves (we don’t go out much without the kids) and to just pick them up when we woke up; they’d be fine for a bit by themselves. I agreed because they would be fine for a bit and our dog eats at 7 and will promptly let you know that you’re late at 7:01.

I got up at 7, fed the dog, walked him, and caught the second half of the Nigeria-Australia would cup game while sipping a cup of coffee (this is where I probably messed up as I could have gotten to her house earlier, but chose to ease into the day after a late night).

I arrived at my mom’s at 9:15 to find 6 awake and 15 still asleep. 6 said grandma had put the code to the iPad in and he’d just been hanging out since she left for work and he was hungry. I woke up 15, took them home, fed them, and asked 15 if grandma had tried to wake him up. He said he didn’t think so. 6 also said she hadn’t. I was flummoxed because 6 had basically been on his own for the last 3 hours. He uses the iPad for playing games and doesn’t know how to use it for communication.

I texted my mom and asked if she’d tried to wake 15 up thinking there was no way she just left for work knowing 6 was up and 15 wasn’t. She said hadn’t and asked if anything was wrong. Luckily, there wasn’t any type of emergency, but I feel like she should have roused 15 before leaving since our agreement was that they would be fine for an hour or two before I got there, not that 6 would be left to his own devices. I haven’t said anything yet because I’m not sure how to phrase it and would rather let myself cool off before I do so I don’t say anything mean, but I’m not sure I want her babysitting anymore. WIBTA if I don’t let her watch my kids again?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TheUrbanisedZombie on 2023-07-27 15:53:35+00:00. *** A few weeks ago while taking out the bins I got flagged by the new neighbour who lives in a one floor house at the side of ours. Normally our recycling bins are kept behind the side gate at the back until the day before. To take them out we take them up our path at the side of the house, then around our black / trash bin over the grass (owned by the council, not us or neighbour)

Map: i.imgur. com/DHZzY8a.png

Our new ish neighbour tapped on the window, said her dog was barrking because of me and asked if I would take them over the grass if she planted stuff there. And I said no, and she then explained she was planning on planting stuff there and didn't want it trampling. Then offered to cut the rose bush in the corner because it blocked us. Fair enough.

Yesterday I took my bin out again. Nothing has been planted or done yet. It was a wet day and I took the bins around the grass like I usually do. Neighbour bangs on glass, starts swearing at me like "I fucking asked you not to go over my grass, I cut the bush back, so move your fucking bin" no warning, just attitude. Tried explaining that I would avoid trampling anything she planted, she wouldn't listen, just got irate. I was actually going to warn her that the council owned the grass and were likely to mow over anything she planted but she didn't take any notice and just got off. Then to add to it she said "you're staring into a woman's bedroom window" like I'm some fucking peeping tom. Sometimes her dog is in the window and I notice when I walk past while mowing the grass eyc but that's it lol, not something I do intentionally

Kinda displaced my mindset for some reason and I don't know why. Couldn't get a word in and just got nasty attitude.

AITA or is my neighbour potentially a little off? If she plants stuff I don't intend to trample it so I don't know what the attitude is for.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwra_centepede on 2023-07-27 15:51:56+00:00. *** My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. She’s had a traumatic upbringing, and has taken this time to really feel everything and try to heal.

In her efforts to do so, she drinks every day that I’ve known her. Very rarely will she not drink. Most of the time it’s only 1-2 cocktails. But it’s every night. And sometimes she will have more and get drunk during the week.

I tried to point out that the frequency of it is a bit concerning, and she just said “I work over 50 hours a week. I’m exhausted. I should be allowed to relax after work”

Then she started to get into medication. She went through 3 doctors to get them to prescribe her ADHD meds. And she takes too much. She will take the prescribed amount, and a bit of another pill throughout the day. She also drinks on her anxiety meds. Which isint too frequent.

Anyways, one day, she was really just getting to me. And I called her an alcoholic. She said to me “You do K, and drink, and party too. Why are you being a hypocrite ?”

Yes I do partake in party favors, but it’s a few times a month. And I only drink on the weekends. Not every say.

Am I wrong for calling her that?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StructureOne7655 on 2023-07-27 15:42:21+00:00. *** My(29F) boyfriend(39M) has this habit of commentating during movies at home and now out in public. He did it again today when watching a video on his phone. The last time it was during the movie Oppenheimer. When the countdown for detonating was going on he started counting down out loud with the guy in the movie. I elbowed him so he’d shut up. In my opinion it’s annoying and distracting to others around you. The time before that was at The Sound of Freedom. He would say stuff like “that’s fucked up” etc. Today when watching the video on his phone he says out loud while laughing, “Oh wow this guy just ran into the wall!”. I get he can be excited or what not but I just find it obnoxious. I brought it up to him and he asked “Why does it matter?” . He had an attitude of not caring what people think which is healthy to a degree but am I wrong for thinking it a bit strange to commentate?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DifferenceNice3636 on 2023-07-27 15:41:01+00:00. *** We moved to our current neighborhood a few years ago. Our next door neighbors had some issues with an overloaded driveway and a derelict vehicle, but it was just a quirk that we were totally willing to overlook. Our neighborhood is comfy, but far from high-end. It's also more important to us to maintain good relationships in our neighborhood than nitpick about our neighbors' properties.

Our neighbors are kind people. They are a young family with a little one and a second one on the way. We also learned that the husband has ADHD which leads him to taking on a lot of projects he doesn’t finish. He has acknowledged that his front yard doesn’t look great and says he is working on cleaning it up.

Over the past year the problem has gotten much worse. He has moved numerous things out of his garage a on to the driveway – tool boxes, appliances, non-working vehicles, a makeshift work bench, and other trash. He said he was rearranging things to make a man cave in his garage. It has encroached over the sidewalk and even into the street. It has been like this for a year. Due to the trash in his driveway, they park in the middle of our court and so do their guests. Although we can usually find a way to drive around them, they often block parts of our driveway.

We have considered being diplomatic and asking them to clean the situation up. While we don't believe it's fully our business what they do with their property, it's clear that, besides being unattractive to look at, it is also impacting our parking situation. However, we are concerned that because it has gotten so far out of hand, and he is often so scattered that he may not take it seriously and likely won’t clean up the yard.

WIBTA for not talking to him first and wanting to call the city anonymously? I feel like a citation from the city would help motivate him to clean it up for real. Yet I also don’t want to give this young family a bunch of fines when they are struggling. I feel like I'd be an asshole for not talking to him first, but if diplomacy fails, then there's no way we could get the city involved without them knowing it was us and ruining our relationship with him and potentially others in our court. I've also considered talking to other neighbors to see if we might be able to approach him together, but if they aren't on board, we could be outted if we ever try to take anonymous action.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/brunetti3 on 2023-07-27 15:38:54+00:00. *** My husband (34m) and I (31f) have been together for 11 years, married for 8. Weve always been opposites. My husband likes to play video games and 4x a month he goes to these meetings where they sit around and eat and talk about politics/current events etc. We have 2 kids, 4 and 5 years old. We both work full time

I am the only one who does the errands and cleans and does laundry etc. (My moms lives with us and does help some) He won't help because he makes more money than I do so he says it's on me. This is a topic of contention and would be something for another post.

A few weeks ago we got into it. He was saying how I make no effort to do things with him and he's made every effort possible and now it's up to me to fix it because he can't any more. I don't really have any hobbies. After work I cook dinner, bathe the kids and get them ready for bed. We both put them to bed (usually) and then I shower and watch a little TV before bed. He used to occasionally lay on the couch with me as I watched TV. Paying attention every so often, but mostly on his phone. This is what hes referring to when he says he's tried. Because he "partakes in my hobbies" he stopped sitting with me during my shows a long time ago because I don't go to his hobbies.

We were in therapy last year and this was brought up. She suggested we find something new to do together that we'd both like. I brainstormed a list. We agreed on doing a weekly home date night where we'd watch a show we both liked and make a different adult beverage each time. We did this for a couple months then it stopped. It recently came out that he never enjoyed doing that.

I researched some video games we could play as a couple and bought 1. We've played it 3x. He has no interest in it. Video games in general give me motion sickness and I can only play so long before I am nauseated and have to stop. He knows this but says I have to power through it and eventually it won't affect. Currently he's playing 1 video game almost exclusively that is on the computer. In order for me to play, id have to have my own gaming computer which he says is over $1k. He said he'd buy it for me but I know when I inevitably don't play that often, he'd be mad that he wasted that money.

The meet ups he goes to are during the week after work. If I went, we'd have to hire a sitter. Sometimes he gets home from this after midnight. I can't get home that late then be up early for work the next day. I am introverted and being in a big group of people who are discussing things I'm not interested sounds awful to me. I know if I went I'd not talk much and he has said that if I went and didn't talk much he'd be angry. So that makes me want to go even less because then it'd be an argument after.

I'm not sure what to do. AITA for not doing his hobbies? I feel like I'm drowning already with work, the kids and house stuff so trying to add more to that just doesn't seem possible.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HotWall1967 on 2023-07-27 15:27:05+00:00. *** I don’t want to give too much away since she has reddit, but we work in a food service establishment, all the employees work with the food in the back, and then hand it to the customers at the front counter.

My coworker can’t find a babysitter/daycare 9/10 of the time, so she takes her kids to work and keeps them in the back. They’re really hyperactive kids so she brings a portable crib and an iPad to keep them occupied. Well, the 4 year old already knows how to climb in and out when he gets bored, and keeps running around the establishment barefoot and bothering customers, her 1 year old always tries to do like his brother and constantly climbs out only to fall face down on the floor.

My coworker uses her phone a lot, so she constantly goes outside for a 15-30 minute period to talk on the phone. This is when she tells me to watch her kids while she is out. Usually I have no problem doing so if the store is empty, since I’m usually in the back anyways. But when we’re in rush hour and she does this, it’s literally impossible for me to do so.

Yesterday this happened. She went outside to talk to her boyfriend, and left me with her kids, asking me to watch them. But as soon as she left a family of 5 came in, so I told the kids to stay calm and set them up with a YouTube video while I took their orders.

As I’m taking their order I hear a loud thump, a second later I hear a scream from the smaller child, I apologize to the family and excuse myself, when I go check on the kids, the baby is again on the floor on his stomach, staring at me crying.

I check that he is okay, he is, and pick him up and finish taking the order with him on the side of my hip.

Right then my coworker walks in and asks what happened, I tell her. She tells me how she asked me to watch them.

Then a customer chimes in, saying the thought the kid was mine. I said no and then she tells my coworker that it’s not my responsibility to watch her kid since that’s not the job I’m getting paid for. My coworker gets her kid and goes to the back.

After a while the store emptied again and my coworker started talking about how rude the lady was, and how it’s just a favor I’m doing for her.

I said “she’s right though” and before I could even blink I was getting called all sorts of names.

Now she complained about me to our boss and I’m being lectured about team work and empathy. I just simply don’t understand when this one time favor turned into part of my job description, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wailmore on 2023-07-27 15:26:24+00:00. *** I work in customer service (M19). I was working a closing shift with one of my co-workers, and wasn’t having a good shift. I was making a bunch of small mistakes, things weren’t getting done when I needed them to be because there were so many customers and it was only the two of us (My co-worker had other things to do, so absolutely no blame towards them), and I even had something fall on top of me. All of this combined made me pretty frustrated at myself, but to make matters worse, my co-worker was also being snappy with me that day which just added to my frustration.

We’re about 10 minutes from closing, I have a headache from all the frustration, and my co-worker is still harping on me. I ask her to leave me alone for a bit so that I can cool off my frustration. I didn’t yell, I didn’t insult or spread any blame to them, all I did was ask, and even offered to chat about it later, because I knew we probably were going to anyways. They accept and I take care of everything else that needed to be done. Later, my co-worker decides to take the exact opposite approach I did and starts yelling at me. I politely tried to explain how I was feeling, but they cut me off and got even angrier. Turns out they was also in a bad mood because they’re also a cop (I knew this in advance) and were investigating a fatal car accident that happened in town (Did not know they were part of the investigation).

I know that it probably wasn’t the best choice for me to ask them to leave me alone, but I feel like I handled the situation quite maturely given the decision I chose. But I feel also feel really bad about not being more tolerant after finding out they were dealing with so much at the time, even if I didn’t blame them for anything. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UnAcceptable_Hotel_5 on 2023-07-27 15:25:23+00:00. *** TLDR: Found out my daughter wasn't mine. Wife makes jokes, and gossips Don't trust her now and don't want to discuss personal issues with her.

I am on my second marriage and came to this relationship with a daughter. Be have been together 8 years.

Had previously done a 23&Me DNA test as I was adopted, and had always wanted to find the biological fam. Which I did, and that is a whole other story.

My wife, her daughter, and my daughter thought 23&me looked fun and wanted to do it as well. Last Xmas, 23&Me was a present from me to them.

Results. Well my daughters results came back and I was not a relative. Initially I thought there must be some mistake. I asked my wife, what if she really isn't my daughter? Her response was, " that would be hilarious." I was honestly a little taken back, and hurt by that response. I let her know that it was not a funny situation for me, and didn't appreciate it. I thought she understood, and got over it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and the reality is setting in the she is actually not my biological daughter, and begin trying to figure out who the Father was. I mentioned a possibility that it could have been my best friend at the time. I was again net with a, that would be hilarious comment, or something along those lines. Honestly can't believe this was her response, again. This time I was visibility upset, and left for a bit to cool off.

Then I find out that she was at her daughter's game, sitting with her ex, ( which is fine BTW) telling him about my current issues. Thus time I was really upset. I told her it was not her place to disclose my personal drama with anyone let alone her ex husband. She still sees no issue in what she did. Additionally she has told everyone from her friends and family to her co workers. I understand that this is big news and she probably needed someone to talk to as well. But it seemed to me just to be a gossip fest for her.

This issue greatly reduced my trust in her. To the point I don't really want to talk about anything of importance to her, especially the current paternity issues. She has picked up on this and is mad. "How can we have a healthy relationship when you won't talk to me?" I explained that she has hurt me and broken my trust and I would rather just keep this to myself and work through it. This is now all my fault, and am a poor communicator.

AITA because I don't want to talk about this issue, or any other personal, important issues with her as I don't trust her?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/livinglife5599 on 2023-07-27 15:25:21+00:00. *** AITA for Buying My Dress Before the Mother of the Bride?

Hi everyone, I'm writing this post on behalf of my mom, who isn't on Reddit. She wants to know if she's the asshole in this situation, so here goes. My brother and his fiancée are getting married in November, and my mom, as the mother of the groom, recently went ahead and purchased her dress for the wedding. Being a plus-size lady, finding something off the rack wasn't the best option for her. She visited a bridal shop, picked out a dress she liked, and ordered it.

However, there's a twist. The expected delivery date for the dress was November 10th, which is after the wedding. In order to have enough time for alterations, my mom paid to have the dress expedited, ensuring it would arrive in September instead. Seems reasonable, right? Well, here's the issue. My soon-to-be sister-in-law, who is the sweetest person, expressed to my brother that she's highly offended by the fact that our mom "broke tradition" and bought her dress before the mother of the bride. Apparently, her mom plans on buying a dress off the rack just a month before the wedding, which means if my mom had waited until then, her dress wouldn't have arrived in time.

To add more context, it's important to note that the mother of the bride acted similarly at her own son's wedding last year. She purchased her dress just a couple of weeks before the wedding, suggesting that she might have the same plan for this wedding. So, Is my mom the asshole in this situation? Should she have waited for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first, even though it would have meant risking late delivery and not having enough time for alterations?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/izaknuton on 2023-07-27 15:24:11+00:00. *** I'm moving next month and have asked my friends if they'd be willing to help me move in exchange for me doing the same.

One friend said that wasn't a fair deal because they have way less stuff. He lives in a one bedroom and I live in a two bedroom but I'm only moving my things which are going into a one bedroom. I may have more things but they're definitely comparable.

I also mentioned I have more helpers so it wouldn't just be us moving things and he just replied "I'll think about it".

I'm upset because I've always volunteered to help him and I thought he'd be willing to do the same especially since I was offering my help, not just asking for free labor. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lionprincesslioness on 2023-07-27 15:23:22+00:00. *** My (40m) boyfriend told me that he was planning to get new 2024 Subaru Outback since he is not very fond that his 2011 Nissan Rogue takes up a lot of gasoline. After some research yesterday, the 2024 Subaru Outback he is looking at is looking to be $35,000 dollars.

I also want to add that my boyfriend only works part time (10 AM to 2 PM) Mon-Fri. His job doesn't offer full time, but he loves his job so much he doesn't want to leave, but with this being said, his paychecks tend to be low compared to people with full time jobs.

I was happy that he was looking to finally get rid of that 2011 Nissan Rogue. As a girlfriend who cares about him, I was asking what his plan was to pay off the $35,000-dollar 2024 Subaru Outback. He told me "Oh, my dad is going to buy it for me 100% paid off".

I thought that was cool, but I proceeded that conversation with the question "Are you planning to pay him back"? He replied with "No. He's just going buy it for me. I don't owe him anything at all."

I was a little bit stunned. My parents never spend $35,000 dollars on a car for me without expecting me to pay them back. Admittingly, I was jealous when he told me this. His dad is a retired lawyer, so he DOES have a lot of money.

Sarcastically I said "Wow, you're totally not spoiled at all." Based on the silence, I think I offended him with that comment. He changed the topic completely and we stopped discussing the new vehicle after I said this. I feel bad.

AITA or is it "factual" that his dad spoiled him for planning to pay off this brand new car completely without my boyfriend paying a single penny?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LowerPossibility3324 on 2023-07-27 12:19:22+00:00. *** My son Keith 16 was bullied when he was a kid, it was bad and the school sucked. It only stopped when she left the school. We live in a pretty small town and everyone kinda looks the same, super tan brown hair or blonde. The bully use to dye their hair fun colors like purple and pink. That’s not really a thing here since it’s considered improper ( think small old town, judgy grandmas)

He went to therapy for a long time and we all thought he was good, now his older brother went to college and he has a gf named Cindy. She is a sweetheart but her hair is dyed pink. She is slim built also and she looks kinda like the old bully due to the hair but it is clearly a different person.

My son can not deal with it, we insisted he goes back to therapy but he skips the lesson or just doesn’t talk about. He treat Cindy like a leper.

The final straw today was an small get together barbecue and Cindy came. She asked if anyone wanted a drink, we gave her our orders and when she asked Keith he ignored her, she rolled her eyes and went to get everyone a drink. She came back and Keith made a comment of her being too good to get him a drink also. She replied with excuse me and he repeated and called her a skank.

I grabbed him and pulled him aside, and basically told him to get over it, that’s she isn’t his bully and this is pathetic. I apologize to Cindy and told him to go home.

He told our family that I chose her over him and he is very clear he thinks I am an asshole. My husband told me to post of this website.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ProfessionalOlive684 on 2023-07-26 19:50:48+00:00. *** My daughters Kate(16F) and Bella(16F) both had their 16th birthday this summer and their parties were different. By January, Kate had managed to get into 2 fights a school and got herself entangled into a bunch of drama. Bella was her partner in crime and had gotten into one fight and gotten suspended for cheating.

I was sick of their antics and told them that they needed to get their acts together. I told them they were to stay away from boys for a while and focus their energy into something productive. I said that for every infraction, I would be taking some money out of their sweet 16 budget. Bella had been planning her 16th birthday since she turned 15. She took my threat seriously and improved her grades significantly and started hanging out with better friends. She lost some money from her party, but she was able to put in some of her own money to cover the difference. Kate on the other hand didn't listen to me at all. I explained why she was losing money for every dollar that I deducted. Eventually her budget was down to about a 10th of what Bella was getting.

We go to plan the parties and Bella gets her dream party. We only had enough money to throw a small get together with around 15 people at our house for Kate's party. Kate was in tears when she found out this was her party. Kate's party was still really good. We got an expensive cake, we connected her phone to our expensive sound system, we had a lot of decorations and everything set up. It just wasn't as glamorous or big as Bella's party.

After the parties were done, one of the parents posted pictures of both parties with a caption that read "not hard to see who is the favorite". I told the person to take their post down and to mind their own business. AITA for giving Bella a worse party?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Suck_myCat69 on 2023-07-26 16:48:52+00:00. *** My family stationed to Hawaii due to military. My husbands family also lives here. Prior to moving here, we sent our kids to the island to live with their aunt(his sister) because childcare was hard to find to the point I almost got let go from my job. They stayed about a year. When my husband and I finally flew in we learned quickly that the kids had severe head lice. I could tell treatment to rid it was neglected. I was mad since at that time I was pregnant with our 4th child and feared the baby would catch it. I held my tongue and just did what I could to get rid of it. Fast forward and we let his sisters kids stay with us for a week. Maybe about 1-2 weeks later I started to notice bumps on the kids bodies. Didn’t think much of this until I woke one morning and found what I thought to be a tick in my hair. I mentioned it to my husband and he nonchalantly says ‘oh I think we have bed bugs’. Like wtf?! I started checking our bed and lo and behold I find two fat bugs hidden in the seams of our mattress. When I check the kids rooms it’s even worse. I lost it at that point. I told him I don’t want our kids staying there, I don’t want them coming here, and that he needs to tell his sister. He gets mad at me because he says I’m talking ‘shit’ about her. Exterminator comes today and it’s looking to be over $1000 for the house. I might have to throw away furniture we haven’t had for a year yet. I don’t think I’m overreacting. She might be content living with lice, roaches, and bed bugs but I’m not. And this affects our children. What am I missing?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Abandoned4 on 2023-07-26 15:52:04+00:00. *** My kids and I went to the movies yesterday while my wife was working. My oldest is seventeen. He, his ten year old brother and I wanted to watch Oppenheimer. My daughter and my youngest son wanted to watch Barbie. I really didn't want to watch Barbie, but since my daughter is thirteen, I really couldn't in good conscious leave her in charge of a four year old, even just for the length of the movie.

I asked my seventeen year old how much the going rate was for babysitting. He said at the moment, $50 + snacks. So I gave him $50 to take his siblings to Barbie, and the ten year old and I watched Oppenheimer. Turns out Oppenheimer is an hour longer than Barbie, so when their movie ended, my son called my wife to come pick them up.

When I got home, she was pissed at me. She said she couldn't believe I fobbed off two of our kids on our oldest so I could watch what I wanted to watch. I pointed out that I paid him, and she said the fact I think that makes a difference shows there's something wrong with me. I said we would have been watching different movies regardless, the only difference is who got which movie, and he set his price. She doesn't care and said I'm a huge asshole. She said I should have just watched Barbie with our daughter, and it would have made her happy. She didn't care though! Am I crazy and an asshole, or did I do nothing wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fireytrashcan on 2023-07-27 13:52:27+00:00. *** For starters, my sister (32F with 1 toddler and pregnant) and I (26F single and no kids) are not close whatsoever. She has a large indifference towards me and I’ve returned the same. Last summer, she asked me to watch her dogs and cats at her house for a combination of three weeks. My house is about 5 minutes from my workplace. However, at her residence, it’s about a 30 min drive commute one way. Last year, I watched her animals for two weeks and she didn’t pay me anything, nor did she offer. My thoughts at the time were - whatever - I was in school online/unemployed and I didn’t have to leave her place for anything necessary.

Well, this year I’ve had a job. And gas prices have rose considerably. As mentioned previously, her house is 30 mins away vs my 5 mins away from where I work full time. She knows this. Neither last year nor this year when I’ve house sat/watched her animals for her has she reimbursed me nor has she made an offer to do so. Also she came back from her vacation she walked right past me and didn’t say a word to me nor looked at me. She treated me like I didn’t exist.

Am I the asshole for being irritated that she didn’t at least make an offer to pay me while also completely ignoring my existence after helping her? I feel like my sister (while she is barely a sister at all) has taken advantage of me and I’ve been pretty irritated to say the least. Personally… regardless of who had to watch my animals and the distance, I would’ve at least offered. Hell, my best friend paid me $150 for watching her dog for two days last year, however I returned her money fully.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Beautiful_Record_782 on 2023-07-27 13:47:51+00:00. *** There's an upcoming festival that I wanted to go to, but believed the ticket is quite expensive. However, as luck as it, a friend of mine won a giveaway and received a couple tickets for free. He decided to give me one and I could not be happier. I repeat, for free. He won them for free and gave them to us for free.

Now, I have a girlfriend and this guy didn't give her an invite too as they're not that close. She wasn't ok with me going without her so after a brief fight she decided to buy a ticket to come with us. But as I said, it was quite expensive. Imagine you would have to pay 800$ for a ticket adding the cost of transport, accommodation and food.

Besides the ticket, everyone would share the costs, but since we had the tickets for free, girlfriend had to buy her own. She firstly tried to make us all chime in, but everyone natural refused. She then told me I should cover half the ticket cost, but I didn't think it's fair. Having to pay 400$ when I could go for free? I understand it's a heavy lift on her, but these are the facts. I didn't ask the guy to invite me and couldn't argue about inviting my GF too. I wish to go with her, of course, but it is what it is.

I explained this to her and told her that 400$ is a considerable amount for me and she called me an unsupportive AH. I sort of understand her frustration, but I think she overreacted. We're not kids anymore and we can't always have everything as easy as the others.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/breadstick_bitch on 2023-07-27 13:31:22+00:00. *** I (24F) was a bridesmaid in my sister's (28F) wedding this week, and it was not without its drama. The drama directly between the two of us started at the rehearsal when she told me her plans for my bouquet. She wanted me to take my necklace off and pin it around the stems, then display the bouquet at her reception, out of my sight. I was visibly uncomfortable with this and started tearing up, and I could tell that she was annoyed.

My necklace is a glass bead that was blown using our brother's ashes and his cremation tag. He died unexpectedly a few years ago and afterwards my mom, sister and I each had matching necklaces made. She rarely wears hers but mine is a fixture on my body; I haven't taken it off since we received them. My brother was the person I was closest to in the world; he was severely autistic and I was his "person" for everything. He and my sister were never very close.

The interaction we had was at the very end of her rehearsal before all of the goodbyes, and right after my sister left I started crying and told my mom how uncomfortable I would be not wearing my necklace. She was in agreement with me and also felt uncomfortable taking hers off.

The morning of her wedding, my sister gave my mom and I each charms with my brother's initials that she wanted us to add to our bouquets. She didn't address the necklaces any further until we were literally walking out of the bridal salon to go down the aisle; she told my mom and I that we had to take off our necklaces and put them on the bouquets. I told my sister that I didn't want to take it off, and she told me that the tag is "ugly" and that I needed to put the necklace on the bouquet.

The wedding coordinator stepped in and told me that I needed to take my necklace off now, and I responded with "It's my brother's ashes, I'm not taking it off." My mom immediately jumped in on my side and said that I wouldn't be taking it off, but that I could turn it around and hide it under my hair. We were pushed out the door so it ended at that. I left the tag and bead hidden behind my hair for the pictures as well and only flipped it back when we sat down for dinner.

My sister didn't interact with me at all for the rest of the day, and hasn't spoken with either of us since the wedding. My mom is on my side, but I'm not sure if I took a wrong step here. AITA?

Other info:

•My mom paid for the entire wedding •My sister knows that my mom and I don't ever take off our necklaces •There was another bridesmaid, so it's not like the bouquets needed the necklace to match •My mom did wrap hers on her bouquet, and someone working the wedding misplaced it. (They found it later!)