House Republicans' burning problem: 'We desperately need a place to smoke cigars'
House Republicans' burning problem: 'We desperately need a place to smoke cigars'
House Republicans have a horrible problem they are looking to their leader to immediately solve, according to a new report."We desperately need a place to smoke cigars," Rep. Tom Cole told Axios Sunday. Another Republican told the news outlet, "It's a very important issue."The source of this dire pr...
I think we should all try to support anything that lets rich old bureaucrats kill themselves faster if unwanted side effects can be minimized.
we should convince them that mercury is the secret to immortality again
We should heat that shit up and tell them to huff the murica vapors.
If we learned anything from COVID, all we have to do is tell them that “Liberal Elite “””DOCTORS””” don’t want you using this home-grown remedy!”
So put in a mass order on cheap second-hand carbon fiber for custom-built submarines?
I like the way you think. Maybe they could even lobby and call in favors against the common good to reserve their seat.
They want to build a literal smoke-filled back room in which to cut deals?
Our era is beyond satire.Anything besides helping the fucken american people, amirite?
Nah, that would be "socialism".
God, this tastes like I took a giant bite out of an onion. They are...so serious and committed to having a cigar lounge in the capital building that they are going to stage a cigar sit-in in the office of the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES while literally doing nothing legislative.
It's just...absurd. The article even read like an Onion piece; same pacing, same over-dramatic statements about minor inconveniences, same "no actual news source like Axios would report on this childish bullshit" feeling.
The original Axios article, with it's serious tone almost feels more oniony: https://www.axios.com/2024/06/16/speaker-johnson-tom-cole-capitol-cigars
How did the absurdity become the norm?
It became the norm when all those bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe lazy mediocre idiots enabled republicans into office by not voting in elections.
Nothing of value gets done, nothing of value can get done, when these non-voting idiots keep on allowing republican pigs to take the entire nation on a petulant, ignorant, reckless joyride.
Then when Democrats don't have enough time in power to clean up the mess - all the while being undermined and sabotaged by republicans in a slight minority, consumed by rage at not being the dominant party - the idiots shoot everybody in the foot, including themselves, with their mediocre, myopic mantra... yOu SeE? bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe LoL aMiRiTe
Predictable and flat, like cartoon characters, utterly unintelligent. As much a product of the educational system as their batshit #maga next door neighbor.
Today
What. Public restrooms no longer a safe place for homophobes to suck cock by proxy? I thought that was classic Republican 101 stuff right there. What has the world come to‽
I know there was something gross about cigars. That must be it.
Resign and you can smoke cigars at home, you pricks.
You cannot tell me that this is not the Onion! I would lose my faith in humanity for the billionth time...
They desperately need to go back to the 1820s, it seems.
and they want to take the rest of us with them! Complete with 1820's civil rights, 1820's woman's rights, 1820's pollution and industrial standards....
The source of this dire problem is Rep. Tom Cole's transition
Would have been much more fun if the author had "accidentally" stopped the sentence there.
It'd be cool if he transitioned to former rep
Shove em up your asses, lit. Fucking cunts.
Ohhhhh… hold on… i think they’re talking about meat cigars.
man i'd love to have a meat cigar rn
Yup, these are the ones chosen to represent "the people", but the only people they represent are themselves.
ok J.D. Hogg
Roscoe, arrest them Duke boys!
I mean i somewhat agree with the notion that the sort of stereotypical british gentleman's club thing is missing in the modern times, I think I would find it enjoyable to loaf around a luxurious and quiet place, reading classic literature in a luxurious classical ambiente or so, while a snobby concierge beings me liquor aged twice as long as i have been alive.
I dont want to encounter these kinds of people there though.
The idea of a nice club is great but it's probably not something taxpayers should be funding for elected representatives