This might cause a struggle but: Calling people prudes for not wanting to sexualise themselves is bad

I'm annoyed that our ace users are being exposed to this discussion. Not every space has to be sexualised. It's not prudish, it's just respecting people's differences.
Please just spoiler tag it. It's not a big deal.
Yes, our site culture is a little different - it's trying something unusual - but for some people having an extremely LGBTQ positive space where sexual content is opt-in is like drinking the most refreshing glass of water you'll ever experience.
- for some people having an extremely LGBTQ positive space where sexual content is opt-in is like drinking the most refreshing glass of water you'll ever experience.
  Seconding this, I much prefer this type of stuff being opt in

Thank you!

I already have the most sexed up wardrobe, I've got an exact replica of Lenin's outfit

I know it isn't the same thing, but is being quick to judge other people based on their level of kink what makes someone a prude? That's how I've used the word, but it seems to have a more flexible definition these days.

I don't even think the original post you made this post in reference to said anything remotely like that but the title of your post is not wrong.
- It gave me that impression though, calling Hexbear prudish and puritan
  
  It gave me that impression though
  oh well shut down the entire fucking site, someone got the wrong impression??
  Like if anything I think this post kinda validates their claims of Hexbear being prudish and puritan because here you are going "This might cause a struggle but: Calling people prudes for not wanting to sexualise themselves is bad" when the post you're referencing never did that lol.
  Swear half the 'struggle sessions' on this site are someone getting the wrong impression from a post and suddenly going "WOW Hexbear is on some shit, there have been multiple posts calling for Hexbears to sexualize themselves and calling Hexbears who don't want to do this prudes"
  
  My impression is that it is a bit Puritan. I think a lot of young people are tbh, it's the usaian influence which is simultaneously an extremely Puritan culture that also massively commodifies sex.

I feel as if a lot of people don't grasp consent that well
People can dress how they like and they shouldn't be subjected to harassment for it
It's that simple
Unless they're wearing something reactionary, in which case, they should be egged until death
- egged until death
  In this economy?
- Exactly this.
- Oh no, they certainly do.
  Just bonk them in the face after they said some victimblamey stuff, and you’ll quickly see that they understand consent perfectly well. They just don’t give a shit when it happens to other people. That’s all.
- What's the vegan version of egging a reactionary mf?
  
  Tomatoes are a classic.
  
  brick
  
  If you want the runny/drippy sort of effect, tomatoes (especially overripe ones) can do a decent job.
  
  Throwing rocks at them
  
  Flax eggs
  But we can freeze them first so they're hard
  
  Rotten mango can make a splash
  
  Throw a bag of frozen beans at them
  
  rotten tomatoes are a classic.
  
  Bunya nut cannon

GOOD POST

Really don't comment on people's appearance unless its positive (and not positive in the sense of "I'm helping them!", like genuine... idk), and even then never with strangers.
- Only comments I ever make on people's appearance are if they've clearly put thought and effort into something about their outfit and it may brighten their day to hear those choices validated. And it's gotta be something innocuous that can't come off as sexualizing them like, "love those spider earrings" or "the birds on that dress are great". Basically, validating the choices and efforts someone's made about their outfit, never anything about their actual body because 1. that's very invasive and unwanted and 2. there is only a very small degree to which people have any control over their bodies' appearances.
  It's weird but I've gotten compliments from people, mostly women, on my body, out of nowhere, and it's just come across as creepy. It would have been much appreciated if we were together or had some established relationship but these are complete strangers commenting on how nice my eyes or arms or facial structure is and I'm just like "get away get away get away"
  But someone commenting that they like my death to fascism shirt, or some band shirt? That's totally fine.
- I saw a guy with a cool mohawk the other day and I said "nice hair" and he looked like he thought I was insulting him.
  
  Unfortunately the ironic compliment has destroyed a generation of people's ability to take any compliments
  Which is why i always respond to compliments with "Thanks, it has pockets!"
- I think when it comes to critical comments the "can it be fixed in 10 seconds" rule is great.
  Someone has something on their face? Tell them they can fix it.
  They look tired? They can't help that shut up.
  
  I think a big part is trust of the person saying it. Plenty of people have appreciated it when I've notified them of a make-up gaff (that they were previously unaware of). (also I usually look slightly concerned for them)
- I agree, some people seem to think that everyone has the same idea of what looks good.

That's not prudish that is reasonable. Prudishness is when people think less of people who enjoy sexualising themselves or demand that perfectly harmless behaviours be 'kept behind closed doors' and so on.
Edit: to be concrete if you find sex as a hobby more controversial than carpentry you might want to examine why. Or if you complain about 'public displays of affection' but think that people whinging about punks playing street music are frustrating boomers maybe you're confusing your own preferences with moral truths.
But sexual liberation is for everyone, including people that want as little sex as possible. It's about a world where we respect each other, and recognise that what people do or don't do doesn't suddenly become a huge fucking deal because it relates to sex and sexuality. Wanting to avoid sexual attention, or not caring one way or the other, is just as valid as wanting to center your whole damn life about it.
We're all just food for worms.
- Edit: to be concrete if you find sex as a hobby more controversial than carpentry you might want to examine why.
  It's bullshit really. It's perfectly fine and normal for my neighbours to wake me up a 3 in the morning with their hobby, but if I take out my hammer and nails to finish off that chair, suddenly I'm the bad guy!
  
  Noise pollution ordinances are a fascist conspiricy to keep the shift-working chainsaw sculptor down.
- Because sex objectifies human bodies while carpentry objectifies trees.
  At that point, we should reexamine the meaning and significance of objectification
  
  I would have probably compared sex as a hobby to, like, D&D or something. Maybe tennis. In the sense that sex you're usually doing with other people, not to other people, as it could be argued you do carpentry to wood.
  So I don't think sex (usually) objectifies human bodies in the same way carpentry objectifies wood. I straight up don't think that's (usually) true.
  Furthermore, (most) sex doesn't involve urine and blood, so I'm not quite sure what you're getting at here. Now, sure, sex can be dangerous, you gotta watch out for pregnancy and STD's, but then, carpentry can also be dangerous, saws cut fingers off sometimes, you know?
  Finally, I'm pretty sure most hobby carpenters aren't making houses. And most hobby sex-havers are specifically avoiding pregnancy, on purpose, because they're doing sex for fun rather than procreation.
  Basically, I think you're wrong about sex. I feel, from your comment, your hatred of sex, that comes through loud and clear, and I have no interest in trying to convince you out of that hatred. It's cool, not everyone has to be into sex, that's totally fine. But your reasons for thinking sex as a hobby is worse than other hobbies are not real reasons.
  
  Yo that's a tad neurotic. Just chill.

It's really just acephobia.
Leftist and even specifically queer spaces struggle enough with allonormativity as is, but these kinds of takes (calling people prudes for not wanting to sexualize themselves) are just explicitly acephobic, whether they intend to be or not.
- God, thank you for this. My partner and I are both ace and we get called prudes a lot for being repulsed by a sex scene in a movie or a dirty joke or something. "Grow up, you're not 11". BUH.
  
  Glad I could provide that validation!
  I'm a-spec (specifically demi) myself, but I don't talk about it a whole lot.

The older i get the more i appreciate people checking in before discussing sex, or mybody, or actually just dont talk to me if youre a sexpositive loser enthusiast.
I will be wearing jeans and a tshirt, don't tell me I won't be sexualised for that anyway.
solidarity.

This might cause a struggle
I hope not, it's an entirely reasonable take.
- I made this post because of this recent post https://hexbear.net/post/4904490 which complains about how "prudish" and "puritan" we are.
  I usually don't do this but we have been getting an influx of people obsessing over the "loneliness epidemic" stuff and it's starting to bother me.
  
  Folks don't realize how good we have it here. We purposely avoid a lot of sexualized comments and hornyposting. Mods try to be on top of things. And for opsec reasons we avoid posting people's faces. Reddit was so fucking terrible with the comments, the chasers, the "my ladies". Leftist circles already have the terrible reputation of men like Barack Obama using their booklist as a way to pick up girls. People treat the DSA as a dating service. One of the OG admins here had to resign for accusations of dming inappropriately with a person in discord.
  That shit causes a lot more trouble online than what it's worth.
  
  I've noticed that a bunch of dudes with "problematic" opinions all joined around a month ago. And all of them seem to be determined to make this "their space" instead of accommodating their attitudes to match the space.
  As a cis(?) white dude, it's basically what we've been taught subconsciously by society, that you need to "make your mark" on a space. Thankfully, this is one of the best places on the internet to call out that sort of behaviour.
  
  first pronouns OP on that thread has is they/them, comrade
  don't disagree with your point, and it's annoying when people (deliberately, imo) misunderstand the volcel bit, but we don't have to misgender those doing it
  
  oh god no. that post sucks ass.
  
  i really hope this doesn't become a trend, since this is the only like, site i can use that isn't overly horny and exploitative all the fucking time
  
  I think both posts are complaining about the same thing: policing each other's behaviors and expression of sexuality.
  Maybe a lot of incels/gooners bring their lack of sex on themselves by not considering others desires or experiences. Until they figure that out, they have to be removed from common spaces. The loneliness epidemic is self-inflicted (and exacerbated by patriarchal capitalism).
  
  I don't really see where people are doing what you described in the OP in that thread?

OP of that dumpster fire thread just threw ace people under the bus lmao
- They apologised for the tone and that it wasn't meant to be a call-out of Hexbear, they haphazardly mentioned the "volcel poIice" meme as a joke and didn't understand the intent behind it: https://hexbear.net/comment/6147530
  I'm saying this as a sex-negative ace person who found the original post kinda aphobic, though I didn't say so explicitly at the time. In one of my comments there they replied that they were "being combative for no reason and immediately regretted after hitting post": https://hexbear.net/comment/6147126
  
  Hey look! It's me!
  But yeah, I had the same concerns you did, and they explained themselves that they just weren't really thinking about how it would come across. Their reaction did seem genuine, if their goal was to cause a struggle they probably would've been a lot more combative in the comments and much less apologetic.

As an ace, I would like to add that calling a sex-repulsed ace a prude is aphobic. l'm not sex repulsed myself, but someone asking you to respect their boundaries when it comes to sex-related topics or not being comfortable around sexual media isn't prudish.

hard agree. i absolutely hate being leered at by men and people act like me dressing to avoid that is me falling to the patriarchy, or something? like no, me needing to wear long skirts instead of short skirts to not be leered at isn't on me.
also i am not a prude for not liking random male-gazey sex scenes

grandmas tell the coolest stories

Pretty reasonable. Calling anyone a prude for their personal decisions about their own bodies and self-expression is uncool. Really, forcing yourself into anyone's space that you are not apart of, and trying to force them to change their behavior for your conformity, especially when their behavior causes no harm to them or you, is antithetical to a culture of diversity and acceptance.

Removed by mod
- I want to know what was so fucked up that this guy got totally nuked lol
  
  it's just a bit account, they're posting Removed by mod but there's nothing in the modlog