chat

Much like a lot of Gen X, some of the older Millennials in my life (particularly the white working professionals) are parroting the age old mantra of "I don't care about passing my skills on to the younger generations or helping those in need, no one ever helped me in my life.". My response is always "That's not a good thing!" because I never know what to say. Debate is not my strength.

My working class grandparents were never like this. They lived through the great depression and two wars and never wanted anyone to suffer as much as they did. I miss them and their kindness dearly. It's only from boomers and younger that I've seen this attitude. Capitalism is crushing our instincts as a social species. If we can't stand on the shoulders of giants... well then we will stop advancing as a species. We will stagnate and go extinct because the challenges we face now need all of us. It goes against everything that is human to be this alienated and antagonistic to one another. Particularly frightening is the hatred and contempt modern society has towards children.

This is not going to end well.

I appreciate all the people here, whether you're 20 or 60, for not becoming the thing that hurt you. We need people with a soul more than ever.

if you didn't have one, please feel free to invent what you think would have happened/what you would like to have happened

Saw this today at my local library, they were having a fun little propaganda session. Wish there was a way to stop this shit. !

I was able to pickup the sixth Wheel of Time book, which I guess was nice.

Love to see a bunch of shit I'm not qualified for and then a bunch of things that don't begin to cover my expenses and feel bad about myself and my circumstances and cry and eventually put one application for a custodian position with the county because what the fuck else will I do

I know if I went back to school and finished a degree it would give me a leg up but I just can't fucking handle the workload of work and school anymore, I feel like such a lazy piece of shit but I just don't have it in me anymore to keep this shit up

Dealing with a lot of dark thoughts today. Very dark.

Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.

I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.

So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.

I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?

Have the house to myself for a while and no reason to leave.

I will not be constrained bourgeois expectations, I will live a pants free life! (at least until i have to go buy groceries) Rise up and throw off the oppression of cloth!

u galz R great

are the pizza muffins ready?

Long story short he's back at me again because I asked him for $5 so I could grab smokes, even though I lied and said it was to buy a coffee (fuck him). Laid into me about how I suck and I'm a parasite.

Like I said in the title it puts my self-esteem in the dumps because I can't just move away and tell him to eat shit and die and never speak to him again. I'm beholden to this fucking monster that hates me.

And the funny part is I had a plan to quit smoking this weekend now I'm saying fuck it to that because what's the point?

Because I think that it has been appropriated. Bandhani is a traditional tie-dye technique, with deep cultural and historial significance for the Rajasthani, even extending to Sindhi and Marwari sub-groups in the west of India and east of Pakistan - who comprise of nomadic and semi-nomadic artisans.

The word 'bandhan/bandhana' can have several meanings depending on the context - knot, relation(ship), or kerchief - they're all related to each other, in the sense that this piece of clothing signifies relationship, and can be tied to the end of one's cloth - just in the same way you can "build" a "building" in English, if that makes sense. One of the most identifiable parts of the bandhani is the parsely and floral pattern, as well as the use of non-pastel, dark dyes.

Now, I am neither a Rajasthani, nor from the north-western parts of India or eastern part of Pakistan, so it should be obvious that I don't know much about them. Maybe some information over here is not true - and I'd appreciate correction. Personally, I feel like it is an extreme case of cultural appropriation in the sense that:

• the culture behind it has been erased, or people don't bother doing enough basic research behind them

• it has been commodified and mass-produced as a fashion trend, which is disrespectful to the people, and has harmed their livelihood severely

• the patterns have a deep cultural, religious and social significance, so do the colors, and using them trivially again erases the original meaning behind them

The bandana culture (at least from my stereotype of American media) has been stolen collectively on different occasions by multiple subcultures - the hippies, the bikers, white supremacists, cowboys, gang members, black rights activists and even antifa/anarchists members, shifting the original symbolism from that of familial collectivism to something that is representative of rejection of government authority.

Unfortunately, as a very vulnerable group, they don't have the voice to raise against this injustice, because obviously when basic needs are not met, people tend to ignore the erasure of their own identity and culture, and try to survive with what they can. The place that they live in is the antipode to the American continent, and obviously, that region does not receive a lot of attention, as opposed to western cities.

Maybe not really a question, more of a vent. But 5 years ago I was doing lib issue activism (let me keep it vague to not get myself doxxed). I was close to this person in the org. We even got so close that we went on holidays together. When they were in this hospital for a week, I was there every fecking day.

Over the course of our short but intense friendship, I started to notice that literally every time we met, they were shit talking other activists. I did say that they needed to discuss it with the person in question, I did let them know it wasn't cool. I also noticed that there was a lot of drama between them and other members. When shit happened, it was always "let me send out a ten paragraph email on why that activist is shit, but never CC the person in". And always, this former friend was never wrong about anything, could never apologise, which frankly is one of my big pet peeves. Heck, I apologise and self-crit constantly.

Back in 2019, I said that I don't like having people raise their voice to me and order me around, as this former friend liked to do. Over a course of a month, lots of former friends become really cold to me without reason. People stopped replying to texts. I asked for an explanation but got none. After 3 months, I was officially removed from the group's Whatsapp group by this former friend. When I asked for an explanation, they blocked me. I swear to god, I was never given an explanation. For the benefit of the movement, I didn't make a big deal out of it. Although it hurt like shit.

It led to 2 years of feeling suicidal, depression, medication, and therapy. After which I became a much harder leftist. Fuck rich people like them.

I'm not saying I was perfect. Lib ButtBidet was pretty dramatic, and lacked people and coping skills back then. Nowadays, when friendships need to die, I like them die gracefully, and just more slowly reply to texts and shit. There's no point and feeling sad that a friend won't admit to making a mistake and keeps making it, it's best to move on.

AFAIK, the movement that we were in together is now dead locally. I strongly suspect it has a lot to do with this person's toxicity, as they tend to have their "activist enemy of the day" but honestly it could be anything.

Anyhow, since then I've joined a local left org, and we've been doing very well. I've been doing it for 4 years and it's great. I'm one of the key organisers. Now this old activist friend has started showing up to our events. I can't explicitly kick them out, because they're not racist or anything. But honestly gossiping and not apologising are pretty toxic traits for an org. I tried to explain it to the other key people but it's just empathy and shrugs. I get it, the person hasn't doing violence or anything.

Thanks for letting me vent

Sunny day, sweeping the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet!

Wooooooo

Fucking aye.

Sometimes I feel like an alien on the wrong damn planet.

I don't get you humans at all.

It feels lonely sometimes.

really normal dream where nothing out of the ordinary happened tbh, not sure why I felt the need to post about it !very-smart

i posted about passing on a job offer a few weeks ago. I didn't really pass on it, I accepted but told them that the work wasn't what i really wanted to do, and they decided to rescind the offer. same thing

jobs are so scarce, I definitely should have just said nothing and sign the contract. They would drop me any time they wanted, so I can leave any time I want too. i just couldn't commit to something i thought would make me miserable.

At the time I didn't think I could even tolerate the job. Got some space to think properly and I just don't think that's true any more. I can tolerate it fine. Work environment is fine, pay is fine, just the work wasnt what i wanted to focus on. These are all just tech white collar jobs anyways, what was i hesitating for. motherfucker

I've got some clarity now, i'll move on. sometimes i just hate myself

Seriously I just had a dream where I was taken into an office by one of my professors and she was like "so can you get this done on time" and I was like "yeah, sure, totally!" And she replies "Oh, thank god you're a capitalist!" And I was like !what-the-hell "NONONO I'm definitely not a capitalist!" And she goes "Uh huh, sure. Me too. !janet-wink "

!kitty-cri does this count as bullying myself if my brain creates my dreams?"

I want to immigrate to someplace that's not a shit hole teetering on the brink. The culture is so fucking violent and geared towards crushing the human spirit, it really is a blight. Is there any place in the world that's halfway decent and isn't infected with burger brain disease? Especially if it's easy for an angloid simpleton such as myself to assimilate.

Edit: also trans friendly! Or at least not a danger zone like half the US.

I remember seeing it in PC World and dreaming about having one. 9800 GTX and raid 0 drive setup awoooooga.

Mostly remembered it because its designed featured in Recovery of an MMO Junkie and I was like "i know that case!"

Me if I had this PC

!

Can't find any second hand my life is over

https://youtu.be/RFddjM1NwxI

Its so beautiful

Basically title. Ever since my father died when I was at the young age of 9, my life has been on a downward trajectory. I got bullied at my middle school. I contracted some unknown disease related to my stomach which manifests itself through taking my energy away and making me depressed (also a lot of growling, gasses, diarrhea cuz of nervousness when I went to school and had an exam etc.). Of course the healthcare system in my third world prison has no idea what the fuck is going on. I tried both private and public healthcare, and both of them basically told me to fuck off.

Then after that, because I at the time lived with my grandma, and she got some unknown virus that caused her liver to shut down, even though she made it in the end, I was still forced to relocate to my mom and stepdad's house. This probably was the worst period of my life, mainly because of this asshole. First off, he didn't physically assault me, at least not until the very end. No, he instead constantly kept arguing with me about absurd conspiracy theories, even forcing me to stay late into the night, even though I had school early in the morning. Like, it got so bad, I kept avoiding eye contact with him at all costs, lest I wanted to trigger an unskippable NPC cutscene, filled with gay lobbies and anti-vax nonsense. Then he gradually started restricting stuff like the PC, not because I did anything bad, but because I correctly pointed out that no, warmups wouldn't have made a difference in my ankle sprain when I landed awkwardly. At the end he pushed me because of some stupid lie I made up so I wouldn't have to talk with him, causing me to start planning to get out of there as soon as I can.

And I ended up doing so, in fact, I went out with style, as I was going to first celebrate New Year's eve with my friends in the capital city, and only then would I relocate to my old home. That was, in the last 10 years, probably the only point where I thought I might actually be able to have a normal life, friends, a girlfriend, confidence in myself and maybe even figure out what the fuck was happening in my guts. But of course, If that did happen, I wouldn't be writing this story now, would I? So of course after about 2-3 months of me arriving from that trip and back home, I get into a spat with my friends because of, as Tony Soprano would say, "normal teenage shit". I didn't do so well being on alcohol the last 2 times we went out, so they thought I couldn't control myself and whatnot (completely ignoring the 2 other times where I was completely fine). We make up in the end, but they basically ice me out of the friend group, giving me no choice but to cut them off completely.

And so, here we are. After all that I really was already starting to feel pretty fucked up. No father, health, friends etc. But what really got me deep in depressing thoughts was the fact I was basically forced to enroll in some dipshit local college, which I was pretty much SPECIFICALLY trying to avoid. I simply can't fucking stand going to this same fucking town for 4 more fucking years after high school. It's like, at this point I have nothing to cling on to. Even my education, where I was pretty much a straight A (except we grade with numbers 1-5, so a 5) student throughout, which I thought would give me at least some form of agency over my life, has proven to be completely useless due to some bullshit, random factors outside my control.

TL:DR - I'm not really sure what to do. At this point, I just want someone to talk to, and not exactly some reactionary lib morons from !reddit-logo. Basically, in my rural area, there really aren't any jobs except seasonal ones. So I would really like some help in that sense, especially in tech, since I'm already pretty deep in and I use linux pretty much everywhere (also reading Linux for beginners, but goddamn if I didn't start it like 3 times and never finished it, at least I kept notes last time so I can just catch up). Any help is sincerely appreciated. !meow-hug

So. My terf sister fucking stabbed me when I was visiting my mom. Now I'm recovering. This sucks fr fr

!trump-moist is a NYC failson scion that's obsessed with golf and creepy beauty paegants.

!my-hero goes without saying; he has almost nothing in common with the average "heartland" chud except hatred and targets for hatred.

I don't know how to reach them and I assume if it was easy it would have been done already, but it baffles me that these failson clowns hold the leash.

Like the drug dealer?

death to america

Saw a "performative" animal rescue video where a young lad was harassing a really old, poor Rajasthani woman of nomadic origin, perhaps from a very vulnerable, and extremely backward scheduled tribe, whose culture very much resemble with the Roma people, (perhaps it is because Rajasthan/Sindh is where the Romas migrated from almost a few thousand years ago, so it makes a lot of sense).

In this particular instance, she had a snake with herself, and what she would do is sell a pseudo-scientific drug/herb-mixture, claiming that this saves your from the bite of an Indian cobra. She would let the snake bite her - well, here's the reality - the snake had it's fangs removed.

The snake can not survive in the wild now, which sucks. I condone condemn the exploitation of animals too, as well as this old lady's behavior, but how is this fair? This young lad comes from a society of high privilege and caste. Dad is probably a government civil servant, mom is a doctor. Grand parents probably one of those freedom fighters from India. So this kid is probably loaded with old money - he and his kids will never have to worry about working for their entire lives, and they'll still make money passively.

Seeing from a colonialist lens, this looks like intersectional imperialism to me, in this instance, brown imperialism (which I've talked about before; remember linguistic and cultural imperialism of majoritarian culture?). The boy "saved" the snake, but at the cost of letting these vulnerable people starve, and does he provide an alternative for her livelihood? She's probably de-fang another snake, albeit with a lot of difficulty.

Alternatively, there exists a few illegal night-club party bars out here in India for the ultra-rich, where they use small doses of snake toxins to get a high - I am not really sure how that works, but from little what I know, it is similar to acid, with the added risk of dying from the venom itself.

If this kid is so much about animal activism, why does he and his friends not care about those instances of animal abuse from the corrupt, rich people? Why does he not care about the inhumane dairy industry or the industrialized broiler chicken farm?

Just needed some opinion on this, because I am kinda ticked off by this brat's behaviour.

ohh don't you know in countries with socialized medicine they have long wait times to see a doctor?

I can't see a doctor anyway so just let me have socialized medicine

I dreamed last night about finding a playlist of 55 or so videos published by some probably 30-something white guy from the suburban USA around 2011. The playlist was titled something like "various rants", but really these videos weren't "rants" at all, they were 5~12 minute videos of this guy just being overwhelmingly and infectiously positive rambling about all his frivolous hobbies, mainly anime, video games, and Nerf guns. He seemed autistic if I'm being honest.

Now on the one hand, it feels kind of pathetic to be dreaming about wasting an hour or two on watching old YouTube reviews, 'cause that's like three layers of unreality... But on the other hand, I kind of wish this YouTuber was real. So if you know any old YouTubers matching this description, please send them to me.

It was really fun, although hot as fuck, i would suggest waiting til October to visit, or go in early Spring. If you do go in summer you will need a battery hand fan and a solar umbrella, and a handkerchief if youre a sweater like i am. Went to Tokyo, Kyoto and Hakone. It was always the country i wanted to visit the most. AMA.

It goes something like:

>Anchi Telugere, inchi Kannadere > >Encha Tamilere merepere > >Kanne-duru, Kerala-la kelapundu > >Enna Tulu Nadu bulipundu

English translation:

>Thither dwell the Telugus, hither the Kannadigas > >How Tamilians have garnered their name in fame's halls > >A mere eye's blink away, Kerala stands proud > >Yet, my Tulu Nadu weeps and mourns

\- Kayyara Kinyanna Rai

(My apologies for not writing it in the original script, which was just recently added to Unicode 16.0 on 8th September of 2024, - well, for starters, I don't know how to write in it, and second of all, there's no font for the alloted Unicode block or transliteration software available at the moment - the fonts will probably be released by Monotype soon, I would like to believe?.)

 

Yes, missionaries from the colonizing western states were involved in destroying my culture, but that does not absolve the majoritarian groups of cultural imperialism after the independence of my country. Dravidian hypocrisy is when they can't see their own short-comings - destroying vulnerable minority and tribal language, appropriating culture, music and dance. And this is why I am so unenthusiastic and apathetic about growing Hindi imperialism towards the South.

It's the weekend, it's sunny, and I need something good for both the body and mind right now.

!mario-thumbs-up

I'm going to find a professional out there in my area who can listen to all my concerns about stuff like diagnosing/dealing with AuDHD, talking about dealing with family stuff, and just my general desire to be a better person/communicate better. I don't think I can just indefinitely keep my problems inside the way I've been doing.

Okay so, basically, the game EarthBound, yeah? The music in that game was written by a dude who was heavily influenced by the Beatles and other 60s/70s music. To the point where there is even sames from Beatles music used in EarthBound.

Ok so EarthBound, including its music in turn heavily inspired a bunch of Millennials including a fellow named Toby Fox whose work is heavily based on EarthBound to the point where Undertale and Deltarune use the soundfont and sound effects for a lot of things.

Which in turn inspired a ton of zoomers, and yeah you get the idea.

It's just a cool reminder of how we are all connected in the most cringe, nerd way I can think of. Everything we do touches other's lives, whether we realise it or not.

!sicko-ness !kris-love !flowey-wink

Damn, they phones literally exploded tho

Post.

A few days ago, my partner told one of their coworkers about me making cookies at night, and the coworker immediately asked if I was manic. I decided to look into it and while I don't get highly manic or depressed, my behavior does match the symptoms pretty well. On top of that, about half of people with MS have a mood disorder.

I guess I don't want my partner to think of me as a normal person with a layer of personality on top due to BPD. And I really don't want them to be scared of my hurting them due to stereotypes about it. But there is a really good chance I have it (I will seek a diagnosis) and they have a right to know.

Edit: I sort of soft launched it by asking if they would think of me different or be scared of me if I had bipolar disorder, and they just straight up said yes, at least for a while. I'm hoping that at worst it's Cyclothymia.