This might cause a struggle but: Calling people prudes for not wanting to sexualise themselves is bad

"We need to sex up your wardrobe. What do you mean you're not comfortable wearing that? Oh honey, don't be such a prude, all the girls are doing it and you want to be successful don't you? No one's going to watch someone that dresses like their grandma."

I get sick and tired of so called leftists equating exploitation to sexual liberation.

118 comments

This might cause a struggle
I hope not, it's an entirely reasonable take.
- I made this post because of this recent post https://hexbear.net/post/4904490 which complains about how "prudish" and "puritan" we are.
  I usually don't do this but we have been getting an influx of people obsessing over the "loneliness epidemic" stuff and it's starting to bother me.
  
  Folks don't realize how good we have it here. We purposely avoid a lot of sexualized comments and hornyposting. Mods try to be on top of things. And for opsec reasons we avoid posting people's faces. Reddit was so fucking terrible with the comments, the chasers, the "my ladies". Leftist circles already have the terrible reputation of men like Barack Obama using their booklist as a way to pick up girls. People treat the DSA as a dating service. One of the OG admins here had to resign for accusations of dming inappropriately with a person in discord.
  That shit causes a lot more trouble online than what it's worth.
  
  I've noticed that a bunch of dudes with "problematic" opinions all joined around a month ago. And all of them seem to be determined to make this "their space" instead of accommodating their attitudes to match the space.
  As a cis(?) white dude, it's basically what we've been taught subconsciously by society, that you need to "make your mark" on a space. Thankfully, this is one of the best places on the internet to call out that sort of behaviour.
  
  Where are they coming from???
  
  My conspiracy brain says
  , but it's probably just coincidence and me not understanding the linear passage of time very well. I say "a month ago" but that could really mean anywhere from 3 weeks ago to 3 months ago.
  
  Probably half and half. Reddit and the other Lemmys suck, so it wouldn't surprise me that people gravitate to us because we are so large.
  
  Probably a bump to do with re-federation.
  It's shame they're around while we lost most of the trans bsky user's that jumped here when bsky was looking dog shit.
  
  Consider that many comrades on here periodically recycle their accounts for opsec reasons.
  
  That wouldn't result in a net gain of new users though, just replacing old users with new ones.
  
  We don't know how many users are here, only how many accounts are here
  
  first pronouns OP on that thread has is they/them, comrade
  don't disagree with your point, and it's annoying when people (deliberately, imo) misunderstand the volcel bit, but we don't have to misgender those doing it
  
  Sorry about that, I changed it to be less gendered.
  
  oh god no. that post sucks ass.
  
  i really hope this doesn't become a trend, since this is the only like, site i can use that isn't overly horny and exploitative all the fucking time
  
  i've noticed this rhetoric, that porn addiction isn't a thing, multiple times here lately. i don't quite get it, but it seems like they're trying to excuse porn consumption as, likee something that doesn't impact anything?
  It's very suspicious rhetoric, it's both "no problem at all" but also it is a huge problem that people are worried it might be a problem? So the people concerned there might be a problem are the real problem. Which sounds very "status quo warrior" to me. I've heard that sort of "raising concerns about an issue is the real issue" thing too many times to count.
  
  they also label the only people who could possibly be concerned about it as evangelicals. from what i've seen, the reason evangelicals love the idea of a porn ban is to ban "corrupting" influences that can be labelled as porn, namely LGBT stuff. it certainly isn't because they think it's exploitative of the sex workers, lol
  so yea i agree, deeply suspicious
  
  they also label the only people who could possibly be concerned about it as evangelicals.
  Because evangelicals are the ones that push the idea that a person could be addicted to porn and have funded questionable studies to prove it. If you spout evangelical rhetoric online, don't be surprised when people mistake you for an evangelical.
  The idea gets consistent pushback because it is not true, and because letting evangelical falsehoods get thrown around on a leftist website is very bad.
  
  It's one of those topics that people get way too defensive about. I think a lot of people who consume porn don't want to think of themselves as bad people for doing so, so when they hear "porn is potentially harmful" they think "you're a bad person for watching porn" and shut down and refuse to engage.
  I literally draw the stuff for a living, and I can absolutely see the issues with the industry (granted, real people is obviously quite different from drawings, but the art side of porn and the fetish community have their own host of issues that people never seem to want to address.)
  I don't want to be too reductive, because it isn't everyone, but a lot of people who make this sort of argument seem to be worried their treats will be taken away if we acknowledge bad things about the treats.
  
  oh it's just the same reaction as vegans get huh
  omg is this just the vegan struggle session again
  
  All struggle sessions are the same, it's always people fighting their treatler impulses.
  
  The only way forward is to reject everything and live a life of pure asceticism.
  I joke, but based on what I've seen (or how I interpret struggle sessions) it always does just seem to be one party who wants to have morally uncomplex treats and distractions, and doesn't like that their actions may have consequences for them or others. I've probably got quite a few treats myself that if someone called them out I would join the
  side of the discussion.
  
  i consume problematic stuff but i also recognize its problematic, it's not rly that hard tbh
  i mean i even play gacha games for pete's sake
  
  Yeah, I do wonder about the psychology of it, I think it has something to do with people making their hobbies and interests (or consumption) a part of their personality? I'm not really sure though.
  It could also just be something like people just having a rough day and wanting to relax, only to have their hobby called out for being bad and they just don't have the energy to shrug it off and get mad about it. We can only view the text people wrote during a struggle session, we don't know the personal circumstances in which they wrote it.
  
  if someone called them out I would join the :
  side of the discussion.
  You can't have dirtbikes at 3am sorry. Unless you're using them for vegan direct action, then it's ok.
  
  What about if I need to haul my outdoor cat to a stack of rocks?
  
  choking. breath play is really fucking dangerous and requires clear consent, but since it's normalized in porn (where consent can HOPEFULLY be discussed off camera), it becomes normalized in vanilla, where consent rules are NOT really heavily used.
  Holy fuck. I used to be heavily into kink and into some kinda extremely play, but like what happened to RACK? You can straight up die when breathplay is involved.
  The risk is small, but you need clear consent and a plan for what if heart attack etc. Holy shit we used to be dorks swapping lists of what we were into or willing to consider before ever doing a scene. Has the culture gotten that fucked?
  One time someone slapped me without discussing it prior and I had to give that mfer a lecture about cranial and spinal anatomy, consent, and the importance of bracing the skull. I thought that was an extreme mistake.
  
  RACK = Risk-aware consensual kink, for my fellow squares
  
  Ah yes sorry, I hate it when people include weird acroynms without defining them. I cannot live up to mine own ideals.
  To explain to the peanut gallery, a movement in kink culture that views kink not as an activity which has to, or can be, 100% safe. Instead it focuses on clear scoping out of risks, strategies for mitigation and clear consent by parties aware of them.
  
  In my experience, at least in my local area, the actual kinksters shy away from choking quite a bit, it's the more vanilla-leaning people who choke a lot.
  
  Casuals ruining shit for everyone smh my head.
  Medical people are the best play partners. All the anatomical knowledge to be safeish and insane with the unphased affect of someone who has rearranged some organs.
  
  Re: choking
  
  ahh there was a study someone linked me a while ago about the commonality of choking in one night stands raising over the past few years. there's a lot of articles about this, but i can't find the study im thinking of
  
  I've noticed this rhetoric, that porn addiction isn't a thing, multiple times here lately. i don't quite get it,
  You've noticed people pointing out the fact that the current rhetoric surrounding porn addiction was literally cooked up by evangelicals and mormons as a way to be puritanical weirdos. Because that is just the truth.
  If you're older than 15 you saw it happen in real time in the media, you can't pretend it didn't happen.
  I guess this is what I'm going to be posting about today. Defending porn. I'm not even that big a consumer of porn. I just don't think we should be literally repeating stuff the mormon church and evangelical republican politicians are saying.
  
  I think both posts are complaining about the same thing: policing each other's behaviors and expression of sexuality.
  Maybe a lot of incels/gooners bring their lack of sex on themselves by not considering others desires or experiences. Until they figure that out, they have to be removed from common spaces. The loneliness epidemic is self-inflicted (and exacerbated by patriarchal capitalism).
  
  I don't really see where people are doing what you described in the OP in that thread?
  
  Maybe I'm reading too much into things, or projecting. IDK

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