True dat.

Yeah, I try not to let things go unsaid myself because I don't really post memes much and I do try to fight against the toxic mentality of "men don't share feelings" shit.
But I feel a sort of mental "sting" every time I talk about something that makes me sad in front of people. It makes me worry I'm being pathetic, unlikable, or unattractive.

And then kill themselves
Source CDC
- Estrogen is anti psychotic and has various benefits for the brain. Schizophrenia manifests mainly after menopause in women and during peak testosterone age in men
- Wasn't the attempted suicide rate for men and women the same (not completely sure), but men overall tended to opt in for more 'successful' methods making the actual suicide rate higher?
  
  CDC data demonstrates that men account for over 76% of suicide deaths in the United States each year. The CDC also found that there are 3.3 male suicide deaths for every female suicide death. In contrast, in research studies, women are two to three times more likely to discuss thoughts of suicide than men, and there are approximately three female suicide attempts per every one male suicide attempt.
  Women attempt more, but use ineffective strategies like overdose. Men attempt less, but use more effective strategies than women do (like half of successful attempts are with guns. It’s actually really hard to OD on purpose - tried it at least three times lol)
  It’s not a “men have it better than women” or vice versa thing. It’s more about cultural presentations of suicide and suicidality.
- Hey guys guess where I will do a backflip tonight lmao 🤣

It's very true trueeeee

If only this were an actual meme

Nah, i tell my bois all about it and they talk to me about it.
- That's nice. I'm trying to get there myself. It's hard enough to be honest with yourself, let alone your buds.
  
  It is hard on both accounts, yes.
  And also: it's okay to accept people who don't want a deeper relationship. You can have different friendships at different levels.

Memes ARE a cope

Well what else are we supposed to do? Open up about our problems and get ridiculed to oblivion?
- Good for you, I wish I had those kinds of friends

What am I supposed to do? "Oh, hey, yeah, so, I just held my cat in my arms as he died. I had to euthanize him because he was had congestive heart failure, and was slowly drowning from pulmonary edema. I miss him so much, and I want to believe that he's in a better place, but he's just dead and gone, and I'm never gonna see him again. All I've got are memories, and they're going to fade with time until one day I realize that I haven't thought about him in years. But yo, how are you doin'? Any big plans for the weekend?"
You get up, and keep doing the shit you have to do, because it needs to get done. Telling people you're really depressed tends to make them feel really awkward, they don't know what to say, and then they gradually start ghosting you. Shit sucks, but you put a happy face on because no one wants to know that you aren't happy.
- It is tough, but emotionally mature people will know how to react. Even if all they say is something like "damn man, I'm really sorry to hear that." Or if they're extra cool (I don't know anyone like this irl) they might even ask if there's anything they can do. Maybe come by for a visit and chat. That kind of thing.
- You can simply say "yo I'm sad about my cat's death". Accept your feelings and dont be shy to share them, just dont impose them. It also opens buds to help you if they're up for it.
  Shutting them up only reinforces this idea that men dont cry and arent allowed to feel things, and the day you need actual help people will mock and leave you for being a downer and a weakling.
  Friendships are built on the ups and the downs.
  Also in this case, you need to let yourself grieve, or itll pop up in the future when you dont expect it to.
  
  It also opens buds to help you if they’re up for it.
  My experience has been that being emotionally open tends to make people withdraw. Should it be that way? Of course not. Should I get better friends? Yeah, that would be cool, and I wish that was as easy to do as it is to say. I've found that many relationships and friendships end up being somewhat transactional; people are there for the good times, but aren't interested in the emotional labor when shit gets real. I try to be there for people when they're going through shit, but that doesn't seem to be reciprocated.
  If I sound bitter, well, I am. And cynical.
  A lot of people I had thought were friends ghosted me when I failed to complete suicide and had a 72 hour hold. My ex-spouse held me in utter contempt because I was struggling emotionally. A lot of people I had known for a decade or more ghosted me when my ex-spouse and I were getting divorced; in fact, I only got to keep one friend in that divorce.
  I suspect that this is part of the experience of being on the autism spectrum.
- If you're THAT emotional over a pet dying you need professional help man.
  Im not trying to diminish your feelings, I'm sorry my dude, I feel for you I really do, but you shouldn't really spiral into a deep depression over a pet.
  You obviously have some other shit going on that would make you react that way and therapy will really help, not just with the grieving but understanding yourself.
  Edit: just read your other comment. Yeah dude I really hope you are getting the help you need, and I can see how this would make you spiral. Im going through a break up myself rn, so I empathize the pain you felt before. I'm taking meds myself and trying to get through it as I had those same ideations.
  You ever need to vent my dude DM me.
  
  My divorce was nine years ago. I got remarried a whopping five days after my divorce (...because that was the statutory minimum time; my ex-spouse had dragged their feet so long with a divorce they initiated that I'd had three serious relationships, met someone, gotten proposed to, and was ready to get married before the divorce was complete). I can say without reservation that my current partner is leaps and bounds better than my ex-partner. I've long ago accepted that many people that said they were friends were not friends, even if it still sticks in my throat. In the time since my divorce, I've lost an average of 1.1 cats per year, and it never gets easy to hold someone that's been a friend and companion for over a decade as they take their last breath.
  Am I okay? I'm as okay as I ever get. I've been through therapy multiple times, and I'd probably still go to therapy if insurance was affordable.
  Do I have friends? Not really. If I make plans with people too far in advance, they forget and make other commitments. If I try to make plans too late, they're already booked. It's possible that I'm simply unlikeable; I tend to lean that way.
  My only point was that, anecdotally, this is the experience that a lot of men have when they try to be emotionally vulnerable and honest with their male friends. Perhaps Gen Z isn't getting this kind of shit; maybe they're able to be more emotional. I kind of doubt it though, because young Gen Z men are trending far more conservative than Millennials, and conservatism isn't friendly towards emotional intimacy among men. I hope that they do better than my generation did.
  
  This lacks insight and empathy. It reeks of sympathy.

What else are you suppose to do?
- Ask for help. Be vulnerable with the boys.
  
  what boys? This ignores the original point. There isnt some big group of friends just waiting for a cry for help... The point is they arent receptive to it and it causes them to withdraw. A dude feeling suicidal? Literally no wants to hear it. Theyll just feel uncomfortable and avoid you.
  
  If only that worked for me. I've been in a depressing place for 5 years, and I both opened up to my homies and brother... Crickets.
  My wife keeps me sane and grounded.
  
  I will just say, having gone through a real rough year, it's not always black and white. I be vulnerable with the boys and ask for help, but I need time to process first, and to do it in the way I want and the time I want.
  In the meantime, I am often sending memes for that small comfort of friendship while I process.
  
  The boys can't do anything. They're broke and hopeless too.
  
  Cool, cool, cool...
  Are there any other options tho?
  
  Lol, no. We'll all just suffer quietly thanks.
  
  Yes. That's the healthy option. ...Not gonna do it.
  
  I'll just post 'mood' worthy memes untill the problem is normalized to me long enough to stop making me feel things about it.
  
  The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma...
  
  Or go to therapy, or a 12 step program, or a support group, or a mens shed or call a crisis line.
  But ignoring it and pretending it'll go away on its own letting the pressure build until it explodes is MANLY unlike taking responsibility for your reactions.
- Wallow in self pity?
  I'm good with sending memes.

you guys have homies?
- All my homies dispersed after our lives became so painful and tiring that we had nothing to share anymore.
  Men growing up never learn how to talk about their lives and wants and fears with each other, it's always fake bravado, masculinity, "how can I make everyone laugh" and other increasingly desperate attempts to cling to the simple, happy days of childhood when there was less to worry about and every day was magical.
  When the magic wanes, we're left as people holding nothing. We don't know how to laugh anymore. We don't know how to make anyone else laugh anymore. We stop smiling. We stop going out of our way to even keep up appearances, and just fade into the background, and most of us like it that way. Because society broadly doesn't know how to handle male emotional states that don't follow stereotypes for cartoonish masculinity. So as men get older, we get more and more alone.
  I literally have no clue what it feels like to have other men, related or not, to lean on and talk to. I've never had support from anyone outside of my partner, and cannot imagine how dark life is for men who don't even have that. Yes, our world is unkind to men. It's also unkind to women in a different way.
  We can each change it, but it takes effort, emotional intelligence, and of course the time in the day that most of us don't have once you have bills to pay and people to take care of.
  And I don't say this as some kind of whiny-ass teenage MGTOW redpill kid who is mad at women. I have studied sociology and neurology for decades, I have been a coach and trainer to young men, as well as women and families, I have taught self-defense, I've been in therapy, I've had substance abuse problems, i've kicked substance abuse problems. I've been religious and renounced it all. I've been a shut-in introverted gamer turned outgoing, public-speaking business leader. I've lived a few and speak from decades of just being and watching.
  
  I’ve never had support from anyone outside of my partner, and cannot imagine how dark life is for men who don’t even have that.
  Pretty fucking dark, take my word for it.
  
  the problem is systemic. a brotherhood of man wouldn't put up with the whims of poor leadership.
  
  Your comment resonated with me. I wish I had more to contribute, but all I've got right now is: you don't seem like such a mean cow.
- No, that's why I post my memes here.
  
  We here for your memes homie.

How else are we to feel better then?
- jerk off to anime tiddies?
  
  I guess there is more than one way after all
  
  but that never makes me feel any better

It's how we have to communicate, as most cultures won't allow us to be open with our emotions.
- Y'all need actual friends.
  
  This advice is only one step above "just be happy".

When i had to take my dog to the emergency vet, I got on discord and posted about ten Star Trek memes in under five minutes. One of the guys asked if I was ok, that's when i broke down and revealed the reason. I was basically looking for attention...
- Well, that explains my shit post the other day
  Edit: I'm so sorry, I had a disconnect from the first half of your comment. I apologize if this was insensitive, and I hope you are doing alright
  
  No worries, we all deal with stress in our own ways.

I usually just disappear and than appear again, like nothing happened.

I've heard of worse coping mechanisms.

Hey! It makes the day better when your homies laugh

No shit. Men, nor women, pretend to be sad, they pretend to be happy.

Welll, yeah. You ever tried to tell someone how bad of a day you just had? They dgaf.
- You probably need better friends
- Friends are going to care if they're actually friends.

I feel called out.

Often it's when I'm most likely to. Sometimes you need a distraction, small comforts, and a reminder of feeling normal

What is a meme zar?