What's a relatively minor thing to most people that you WISH you could have?
What's a relatively minor thing to most people that you WISH you could have?
152 comments
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I was at a wedding tonight and everyone on the dance floor seemed to know what to do with their hands while dancing. I just can't seem to figure it out.
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Executive function.
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I'd settle for a non-shy bladder (a social bladder? An extroverted bladder?)
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I'll trade you! I have to pee about every 20 minutes due to malnurishment as a kid.
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I wish I didn't have this giant penis.
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Well spit it out
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I'm constantly tripping over mine
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A properly functioning neocortex.
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Smooth joints, by the time I was 14 I already had clicky joints and now if I stand or sit in the wrong way I need to click them back in
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My ankles, wrists, fingers and hips pop so loud the secret police would hear it from down the road and bust me in the attic
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People existing in society in good faith. People who just want the world to be a better place to live, and aren't willing to shove people down below them in order to get an edge.
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Nah, because it's communism /s
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I hope you have a good weekend, my friend.
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The sad reality is that I'm going to be fine. I'm going to survive the turmoil and probably make money in the process, because I've been lucky before now. I worry for people that haven't been lucky. I worry for people that have been lucky but happen to be the "wrong" race. I worry for my gay friends that are looking at fleeing the country as an easier alternative. I worry for my trans friend that already has fled the country.
The US has always had problems, sure, but nothing like this.
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100% why I stopped engaging in activism.
You make a mistake and people always assume malice. It was too bad.
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Private jet?
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I don't think that's relatively minor to most
Public transport would count for USians, maybe cheap flights for Asians
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A functional pancreas. Worked perfectly fine for 27 years, then my body just decided it was evil. Super neat.
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The ability to snap my fingers. I can barely make a sound when doing it.
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Make an OK symbol with your middle finger
Move every finger except your index finger to your palm as close to your wrist as possible (in a comfortable manner)
Adjust your thumb so it is on the edge of your middle finger closer to your pinkie (this is to cause more friction between your middle finger and thumb)
Press down with your middle finger and then move your thumb, as quickly as possible, to around where your index finger is
If it works, it'll cause some burning on your finger and a loud noise, you can massage your palm where the middle finger hits if it's still muffled, it's likely stiff.
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I definitely misread this and thought you said to put my index on my palm, so I was doing it that way, resting my thumb in my index finger. Definitely not as good as the actual method. Absolutely needs practice, though. Thanks for the help.
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Which finger do you use other than your thumb? I use my rong finger, but I've seen others that use the middle. I'm sure some wierdo is out there mastering the pointer thumb technique
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Middle. I've never heard of people using any other fiber, so it's what I use.
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A loving family
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My heart goes out to you, sweet stranger. ❤️
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I was gonna write the same thing. You're not alone on this one.
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I'm so sorry, right there with ya
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As in parents or spouse and kids?
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A brain that can produce a stable level of serotonin and not go haywire all because the seasons changed.
That and being neurotypical, my life would be much easier if I didn't have ADHD
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I feel you, although I'm not sure this counts as minor
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It is minor. People that are neurotypical don't even think about it and take it for granted. For them it is normal, so it's not a big deal, they don't think there's a struggle there because they don't struggle.
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a functioning democracy
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I feel like long politians would also help out in other facets of life.
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Hah, that's hard to come by for MOST people! I'm not even sure Norway is actually a democracy!
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Normal vision.
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was trying to figure out what the stats are on vision impairment, and found this:
A National Institutes of Health (NIH) study has found that although 94 percent of Americans aged 12 and older have good vision, the remaining six percent, or 14 million, are visually impaired.
So 6% of Americans are visually impaired, and of those, 3/4 can be corrected with glasses.
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that is a fairly blunt assessment. 'Correction' is not a binary after all.
After cateracts surgery I've got 20/80 vision in my better eye. Technically both eyes.
HOWEVER.
I have no useable depth perception. The retina on my left eye is swiss cheesed with holes and scarring from birth defects. My right retina has a major deflection in it and I 'won' the lottery in having it detatch post cateracts surgery (a nominally single digit percentage chance of happening) and thus needed further surgeries to correct.
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No allergies. Im allergic to dairy, eggs and most nuts. I'm not lactose intolerant, which I wish I had, because then I could be in the bathroom for a few hours instead of a hospital for a few days. So many things have milk in them, and the few things that don't put eggs in them too. I can't eat out.
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I feel you. I'm allergy to all nuts (that are tested for) and soy. Dairy, eggs and nuts sounds like a shitty combination because a lot of the vegan stuff is nut-based.
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Maschendrahtzaun Maschendrahtzaun :(
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A big fluffy tail.
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Hair
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I feel like long hair would also help out in other facets of life.
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Being alone.
Everyone’s talking about a loneliness epidemic and I’m here wishing I had fewer people around me.
Most of them I love, for sure, but the freedom and relaxation of not having anyone around is addicting and I haven’t had a good hit since 2020
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You trade me some of your friends and I'll give you some of my alone time, dealio?
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Not to brag, but god I love waking up to a clean, quiet, empty house with my dogs every day. I don't understand why people want a spouse or kids.
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The thing that gets people to get out of the house and do things with other people.
Not like a vehicle, or transportation but the other thing
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I'm a shut-in and I'll say it doesn't help living in a sparse area with only a bike. I usually just ride on the trail to a very close bridge, sometimes I go to the closest town over and buy a few things from the produce section from the local grocery store and that's it.
Admittedly, I probably still wouldn't be very social in a denser place (money, but also other issues).
I don't want to drive, though lots of ditches around here and there is no north/south trail. So it is a factor.
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Oh I got one of those too i need the thing that gets me out of the house. Like a thing that makes me leave the house to go do
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A full set of functioning organs
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Same here, I’ll take a fully functioning skeleton while we’re at it.
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An interest in dogs. I really dislike them as far as having to live with one which makes dating literally impossible. Using dating sites over the years I've seen probably 80%+ profiles mention loving dogs, needing dogs, stealing your dog, owning all the dogs, some profiles even start with "blah blah dog."
I hate that there's such an obsession with dogs and travel... :(
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An inner voice. My wife and son both talk about options and choices like they've discussed things with another person.
I have to go with plan A. There is no second thought.
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Total aphantasia? Same here, but:
No intrusive thoughts, ever.
No visions of, or reliving, trauma.
No sad-memory sounds or tastes.
No facades, so no energy wasted.
And if you got the SDAM bonus, you can re-discover all your favorite books and movies like you never read or watched them before!
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As someone with diagnosed anexity. Constant repetive intrusive thoughts and obsessive reliving of past trauma, I can't help but be a little jealous.
Apologies. I'm sure you have your own complementary problems to over come. I just can't help and admire the how green your grass looks
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OMG. There's a name for it? I have ALL THAT OTHER STUFF!!!
I'm so happy you posted, I'm going deep dive tomorrow!
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Good relation with family
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Holy fuck this.
My parents haven't seen their only grandchild in like 6 years and it seems like they couldn't care less.
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Being able to eat gluten. So many things have wheat and thus gluten. Soy sauce? Check. Dumpling wrappers basically everywhere in Japan? Check (more flexible and easier to work that pure rice flour). Tons of sauces? Check. Salad dressings? Check (sometimes via soy sauce in Japan).
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The desire to have sex? Sure would make relationships easier.
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I understand this well. Spent a few decades in dysfunctional relationships rooted in my lack of sexual desire. Happily married to another ace woman today, where sex is only ever suggested as part of joke and we've never even came close. She is liberating, freeing, incredible and safe.
Yet I still hold a lot of guilt from previous partners who spent time thinking something was wrong with them or I was cheating because I always made "not tonight" excuses for several years straight. It wasn't fair to either of us, but my lack of introspection, self-honesty and fear of being alone kept us years of strife.
Things are wonderful now, no complaints but GAWD a lot of heart ache could've been avoided if I had a *normal" sex drive.
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I'm ace in a demi relationship, but I'm NGL, it's still hard. I'm suuuuper glad sex isn't the focus of our relationship and we've been going strong for a while, but it does also add complexity
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I'm aro/ace and sometimes I feel like this. But I guess what I want is just another person to have a connection with. If more people were aro/ace my problem would also be solved. Still I do sometimes wonder what I'm missing out on. Everyone seems to like it, yet I find it yucky. There's plenty of other things in life to enjoy though, so no biggie
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In my case, I just feel like it’s unfair to my girlfriend. I know it’s not my fault, and I’m not obligated to give her something I don’t enjoy myself - but the reality is that something that’s a big part of most relationships is missing from ours, and it’s because of me. We’re in an open relationship, so she doesn’t have to go entirely without, but it’s still not ideal.
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gonads that produce the correct sex hormones
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A measurable attention span.
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I feel like long attention spans would also help out in other facets of life.
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Oh but it CAN be measured.
It is simply that value is too short for what you need it to be.
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Wait, what were we talking about? /jk
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Eat dairy products
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Paying the price for that today myself. Ate a big ass bowl of cereal last night while sleep walking. My sleeping self didn't know to take lactaid... 🤢
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Man here I thought I had it bad when I ended up waking up on the couch and a brand new bag of barbeque chips was gone.
sleepwalking me needs to stop pigging out.
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Try eating cereal with Fairlife instead. Tastes almost the same as milk with no side effects. I didn't know how much I missed cereal in milk until I had it
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But why? The dairy industry does some truly evil shit.
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Saaame. A sip of milk is like poison for me, 20 minutes later and I'm stuck in the bathroom for the next 4 hours.
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I have minor lactose intolerance, and I drink coffee regularly.
I shit out diarrhea if I mix it with milk with lactose of any kind.
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Two things, I have horrible vision, wear -9 glasses. And I am autistic and have a very difficult time navigating many social interactions, I would love to not have to deal with either of these.
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A body that isn't rapidly degrading before I'm even 30.
I had a couple more grocery store stops to make tonight but decided to go home instead because my body hurts and i wanted to stop moving for a while.
Granted, I am fat and sedentary
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Illness or lifestyle related? The latter can always be changed, it's never too late to turn things around. A small step every day!
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Being an actual person where everything I do isn't too fancy, wannabe grown, picky, spoiled, or out of my league. I want to wear fun clothes and makeup without everyone gawking at it for trying too hard to look like a real person, or everyone angry that it has nice things it doesn't deserve. And probably the ability to enjoy music since I lost that after every single genre I enjoyed was either below society or trying too hard to be More Than.
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People are useless stupid cunts
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I wish I had enough rhythm to dance, not like some amazing dancer, I'm talking even just a little bit. I dance like Elaine on Seinfeld.
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I was terrible at swing! I can't lead in dancing. I can run a bunch of troopies to set up some comms in the bush and no one will ever hear me as us kids were raised "dad works night shifts so be quiet" kind of quiet. But if a game plan while dancing is a learned skill, I never hit proficiency at it and I think it's just not for me.
Well done, you. You learned a skill I can only envy, and in under a year!
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That's very impressive! We had a swing dance club in my high school and they always looked like they were having a good time. I think the closest thing I've done to dancing is marching in formation in the Army, which does take rhythm and coordination. But there's a certain "fluidness" to some people that my body just doesn't have.
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Functional parents.
Mine are 80, and due to a lifetime of terrible decisions and this shitty country, are driving for DoorDash, in the car I "loaned" to them a year ago.
I love them, but it'll be nice when the funeral comes, because at least it'll be the last time they use me as an ATM.
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I'm here with you. I've spent the last two years no contact with mine and undoing the damage they caused to me and my kid. The worst part is, they weren't always like this and I'll have to mourn the death of who they were long before I mourn the death of who they are.
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I’ll have to mourn the death of who they were long before I mourn the death of who they are.
I've actually used almost this same exact phrase with one of my siblings who is also one of the "dependable ones". The versions of my mom and dad I loved the most are long dead already.
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A half-decent singing voice.
To illustrate how bad my singing is: our school did a musical every year. One year it was Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The music department set up auditions. First they did a speaking audition, after which I was short-listed for Joseph. Then they did the singing audition. I ended up being 'one of the brothers, the one who doesn't really sing anything'.
I don't even want to be an awesome singer, just be able to carry a tune recognisably.
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Practice. A lot.
In my teens I wasn't able to carry a tune at all. Our music teacher marked me as "hopeless" after hearing a me singing a few lines.
This pissed me off royally. I had no desire or illusions of becoming a great singer, but I would not accept being "hopeless". So I started practicing with simple children's song melodies and recorded my singing with an old cassette recorder. It was indeed pretty awful at first, but I slowly got better. Then I got my driver's license and could sing along the songs from the radio and my cassettes while driving alone, it was a big step up from singing quietly in my room.
I also started playing the guitar to get a better understanding of musical theory, which was helpful. After I had learned the basics of playing rhythm guitar firmly I learned to play the piano. I believe that singing the melodies while playing them on the piano was essential to my development, since I could instantly hear if I did not hit the correct note.
By my mid-twenties I could already carry tunes easily and even got a complements about my singing voice. Key changes and modulations were still pretty challenging, but I kept on practising whenever I found the time.
Now in my forties I can repeat a melody correctly after hearing it once or twice and I consider myself a decent singer. I don't sing karaoke or any solo performances, but I do love singing backup or as part of a group.
If my music teacher hadn't embarrassed me publicly all those years ago, I most likely would have never put any effort in getting better at singing or learning to play instruments. I started this lifelong project purely out of spite, but it became a major and very dear part of my life. I even owe my marriage to music, while we were still dating my wife confessed to me that she most likely wouldn't have even noticed me if I hadn't been playing the guitar at that one summer party. Thankfully I wasn't too hammered at that time ;)
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Regular fucking eyesight
I'm not even asking for 20/20, I'm asking for eyesight that can be fixed by LASIK
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Energy
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Hypothyroid?
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Nah fibromyalgia, life is hell
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Stereo vision
Handwriting or drawing ability beyond that of a 6yo
The ability to follow a conversation with more than about 4 people in the room, and for crowd noise not to flip into a gibbering hellscape.
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Wish I could whistle but I guess I just gotta practice. Also my friends can do that thing where you can move your pectorals but I can't do that
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I feel like long lips would also help out in other facets of life.
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Do you go to the gym, or do pushups frequently? If you do, you should manage to do that thing with the pectorals after a while
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Slightly thicker wrists. Skinny wrists ruin the aesthetics of my arms.
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Needlewrist Ned checking in
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Moderately good health.
152 comments