What's going to be your job on the hexbear compound?

I literally grow beans for a living now so growing beans

cop

Bottomless pit supervisor

Pigpoopball cleaner

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I will be part of the straight, white male gulag. But as a straight, white, male I will take the burden upon myself to be the liaison to the Femme Queer Commune. This will be a self appointed position where I speak for my fellow straightoids on my breaks from the mines.

Someone's gonna have to maintain order in the horny jail and administer punishments.

I'm consulting with my handler, wait

Right, it looks like I'm gonna be the public facing lawyer who lives outside the compound.

I'll pet all the cats

Well since nobody offered to cook, guess I'll be

Stovetop and grilling only though I cannot be trusted with baking anything except like nachos.

I can make some mean breakfast, stir fry, kebabs, etc.

I also love gardening so that too since we would likely want to grow as many ingredients as possible.

News anchor

Cum Retrieval Specialist

I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it's vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.

Small business owner

i can do lots of handyperson stuff excluding plumbing or carpentry (but can learn). im not a tradesperson but do good DIY work and have plenty of tools

also clean and cook. if you let me i'll see where i fall on the femme-butch scale when i wake up each day and assign me tasks based on that

Scaring off chasers harassing trans comrades

that's not the workplace, it's my job title

I can make nuclear weapons so we can defend ourselves.

provide sanitary sewers and clean drinkable water for everyone. And farm some.

I'm a nurse irl, so probably nurse!

rock stacker

Dirt master

i really wanted to mine coal but they made me read taror cards instead

I'm gonna mine coal!

Digging a hole to China.

I'll be making liquor. There's a good chance I end up consuming a large chunk of it though

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Hard manual labor

Who need they spreadsheet mined?

But probably general maintenance. My favorite jobs were all fixing stuff: engines, guns, lasers, robots, computers, music gear, etc.

Probably about what I do now, musician by night, medical assistant by day.

Cat Herder.

Game room technician. I'll keep all the machines in working order and make sure the board games get put away properly.

construction carpentry or cooking

Jail bird

Seems like cook is covered so I’ll do the gardening

teacher and cook

Agriculture and hydroponics research.

Barring that? Compound defense. I'll get y'all clearing marksman if it kills me.

I'll be writing poetry in the coal mines

Black Mage

I’ll provide a heat source, power, and refrigeration

I keep telling them I want to supervise a pit, but they keep telling me I have to be a poet

I'd like to play music, although that's not job-y. I like cooking, I'd be willing to do menial grunt work. Already do that.

Toothbrush steward, because we have to share just one because no personal property

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as much as i would like to be the cute trans librarian there also needs to be a strong agricultural workforce in order to make shit work so I guess Ill work the fields, ill bring my copy of Four Season Harvest though! it could be really cool!

If possible, I'd love to work on modernizing the ancient spaghetti that holds up modern software infrastructure. Please let me be the people's rewriter in rust.

Cooking and massage, maybe some wood/metal working on the side

Professor

(Antiwork joke aside, I'll probably end up doing a lot of dishes and occasionally fixing things)

I'm the cook. My specialties are delicious hearty meals and hormones.

My post-apocalyptic commune fantasy has been to be the gruff older guy who's secretly a softie, who fixes machines and gadgets, or build new ones out of scrap that the young whippersnappers haul back to the commune.

Propaganda poster artist

i can reinstall windows or macos for you

i also give great massages

hard laborer

Doing a whiteface minstrel show.

Toilet hrt technician

I just hope all the routers are gone so I don't have to ever touch one again. Maybe I could be a beekeeper or something where being psychotically detail oriented is harmless

Daily provider of minimum one (1) cool bug that I found outside

pinball

I want to be a court jester but a court woke scold

I could probably look after potable water supply also, but really once you get the biosand setup going its pretty hands off so after a few months I'd be able to focus on woke scolding

Linux Distribution Maintainer (I occasionally edit a NixOS config file)

I want to just be nice to everyone and brighten their day, and help them with anything they might need. Need someone to help dig a hole? Hit me up. Need someone to vent about whatever to? Gimme a call.

Animal handler. There's going to be so many furry friends it'll be a full time job to keep them out of trouble.

Beanis harvesting

closet liberal

Spreadsheet maker

Cook.

I like cooking and gardening. That or I could brush up on that water degree and treat shit.

Layabout

I'll be the commander of one of our liberated tanks, I'll have bags under my eyes, a permanent five o'clock shadow and a cup of anarchist coffee always in my hand

The tank's name will be Zhukov or something

Idk... anything needed is anything needed

My real use will probably in tech and mechanical/electronic engineering.

But if it's entirely my choice - I'll go pick tasty berries for everyone to eat.

Unironically I'd love to help the cooking comrades.

However if we needed a teacher for writing or other humanities stuff I could cover that.

I could also work in the gulag as a friend for coop play.

https://hexbear.net/post/2957867?scrollToComments=false

Assistant trailer park supervisor

I can bake a mean loaf of bread.

Theyd probably force me to write shitty poetry or something

I'll sort everyone into their houses. Sorry, you're Slitherin 😔

I'll be the head a secret society and international Order.

We'll meet secretly to chit chat over drinks, everyone is welcome but no one can discuss it outside of the meeting under penalty of spanking.

Handyman, general fixer and builder of stuff

give everyone cookies and soy milk :niko-happy:

I can produce our podcast (we're going to have a podcast, right?) and help maintain our fleet of bicycles. Possibly trains and/or tanks too, as needed.

Whatever the party needs I'll do my best comrade 🫡

Escuelerie

paraglider