You're not you when you're dooming.

Was this an actual real post or satire?
I genuinely have no clue.
- Welcome to the 2024. This year's presidential election will have exclusive live coverage on election night, from your official election coverage team....The Onion. No word on if they'll still deal in satire on the night, but it is confirmed that it will be absurd.
  
  I would absolutely love for this to happen
- I think it's just an advertisement for Snickers. Gross.
  
  The sign of a successful ad campaign is when the campaign itself gets satirized to continue to build on brand awareness.
- I don't think the marketing people for a billion dollar corporation would be that bold.
  
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N3sDuBgPi2U
  
  Didn't the Wendy's Twitter account upend all that years ago? There were some bold tweets for a while.

I went on chatgpt and said "Write an advertisement that plays on the fears of gen z then suggests they eat a snickers". It returned almost the same as above.
- This is basically the text version of the Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial.

Boy you guys talk so much about student debt that I'm very thankful to not have it
- I worked full time through college. So much that it often interfered with the time that I needed to be spending on study. I still owe $40k.
  My ex husband who’s billionaire family paid his tuition while I paid our bills owes nothing of course.
  
  Hey, your ex husband pulled himself up by his bootstraps! That's no way to treat the world's most elite!
  
  I worked part time through college. Summers I had two part time jobs, and a couple summers three that worked with my schedule. Started school with about 10k in savings and finished about 12k in debt.
  Edit: I'm also super frugal. Found cheap food, cheap/free furnishings/clothes, cheap housing, pirated textbooks, and rode a bicycle and took the bus to get around.
  Wish I could have afforded the time for some unpayed opportunities. Really struggling to find a decent job at the moment. (Studied math at a top university with fairly significant cs experience and decent gpa).
  Wouldn't not recommend college, but man not feeling too good about it at the moment in terms of job opportunities (certainly wouldn't trade the experience and what I've learned for anything though)
- Thank goodness my "third world country" offers free tuition for uni. 🤩
  
  The US used to, too. But then a retired mediocre actor decided education was a privilege, not a right
  
  Yep same here.
  
  Lol and you probably don’t even have a nazi clown running for president?
- Continue to be thankful. I made some boneheaded choices in college which resulted in my throwing away a full ride, and I left school with like 80k in debt. Thankfully, I am much more fiscally responsible than I was academically responsible, and I managed to pay that off over the course of like 7 years (aided in no small part by the forbearance periods Biden forced through during COVID). Which is good, because more boneheaded choices were made which resulted in a significant change to my financial situation. If I were still making payments at this juncture, I would be in a position where I'd be moving back into mom's basement just to make ends meet.
  Not that there is anything inherently shameful in that (it's fucking hard out here, and if that's a resource that you have available, it should not be turned away simply because of pride), but it does cause me to wake every morning pleased I didn't listen to any "financial gurus" out there who talk about shit like "good debt".
  
  Good debt is an advanced move. Most people can't handle debt in any form.
- Me too, almost. My student debt will be paid off Sept 2025 🙏
- Mine is debt owed to family

That's so cynical that I would almost kinda respect it if I didn't hate marketing on principle.
- Well you can just buy that check mark, and I have trouble believing the advertising people at Snickers are bold enough to actually post this, so it's probably satire
  
  You can also just Photoshop or edit the page source to make it say whatever you want

CONSUME
- OBEY
  
  REPEAT

Yeah, low blood sugar does that... wars and shit.

I am not 35. I'm 34.
- Give it some time…
  
  No.

I genuinely can't tell if this is fake. I fucking hate this world. Anyone want to team up to build a time machine and travel the future until the perfect utopia is achieved?
- Anyone want to team up to build a time machine and travel the future until the perfect utopia is achieved?
  How about we team up and try to make this world better instead?
  
  Nah, that takes effort, and all I want to do is bitch and moan.
- I envy your optimism, that things get better in the future.
  
  Well, I'd go insane if I didn't believe that.
- We’re probably more likely to see a return to feudalism, with the wealthy getting worshipped as god-kings and regular folks going back to being illiterate peasants working the land for their overlords.
  
  Let's fucking do it.
  
  I think that's pretty much what we have now.
  The power & wealth imbalance is the same anyway.
  The wealthiest man in the world is installing a God king. It's a perversion of democracy.
- That'd be cool to see tbh.
  
  Reminds me of that Futurama episode with the time machine that only goes forward.
- That's a big assumption that humanity actually makes it out of this situation the wealthy have gotten everyone into.
  But things will survive, just not sure it will be humanity.
- Better use the effort to fix the issues we have now.

literally just trying to stay alive until my mother passes away, just so she doesn't have to bury a child. Then it can finally be over.
Like, I got personal reasons I think life sucks, but boy howdy I have no shortage of "big picture" reasons too. The future is bleak, at best.
- There are a lot of Republicans I need to outlive before I throw in the towel.
- Maybe you just need a Snickers?
  
  actually I'm allergic to peanuts and treenuts, so a Snickers would probably only expedite my exit (can't eat them due to allergy warnings)
- I'm sorry you feel that way too, I'm in the same exact boat so I know what that feels like... I'm just waiting for my older relatives to pass so I don't hurt them and then I can finally stop existing.

Because when you're down in life, nothing quite helps like getting fat, diabetes and cavities.
Treat yourself to even more problems!
- Tbf, you don't get diabetes from eating sugar. But the fat and cavities will do. eats his feelings

Lace it with LSD and it'll fix my outlook on life for about six months until reality wears me down again.
- Hmmmmm. I should try drugs.
  
  Drugs are pretty great.
  
  Try a lot of some drugs, a little of others, and none of bath salts.
  Also, rrrrrrrreal fuckin high on drugs.
- I used to do this and it helped my mental state a lot. LSD refresh every 6-12 months.
- A full 6 months of good outlook from some acid??? Geez you getting good returns!
- They are now putting laughing gas in energy drinks, as I found out recently. It's also in whipped creme which might be one reason people are all over it.
  I'm loving it. So much better than CO2. Also makes for good social commentary.

I miss Nihilist Arby's.
"You’re older than you’ve ever been, younger than you’ll ever be again, and you’re also a pointless biological accident in an entropic void and your sentience literally has zero significance
Eat Arby’s"
- I can't even tell if this was a real tweet or not. What a ridiculous world we live in.

So you're saying it's not just me?
- I have had a snickers and it is just you. Eat a verification snickers and you can be just like me

Nihilist Arby's all over again.

Good old mars wrigley. Always giving lip service to helping the environment.

One more plastic wrapper for the fire!

Jokes on you, I'm only 25!
- Only thing I can promise you with somewhat high degree of certainty is that you won't stay that way for long. 2-3 years tops.

Older and even more broken than all that.

Aah..... Embrace absurdism.

Honestly, I always need a Snickers. God damn.

I know I do

I'm 42 and my uni debt was about 15k GBP, down to a couple of grand now as I've just been paying interest until the last 5 years when I landed a good job and started clearing it. Out of interest, what was the amount you owed in your country when you finished, and what do you owe now at your current age?
- USA
  Owed $52,000 upon graduating with a bachelor's degree.
  It's been 16 12 years and I still owe $40,000.
  I regret going to college every day of my life.
- I'm 42. I owed about $88K after college (including one very expensive semester of med school in which I realized I didn't want to be a doctor after all). In addition to my full-time job, I did a whole bunch of consulting work, which let me completely pay off my student loans plus pay for grad school out of pocket.

Covid commercials in a nutshell

Maybe...

Now you'll have diabetes, if nothing else.
- "Ha, ha! Look at that guy! He ate a candy bar, now he's gonna die the fat death."
  Go boof some kale, or something.
  
  Go eat a tub of butter, or something.