No-win scenario

Conversation with ex girlfriend:
Her: I just got my car back from the garage. They told me to keep an eye on the tyre wear, but I don't really know what that means or how to do it.
Me: I can show you how to do that if you like?
Her: I don't need you to mansplain things to me! MAN KNOW CAR THING, WOMAN NO DO.
I stopped myself from correcting her interpretation of mansplaining, because it was clear that any man was forbidden from communicating normally with her.
- Glad she's an ex now.
- "You said you didn't know. But i know. Leave gender out of this."
  Why would this not work?
  
  Sounds like you've only dated reasonable people.
  
  "Being able to leave gender out of it just shows your privilege" etc etc. At least that's the reaction I've seen online.
  
  It might well have, but at the time I didn't have the energy.
- "Ok, bye" is the only reasonable response.
- Let me mansplain to you what mansplaining actually means.
  
  Its only mansplaining if she already knows what it means. She clearly doesn't know. That's just plain explaining.
- an alternate reply would have been "that sucks, they just left you hanging like that and didnt offer to help or explain?"
- Her: I just got my car back from the garage. They told me to keep an eye on the tyre wear, but I don’t really know what that means or how to do it.
  @Luvs2Spuj: putting down video game controller and giving a big sigh I can show you how to do that if you like?
  Her: I don’t need you to mansplain things to me ~~MAN KNOW CAR THING, WOMAN NO DO~~ I'll just look it up online.
  @Luvs2Spuj: FINE! IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN FIXING CARS FOR YEARS! GO AHEAD AND ASK SOME IDIOT ON TWITTER!
  Her: No reason to shout. I'll ask you questions if I need your help.
  @Luvs2Spuj: I'M GOING TO POST ON THE INTERNET THAT YOU'RE BEING MEAN
  Her: That is your right as we live in a free society. I see you and hear you, and I respect your opinions. Later tonight, I'm sure we can make sweet romantic love to settle our difference.
  @Luvs2Spuj: All of this has me so worked up, I can't even get hard anymore.
  Her: I'll just pick up some Chad at a bar and bring him over so you can watch, like we normally do.
  @Luvs2Spuj: Thanks sweetie.
  Fin
  
  Wait, so you're just making stuff up and editing the dialog so that you can make him look bad and dismiss him?
  
  Found Luvs2Spuj's ex
  
  WTF is this?

Here's a lifehack:
Quickly switch your gender to woman.
Womansplain her everything that needs to be explained.
(optional) Undo the gender switch.
- Modern problems require modern solutions
  
  Dang, a reply from both, FlyingSquid and TPM within 12 hours. If that's no cause for a dab, IDK what is. _\*dabs\*.
  Edit: guys, please stop downvoting and let me be cringe in peace.
- Wow transmaxxing much?
  
  Transminmaxing - time to optimise the fun out of everything
  
  "Transmaxxing, more that meets the eye!"
  
  Transmaxxed and explainpilled
- Is that appropriating someone’s gender?
  Can’t win.
  
  "Wow, you're saying I'm appropriating my own gender or do you mean I'm somehow not a real woman?"
  I think this could go on for hours
- Finally a technique I can master

Itsatrap.jpeg
- Girlfriend says something obviously wrong

You can call out word misuse without necessarily stepping into "mansplaining" territory.
- Don't "memesplain" us
  
  Speak for yourself!
- Check out this dude trying to Montoyasplain us
- But if they don't understand what mansplaining is (and are the type to use the word despite not understanding it), any explanation you offer is likely to be considered "mansplaining."

I mean, it's a trap and I know that. I still would.
I'm that guy.

Lol, my girl doesn’t know the right context for the phrase “gaslighting” and I just have to accept it.
- Go with the old Rick & Morty quote:
  Gaslighting doesn't exist. You made it up cause you're fucking crazy.
- Are you sure she doesn't, or is she gaslighting you? /s
  
  😱
- Just watch the film with her, it ain't bad for its time, and Bergman won an Academy Award for her part in it. 🤷‍♂️

Ask her what she thinks mansplaining is and listen intently to the answer.
- I’ve had a rough last couple of hours. Seeing a King Pow meme really helped. Made me actually smile

One of the biggest and best lessons I've learned is that it's OK for other people to be wrong. There's few situations in personal life where it's necessary to correct or educate others - they'll figure it out eventually.
- And if they don't, then 🤷
  
  A lot of times, things will either work out or not.
- You have to let life live. Like in Star Trek with that prime detective shit. A long time ago I lived in an apartment complex and my neighbour would beat the ever living crap out of his gf. I heard her cry every single night. I just ignored it because she would eventually learn to leave the guy. After like 6 months I managed to move out and escape that place.
  
  I just ignored it because she would eventually learn to leave the guy.
  That won't necessarily happen.
  
  Oh wow you poor thing. Your poor ears had to hear all that. You’re the tru victim. Good thing you got out of that tragic situation that you made all about you. You’re a psychopath.
  
  Wow you're dumb.

I was taught a long time ago a simple idea ... Men hear a problem and try to solve it...”i don't know x" ok let me teach you" or "I can't get this thing to work" ok let me try if I can.
Women on initial compliant some times just want to know that you know they are struggling. Instead of "let me teach you” you could say "I'm sure you will understand" or "I know it's difficult but you got this".
Yes it varies by person some men prefer the latter and some women prefer the former. As with most things it's up to you to know your partner and what they want...
- I don't recall where I heard this advice but someone once told me that when he's in this situation he asks his SO "do you want solutions or to vent?" Probably doesn't work for everyone but I liked the idea
  
  Sometimes that works other times it gets so much worse
  
  Yup some idea. I think I heard it on Reddit but you put it succinctly.
  Anyone else reading this keep in mind this changes with partners and situations and maybe by day...without specific examples with lot of details it's hard to tell. If you don't know, ask kindly.
  
  I'm pretty sure I've given this advice at some point on Reddit before.
  Personally I know my SO well enough to know when it's just venting. I don't usually need to ask anymore.
- This is very true and an essential life skill of anyone who is in a long term relationship.
  Wait for them to directly ask for your help. Until then, be an empathetic and active listener.
  You'll get some serious points this way.
  Asking questions is fine, for the most part (a part of active listening), just be sure they're questions, not commands. Eg. (Primary complaint): " Mary was being a bitch today", bad reply "you should avoid her when she's being a bitch", same idea, but a better reply "did you try to avoid her to stay away from her bitchiness?" In the former example, you're giving her a solution. In the latter, you're asking if she tried that as a solution. The key difference is that in the former reply, it gives the assumption that she didn't think of that, in the latter, you assume she tried and you want to know how that went, or why it wasn't tried.
  The former, implying that they couldn't, didn't, or wouldn't think of that solution, also further implies that they're lacking the critical thinking to consider that solution. Which, from what I have gathered, is the root cause of displeasure from men's "suggestions".
  Your mileage may vary depending on where your wife/gf lands on the crazy/hot graph (mainly on the crazy axis).
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg - The Nail
  
  It is not about the nail!!
- I'm a problem solver by trade and in recreation (IT, games, etc), but I also complain sometimes without desiring a fix. Sometimes I know a way to solve it but am just complaining that it even needs to be solved, and sometimes I either want to share just because it's interesting, or because it's funny.
  Sometimes I'm just venting, and an actual fix won't help my mood while venting. Like I will take the advice and apply it later, but for thus moment, I need to get my feelings out. I'm a cis male.
  (it's been suggested I'm actually nonbinary or something similar due to my mild interest in gender fluidity, but I personally don't identify that way, nor do I get bothered if referred to that way or by any gender).
- Instead of "let me teach you” you could say "I'm sure you will understand" or "I know it's difficult but you got this".
  Especially the latter one can easily sound condescending. And then you're in the shit again
  
  Yes, as I said it depends on you and your partner. Also the point is basically to say "I understand the struggle you are experiencing, here is some encouragement" without being a machine...
  As another user said in a better way...do you want to vent or do you want solutions? If vent recognize their pain and encourage them, if solutions try to help.

If they're wrong it's just explaining and no amount of instagram posts and dumb takes will change that.

If she didn't understand what mansplaining is, it isn't mansplaining when correcting her.
- Even if it isn't, she'll perceive it as mansplaining due to her incorrect understanding of the term. Our boy here's damned either way.
  
  I believe this is the famed Catch 22. The only proven way out is escaping to Sweden.

I have a term also: Fem-terrogating
Are you new here? Where do you work? What do you do for work? Does that pay well? Are you married? Ad infinitum...
I simply answer that I don't want to man-splain things.
- Man-splaining isn't any man explaining anything, it specifically refers to man's tendency to assume women have very little knowledge and condescension while explaining. You can answer questions???
  I do like fem-terrogation though
  
  I think fem-terrogation is used to elicit specific info and the subject man may often not gather what is really being sought and why.
  If the desired info is given, great.
  If the wide-eyed probing questioning leads to bloviation on a pet subject and away from the sought data needed for mating informational purposes, then a splenetic term is applied to the subject.
  Thus it is likely that ND men are often categorized thusly, as well as trying the patience of innocent questioners who are merely trying to ascertain bank balances, salary, promotion potential, and other relevant info needed to determine if she is suddenly interested in his pet subjects.
  
  You man-splained the idea of man-splaining in a thread about a meme about the same thing. I've lost track of where the ironic joke ended.
- Bro u just need to say
  "Can't say, signed an NDA"
  Funds are safu

pull up the definition on your phone and just hand it to her.
- "Don't you phonesplain to me!"

She did it on purpose to troll you. It’s 5D chess, you’re not even ready

- An easy trigger. "Mansplanning is a sexist term used to further divide the populous."
  
  got'em

How about: Wait, let me illustrate how mansplaining works...

Just start glaring disapprovingly for half an hour at minimum, shake your head slightly and then look away if you catch their eyes and most importantly refuse to explain yourself for days afterwards, just mumble something about "zplane" from time to time and if they respond just exasperatedly say "women" and walk away.

Kobayashi Maru time buddy. Time to get creative.
- Reprogram your gf so that she says sorry and admits her mistake.
- I started to use that in the title! But then I figured most wouldn't get it outside of TenForward.

But it's not that hard:
You give your broad smile and say calmly "I love you anyway".
- I don't think you're supposed to call them "broads" anymore
  
  Yeah, they're called "dames".
  
  Plus having a smile just to placate “broads” is extremely sexist

you guys should learn about softening statements.
- Like "I don't want to mansplain but mansplaining"
- You mean belittling statements? The kind where you act like you think the other is gonna freak out over nothing because you respect them so much?
  
  thats a really good question.

Hug kiss kill

Move on

For most things where the person you're talking to should know better than you, e.g. marginalized groups, field experts, professionals, etc. I might go with something like "Sorry, I don't quite get it. Can you look up a definition to help me understand better?"