Animals with Jobs @lemmy.world ickplant @lemmy.world 7 mo. ago

The Transporter: turtle found by U.S. Coast Guard with $53 million worth of cocaine attached to it

57 comments

That is so much money to entrust to one turtle
- Its not money until the turtle finds a way to fence it
  
  Where I’m from cocaine is the same, if not better, than money.
These Cocaine Bear sequels are getting weird.
- Unlike the original, of course.
  
  Yes, a cinematic masterpiece soon to be on the criterion collection!
- Cocaine Orca gonna slap tho
Source for the pic and story
- Oh, so the turtle was unemployed, after all
  
  Good to hear she didn't turn to the path of crime
  
  No no no.
  
  The turtle is employed; they work for the cops.
  
  That is what the turtle wants you to think
- The Coast Guard sure has some funky math.
  
  seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million
  
  But this 1800 lbs is worth $53mil?
  
  They're just making up these numbers
  
  Of course they are. The whole war on drugs is made up.
  
  That's just a maritime ton
  
  Per usual
  
  it's worth nothing until you realize the gains
$48 Million worth of Cocaine was found strapped to a turtle? Incredible.
- Crazy they found $40 million worth of cocaine on this turtle. Where could it have gotten the $35 million of cocaine from?
  
  Crazy someone would attach 30 million worth of cocaine to a turtle.
The cutter Thetis is part of Operation Martillo — an international effort launched in 2012 to target drug trafficking routes along the Central American coast.

In its most recent patrol, the operation seized 7 tons of cocaine worth over $135 million, according to a release by the Coast Guard.

And the War on Drugs™ continues its neverending game of Whack-a-mole®
- *Whack-a-turtle
  
  FTFY
- I don't mind Whack-A-Mole at the distributor level.
I bet the turtle approached them thinking they're possible mates.

Size and shape roughly fit.

They're not too picky about what they hump.
I didn't know Mitch McConnell was running errands for Trump Jr!
From now on, we need to refer to all water traveling drug smugglers as drug turtles instead of drug mules.
- La Tortuga de drogas
  
  Drogtuga.
Did I ever tell you the time we found a turtle with $50 million worth of cocaine attached to it?
- Wow, how did the turtle get that $45 million of coke?
  
  Not sure, but we gave the $40 million worth of cocane to the FDA.
Next time, give the turt a couple bumps off the coke so it can outrun the cops.
The turtle has been found guilty, and sentencing will take place in September.
- These mandatory minimum sentences are getting out of hand.
Turtle power.
- Turtle powder
animalsthatgotfiredfromtheirjobs
The DEA turtle !
Turtle. Holding. Big time.
You all jest - and fair enough.. but dude.. this just makes me so sad :( that poor turt didn't sign up for this shit
Did they at least give him a trial?
Steady pace wins the face candy.
On it's way to a cowabunga party.
He can’t go down with 2 barrels!
Michelangelo is that you?
- He is the party dude.

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