I am totally a CIA agent, HexBear is under investigation for... stuff! All you commies need to give me a shoebox will all your money in it now or you're totally going to Gitmo!
DM with with your address immediately and I'll show up with a van to take all your money.
Sorta tempted to reach out to that woman and be like "I know how to get your $50,000 back but I'll have to pay my MI6 contacts with your remaining $30,000, don't worry, doing this will prove how little of a 'rube' you are"
Jokes on you I'm part of a new special branch of CIA that has authority over your branch of CIA and I hate to break it to you but you're being ordered to donate all your department's money to communism.
It's part of our plans or some shit
I assume that this is exactly how office politics work in the CIA. Like you just go steel people's shit from the break room fridge and they can't do anything about it because no one is legally allowed to admit you exist or something.
Nice try! But I am actually part of the MEGA-CIA. I insist that you give me all your owl pellet. We need them to do a coup or something.
Fucking CIA always taking my owl pellets
Not gonna get me. I'm smarter than the average financial column writer so I won't fall for this
Low bar to clear but I guess you did it
i uh also need a shoebox full of money
Oooh I don't know. Maybe I could talk to my husband first? If it's serious though I could just go get the money now. As a journalist I know how sensitive this stuff can be.
NOOOOO YOU CANNOT TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND, OR A LAWYER!!! OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER!!!
i have my shoebox ready, can you give me ur home address so i can ship it to you
Sure thing.
1000 Colonial Farm Road, Langley, Fairfax County, Virginia
Sir, do you know who you're talking to...
I am a federal agent of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, et Firearms.
You can be convicted for impersonating a CIA agent, since they are only allowed on international territory, beyond the scope of the U.S.
Remember, for this crime....
If prosecuted by indictment, the maximum penalty is 5 years incarceration. If prosecuted by summary conviction, the maximum penalty is 2 years less a day jail and/or a $5,000 fine (from Sept 19, 2019).
Note: I can legally shoot you 2 times in the head, with a .38 revolver, under the pretence of self-defense, if not frame it as a suicide, with the aid of some folks I know...
Cease and desist or you will be sorely missed...
Oh shit. Can you you send me some money to buy a shoe box? I swear I'll pay you back later.
No I need it for totally ethnical CIA things
vaguely ethnic
I only have apes, will those work for CIA business?
I'm in overdraft. So now you owe me money
No now you owe me double money
Gitmo? How about you gitmo deez nuts?
You think I look like I can afford shoes?!
Fine just send it in any kind of box
How can i put negative money in a box
oh no i don't have a shoe box, im gonna get sent to gitmo!
i also don't have any money, but if i had a shoebox i could toss some loose change in there and be free from legal action
Putting one penny in a shoebox to thwart the CIA
Hold on officer where's that money for the antifa false flag I did in 2020? You guys owe me like $50k
Everyone here is a liberal i think ur mistaken
Funny CIA man, this is clearly the NDA or FBI's Jurisdiction
You'll have to tell me my SSN to prove it to me.
But I'll be convinced if you only give me the last 4 digits, the most commonly circulated and acquirable ones.
Also go ahead and send me to Gitmo bitch.
physician, heal thyself!
I'm post office. Try using some of that coup money to buy a fourth letter for your shabby three-letter acronym, peasant #FLAGang
I will hand it to you as soon as the wallet inspector returns my wallet. It's been 4 years but I assume with Covid and general government bureaucracy I should get it back any day now
Wild to imagine a world in which the default response to a collections call is not "I don't owe you anything. Do not call me again."
I don't have a shoebox so I just put the money in my shoes.
I don’t have any money you fucking pig.
