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There were supposed to be 15 commandments, but Moses accidentally dropped and broke a tablet. What are some of the five missing commandments?

And I know we're mostly atheists here, but please keep the theological discussion to a minimum and appreciate the lighthearted hypothetical scenario for what it is.

103 comments
  • Thou shalt not be cruel

    Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man

    Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren

    Thou shalt not think only of yourself

    Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action

  • Final line:

    Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don't have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that's why I made you.

  • tit for tat plus 10% extra forgiveness is the most successful strategy in life and politics of every kind

    god is found in higher furnace temperatures filled with colorful rocks

    always separate how you feel from what you can prove with evidence that is accepted as truth by 100 persons from a dozen foreign lands

    without exception, only con artists use unclear and indirect language that is subject to interpretation

    a metal screw can be used in a device to make a more accurate metal screw, repeat this process many times

  • Thou shalt not be a poo poo head

    Thou shalt not hold unbelievers to the moral standards thou agreedest to and that only applyeth to thee

    Thou shalt not giveth a shitteth about shitteth that is not thine own

  • Thou shall not leave a shitstreak in the bowl, if you do so use the brush before leaving.

    1. [my actual name here] is your lord, savior, and 4th form of god, and shall be treated as such.
    2. Sinning is the 12th form of liberalism
    3. Join an org (mine, preferrably)
    4. There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.
    5. Thou shalt seed more than thou downloads, unless thou ist [my actual name here].
  • Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Prejudice ( "Satan", oft translated by scholars as "Accuser", which is how everyone can know that it means prejudice: prejudice's WHOLE action is accusing! ) instead of considered-reason.

    Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Ideology-Addiction, but will displace it with considered-reason, breaking it from authority.

    Thou Shalt Not Forget Silliness, who is the proper antidote to self-importance.

    Thou Shalt Not Ever Mistake Propaganda for Journalism, nor tolerate propaganda's establishment.

    Thou Shalt Not Tolerate Lobbying/Bribery or any other corruption of governing.

    _ /\ _

  • The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.

    1. Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it
    2. Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying
    3. Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules
    4. Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder
    5. Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person's rightful union
    • Wow, those really sound like they could have been from the Bible (also bonuses point to you for coming up with a serious suggestion). Here, you win the Nobel prize in Prophetry*! Your basically the new Moses, and we shall follow you!


      /s (it's sarcasm but keep the Nobel prize, you deserve it (v)/ []-[]¬ )

      Prophetry is supposed to mean "being a prophet" but I just made that word up

    • Thou shall not deny thy neighbour the right to your software
    • Thou shall obey Micro$oft
    • Thou shalt have no other operating system before Linux
    • Thou shalt not take the name of Tux thy prophet in vain
    • Thou shall not desire Chrome, thy weapon of Google

    My English is not perfect so if you can please help with the old school English, especially point one and five

    1. When you die at the palace, you really die at the palace
    2. Try the mulled wine
    3. It’s good to be the king
    4. A gentleman’s cuffs should be even with the tip of his penis
    5. Jews can joke about whatever they want if they’re the scriptwriter
103 comments