I get a lot of intrusive, negative, catastrophising thoughts late at night. Worrying about things I would never worry about during daylight.
I always try to tell myself: don't think about this stuff right now, it's not helpful. Put it aside and if it still feels important in the morning then you can do something about it. Fixating on it right now serves no useful purpose.
"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
This resonated a lot with me during the pandemic shutdown.
"I am here, I move forward." Might do for you. Say it, take the time to see where you are and what you can do next. Even a small improvement is valid, just make sure you move and don't dwell on things you can't control.
It’ll sound cheesy, but “Don’t Go Hollow” is that phrase for me.
In 2019, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. When at in-patient, we didn’t get much to express ourselves. Every meal, we ate with plastic utensils and foam plates and cups for safety. I would carve that phrase into the cups, along with a bonfire.
“Don’t Go Hollow” goes back to Dark Souls. It’s a phrase that means something in the game world, but it’s also metaphorical. What’s an avatar without the player? It’s like a body without spirit. You’re not progressing in the game because you checked out. If you want to keep going, you need to be present, to keep trying.
Other ones that come to mind are “This is a moment. It will pass.” which I said in the showers that scared the fuck out of me, and “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.” “Let it rip,” from the Bear is another one I like.
There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.....the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.
It is a space anime with characters living quick and dangerous, but due to the way it is written, hand-animated, detailed, and grounded to a heavy extent, this one anime hits different as I age. It is itself targeting an older audience compared other blockbuster animes, but nevertheless it is one that keeps some aspects with you through the rewatches, but can also have substantial new feelings as you gain different life experiences. All of the main characters themselves have some kind of a past that is weighing them down through their current affairs, but their power to go on can be mostly summarized to living a life in limbo all the while trying to cope with it via simple tough-guy acts of trying to be indifferent to it.
It is not a good mantra that can be maintained for long. It is rather something that helps delaying the immediate feelings before the acceptance comes.
Not really a mantra, but I try to remind myself that the only thing that seems to be certain in life is change. If you're in a shitty spot, just wait for the change. Will it be a change for the good or a change for the bad? You can't always predict it, but it WILL change. Often, that means when I'm in a shitty mood or scenario, I wait for the change to happen in a more positive direction.
In the future this will be a period of time I'll remember clearly, which makes it valuable. Easy times lead to no substantial memories which is effectively the loss of that time.
My mantra is just rama rama rama. Meditation with a mantra helps a lot of you put in the work beforehand.
It sounds like you're talking more about a motivational slogan, though. Mine is, "You don't have to want it, you just have to do it." It helps because it frees me from the tyranny of desire. I don't need to figure out if I'm in the mood. I don't need to trick myself into enjoying it. I can just do the thing and be done with it.
Relatedly, there's a line from a favorite book, "Somebody has to and no one else will" with a similar vibe.
When I was young life was pure chaos. It was a constant battle and I often looked for things that would ground me and let my mind rest for a bit. I discovered the Peter Gabriel song Washing of the Water. I really liked how he sang it and so I memorized the words. They are good and when its a very dark time for me, the words are a great way for me to gain a little mental peace.
The whole song is beautiful. The perfect balance of wanting calm in hard times and finding peace in the nature of things
https://piped.video/watch?v=Ic4N6rT6Qks
"I'm working on it." when I feel like things are where I want them to be, but they're gradually getting there, it makes it seem okay, since I'm actively working towards a goal. This could be my weightloss, managing my depression, cleaning the house, or going through endless emails. It helps to know that it's fine that it's not perfect or great yet, but I'm working on it.
I made it through 100% of all the bad days, weeks and months in my life so far. I will also make it through the ones that have yet to come.
...and on my more cynical days, this follow-up:
And if, one day, I won't survive a bad day, then it is not my f[%$]ng problem anymore.
I tried to have a more positive mantra, but eventually realized that sheer spite can be a powerful motivator in bad times, even more so than trying to stay "nice" to the rest of the world.
"It's only a gameshow". Big Brother contestants sang it to themselves on one of the seasons back in the 00s. My colleagues and I did the same during a rough patch at a former company I worked for.
I like it because it's a reminder that things can seem immovably important until you remove yourself from the context of that situation and assess it from the outside.
But not in a super depressivt way, just when I'm super bored or waiting for something or in a tight spot working on an issue I just kinda zone out and imagine myself looking back on this while relaxing.
Living in the "self esteem" part of Maslow's pirimid when you are battling basic needs aka allergies, sleep, dehydration, dimentia, etc is a good way to be depressed. Focus on preservation of assets and restoring basic functions.
I don’t have the vocabulary for a good mantra like most of you. But a shoulder shrug and a “what are you gonna do about it” kind of noise is enough for me.
I have two:
Way back when I was 16, I worked as a host at a busy restaurant, I would get really stressed when we had a long line at the door (the wait would easily get up to 1 hour on weekends), and I just started repeating, "you can only do what you can do, you can't do any more". As someone who has always really struggled with the need to please everyone all the time, it's really helpful when I'm running busy events (I work as an events manager now) or when anything is approaching FUBAR because of things beyond my control.
On a broader, life-changes perspective, I always loved a quote from The Riches (said by the actor now known as Suzy Eddie Izzard),
"Life's a river kid, you gotta go where it takes you."
Its helped a very risk-adverse me take some huge leaps and I've not regretted any of them.
I heard my partner's dad working on some IKEA patio furniture or something in his backyard when he messed something up and yelled, "Nothing's ever easy!" In the moment, it was hilarious. Then it was kind of sad. Then it was true. Many years later that shit still sticks with me. Nothing ever is fucking easy. And any time you feel like you're getting a bit too sure of yourself or when you need to keep in mind everything you've gotten through so far, it's good to remind yourself of that.
Seems a little weird to make your life mantra a meme phrase anyways.
Mine is the motto from my high school lacrosse team, of all things. I was 15, an angsty teenager, the team sucked and lost most our games. But our coach was relentlessly positive. The motto was a Latin phrase that roughly translates to "if you're going to do something, commit to it". Basically, no half ass efforts. That stuck with me all the way through until 11 years later when I had it incorporated into a tattoo design.
Whatever intrinsic motivation you pick, it's gotta have a little more meaning to you than being the flavor of the month on the internet, or it will always lose its magic.
One I like from Malazan Book of the Fallen: "I am not yet done." The mantra of a man who's duty it was to bear the souls of the fallen for his faith as it crushed him.
From one of Patton Oswald's stand up specials, he shares his late wife's mantra, as a devout atheist: "It's chaos. Be kind." Nothing means anything, nothing happens for a reason, things just happen, they only have the meaning we bring to them, be kind.
There's so many problems, so much uncertainty about the future, it can sometimes feel overwhelming and you just shut down. If you have a counter full of dishes, even if you wash one dish you've technically made the situation better. Marginally sure, but still in the right direction. And if that's where you can focus your attention it might provide some momentum to finish all of them. But if not, that's fine too, you still made the situation a little better and sometimes that's the best we can hope for.