Beachfront property

A little rail cart on a winch would work quite nicely.
As usual, the answer to the transportation problem is a train.
- That’s basically what Angels Flight in Los Angeles is. Locals got sick of walking up the fuck off steep hill and built a 300 foot rail to go up and down it.
- I'm just sliding down the handrail, thanks.
  
  I too have played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.
  Seems easy enough.
- We have these. They are called funiculars
- need to get steps in though
  
  Put an treadmill on the train.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_inclines_in_Pittsburgh

I'd say it's 5 minutes going to the beach, but 20 minutes coming back home
- If you're really fit.
  
  You will be eventually

Fyi that's Jamestown on the island of Saint Helena
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamestown,_Saint_Helena
- How fast did Napoleon do it?
- I assume everyone living in the vicinity has buns of steel and a resting heart rate of 40?
- I recognized it from my research into islands as far away from all the bullshit of the modern world as possible. I would love to visit.
  
  I've genuinely considered moving there.
  They have a radio station, and it's run by the chillest guy ever. Just playing tunes, and chatting between.

Fun fact: This is why landings are required at certain distances.
- So you can bounce from them while falling?
  
  Well you're meant to "land" on them but momentum can be a bitch.
- Apparently not though.
  
  Only not in some 3rd world countries.

At first I thought "wow, really? Only 8 seconds?"
Count out 8 full seconds in your head.
Now imagine you're being hit by young teenagers with baseball bats.
8 seconds is a LONG time
- That's what I told her, but she insisted it really wasn't....
  
  I guess she's used to being pounded on by teenagers?

My irrational fear of heights would cause me paralysis on these stairs. It happened in a train station that had plexiglass walls around the stairs. It felt too open and I crouched uncontrollable fear as my partner tried to console me. A cop came to see what was wrong and d that was the thing that motivated me to push through and make it the rest of the way.
- I feel you. I also have that fear, and one time we went to a local opera house that has very steep balconies. When you are walking down the stairs to your seat, it seriously feels like you can fall to your death if you wobble or trip. I needed my husband holding my hand and his constant reassurance just to make it to our seats. Didn’t get up the whole intermission and then high-tailed it out of there. Never again.
  
  I walked out of a concert because we were at the top of those stairs in a huge arena. Just felt like I would fall forward out of my seat for no reason, which is completely ludicrous but that didn’t stop my unease. The seats sucked anyway.
  
  I feel that way in some sports stadiums. Like... I can intellectually recognize that hundreds of thousands of people use these stairs without incident every year. But it does not feel that way in the moment.
- I have to do a double-take every time I try to go on a boring, run of the mill down escalator. (I'm perfectly fine going up.) It's like I'm waiting for vertigo that never quite comes, just threatens.
  
  The vertigo passes you and lands on me. It's been a problem lately.
- It's not irrational at all. Falling from heights hurts. I'm afraid of being hurt (including from heights). It makes perfect sense.

8 seconds in freefall from 1000ft. Longer if you hit solid things on the way rolling down.
Also, if you bring air resistance into it, nationality will affect outcome.
- I wasn't aware air resistance was dependent on nationality
  
  Correlation with mass and surface area.

Collect S K A T E on the way down

Fun fact, there is a stairway like this but so much more run down near me. It's known locally as the Jacob's Ladder, it's under the Forth Rail Bridge and it's actually terrifying but it's the quickest way between the station and the Pier.
- My dude, this is Jacob's Ladder as well.
  
  I feel safer on that one than the one at Queensferry. Behold.
  Every other step? Rotten. Parts of the Handrail? Broken. The steps? Uneven. The Alternative? A winding road that takes you out into the country or a walk into the village.
  
  There's another one in Sidmouth Devon:

Sick ass grind combo or you won't have to worry about being cool ever again.
- I firmly believe that the gene for "wants to do crazy shit" and the gene for "has mad skills" will converge given enough time.

5 minutes there, 45 minutes back.

Imagine how fun it would be to rig up a luge sled with little rings to go over the railings. The hardest part would be designing brakes that would work effectively, but assumjng you could figure that out, (or i guess even if you couldnt) that first 6 seconds would be fun as hell.