4mo ago

I've had enough unsolicited advice and judgement for the next 500 years

[I'm new to c/chat so please remove the post if it isn't fitting for the community. I didn't know where else to post and will gladly move this one if necessary.]

I don't want this to be a long-ass rant, but I gotta air my frustration as I'm (as of now) spending new year's eve alone.

2024 was a shit year, both personally - for a ton of reasons - as well as gestures around you know exactly what I mean. I've been looking for work ever since last year, and that is an absolutely shitty position to be in atm. You know the drill, nobody will hire anyone without work experience but nobody will let you get any experience with pay or at all if you're no longer enrolled in college. So I've been applying to whatever I could get, roughly in the direction of what I've been studying, but there's just no positive feedback. Either it's formulaic "sorry to inform you but..." or "found someone better suited to the position" etc etc.

If you do this long enough, it just becomes a hopelessly worthless routine, and none of your applications feel like they led to anything. So naturally, you complain to family and friends, because hey, those are people who would support you in your time of need, or so you'd think. I've learned the hard lesson on family multiple times already, so it came as no surprise when an aunt told me to "just do the job you were trained for". There's nothing to get there, auntie, at least not if I want to make rent and pay for food, duh. Second thing that pissed me of royally was extended family tonight. Talking around the dinner table about how this year dragged on forever, I was told that it's no surprise I feel that way, because "if you were doing something, time would pass quicker".

Safe to say, I removed myself from the room immediately and hope I can avoid the lot until at least tomorrow morning. Friends aren't really helpful either because they got a job through "friends of the family" or aren't looking for work (yet).

Anyway, I'm typing this because I didn't want to feel alone on New Year's Eve with my sensation of being bullied for not having a job and not having someone to talk to. I hope someone understands.

Edit: You guys have really made me feel a lot less shit with your comments, thank you <3

36 comments

So many boomers think that folks can just go out and get a job, any job, that will pay them a comfortable wage with health insurance and everything. Like duh if that was real everyone would just go do that. They think we're so stupid because "why don't you just work!" Like holy shit why didn't we think of that! Wow! They have zero idea how the world is anymore, if it ever even was that way. It's so ridiculous and demeaning.
- Get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbees?!
- Yes, exactly, it's just hilarious how many older people, not just boomers, believe this shit. None of the jobs I have applied for since graduation are jobs that I actually want, but I've managed to write some of the most stellar letters of application I've ever thought possible, so it's not like I'm not learning how to lie in my niche of corporate language. But just knowing how to say the right things doesn't get you a job. It never has. And if you don't have anyone "influential" to back you up, your labor amounts to nothing. And then you get shamed for it, as if you didn't put fucking effort into doing something that is mandatory but its outcome is arbitrary. God I wanna puke.
- How about a fuckin federal job guarantee
  
  Sign me up
  
  In renewable energy, public housing, public health, or some other non-murderous field, right?
  
  Based. I have no idea why this is opposed at all.
  : “Sorry folks, ran out of jobs. I just don’t need so many workers.”
  : “Not to worry, I’ll find work for all these extras to do!”
  : “Noooo! For some reason I oppose this, it’s literally 1984 tyranny!”

You definitely aren't alone there, I've spent years off and on in this situation and I'm sure long-term unemployment is way more common than the lying stats say.
The best part is when you're me and you do finally get a hell minimum wage job your family still isn't pleased, hell, some of my remote family have basically disowned me and my dad over my inability to get 'fitting work' in their eyes.
- On behalf of all of us who get mistreated by their families for shitty jobs, I will mentally punch them for you so you don't have to.
  
  Kidding aside, I hope you can, at some point, at least find a job that makes you feel good about what you're doing, and never have to concern yourself with these people's demeaning treatments again. We're stronger than this!

I understand, being jobless is very harsh, especially people start treating you like worthless trash, even if you did "everything right" before. Like I had to tell one of my parents, back when I had a year of just not finding a job, despite having a degree in a STEM field (I come from an rural area and it was/is a troubled economy), that I wasnt being picky and why I could not just "get" one. Mind you that parent had worked in the same job and company for 50 years and only had two job interviews in their entire live during historic economic boom.
- I can only try to imagine how furious you must have been. At the same time, it's so easy to laugh about parents/people of that age group, because of what you said, that a lot of self-control goes into not ridiculing them for their archaic beliefs.
  Judging by your phrasing I'm gonna assume you managed to get a job eventually, and I am happy you got out of that seemingly inescapable pit. Let's just say, should we ever get in a position similar to that of your parent, I know both of us will be wise enough not to talk down to the next generation.
  
  Yeah it was bad, my parent did concede that they ultimately did not have a clue but you know its always easier to flippantly throw out accusations and start drama. I did manage to get a job - for now at least. Even my parent became more sympathetic to my former situation once the working conditions declined massively and working became a chore, they actually had a job they loved doing and fulfilled them! Imagine that.
- I think my frustration doesn't come from their lived experience and where their belief comes from, its their condescension and unwillingness to change based on how things are now reported from people they ostensibly care about.

I'm spending tonight at home, sipping some booze and playing video games. We are alone together.
- We are, comrade, we are
  
  I think I'm gonna re-watch some of the original Star Trek series. Out of curiosity, what games are you playing?
  
  The original Star Trek is a favorite of mine! As for me, I've mostly been replaying TES II: Daggerfall using the Daggerfall: Unity engine: dfworkshop.net.

"just do the job you were trained for"
A very
moment.
Hope you can find some quiet space to yourself that doesn't feel so lonely tonight.
- Thank you, friend, I hope I will

2024 has been a shitty year. I am not trying to make this about me, but I wanted to share that I and other people are having really shitty times too and you're not alone. The holiday season is supposed to be a cozy happy time, so when things aren't great it feels so much worse. I'm with you friend, you're not alone. I'll be online throughout the day so I'm happy to chat in the thread here. I hope that things get better for you in 2025.
- Thank you, it means a lot to hear that, and I've seen it happen with other friends too. I've always been something of a "therapy friend" to most people, but really, out of my own free will, so still people tell me how they're doing and if I have any advice. Thus it makes it so relieving when someone, upon reading/hearing what I'm going through, just says "I'm with you, you're not alone". It means the world to me, and I'm grateful for it.
  
  Thanks for reading my rant as well and for the kind words. This is one of my needy traits, the need for external validation. So it really means a lot to have my thoughts validated. Which is normal, of course, for everyone.
  I think this is part of what you are seeking and can't get from your family as well. Support, validation. I'm really sorry you're not receiving that, it sucks.
  And yeah, the gender representation thing, that's specifically a fear about what other people will be looking for and is a part of my brain worms that I'm working on eradicating RFK Jr style.

Sorry you are going through this. What you happen to do for sustenance is in no way a reflection of your worth as an individual.
I hope you find a gig soon, the only thing worse than working is not working
- Thank you comrade, I appreciate you and your words

Are you me? I'm literally in an identical boat.
But yeah, 2024 was a shit year.
- We're the same person in different time lines.

My condolences. My family gave me some shit for being stuck at a crappy job for years, but when I finally moved out my dad discovered my huge ass collection of resumes, brochures, and related material they finally shut up about that stuff. Being without a job is obviously worse, but there was a time that you could stretch some paltry savings or hope for some odd task to get some spare cash.
Sorry if I made that seem like I was making that about myself, but I get where you're coming from. Just try and surround yourself with friends where you can. They likely won't understand, but it can sometimes be the only thing keeping you from screaming into a pillow.
- No, it does not sound like you're making it about yourself. Thank you for telling me how you relate to what I wrote, and I'm glad that at least the discovery of your application history made your parents stop. I only doubt that my family will see it this way, since there's no "papertrail" for online applications. I hope they'll at least stop asking about it once I get any job.
  I will try to do that, as best as I can. Thank you again for your kind words, and might I add, the pillow is a good alternative if no friends are at hand.

36 comments