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The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

6个月前

Shopping in bulk

105 评论

Oh yeah, my cats going to have a field day with that.
- scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch

Every once in a while I get a Uline catalog sent to me.I have looked at that same sort of industrial Jumbo roll. Very tempting.
- If it's the uline jumbo rolls my work gets... Please don't.
  Your asshole will thank me
  
  You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.
  
  Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?
  
  Does it flake like a French pastry?
  
  My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.
  Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.
  But at the same time, almost slippery.
  And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.
  
  Plus side, it's basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It's effectively pipe grease.
- Try a bidet first. I still use TP to dry off the wet, but way less TP.
  
  How much TP did you use to use? I'm usually in the 2-4 squares range, which is usually enough to get a clean wipe. I imagine I'd still be in that range w/ a bidet, I'd just be a bit cleaner. My trick is to buy non-crappy TP, so I don't need to double up (Costco brand is the perfect mix of strong and cheap).

Single ply, extra thin, just like our corporate overlords intended it.
- Thing's so top heavy he's gonna barely touch it and the whole thing will go toppling into the bathtub and instantly absorb 10x its weight in water.
  Just like that, 42 cents down the drain.
  
  Bro that tp is gonna melt in the water whole homeboy watches like that devastated raccoon.
  
  Yeah, it's a terrible waste of perfectly good sandpaper.

One of my neighbors owns a restaurant. When covid hit, they dropped boxes of gloves, hand sanitizer, and those rolls of TP off for everyone on the street. I still have one
- That is a solidly decent neighbour.

At least the tp is oriented in the right direction.

Nice, that might last my wife one, maybe two days.
- The secret is a bidet. Much cleaner and suddenly I spend a third on toilet paper compared to before (you still use some for drying and checking).
- RIP your plumbing.
  
  I just have a garbage disposal at the bottom of my toilet. I turn it on before flushing for the "bigger deposits" 🌀

💯he stole that from a public bathroom
- If it's a public bathroom are you actually stealing from it?
  
  Yes. Same as if he took the toilet home with him.

I was hella poor in college, and constantly using Taco Bell napkins and such for toilet paper. One day at school I found one of these rolls that was left on the counter in the bathroom. I immediately put that shit in my backpack and took it home. It felt like I had won the lottery! No need to worry about toilet paper for like 6 months!

“You can’t spare one square!?”
- I don't have a square to spare!
  
  Well, is it two-ply? If it's two-ply I'll take one-ply, one measly ply.

If you can fit it on your roll holder why wouldn't you? That's just good sense right there
- Get the double length loo roll. Because of maths, it's not twice as wide even if it's twice as long, but you have to change the loo roll half as often. You will not regret this transition.

Someone's university has CH-751 locks on their toilet roll dispensers, and is missing a roll...
- This is the lock picking lawyer and what I have for you today really wipes out the competition.
- It sure ain't my university. Nobody wants to steal sandpaper so thin it rips before you even look at it

I still have 2 rolls of that stuff from back when there was no TP in the store and it was all I could find. Never did end up using them, but I guess I'm set if it happens again!

Let’s hope he had some high capacity magazines to match
- McMaster-Carr catalog.
  
  Whole Earth Catalogue

~~Shopping in bulk~~
Stealing in bulk

You use it like a knife-sharpeners' wheel.
- For the poop knife?
- Behold! The UTIcontractinator!

That could kill a man rolling down a hill

so what is it from?
- His work's supply cabinet.
  Rock on, man.
- https://www.walmart.com/ip/1883864828
  Charmin Forever Roll
  
  you da real mvp

Garbage toilet paper found often at the workplace. People especially poor in money and/or taste will sometimes use it in their homes.

Shitting in bulk i see.

Taking shit seriously around here

Wouldn’t that get absolutely covered in shit particles by the time you get to the middle?
- What happens at your house?
  
  Haven’t seen the Mythbusters episode eh?
  
  To be fair 1 flush with the lid open and you'd get a nice particulate smattering on everything.
- Everything in your house is covered in shit particles. Best just not to think about it.
  
  And many more things along with shit.
  I’m no germaphobe but the increased exposure time of that roll does disturb me. A normal roll gets maybe two dozen flushes or so before running out, that jumbo roll is being showered with hundreds of flushes.
  
  and bugs climb out from the root of the eyelash follicles and eat your skin at night, when they crawl back in to lay eggs
- what, do the shit particles BURROW through the outer layers of paper? you’re only ever getting one flush worth of shit particles unless someone in your house is shitting without wiping.
  
  Do you see the large side of that huge roll? And you do understand that toilet paper is absorbent, right?
- Asses to asses, flush to flush 🤷
- Yeah you don't want shit in your shit

I mean if it's cheap I would definitely do that too

Yeah it's long but how wide is it? 4"+ or I'm out. Shrinkflation shouldn't be applied to toilet paper.

Your friend steals TP from work. That'd the ones that go in those big industrial dispensers
- They also sell them at Sam’s club
  
  We Canadians are still mad at Sam's club. I bought a yearly membership and a month later they shut down and refused to refund anyone. We're also mad we lost the Disney store, that place was legit a great place to find deals and stuff for the kids easily.
- It's a good idea but is there any way to get it legally?
  Edit: Amazon
  
  Your local janitorial supply is better than Amazon.
  Honestly every household should have an account at one, everything there is practical and works well unlike most modern consumer products. Dirt cheap too.
  Stuff like broom and dustpan, mop and bucket, spray bottles, squeegees, concentrated cleaning products, paper towel... Buy commercial grade, buy it for life.

105 评论