I was made a humerous man...hopefully this doesn't send me south..

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I don't at all understand churches advertising.. Maybe because of my European ass? To my knowledge churches are not about profit? I get that you want to announce your service times and such, but put that in a small column in a newspaper for the ones interested or something lol
- In America, all things are about profit.
  
  In Europe we are sadly switching to that attitude too.
- That's an ad for Mormons. The Mormons are a corporation disguised as a church that has gained extreme wealth. They own a huge real estate empire, universities, and farms plus over a hundred billion in one investment fund.
  Thy have been caught numerous times breaking all sorts of financial laws but because of their status as a church it's hidden.
  For the Mormons it's all about profit and hoarding wealth.
  
  A religion of hoarding money. It doesn't get any more American than that.
  
  In NZ, churches don't have to pay tax. This makes them extremely attractive to people with no skills who want to obtain wealth
- American megachurches are for-profit multimedia empires, doomsday cults, illegal political influence organizations, human trafficking rings, and shields for those who commit sex crimes, in an expensive, tailored trenchcoat.
- The church in the ad is particularly harmful. I had to fight to get out of it, and only after they took 10% of my income for years and trafficked me. They want money, power, and control, not increased numbers at their services.
  
  and trafficked me
  There's a serious "wait, what?!?" here. The church sells slaves?
  
  White and delightsum.
  Also, gotta increase their 35billion in holdings to make the elders more obscenely rich.
- The gods demand more believers to increase their mana.
  
  Not everything is so Black & White ;)
- They want to convince you to come to their church so you can donate to their church which is totally not profit it is for the lord trust me it’s not sweet delicious tax-exempt profit mmmm
- I imagine it’s a form of evangelism. Like, if they can convince someone to attend church from the ad then that is the same as saving their soul and gets them points in God’s book (or so they tell people when in reality money is the goal).
- Duuuude American mega-churches are PURELY profit oriented
- in America everything is about profit
- Oh my sweet child...

Boomers are dying off, gotta get those numbers back up somehow.

I don't get it
- So. In pornography you'll have a thumbnail that's focused on what gets people intrigued to see a model perform, the face. This church is using a thumbnail for their ad that looks SHOCKINGLY like a porn promo thumbnail. Reason being sex sells
- The ladies in the church ad look familiar to porn stars? I dont know about the blonde, but the other lady looks similar to Alina Lopez to me.

I get it, I giggled but I cringed at one of these girls finding their image used this way on the internet

I can't say I understand what's written there at all, but if there are churos, I'm in!

I didn't get it

Hey OP equating women just existing to pornography is pretty church-y, gross, and pathetic.

Imagine both of them kneeling down, looking up at you, then they open their mouth and stick out their tongues, maintainin eye contact. They are ready to receive ~~the Horny Cum, I mean~~ the Holy Communion.
- If you'd just said Holy Communion and left it at that, it would have been a reasonable bit.
  
  Didn't trust the audience, ruined the bit
  
  Thanks for the tip. I will keep that in mind next time. Somewhat edited.
- To eat the flesh!
  
  This is my body, this is my blood. Happy are they who come to my supper.

45 comments