I become a career bureaucrat.

Whatever the guys in MS Cloudstrike did today.

I write code for those who pay me money.

I delete code of people who don't pay me.

I’m a teacher, so I guess now I spread misinformation on social media for a living. 🤡

I think the exact opposite would turn me into a literal pirate; stealing money in a way that statistically increases the risks of maritime commercial ventures.

I make sure people don't talk to each other about what they're working on and hide important information they need to complete tasks. Sometimes I'll advise them to work on the wrong thing for a long time.

In my spare moments I delete the data in reports and unpivot tables.

I fix software bugs

I am now loving my job.

I write good code now.

I transition automated processes into manual labor

I write software that scours the internet for porn and other NSL content, then sends it to school kids.

I have a job! Woohoo!

Software engineer here. I'd become the worst thing I can imagine... a user.

Damn I feel like the polar opposite of my job is also my job. But if I try to make it bad, I'd say I would hurt and demotivate children and try to keep them stupid

I lock people out of their homes and break door hardware.

Aww geez, I'm a frat boy now

Break computers

Now I cut features from software one by one

Black hat hacker, I break into people's servers and fuck up their shit

I guess I now beat people up?

I work in IT for a company that helps patients get medications they need.

I physically prevent people from getting the medications they need.

My job is having a job.

I'm an anarcho-capitalist with a real hatred for the homeless.

Well, fuck, I'm now an engineer on day shift. (I'm night shift QA and most of my issues are caused by careless engineers.)

Annihilate transportation infrastructure on a large scale.

CloudStrike has already put me out of business, it seems

I am served and taken care of from the moment I wake up untill the moment I fall asleep. Someone makes me nutritious meals, and I only do activities that stimulate my brain. Once a year a small baby gets shoved up inside me

Does that mean instead of cleaning up the place, I make it messy as fuck? 🤔 What's the opposite of a janitor?

Instead of talking to the customers and fixing issues I'm writing code and breaking things.

So apparently I work at Crowdstrike

I destroy AI. I'm basically the terminator.

Ill be hosting AA meetings.

Cause brain damage? Idk how do you remove knowledge?

I do research on technologies that make airplanes heavier, increase their fuel consumption and make them fall out of the sky more often. Oh and I spend time in the classroom making sure students have no idea how to reverse it.

I find people who have been injured by corporations and greed, and rob them.

If it were the opposite, I make sure planes come out of the sky

I ignore people with broken bones

Outbound inferiority

I make sure what I send is going to fail all the tasks. Nothing but the worst for my customers.

Instead of building homes, I destroy them... So same trade, different step.

I go to people's houses and steal their books.

I think I work at Crowdstrike now

I become a Asset Liability Mismanagement specialist.

My job is to devise an investment strategy and corresponding pension benefit structure that maximises the chance that the pension fund runs out of money before all pensions are paid, and does so as quickly as possible while taking as much risk as possible.

So basically what pension schemes did in the 80s and 90s.

I'm now taking digital databases and write them by hand in an unnecessarily vomplicated fashion to paper while making up a story for each entry.

I race up a mountain in an old suv. Hang gliders fly up and land at rhe top of the mountain. We all drive down to the landing zone.

I travel on-site to build server clusters wherever my company needs them.
I decommission Raspberry Pis at home.

I cause soft tissue damage

I assemble and disassemble industrial machinery for final testing. I already do the opposite of what I do?

I make chemical weapons to kill millions.

Efficient desktop destroyer

I break bones...

Traumatise people.

Could be fun for a while!

I reverse-engineer software.

I'm sitting at home with PTSD from deployment instead of working, so the opposite would be me working without PTSD. That would be great, where do I sign?

I have to make sure life is as difficult as possible, and squash all opportunity for learning and growth for the most affluent, able and healthy people who exist in our society.

What do I do....

I decommission computers with a very efficient inventory and documentation system.

I am now an oil baron.

I guess now I ensure that hot water heaters will explode?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rGWmONHipVo&pp=ygUfbXl0aGJ1c3RlcnMgd2F0ZXIgaGVhdGVyIHJvY2tldA%3D%3D

I encourage people to use drugs in the most dangerous way possible. Occasionally kidnapping people from hospitals or rehabs and then dump them on the streets.

I destroy aircraft tools. Sometimes I also make them.

Having.a job instead of waiting for the next quarter of college. As to what the job is, couldn't tell you.

Visit people's houses and take their food.

I now make it impossible for trade schools to be publicly funded.

Suck instead of blow

I do not sell software. Don’t install it. If you try to anyway and have questions, I will provide instructions on how to completely fuck your integration up.

I disorganize rare books and artifacts 😔

A super hierarchical and meaningless job in a big company, for which I'm well-paid. I have a lot of colleagues and I hate them. I have no right to initiative and strict but quiet schedules.

I make up pseudoscience? I guess?

btw gravity is fake, the earth is flat

I guess my job is everything.

Edit: And I guess no more recovering from medical stuff. Maybe about 2 years from now I'll be post surgery enough to start working again.

Apparantly I'm endangering everyone and encouraging chaos and disorder

I take warriors and train them to integrate into the real world.

I destroy things instead of creating them.

I now talk to women for a living

I sit and listen while old people complain about music all day.

I cause massive amounts of damage and disorder within local school systems.

I go buy stuff!

I don't make false promises anymore. I'm free.

As a QA, I guess I'm getting zooted and living in my head!

Permanently Deleted

I ring people up and scream at them

Farmer.

I'm a pastor who rails on the demonic music of today.

I destroy media that large scale companies collect for various purposes.

Illuminating Monk.

A librarian probably.

I become a professional hotel critic.

Poor

I follow disabled people around for hours, doing everything in my power to make life less convenient for them.