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The Onion @midwest.social

Texas Republican Party ‘Near Civil War’ as State House Debates Gun-Based Abortions

The Onion @midwest.social

Trump Threatens 40% Tariffs on Ireland Unless Bono Wins ‘Amazing Race’ This Year

The Onion @midwest.social

New EU Resolution Decrees All Mentions of “Country With a Tiny Penis” Be Replaced with “Country With a Tiny Penis”

  • The value went away, not actual money. Say you own a pair of Jordan’s original shoes worn playing for the bulls, and he shows up drunk on a tv show and spends an hour crapping all over the bulls. You still own the shoes, but they will be worth less if you try to sell them.

  • The Onion @midwest.social

    Floridians “Worried” As Trump Asks Supreme Court for a Preemptive Ruling Whether He Can Nuke the State

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Journalists Demand More Synonyms for Stupid as Trump Administration Enters Third Month in Office

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Budget Concerns As IRS Layoffs Cause Americans to Remember Over 65 Million Additional Dependents

    The Onion @midwest.social

    LiteCoin Announces Smaller, Less Popular Efficiency Office to Capitalize on DOGE Success

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Entire Nation Unsure How to Act as Trump Frees Detained American Held in Russia

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Republican Leadership Concerned Its “Mountain Dew Baja Blast” Caucus May Divide Party on Greenland Name Change

    The Onion @midwest.social

    China Demands US Slow Its Collapse and Stick to Chinese Timetables.

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Republican Leadership Outraged as Colombia Announces a 75% Tariff on Cocaine

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Americans Unite Around New Soda Flavor: “Pepsi Despair”

    The Onion @midwest.social

    As Finding Out Quickly Approaches, Republican Voters Remain Delighted with the Fucking Around

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Shock and Outrage at Latest Actions by White House

    The Onion @midwest.social

    White House Highlights Number of Straight White Males in Cabinet as Charges of Diversity Mount

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Growing Concern Among America’s Adversaries They Forgot Bribe Payments to Cause This Much Chaos

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Conservatives Taking Long Looks in the Mirror as Measures Aimed at Gays and Transexuals Hurting Them and Their Families

    The Onion @midwest.social

    Republican Leadership Concerned as Strategic Fear Stockpiles Running Low

    The Onion @midwest.social

    US Economy Heating Up as Russian Firm Seeks 400,000 Temporary Workers for “Occupational Work”

    The Onion @midwest.social

    “Tiger King” Joe Exotic Pledges to Immediately Attack Democracy if Pardoned