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Microblog Memes @lemmy.world

cinabongo @lemmy.world

7mo ago

Tooth erections

36 comments

"Mom, I'm not hungry!" "Honey, I can see you're hard. Just eat it."
- How do I delete someone else's comment?
  😂🤣
- Yep, that's definitely porn.
- Weird Al's Eat It is even weirder than I remember

Well, if they only got hard when we were actually hungry, and not just "bored hungry", I assume the market for crunchy snack foods wouldn't be as prominent.
- Pfft as if we wouldn't have come out with a Viagra for teeth LMAO
  
  Well, this is horrifying. Just the thought of old men before Tooth Viagra comes out just trying to eat chips with their knobbly wobbly teeth.

There would be no change because I am always hungry.

Blowjobs would be even more enjoyable and have less risk of harm
- Wouldn't this mean every blowjob would have to be on a full stomach?
  If they get hungry while going down, do the teeth inflate like a balloon or, click up like a switch blade?
  
  Does ur dick click up like a switchblade???
- Found the spitter...

Doesn't saliva production increase in anticipation of food? Kinda like...

My teeth retract into my gums until I get hungry.
Yours don't?
- mine retract when i go to the swimming pool
  
  Shrinkage, SHRINKAGE!!!
- Only my fangs.

I can't decide if I love or hate this idea.
- Let me help you with an additional rule: horny and hungry hardening shall be coupled and only occur together or not at all.
  
  This calls for a pastrami sandwich.
  
  "We're eating out for dinner tonight"

Milkshakes would be a larger percentage of fast food sales.
- Mcdonald's would be out of business then.

It could be kinda nice to run your tongue over your squishy, deflated teeth between meals.
- And cleaning them might involve some sort of tooth sucker device to suck them clean between meals for all the hard to reach places.
  
  I'm gonna go suck my wife's teeth and see what her reaction is

Then I would be hard all the time in more ways than one.
- hard to reach?
  
  Hey it still counts.

relevant Nigel and Marmalade
- That is very relevant and hilarious 😁
  
  I love Nigel and marmalade so much. I didn't think I'd like it at first, but it's my favorite shorts series

If it's one to one how we get erect normally, and as the human body essentially inflates using blood, your teeth would ultimately be blood sponges. Seems impractical.
Of course, take it a step farther and maybe physiologically the blood hardens to a sharp point. I know some fantasy settings where bloodstone is a thing, so I guess that. If it was possible, it'd look sick as fuck.
- Or maybe our teeth retract using that as a mechanism?

36 comments