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The Onion @midwest.social

Xatolos @reddthat.com

1y ago

Iranian President Stoned To Death With Mountain

www.theonion.com

Iranian President Stoned To Death With Mountain

100 comments

- I wish I had the patience to go and post this in reply to every tankie I've seen today defending the "honour" of this piece of shit in the name of Iranians who they've convinced themselves they can speak for (yet somehow never speak up for their best interests, only in defence of their "great leaders" interests, curious.. 🤔🙄).
  
  Yeah, western tankies especially can be very weird. Meanwhile, the actual communist party of Iran has nothing good to say about him.
  Quote:
  The only regret of the people of Iran and the families of the survivors of the horrific crimes committed by the mercenaries of reaction and tyranny, over the death of Ebrahim Raisi, is that the opportunity for his historic trial in the not-too-distant future has been lost.
  
  What's a tankie? I keep seeing that term on Lemmy and nowhere else. I feel like I should know it by now.
  
  I’m so glad I don’t really see them much anymore
Alright, that one was pretty clever lmao
- This is the one time the onion has done something even a remote shred of clever. To tie into the topic of the article, I once stoned to death my pet goldfish after he was showing signs of age and that was more clever than anything that the onion has done in their near-36 year span of creating misinformation, or anything the veterinary clinic could've told me to do otherwise.
  
  You are aware that the onion is a satire piece and that they shouldn't be taken serious?
  
  Hey man. It looks like you have some built up angst towards The Onion or towards this topic
  It's fine if you're just letting some emotions out, but I just want to point out that the Onion is not trying to inform anyone. How can they spread misinformation if every article is clearly satire?
  You may find it to be a terrible joke but I don't get why this has caused you this much stress
  Would you care to elaborate?
Let he who is without sin throw the first helicopter.
- I remember the Taliban bitching that all the materiel (helicopters, humvees, etc) the US left behind at the airport had had grenades detonated in their engine compartments
  
  It's really more of a buffer overflow situation at this point.
Fucking legendary.
I've found a lot of Onion headlines pretty mid and uninspired recently, but this one is aces. No notes.
- They've been going pretty hard lately, it's great
- The new ownership group is Global Tetrahedron. According to their website, they were "born of the shadows, and are committed to control in all its forms." They've also donated "300,000 guns to underprivileged communities".
Threw the whole fucking planet at him, he musta done something to deserve it! :P
- Karma is a bitch.
  
  Karma is fiction
I saw the crash site in an aerial photograph and it looks like a big scorch mark. As if the devil reached a burning hand up out of the ground to personally invite them all down to their final destination.
- Really, no links?
- His devil is everyone elses god.
Actually, Iranian courts put a moratorium on stoning to death over 20 years ago, and the practice is still legal in American-allied Saudi Arabia.
- Yes indeed, what about the US.
- And the blinding, amputations and hanging?
  
  Fairly positive they're also legal in Saudi Arabia
Some background/ other info
https://www.npr.org/2024/05/20/1252418856/iran-interim-president-mohammad-mokhber
Fkn lol
And if so much as a beast touch the mountain, it shall be stoned
🧐
Will the zealots and their goons consider this a message from Allah, that their ways might be wrong?
Nah!
When Muhammad didn't go to the mountain...
F
- [X]
What next? Someone getting stoned to death by pluto???
- Someone getting stoned to death by grass?
Karma comes in many disguises
I told you she was funny.
Archangel Metatron
- More like not soon enough. Good riddance.
  
  I'm out of the loop. What did he do to be a shitty person?
- Why, are you mourning his death?
- No such thing as too soon.
  
  Comedy is all about timing.
  If they posted this in a month's time when no one cares it wouldn't be funny.
  If they posted this Friday before it happened that would just be prescient
  
  Not according to my girlfriend.
  Jk, I don't have a girlfriend.
- ehhhhhh......no. it's not.
- Why? You're still grieving?
Real bad taste
- He was an evil bastard who was second in command of a regime full of human rights abuse that meddles in and disrupts the entire region on a scale that previously required associating with a British monarch. To the point that there is a lot of footage of the people of Iran cheering in the streets.
  Fuck 'em.
  
  that meddles in and disrupts the entire region
  Are you talking about America? Because in every single instance Iran has been the stabilizing force, providing arms and training to local militias in order to defend themselves against America-backed threats including ISIS, the Saudis, and the IOF.
  
  Thank you for that bespoke political/historical burn, that just made my day
  meddles in and disrupts the entire region on a scale that previously required associating with a British monarch.
  
  To the point that there is a lot of footage of the people of Iran cheering in the streets.
  we're really doing this propaganda again? can we please get more interesting stuff than the "my people yearn for freedom from this tyrant"?
  
  Imagine being this deep into propaganda
- Of course it's .ml
  
  I don't think it was in bad taste but fuck off lib.
  
  of course it's a fed, posting from feddit!
  
  Every. Fucking. Time.
- Theocratic fascist go splat
- "How dare you talk bad about the Butcher of Tehran!"
- Nah this was funny.
- poor taste like 'killing off your political opposition' poor taste or like 'plaid with stripes' poor taste?
- Jokes are jokes.
- That's exactly what the bears at the area he crashed said.
- Nope. It was funny!
  Lighten up. It was a joke.
- That's nothing a bit of pepper can't fix.

100 comments