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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver @lemmy.world

9mo ago

Later, losers

82 comments

I would leave a comment but I'll be busy (with a girl, you wouldn't understand)
- I would upvote your comment, but I'll be with a real girl (I don't expect you to understand it)
  
  I would read your comment, but I'll be playing Factorio (I don't expect you to understand it)

lmao this is too good, I would laugh but I'll be too busy (because I'll be meeting a girl, not that you are really going to understand)
- A REAL ONE!

I don't understand :(
- (you wouldn't)

48 hours later
"Hey fellas."
- *minutes
  
  He realized that she also has discord

Must be so nice to know girls in real life.
By the way, I use Arch.
- Is it true they exist? I thought a woman was just a thing ai hallucinated up I didn't think they were real.
  
  The ai had to come up with the idea from somewhere. So women just might have existed at some point.
- I see, you haven’t met the female archers yet.
  
  Female archer... They have penetrating arrows too.
- I know wonan who uses Arch.

I know this is an unpopular take...but I'm cheering the guy on. He obviously needs to get laid. Like, really bad.
- I think he needs to fall on his face first, to lose the entitlement and degrading behaviour towards his (up until this point) friends.
  Then when he learns he can have another attempt.
  
  He might be like 12 y.o. then this show off is understandable ¯(ツ)/¯
- for the girl's sake I hope he doesn't
  (assuming it is not satire, but it probably is)
  
  For all of our sakes, I, too, hope he doesn't.

What's that? Another copypasta hot off the press? Don't mind if I do tyvm!
- Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. l'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where l am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again l don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, l have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone
- Image compression says otherwise.
- Feel like I've seen this before

Sounds like he doesn't understand.

If she’s in to condescending pricks, it’ll be a perfect match!
- Assuming she exists in the first place
  
  She totally does, she just goes to another Discord. I wouldn't expect you (an obvious virgin) to understand what it's like to have Real Human Girls be interested in you, but she's real (a real girl and also definitely human) and she wants him. She's just offline right now or she'd prove it.

And then.. the next day he will be back on discord for hours on end for days on end.

guys... call me crazy but... I think he will be meeting a girl
- I don't understand.
- NO WAY
- A real one mind you, none of that 2D
  
  A pillow is 3D, so it totally counts!

This guy fucks
- I don't think he does, too busy meeting up with a real girl

This whole thread was awesome. Thanks, feddies! Sincerely, a real female (way too old to call myself a girl, but in threads like this, I feel like one!)
- All the females I meet offline call themselves female as well, that's how I know this one is real.
  
  Hah! In another thread, I caught dune flack for saying "female." Thanks.
- It’s never too late to not be a grown up
  
  Thanks! I guess if I'm honest, I'm old, but my mind kind of flip-flops on whether it is old, so I usually opt for "female" when not assuming age (mine or anyone else's. Some women get nasty when you use a term that isn't their preferred category--and in my area, have the nerve to be offended when someone has preferred pronouns!).
  Tldr I'm a kid at heart.

Napoleon Dynamite reporting from the Internets...
- More like kip, but yeah

Hello guys today I just had very hot sex(not gay)(with a woman) and it was pretty fun I fucked her pussy(because she is a woman) and she said she enjoyed it a lot(with a female voice because she is a female). Anyways losing your virginity(to a woman) is very exciting and I hope to do it again(with a woman).
- You know, it makes me only think otherwise.

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand) @everyone
- What in the fuck

Clearly he's gay.
- Ugh if my
  gay-ass
  gay ass
  had had
  Discord in 7th grade, this is exactly the kind of bullshit propaganda I would have used to cover for myself
  
  Honestly this was so weird to read because of the line breaks, but it would have been way harder without them. Thanks for looking out!
  I hope your gay-ass gay ass had had a great day.
- It does sound like he's trying to convince himself.

Took her forever to get here from Canada.
- She's from one of the provinces, there's so many you wouldn't know it

Is this a mother's day post?
- We all know his Mum.
  Ahem. 😅

Needs more parentheses.
- (not that it would help)

I had a short phase like that in my early teens. I hate you for making me remember that.

@everyone

Your posts are the ones most likely to warm my heart, make me smile or even literally lol. This one did all three. Thank you, my friend. 3
- Ha, thanks! I'm just trying to do my part to add content to the fediverse.
  
  Very welcome! Thank you, too!
  
  The hero we want AND deserve
  
  🏅

I've met several. Would not recommend. Cooties, I believe you Yanks call them.

That's sweet she came in from Canada to visit him.
- What's the Joke with Canada?
  Is that the new Nigerian Prince?

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82 comments