Fatherly hazing

My favorite is sending an apprentice to the tool crib for a long weight.
Tool crib guy will say "Yeah it's out back, I'll go grab it", and then go for a smoke
- ==
  Sussed out the programmer guys!
- Is this how the apprentice becomes the tool crib guy?
  
  Naw, tool crib is an old-timer's job; it's for guys who know everything, but are too physically broken to actually do much anymore

In Germany we ask apprentices to fetch a spare bubble for the spirit level.
- That actually seems like it could be a legit thing, like a replacement tube.
- Spannungsabfalleimer gotta be my favorite.
  
  A tensioned trash can?
- Other classics are in aviation asking them to grab a bucket of prop wash, and then the numerous automotive ones like blinker fluid, muffler bearings, etc.
  
  We used to have ramp newbies handle the lavs as a sort-of right of passage. The Lav fluids we called “blue juice.” One day I told a newbie to go to maintenance and get a bucket of “red juice.” He disappeared for an hour. We were wondering where the hell he went about when he showed up looking a bit stressed out, actually carrying a bucket of red fluid of some sort. Apparently he started going around the entire airport’s maintenance shops asking them one by one for red juice, none of them knowing what the hell he was talking about. Instead of asking for clarification over the radio he just kept going. Eventually somebody in a completely different concourse poured some hydraulic fluid in the bucket for him. I was a bit astonished and then had to figure out what the hell I was going to do with a bucket of hydraulic fluid.
  
  Imagine my surprise to learn that exhaust fluid was real lol
- go get the breastplate stretcher!
  
  Bobby B! My man!
- When apprenticing as an electrician I was once sent back to the shop for the Wire Stretcher. Supply guy gave me a Come Along to take to my journeyman.
- That's a common one in the UK too!
- Getriebesand
- I just shake it as hard as I can. There ya go lotsa bubbles.

When I worked in a hardware shop in the 90s an apprentice mechanic came in and asked for halogen for headlight bulbs
I went into the storeroom and brought him one of those giant packing bubbles
He was chuffed as fuck
- My go-to is asking then for a metric crescent wrench.

My senior manager at work once tried to start a vacuum cleaner, apparently he had never used one before. Anyway the cleaners told him the power cable was in fact a rip cord like on a generator.

God I've been seeing way too much Gen Z slang that I almost forgot "sussed out" is a real phrase that means actual things.
- I'm familiar with the usage here but what does it mean to Gen Z?
  
  "sus" short for "suspicious," often linked to the video game Among Us which became very popular during the pandemic. I'm not sure if that was the origin; the Zoomers seem to like their abbreviations ("rizz" being short for "charisma" is another example) but Among Us definitely popularized it.
  
  Have you heard the term "sussy baka" before?
  
  Among Us shit related to being suspicious.
- Yea pretty common phrase here in the UK.
- Fucking hell man. That same statement came to me exactly when I read your comment. Glad to know I'm not the only one.
- But what does it mean?
  
  You should have sussed that out by now...
  
  Figured out.
  
  I guess you haven't groked it.
- Nah I've heard that term since I was a child and I'm 28. Not that far back but before Gen Z slang was a thing.

My friend’s dad thought he could send me to ask my dad for a square drill bit when I was like 10 but my dad had me helping him build an airplane in the garage as young as possible. So I told him
- "You mean a mortising bit?"
- https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61bLedj+QtL.jpg
  
  He was doing it as a trick though. The guy didn’t build anything besides maintain his motorcycle
  
  Are those really square or do they just stop drift?

All these comments analyzing the trauma behind a joke, no one mentioning the anger issues of kicking in the front door
- We should definitely overthink this.
- I mean, definitely some anger issues. But normally when they're kids, the anger issues (MOST of the time) come from the parents' parenting.
  Like unless you're chemically imbalanced (normally runs in the family, so people should know if they carry it, or have some other existing condition, that level of anger is a Nurture and not a Nature.
  My dad sent me out for headlight fluid and VW-20 elbow grease if you can't tell.
  
  or
  it could be a teen fresh into puberty underestimating their own strenght
- Should have taken the money and spent it all on the arcade.

there's something in computer networking called Cisco discovery protocol and I used to teach new interns about it by making them find every Cisco access point we had in the building.
- lmao that's awful
  But funny at the same time
- Router#Show cdp neighbor
  unless you fuck with naming convention and make them walk around with a wifi analyzer on their phone.
  
  late ass reply. but nah, no fancy naming, they absolutely could've done that (if they had opted to spend 30 seconds googling to find out that's something you can do) but for the most part they just wandered around looking up
- That’s better than sending the newhire back to HQ to get the cable stretcher.
- only cisco

On work experience the guy sent me to get a long weight and I was like to myself 'fine ill go look for something that doesn't exist and have my lunch too. If you want a long wait..' I go back and he gets off his ladder exasperated, goes to the van and gets a long string plumb line.
- What kind of work was this?
  Pardon my ignorance, I only know surveyors that use plumb bobs.
  
  Probably carpentry
  
  I think he was using it to align a speaker so that the cable drop would be vertical to the hole where the cable came out. It was something like that, it was about 25 years ago so details as hazy.

My high school chemistry teacher told me that when he was in university, they'd send the frosh chem majors down to the depot to get a "bucket of mercury". The depot guys would be in on it and fill up a bucket and laugh at them while they struggle to move it. Even a small bucket would weigh something like 200 lbs.
- That seems a bit much for a prank since mercury is a toxic substance.
  
  Not long ago they didn't care so much about that. He also talked about how they'd play with it with their bare hands. He's not dead because mercury is only toxic when ingested.
  Edit: in retrospect, he is dead. I forgot that cancer got him a few years back and that high school was 30 years ago...
  
  My chem teacher played with it with his hands. Wouldn’t let us tough it and said it was toxic so he immediately washed his hands.

Embarrassing someone for not knowing something is stupid.
- It's critical thinking. In life, it's not always about knowing but about understanding.
  It's also about having thick skin and the ability to take a joke. Nobody is hurt, it is funny when you think about it, and it will encourage you to think about things in the future.
  I do not need to know turn signals don't require blinker fluid. Because it's a fuckin light bulb.
  The people in this comments section are acting like this is somehow traumatic. How fucking sheltered are you people?
  
  Yeah it’s often done a bit to get you used to the environment which includes joking, but it’s also to make you think before you do.
  
  Someone sure picked on this guy for not knowing something and now he's rationalising it.
  
  To understand something (critically think) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example of the kid embarrassing the parent for some tech thing they don't know.
  The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
- It's a very good motivator for critical thinking though.
  
  It really isn't. Think about a kid embarrassing their parent over some tech thing they don't know.
  *Taking from my other reply:
  To understand something (think critically) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example on tech.
  The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
  
  We know that, through much study, it really isn’t. And the negatives outweigh the positives especially compared to other methods. It’s a trauma response more than anything at that point and if it does work they probably just used those skills to realize what an asshole the shamer was/is.
- I could see how sending a kid to the store might be a bit too far, but aside from that it's just harmless teasing. Nothing more than a mild practical joke.
  Kids can handle jokes. It's important to learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything seriously. Otherwise you just end up being boring and stuck up.
  
  How is it too far? At worst the kid got a bit of exercise.
  
  Otherwise you just end up being boring and stuck up.
  And apparently many of those people end up on lemmy.
- You gotta get those trust issues started early!
- Right, because we own our kids and can do with then what we please. Great take.
  
  I would never dare do that to my child because my parents never did such a thing with me so it feels so disrespectful.
  E: Guess I'm back with the unpopular opinion again. I'm not telling you what you should do, I'm telling you what I wouldn't do. But please, feel free to disrespect your children however you see fit. 🤭
  E2: ITT people who think that respecting their children is special treatment that needs to be treated by a professional. My condolences to their childhoods and their crotch goblins. The quality of responses is quite telling. Take your traumas out on me, it's ok.
- It's something a lot of building companies are trying to fight because it creates a toxic workplace where people are scared to look foolish so don't ask questions, they did studies and it's related to higher levels of workplace accidents and expenditures.
  I'm sure plenty of people will jump in to say that it separates men from boys or the normal excuses for bullying.
- I don’t disagree, but there are variations in how these go. This one here aounds like a friendly, good-natured way to teach a younger mind not to believe everything they hear
- I think there is an important lesson here though. It's not really about not knowing but not thinking. An inquisitive nature is hard to instill, jokes/games/play are ways humans communicate these abstract processes.
- Holy shit Lemmy is fragile
  
  People who were hazed often suffer empathy problems and emotion stunting.
  It could be that like many boomers you're just not aware of the damage generational trauma has caused you.
- As far as pranks go, this one's pretty harmless. The trick is not taking oneself too seriously.
- If the story's actually true, it's a harmless prank which doubles as some alone time for a quickie. His dad sounds slick as fuck.
- I agree, jokes like this are for mean-spirited people. Could you take a second and file the report with Lemmy HQ for the both of us? Last I knew the main report inbox was on the fediverse sidebar.

On a drive when I was ten, I asked my dad why the tall, skeletal towers had blinking lights. He said so planes wouldn’t crash into them. So I asked what the towers were for, and he said to hold up the lights.
That fucked with me for like ten more years.
- I just wanted to let you know this comment made me laugh like an idiot in front of my coworkers
- I mean, he's not wrong...

We did trash bags for exhaust testing in the army. Have the privates fill the bags up from the exhaust on a cold start, tie them up, then bring them to the motor pool sergeant. You have to label and sign the bags though.
- That is something that could actually be a thing though.

The Scoutmaster of my troop got a kick out of sending new kids to the camp nurse to ask for "some fallopian tubes so we can start a fire".
- And what would you have done if they actually returned with some?
  
  Imagine the nurse goes in on it and gave them something. That would be somebody who ends up on "Tell me something someone convinced you was true but you realize later in life was bullshit"
  Actually, we need a bunch of people to do that. Start seeding future content. In like 20 years it'll pay off.

In the British army, getting sent to the quartermasters stores for a long weight (wait).

I live in Quebec and we're pretty bilingual around here so I've heard these hazing jokes in both languages. My favorite in French is sending an apprentice for "une clé taurus".
- Eh new guy la ouien toien mon'tit sauce. Vien-cit câlis. Cherche moien une Clé Taurus à home depot. Ouien une C L É T A U R U S. Les chums aux "service desk" va savoir c'est quoi. Away let's go crisse.
  
  Beautiful.
- A Taurus key?
  
  It sounds like clitoris and it's funny when they go ask people if they have one.
  
  Sound it out
- A bull? Or is that a misspelling or torus, meaning donut shape?
  
  It's funny because they ask dudes if they have a clitoris and we are big children.

When I was a starting line cook, they told me to recirculate the air in the freezer. I said "what?" They said "recirculate the air in the freezer." while handing me one of those giant black trash bags. I opened the door to the freezer, opened up the bag fully, and then went "wait a minute..." they had a laugh, and I started eyeing all of their requests through the lens of "is this bullshit?"
Later on, at more professional jobs, they have the same sort of requests. Not ones that are hazing jokes, but just actual bullshit assignments that mean very little, are looked at by nobody, and that accomplishes nothing. Except now those assignments are like 90% of the job. Hooray office work among middle management!
- Kitchens will also yell at new cooks to "GO GET THE LEFT HANDED FRYING PANS!!!"
  
  If they’re yelling/aggressive about it, it’s not as funny. People are just going to feel pressured which is lame compared to someone subtly making a ridiculous request that has every right to be questioned
- You're lucky, my first day working at McDonald's when I was 16. They made me MOP the freezer.
  Which I did, very well. It had an inch of ice on the floor when I was finished.

While camping, I was sent to the ranger station to ask for a “left handed smoke shifter”. Fortunately for me, the ranger had no poker face and just laughed. I felt like a dumbass, but it was a long walk back to the campsite, so by the time I got there I was able to laugh with everyone else.
- Legend has it there was a boy scout troop that actually built a left-handed smoke shifter, such that when a young scout arrived from a different troop searching for one, they could send him back successful.
- My group extended the name to "left handed automatic adjustable smoke shifter."

"Bring the 13-14 key" is a basic mechanic's joke.
Note: in mm.
- I don't get it?
  
  Fixed keys are 12-13 and 14-15. 13-14 doesn't exist.

The only thing of this ilk that I've participated in is sending interns to the supply room for a box of checkmarks.
Joke was on them. There was no supply room.

New hires are usually sent to get the "board stretcher". The wild goose chase will take them everywhere in the shop and sometimes as far as the owners, who politely send them back around to some section they'd already been.
- Imperial, adjustable, left handed wrench. Or left handed any common hand tool (hammer, spanner, screwdriver...). Muffler bearing. Light bulb for the crank case. Blinker fluid. The list goes on.
  And, within reason, I think those are pretty decent pranks. No one gets hurt, many get a good laugh out of it, including the one looking for a two headed hammer if executed properly.

Petahh!!
Seriously, I don't get the joke.
- His dad sends him to the shop to ask for red and white striped paint, which doesn't really exist as the paint would mostly mix together in the tin and make some badly mixed pink paint. The employee in the shop sees this is a gag and asks a follow up question: would he like the paint to be striped vertically or horizontally? So they are on the way back and only *then the realisation dawns on them that this is a massive wind up, which sparks a rage large enough to break the door.
  
  Dad needed some private time with Mom
  
  I read the post feeling tired, so somehow, I was thinking that the red and white paint are in each separate tin bucket and the white paint is somehow striped so I didn't get the joke.
  Haha thanks for the explanation!

When I painted, it was a thing to send new guys out to the van for a can of roller stipple. Good times.

I used to work in a hardware store. One day a guy came in looking for a skyhook.
After we called his boss to confirm the situation (this was well before cell phones), we all had a good laugh. I think the boss was shocked he fell for it.
- They aren't cheap but you can certainly order them https://etel-tuning.eu/produkt/siemens-lufthaken/
  
  Lol
  Siemens air hook Rated 4.07 out of 5 based on 14 customer reviews ( 14 customer reviews)
  1.200.000.000,00 €
  The original Siemens air hook is back!

Shopkeeper should glue a fake label to a can and actually sell it to the kid. Get both the kid and the dad lol

Go find the breastplate stretcher! NOW!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6O8YF4j55dw

I was crossing the street with my mom once and the crosswalk beeped indicating it was safe to cross. She asked, "Why does it beep like that?" I said, "It's for the deaf people." We crossed and then she started laughing. She said, "You asshole.".

At school in Scotland, one art teacher would send the kids to see the other art teacher to ask if they had any tartan paint left. Alternatively, he would send them to go and ask for a long stand.
- I've heard of the long wait before.
  
  My father (who was in the armed forces) once got asked to fetch "the keys to the indoor mortar range"

Always fun to send the apprentice to the tool crib for a spool of flight line and a gallon of prop wash.
- Gallon of prop wash, that's a new one for me.
  I'd have probably been caught by that one for at least a few paces.

Don't forget your headlight fluid!