The IT experience?

When things go right: "WHAT ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR?!?"

When things go wrong: "WHAT ARE WE PAYING YOU FOR?!?"

The secret to a healthy career in IT is to let things break just a little every once in a while. Nothing so bad as to cause serious problems. But just enough to remind people that you exist and their world would come crumbling down without you.
- Especially if its a system that you have told management needs to be replaced but they aren't interested in spending the money..
- I get really fucking tired of justifying work. Like, I have delivered every single project I've ever been given ahead of schedule. But every time a new project comes up, higher level managers want all these update meetings to check up on the status, discuss risk factors that might prevent it from being delivered, and a bunch of other bullshit. You're the risk factor, motherfucker, you and your meetings. Get the fuck out of my way and I'll deliver it ahead of schedule just like literally every other project I've ever been in charge of. Quit feeling that you need to be involved! You don't. You're a road block that provides no value. Ugh!
- Acting like the user won't just break things for you, welcome to IT, you must be new.
- Where I'm from we call that Laissez-faire IT
- And also install Adobe reader.

Permanently Deleted

Sounds like it's time to give a little insider info on the company network to hacking groups.
- It's not even necessary, they will find everything on their own
- Permanently Deleted
More like they ignore all your suggestions and then blame you when they inevitably get hacked.

Would be a fun series to watch, wizards trying to run a functioning castle under a king who doesn't understand the importance of anything magical.

Well, fun for me. Might be some high blood pressure and early heart attacks for IT folks who have to live it.

"A dragon has never attacked the castle. Why do we even have a wizard?"

"A dragon is attacking the castle. Why do we even have a wizard?"
BBC series Merlin was a little like this. King Uther hated magic, Prince Arthur was kinda against it because he was told it was dangerous, but didn't exactly hate it himself. Meanwhile Merlin took a job as a servant, doing magic-y things to protect him. Wasn't a great series (writing), but it had enjoyable aspects.
- I mean, it got 5 full seasons. It wasn’t terrible by any means.

In 2017, I jumped ship to a new job as they were transitioning to cloud server everything. The genius CTO (who was the owners wife) pushed for it, quoting they can save a lot of money.

Then she fired half the IT staff.

Two years later and a few major security hacks/ransomware events, they had to hire even more IT folks to unfuck their cloud setup.

I had something like this happen at a corp I once worked at. The CTO said they were going to outsource their entire datacenter and support staff to India.

I literally laughed in his face and obviously, got fired (always have 6-8 months of salary as an emergency fund, ahem-).

I won't name the company but when half the Internet went down and a few major services? Yeah, it was that asshat driving and running between the datacenters realizing people in Bangladesh can't do shit for you physically.

It's like that graph: "Say we want to fuck around at a level 8, we follow this axis, and we're going to find out at around a level 7 or 8"
- I visited a company that outsourced its IT to India. We were delayed 24 hours because the guy who could whitelist our computer on their network was asleep. It was the middle of the night where he lived.
Two years
A few major events

My god, they must've really fucked up their shit
- Not a difficult task to not secure a cloud setup. And if it's publicly reachable, you will quickly find yourself involuntarily participating in an automated vulnerability scan.
- Not really, it’s really amazing how fast things to go shit if you just stop patching or don’t follow best practices
- Ah actually that's a typo. I meant to say "A few years.." implying around 2020-2021. Sorry about that.
Digital karma.

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

Damn you, the photo didn't load and I thought I'd be the first one. Time to start my own comment chain, with blackjack and hookers.

That's a common reporting problem, there have been no "successful" attacks, you show value/work by making sure to note all the unsuccessful ones.

Prints a 10m scroll daily containing automated probes and attacks
- Weekly report that says XXXX attempted/failed attacks of X type, of y type, etc. and the ability to produce the 70m scroll and generally talk about the stuff on request.
- Unironically it might work. Have a filing cabinet with all the attacks that you can point too.

My current company's IT team does not know what CAMM RAM is, does not recognise an nvme ssd inside a laptop, and still talk to us like we're idiots. I hope you guys here are better than them!

CAMM RAM is nowhere near mainstream yet so that's understandable. NVME should be known though.

Don't forget to praise them every day for your company not spontaneously combusting.
- Yeah, its specification was finalised only 6 months ago.
- Oh but it did burn down too! Turns out that installing Microsoft product on everything does not protect you from cyber attacks (rather the opposite).
  
  But now I'm protected from the very dangerous UDP packets the machines we sell send, much safer.
The worst. Our IT is outsourced to some bottom-of-the-barrel garbage company, and they both have no idea what they are doing and work in a different timezone, so you have to wait a working day for responses like ‘did you try turning it off and on again?’. Everyone just emails the head of IT with their issues, which defeats the whole point of the system.
- Same. At some point, I learned that the bottom-of-the-barrel garbage company, that does our IT support, is apparently one of the most successful IT support companies on the planet.
  
  I guess, the way to get there, is to not actually provide IT support. You just have to get paid for it.