Me too, stove, me too...

I recently realized it was taking way longer than normal to cook because front right is not doing so good.

I don't love front left, but he's a hard worker.

Front right is the small one, only for coffee and sauce. Front and back left are normal ones, of course front gets way more use than his twin brother.
Back right is practically new, it's bigger than the left twins but smaller than center daddy.
- Hol' up, you've got one in the center?
- Gotta keep one in reserve.
- I've started using the back left now that I've been using a cast iron griddle frequently.
It ain't much, but it's honest work.

Induction stove masterrace reporting in

I usually have all of them on, I just dont light them until I need them

KA-BEWM!
- I'M A BLOODY SCOTTISH CYCLOPS!

Front-left for me, with back-right doing some work too

My front right burner has only two temperatures: off and hotter than the surface of the sun!!!!! Therefore it is relegated to boiling water and pasta cooking duties.

I used to have an old electric stove that you had to turn on before you even started to chop vegetables, but then you could turn it off and it would stay at the melting point of tungsten for an hour.
- Those are so fun. My roommates used to make fun of me because one time I forgot it was still hot and melted the lid from a plastic storage bowl. :/

Back left burner crew represent!

What kind of psychopath uses a back burner as their primary?
- People with kids
- Back have larger burners if you have induction, and kids, no handles accidentally sticking out either even if you don’t have kids.
- It reduces the risk of hitting a handle and having things fly off the stove.
- Stir with the right, hold the pan with the left, and stop the kids from pulling hot food on their heads.
- Those whose front burners are of the smaller variety, sadly no option to swap them without tearing down the whole kitchen.
- I bet he's left handed too.
- You have a "primary" spot? Different sizes for different sized pots and pans, bro. (Induction hob.)
My front burners are dual electric, so o only use then with large pans. Back ones are smaller, and i have a little one between the back burners that just stays warm.
Front left holds my cast iron, back left gets kettle duties, front right boils water and gets big sauce pans, while the back right melts butter or other tasks that need a small pan

ITT: No one cleans their burners

One time I cleaned a burner and broke it somehow.
- If it is not visibly broken, you could just have clogged it with the cleaning agent. This did happen to me some times and whar helped was rubbing a damp cloth in it to dissolve the soap. Hope it helps!
I did this yesterday.

As an appliance repair man this hits hard! 😂

FYI, if you have an electric coil stove the elements wear out over time but they're super easy to replace - you basically just unplug it and plug in a new one and they're pretty cheap, you can get a set of 4 for US$35.

I just replaced my front right coil and I still have issues with uneven heating, so while it's true they wear out, it is not always the problem.
What if they are embedded in glass?
- It's doable but it's more work and the heating elements are not standardized/common, you'll have to get the right part from the manufacturer (assuming they still make it for your stove model).
Came here to say this. Or just switch the one burner for the one you don’t use.

I accidentally left the kettle going at full-power for 6 hours after all the water evaporated once and it hasn't been the same since...

I'm a front-left kinda gal.

What movie is this meme from?

I'm not entirely sure, but i believe it's from The Green Mile. Good movie, if you want to feel the feels.
The green mile (1999)
The green mile, I think
A man named coffee.

The back right burner: 🧖

Great for making Alfredo sauce!

First boisterous laugh of the day. Thanks!

We use 3 of our stove burners, and never touch the other. So for me, I guess one of mine is very lonely.

Burner? On a stove?

Looks at the immaculate glass expanse... There hasn't been anything burning here for decades.

But seriously, don't burn gas in the house, especially on a stove where it burns in the house's atmosphere. It doesn't burn clean, it contains lots of toxic shit which is released in your home. Consider switching to induction which performs similarly and cheaply as it's very efficient.

I didn't realize this when I moved into my first apartment, a small studio with a gas stove, and the first month or so I couldn't figure out why I felt sick so often.
If you have a proper vent above the stove, use it. If you don't, or if like me you just have a fan above the stove that pushes the air back into the room, open your windows and use a fan whenever you're cooking. It's made a huge difference for me.
- I hope whoever designed the first "oven vent that just blows the air into the room" had kids that ruined everything that person bought with whatever money they made for that waste of materials and apparent permission it gave to cheap builders to not bother with kitchen vents to the outside.