Jesus, help me!

“And when you saw two pairs of footprints on the beach, my child... that wasn’t you and me, it was just me. Galloping majestically.”
- Jesus was carrying the dinosaur, which is why you don’t see the dinosaur footprints, because dinosaurs didn’t exist.
  But they only didn’t exist in order to test our faith.
  
  Jesus spent those misssing years casting bones out of special concrete, sailing around the world, and burying them for future archeologists.

Jesus, take the ~~wheel~~ legs
- That would be his third leg he is holding. What number four is from, I haven't a clue.

AI photos have taken Facebook by storm. So many are very obviously fucked up looking and not real, but the sheer stupidity of the masses shines as strong as ever. I even stumbled into a weird genre of AI-generated pictures of motorcycles built entirely from wood planks, usually with a toddler sitting on one and a caption like "Make this myself!", and the comments section is absolutely bursting with morons praising how wonderful the craftsmanship is. The only part of these photos that even looks life-like is the kid. And yet..
- I keep seeing this picture with a penguin spotted at the grocery store claiming its northern Canada. Entire comment section in awe
  We don't even fucking have penguins in this hemisphere
  
  I mean... Zoos are anything.
  
  HEY! We technically have one (1).
- Damn now I kinda wanna see one of those.

Why does he not simply walk on the water?
- Too heavy with four legs!
  
  But also four feet. That means he has more surface area to spread the weight across this time around.
- Are you questioning Jesus? demon

I got midjourney to make this to see if it could make a realistic photo of the crucifixion, I should start telling Christians that it's a still taken from the Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.
- Amazing that he has the skin tone of a Scandinavian who has never felt the touch of sunlight in his bones.
  
  The model is only as knowledgeable as its training data.
- This is impressive
- Those shadows don't make sense
  
  When you've got someone saying things like: "I am the light" clearly we're beyond the particle/waveform level of confusion.
  
  Elbows are too sharp
- Did you choose the 1960's style color processing, or did midjourney?
  Chronovisor the Vatican has hidden away.
  I never once considered that the Vatican might have actual powerful artifacts and/or SCP-level objects tucked away.
  
  I asked it for a colourised photo jounalistic footage, it decided that style. .
  That throne the pope has feels like some sort of SCP.
- Needs more dinosaur
- The left guy is wearing a bike helmet though
  
  The buses weren't running that day.
  
  Taken from a screenshot of 1970s Jesus Christ Superstar movie.
- Actually a really good AI picture
  
  Which part?
  The ropes going nowhere? The weird perspective? The incredibly elongated forearm? Or the fact that it's a white Jesus that looks like a carving which isn't at all accurate?

I imagine the prompt being like show Jesus carrying his two penis legs through floodwaters
- Why is “two penis legs” making me laugh so fucking hard
  
  It's funny because penis.

You see, you can tell it's fake because Jesus isn't real (and also doesn't have a spare pair of sexy lady legs)
- Those could be a guys legs.
  
  we need one of them feet guys to weigh in
- That’s not a leg 😏

- Open your mind....
  Open your mind...
  Open your mind....
  
  Most of us use "mind" to refer to intellect. The thing we think with, where all the ideas are.
  But the Buddhists are referring to your "attention". Like a flashlight, you direct it at stuff. Sights, sounds, thoughts, etc.
  That's 2 quite different things. "Open your mind" is a different thing there.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqeD69k-DDQ
- It's not a toomah!

Maybe the people on your Facebook are also AI/bots. It's just one big circle of bots posted altered photos and responding to them.

I've seen something similar in YouTube shorts. AI generated white jesus avatars with TTS speech talking about how if you love christ you have to comment "amen" to be saved.
It's fucking weird.
- Well that's one way to feed the algorithm with comments. And apparently it works since you got to see the videos.
- ‭Acts 16:25-31 ESV‬ [25] About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, [26] and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s bonds were unfastened. [27] When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. [28] But Paul cried with a loud voice, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.” [29] And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. [30] Then he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” [31] And they said, “Comment 'Amen' on my latest TikTok, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
- The Warhammer lore where people worship an AI as literal God suddenly seems so realistic!
- I guess having your critical thinking overriden by fear (of going to hell), isn't... The best.
- I used to see one that literally said "Jesus wants you to download [this app]." Creepy af.

So, I had a quick look at the people commenting on the post, and they all seem to be real people, with a post history etc.
NPC behaviour, truly.

Why were the bus drivers all on the same bus?
- How else are the bus drivers gonna get to the bus store.

JESU
- 24

How many Korean bus drivers does it take to escort a six-toed Galilean to... where is Jesus going btw?
- He's going to JESU 24
  clearly
  
  Ahhhhhhh, I get it. JESU 1 had problems so he had to go to JESU 2 to heal him. Unfortunately JESU 2 also had problems that were beyond the combined powers of him and JESU Prime which caused JESU 3 to come into existence. So this here is JESU 23, he's just fixed JESU 22's shit but he's a bit unsteady walking on water with the extra limbs so he's off to see JESU 24.
- Flood water's risin'. Clearly, they're headed to Noah's boat. That and Korean bus-drivers were deemed the only truly selfless and chosen ones for the rapture to come.
  
  The beoseu unjeonsa came in ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah!

Just a picture of typical jesus, helping those who help themselves

the feed is full of those AI Jesus pictures like this and thousands of comments saying “Amen”.
I'm worried. Should I be worried?
2000+ years ago, literature didn't exist in the way it does today. A book was only writable/readable to those that were literate, whom were in the overwhelming minority. I can appreciate how such an incomprehensible thing, said to contain the very word of god, might be considered practically magic in its own right. Today, all that's demystified mostly because nearly all of us understand that writing is just a form of technology, and learn so as small children.
Now, we have a brand new incomprehensible thing that can churn out religious iconography with the push of a button.
- propaganda always existed. People have pictures of white & blonde jesus in their homes. Jesus was midde eastern. Didn't need AI for that.

Jesus was a hermaphrodite centaur. Amen

Too traumatized, Jesus evolved away from virgin birth, but his demonstration of asexual reproduction was interupted by another flood.

Oh, just get back on the bus and drive. It's so shallow he's not even bothering to walk on it.

This is what happens when you let your son of God be a Sons of the Forest.

Oh shit! It's Supply Side Jesus! Look, he's showing us how to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps!

I liked it when people were posting ai pictures of Jesus stealing ipads and shoplifting and stuff.

six limbs! He's technically an insect
- Some sort of praying mantis?

There's only one bus line that gets you to heaven every time!*
JESU 24
*Fuck off if there's flooding.
- Jesus' dad decided to do global flood 2.0 and leave his only son there. mwhahahaha

I HATE IT when I have to hold my extra legs so they don't get wet

When nobody is there to save you and you need to save yourself.

They are getting better with the number of fingers.

Amen

So are we all ignoring how the hand holding up the leg (not both, just the one). Is growing right out of the same leg it's allegedly supporting?
- That's why he's looking at it so intensely with his one eye
- There's some lesson here about Jesus being a little selfish, or maybe about Jesus pulling Himself up to help others, or something like that.