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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

Nakoichi [they/them] @hexbear.net

12mo ago

FUCKING WHAT?!

https://twitter.com/sethharpesq/status/1764452354387018066

64 comments

Least suspect Fort Bragg soldier

My friend told me to stop ordering cocaine via the mail. I told him he was disrespecting a future US army soldier.

You can mail order coke now?! What a time to be alive!
- might even be harder today than it was like 10 years ago when silk road was operating and cops didn't know what bitcoin was
  
  came onto this thread thinking about just that
  those were the days
  we also used to be able to mail order psychedelic truffles from the netherlands due to some legal gray area or something? Idk we did it a bunch and never got arrested. Checked a few years ago if this was still possible and it's not
  they just don't want the kids to have any fun these days
  
  The golden age
- I want amazon drone delivered coke
  
  . A new evolution in human development.
  
  Drones already deliver it in prisons
  
  Except it comes from some company you can't find any presence for online, the instructions tell you to "ingest via nasal for ultimate gratification" and the reviews are 10,000 identical copy pasted "arrived on time, very satisfied" comments

So...why is military recruitment struggling in the US again? Promises of "Free drugs" and "Be immune the law" would get their numbers right back up.
- Fun fact: Genghis Khan distributed "be immune to law" priviledges to his commanders, but those were very rare, considered to be among the highest honours, were valid once or twice and military law was exempted from this.
  
  you can walk from one side of the empire to the other with a golden plate upon your head... unless Subutai really wants it & cashes in his good boy points
  
  TIL. I guess sometimes you just need extra privileges to cut through the red tape. And by "red tape" I mean the Khwarazmian Empire.

The guy telling you white privilege doesn't exist
- He has textured hair and beard - I don't want to be a phrenologist here but there's a good chance he's just light-skinned or mixed-race.
  Not saying white privilege doesn't exist but this may not be an example of it.
  
  The document gives his name as Michael Acevedo, so he is probably Latino.
  I think the more straightforward answer here is imperial military privilege.
  
  when you're ambiguous, you are what the cops think you are

"Brave freedom fighter arrested for trying to have a good time"

Just a dude living his best life. Why go out for coke when it can be delivered to your doorstep? Guys thinking on a completely different level.

lol, lmao
What is it with Fort Bragg? Is it just because it's so big, or is there something about it that makes it the "Florida" of US Army bases?
- Probably.
  It's the most vile base in the empire, I swear there's always some fucked up shit going on there.
- rotating schedule of covert psychological torture experiments. one week it's LSD in the orange juice, the next it's replacing all the toilet paper with a single pumice stone.
  
  lol what????
- Headquarters for JSOC. There's a journalist that's been doing great coverage of their stuff for the last 5-7 years. I think Rolling Stone's published their stuff but they've done appearances on True Anon & QAA to talk about it.
  Seth Harp is his name I think, this might be the first article but he's written like 5 or more: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/fort-bragg-murders-1153405/
  
  Seth Harp is his name I think
  Yup, he's the one tweeting in the post lol

If i could get heroin delivered to my fucking home address I'd be back on the needle and dead within a week.
- back in the brief golden age of this kind of thing having that kind of access actually helped me permanently kick the habit
  i was so used to inconsistent connects and being run around and buying as much as possible that finally having one click access meant budgeting, planning, and controlled transition to kratom
  
  The Silk Road. Your one stop shop for everything illegal.

Uhh, I think you mean Fort LIBERTY!
- You have no idea lol

breaking news: he has plead Not Guilty on the grounds that he din't know it was iwwegaw
- HOW
  
  In his defence the army does illegal shit all the time so he probably just thought they would issue him a get out of jail free card

Can I just get coke mailed to me? Why did no one tell me this???

Yeah uh that's basically all they do at Fort Bragg don't google "soldier deaths fort bragg"
- fort bag is built entirely outta kilo bricks

"Your honor you said it was fine last time I did this, I'm still in the army so this should still be ok."

ah so this is the freedom in america, freedom for oppressors
- There really is an emoji for everything on this site

This actually probably the best way to get coke delivered. US domestic express mail needs a warrant to be opened and if he sent it to a different address but still gets caught then he gets a mail fraud charge on top of it.

64 comments