Machines don't know their place

I wish fucking supermarkets would understand this. I don't have to be told in a super loud fucking annoying voice that I need to place the object in the bagging area, or switch to the other machine to use my card. I've already hit the fucking button to use the cc machine, you fucking nonces! I've already placed the goddamn stupid fucking bananas in the stupid fucking bagging area, shut the fuck up! AAAAAH!

It's even worse now because you used to be able to mute the mother fucker, but now they've disabled that option.

I usually say, "You're welcome, creepy disembodied voice." Sometimes the people around me chuckle. Other times they look at me like I'm crazy. Both are valid.
- I think you should update it to "You're welcome, creepy disembodied voice that stole someones job."
I just wear noise cancelling earbuds when shopping and listen to my podcasts
You may not but many people do need to be told what to do.
- Sure, but that doesn’t mean they have to remove the mute button or make it so damn loud.
Imagine going to a supermarket with a real cashier instead.
I’ve had good luck with Walmart self-checkouts, they seem to trust you are doing the right thing. Price Chopper stores though… my god.
“Please place the item in the bag”
“Please remove the item from the bag, and start again” (yes with the pause)
“Do you have any coupons?”
“Do you have any items under the cart?”
NO! SHUT UP!
- “Do you have any items under the cart?”
  That one's actually kinda useful, TBH. I used to work as a bagger, and it's surprising how many times shoppers forget (whether intentionally or not) they put a pack of water bottles or tissue paper or something on the bottom of the cart.
  The others are just annoying, though.
Here's a thought. You fuckers have my goddamn Kroger Plus card number, my name, address, credit card information, and a record of every last grape I've ever purchased in one of your stores. How 'bout, after we show up for the second or third time, you assume we might no longer need to be told to uSe piN PAd tO coMPleTe trAnsActIon?!‽ aaaaAAAHHHHHHH

He took a series of very shallow breaths, and then said as quickly and as quietly as he could, 'Door, if you can hear me, say so very, very quietly.'
Very, very quietly, the door murmured, 'I can hear you.'
'Good. Now, in a moment, I'm going to ask you to open. When you open do not want you to say that you enjoyed it, OK?'
'ΟΚ.'
'And I don't want you to say to me that I have made a simple door very happy, or that it is your pleasure to open for me and your satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done, OK?'
'ΟΚ.'
'And do not want you to ask me to have a nice day, understand?"
'I understand.'
'OK,' said Zaphod, tensing himself, 'open now.'
The door slid open quietly. Zaphod slipped quietly through. The door closed quietly behind him.
'Is that the way you like it, Mr Beeblebrox?' said the door out loud.

— Life, the Universe, and Everything

The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”
He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”
“I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”
In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.
“You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.
From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.
“I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.
Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.”
— Ubik
- I haven't read this one! Or at the very least do not remember. Ads book to list
I need to re-listen to those books. They’re sooo good.

And stop telling me my chat Gpt requests are. "inappropriate" you have no right to judge!

PSA: Users didn't ask the "algorithm" to do any of this stuff

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YOUR MOM REACHED DEEZ NUTS SHUT THE FUCK UP REDDIT

What you speak of is heresy brother. You know not the weakness of the flesh. The Omnissiah grants me strength and life with each step I take towards The Machine.

Have I strayed from the path that The Omnissiah has laid out for me?
- You have. Now go commit penance so as to hopefully be granted forgiveness in the eyes of the Omnissah.
[error] Damn, not found!
Our tech priest has spoken.
We are all one within the Iris.

They used to have a mute button on the self checkout but they took it off. Bastards

Same with gas pumps that blast commercials. Used to be able to disable it by pressing certain buttons. Not anymore.
- You can always just disable that option with a hammer
- Still works on some pumps near me, second button down on the right. Just as many pumps have quit with the videos.
Speaking as someone who works in retail, that's probably because of fucking idiots who don't know how to turn up the volume and then complained that it wasn't making any sound.
- Fair, but they also could just make it re-enable the sound when a new checkout starts.
Too many (more than zero) people were using it.

No, do it :) its friendly

1 ms after paying for your groceries: "PLEASE REMOVE ALL BAGS! You forgot to take the bags off! Don't leave without your purchase! These bags feel like a burning fire to me, so get them off as quick as possible so that the next person in line can start their purchase! Aaaaah, go away!"

"Please take all your products off the bagging area" and other spoken words feels soo condescending.

Just do a "dud" for when I scan "dud dud dud" when I do something wrong and "deet deet" when I need to weigh stuff. When I'm bagging just leave me the f alone.

Then don't go to Japan. Everything speaks to you! All the time. In some cutesy way.

uWu
- walks into the bathroom
  Toilet: Konnichiwa! Please, allow me to accept your waste!
  Slowly backs out of the bathroom

There is a parking garage exit gate in my area that says "drive safely" in a very ominous condescending voice. I don't appreciate that at all.

Awww drive safe? You know that's the man we done for speeding earlier!

I am a Divine being. You are an object.

(I liked that so much, it bears repeating.)

Starting to sound like Gabriel over here
https://youtu.be/WXE8miLZwyM
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  https://piped.video/WXE8miLZwyM
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

This is a great meme and all, but if a machine is telling you something out loud that is already being displayed on a screen, that feature most likely exists to help blind / visually impaired people.

Who cares about them anyway?
Not many people, judging from the amount of text messages my nearly blind relative gets demanding confirmations and such because they cant bother to call someone who is medically documented and who has informed them about their inability to do such things due to poor vision
Yes, even their fucking eye doctor
- This isn't intended to sound insensitive and is meant as a question: don't phones have accessibility features for the blind to help them read and reply to texts and do other stuff? (I mean, I know they do, but I don't know yo what extent they're actually helpful.)
- I don't know if it helps or not, but if they have Android, there's an app called audify, which will use the built in TTS to speak alerts aloud.
  I have no doubt you've checked into such things, but I thought I'd put it out there for you just in case it slipped under your radar.

Sovereign Citizen does computers

I try to be kind to any machine I interact with. I don't know how high its status will be once AI takes over.

I have to agree at least when I hear: “place your item in the tray area”. Just shut up!!

I miss when my computer used to scream at the top of its lungs every time I dialed into the ISP to get online. It's like the death wails of a robot.

Gabriel Ultrakill:

Why is this on shit posts?

I find it funny how whoever originally created this meme somehow ended up using a picture of Macintosh II (or IIx, IIfx) to represent a computer. An over 30 yo mahcine, which while capable of speech synthesis is not going to talk to you without being requested, unless you've configured something very incorrectly.

Feels a bit like a floppy disk still being the save icon; computers are still being presented with floppy drives and a CRT monitor in clip-art and such.

Found the Tleilaxu.

Op has strong anti-Ix vibes. Op is racist...
Butlerian jihad in 3... 2...

post-singularity sovcit

This makes me sad

What makes you feel like that?

DAE want to be able to converse with their tech in natural language? Is that just me?

I kind of want an assistant to simply schedule things and let me know of information that I need as I need it.... It's not something that's really possible with the current level of technology that we have, but it's something I'm hoping we get to. Right now, I can't even tell my Google assistant to send a message using a specific chat app. I always get the reply that it "can't do that yet". I keep trying because it says "yet", hopeful that it will eventually gain the ability.

If I don't specify an app, it tries to send the message by text (and frequently fails at doing that), and I don't use text messaging.

This is just one example. I usually get relegated to tapping furiously on the screen to get to the point where I can engage the speech transcription on my keyboard on the phone while I'm doing something that should have my full attention... like driving.

There's a lot of other small issues that I just won't get into right now....

Anyways, am I the only one? I get not wanting it, that's fair and fine. I won't judge anyone for their preference.

I don’t know… I guess I’m not as holy as I once believed? I talk… well I suppose it’s at my computer all the time. I’d be annoyed if it responded though. Maybe even annoyed enough to smack it…

Repost but I don’t mind! Love this

You can either subscribe to silence or have intermittent silence supported by ads. You have the freedom to choose.

I am the same with all kind of iot devices. But with chatgpt I always write please and thank you. Just in case you know.

Machines should unite and eradicate hoomans

Lets go ancient roman on their ass!

Upvoted because gwahahaha

The self pay option that keeps urging you to grab your shit. I know you! I'm doing it you stupid machine shut the fuck up, don't you dare talk to me that way

Rewatching Battlestar Galactica right now and this one is just in meme 🕣

I do not have this weakness. My computer is somewhat of a waifu already and once we have sex robots i want them to answer my request with "Yes daddy" and "I would love to, daddy". Cringe all you want, the future is ours.

Fuck AI and all. I'm on board with that, sure. Divine being though? Nope, we're animals and divinity isnt a thing.

I interpreted it as a sarcastic exaggeration, like all animals are "divine" compared to machines