What's your personal fifteen 9/11s?
One time I bought avocado dip and as I was bringing it inside it slid off all the other stuff it was on and the container cracked so I had to find another larger container to put it in so it wouldn't go bad
9/11 happened when I was in an electronics store, so it was like 50 9/11s on all the TVs at once
comrade got to experience the 9/11 goon cave
Oh god.
That was one of al Qaeda’s headquarters
They were all desynced and hitting at different times too right?
I've only ever seen like two videos of it happening so you didn't get multi-cam views either
one time this cute girl asked me for my number because she thought my outfit was cute. she literally just thought my outfit was cute she was not a lesbian
forgot my debit card when i went to the grocery store very embarrassing
Every person that lines up behind you and sees you're 'that guy' is another 9/11 on top
The worst
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
11:55am - I remove my first moderately-successful homemade lemon meringue pie from the oven, excited to give it to my husband for his birthday.
I send him a picture. "I did it!! Happy Birthday!!"
12:02pm - I knock the pie off its cooling perch right into the fucking sink because I am multitasking and clumsy.
I send him a picture. "I did it!! Happy Birthday!!"
It wasn't even the side with the disposal. I scraped the remnants out of the sink with my fingers.
Complete with photos and timestamps. I can't wait for conspiracy YouTubers to debunk the 'truth behind the lemon meringue pie'
How could a fresh out the oven meringue pie have that kind of consistency hmm? Are you telling me that at a 41.3 degree incline in the second picture it would slide off in to the sink at sufficient speed to wind up under the tray huh? Hoooo wee if you believe that have I got a bridge to smell you
My partner is a baker, this brought them to tears. I'm sorry for your loss.
I one time made pancakes for the family and my fucking brother poured like a quarter of the maple syrup bottle on his and I didn't get as much syrup as I normally like.
You have been through more than any IDF soldier.
My own personal nine eleven was when i was eating a lunchable at school and it was short by one cheese and so the last snack stack ratio was completely off. It ruined my week and i haven’t been the same since.
Too bad, if you'd have caught it early enough you could have salvaged it with a cracker-meat-cheese-meat-cracker stack.
You'll be whole again one day. Healing is an ongoing process
One time I was carrying a case of soda across a road and the case broke and the cans of soda rolled away and there were cars waiting to turn as I scrambled to pick up leaking cans of soda and run them to the side of the road
Anything that's a real world example of the shuttle run makes me feel joy
When Metallica killed Napster.
5 years ago I got blue balls and had to walk a mile to pick up burritos when it was below freezing
Writhing in pain in the bathroom of some mexican restaurant is probably the lowest point of my life
When my cat pooped on my bedroom floor on the morning of 9/11
Your cat warned you and you didn't tell anyone?
I got hit by a milkshake tonight, I wasn't even the target.
Good thing it wasn't one of those concrete milkshakes we were told to worry about
I stubbed my toe on the coffee table.
God sends his greatest challenges to his strongest soldiers. Thank you for your service
When Vibram's Five-Finger shoes stopped getting stocked in stores. I love trail running and those shoes are also comfy as fuck. Now I gotta order them online and hope they're the perfect fit.
I ate halva this morning and now my teeth hurt
I guess you're halva'ing a bad time!
I break 30 of your bones in halv
Everytime I have diarrhea it's like fifty 9/11s in one day.
when the WOKE game devs reduced my favroite waifus breast size by a massive 0.01℅
DnD taking away racial ability score adjustments
Gentrification of everything. Now EVERYTHING is a "rich people thing" even shit they have no interest in. I thought that "white-working-class" shit like bowling would be immune to this, but nope. Now bowling is expensive as hell, and that's just ignoring the fact no one under the age of 35 regularly bowls as a hobby. Even getting a job has been a "rich people thing". No one's hiring and all the job advice assumes you have this thing called a 'network' which is something only rich people have. "Oh, can't get a job? Contact your network of billionaire friends and they'll pull some strings to get a job for you." Yeah thanks out of touch article....I'll get right on that. Me, who's not conventionally attractive and therefore never made friends and also lives in a rural red flyover state. I TOTALLY know some high-up people who would be happy to sacrifice their own wealth for me.
And people wonder why younger people are so unhappy? Because we have either been restricted from fully participating in society or barred from it altogether because we all forgot that poor people exist.
Man, I feel this. Kids don't go outside because we've made it a car hellscape. Adults don't go outside because it usually means spending money.
I got the network question one time in a job interview. Of course I don't have a network, I do my work and go home. I haven't made work my life and I hate that's the expectation
I just had another one.
I got in the shower and the shampoo bottle was empty. The shower was already going and I was already wet, so I couldn't get out and get another bottle.
I'll have to remember to put another one in before my next shower. In fact, I think I need to buy one first too
My wife and I both tested positive for COVID for the first (and so far only) time on September 11 of this last year, and have been referring to it as our personal 9/11.
One time I decided to get spaghetti and sauce while I was food shopping but I forgot that I had taken my motorcycle to the store and bought too much stuff to fit comfortably under the cargo net on the back. So I tried to just ride reeeeal slow and easy to get it all home, and I made it all the way to the turn onto my home street, and that was when it all slipped out of the net and smashed into the road.
I went back on foot to survey the damage. One can of beans survived the fall, and one bottle of soda didn't fall off at all. So that was my dinner that night.
I've had two similar experiences. Years ago I bought some 85% absinthe from my local bottle shop. I was riding home on my longboard and the bag had a hole in it. I heard a smash and there was $110 in the gutter.
Recently I went shopping with my kids in their trailer pram. I bought a bit too much stuff and had to sit my lunch on top of everything else in the back storage section. My lunch slipped out the back but it didn't get too dirty so I rode home holding its paper bag myself
The state I live in has had approximately 27 9/11’s worth of Covid casualties reported
hitting my toe so hard against my other foot that it fucks up my big toenail is like 10 9/11
I think I cut my thumbnail a little bit too short and now the end of my thumb hurts a little bit when I press on it a certain way
Last year I stubbed my toe so bad I broke it and then it was swollen to twice the normal size for 6 months.
I got a filling a few days ago and it still hurts and now my retainers don’t fit anymore. I can’t even eat hot chip and lie correctly anymore. I have to chew my hot chip on one side of my mouth
You'll have to lie out of the other side of your mouth