Monthly Hexbear post where everyone shares their favorite site taglines

The sharp rise in Violent/Aggressive Discourse in the Extreme Left is an artifact of the inclusion of Hexbear.net. The amount of history that can be collected from Hexbear right now is minimal

god that was so validating
Our posting is scientifically validated as too powerful

They say that Hexbear only has enough keyboards for half of its posters, so they send people into threads in pairs, and when the first poster is banned, the second picks up his keyboard and continues posting

This one was at the top of my page right now, and it's a good one.

I also enjoy the "this site could have been for the proletariat", the Maoist gf one, and the "third wordist rant at your therapist" one. So many good ones tbh.

" denguin is that a Denguin? lol nice"

that one gets me every time for some reason

That's a @dessalines@lemmy.ml quote from when I was trying to convince them to add our emojis to the default lemmy emojis.

At least I think that's what I was asking for that time.

My favorite tagline is probably always going to be the very lost liberal who said this to us:

If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland, etc etc etc fucking etc.

This. Is. An. Investment. In. Democracy.

It's just so pure distilled liberal reddit nerd confused about what our priorities are. It's so powerful in all the wrong ways.

I literally thought that was a bit. It's perfect.
- That poster went on to call us disinformation shills and Russian bots
If you give up on Ukraine, then next comes Taiwan, South Korea, Poland, etc etc etc fucking etc.

Oh no... what comes after all that? Don't tell me.... Landlords!? Will they come for the landlords!?

<CURRENT_USER> needs to log off.

it just gets me every time

My favourite is the "please explain to the court why you sign your posts with a picture of a pig with shit on its testicles, followed by the words Death to America".

PIGPOOPBALLS Death to America

read your inbox

There’s nothing you can do to make me hit the little check mark on replies to my posts, and complaining only makes the number go up even more. How does it feel to know your futile cries just make me stronger, liberal?

I think my two favorite that have stood the test of time are:

I do self-criticism constantly because I’m trapped in a Maoist cult where comrades (white terrorists) criticize me mercilessly for having a fascist credit card (VISA Silver Signature Rewards)

They won’t let me order vegan pizza anymore because the phone is fascist and “summoning my pizza slaves with a bourgeois app” is “bad vibes”

and also

The dive bar at the end of the universe

Also,

Probably these two:

I hate V*ush so much the physical revulsion i feel when i hear the slimy whisper that he calls a voice is so bad that it instantly turns me into a 1970s era political lesbian that advocates for the immediate castration of all men

And

hexbear dunking on raddle dunking on lemmy dunking on raddle

Honestly those ultra right-wingers are pretty bad but the ultra left-wingers are worse. And as a lefty that is pretty sad to see. But I’m probably not left enough for those on hexbear.net

There's one that's, like:

Have you got any other arguments than calling me a lib? You've already done that 15 times.

And I feel attacked every time I see it.

Wait, that's my post. I always wondered if one of my comments made it to become a tagline aubrey-happy

Is this going to be something like the minecraft splash text?

🔔264

Damn, you post hard

Imagine just not checking your replies/DMs for an entire year while you continue to post daily

I hope whichever one of you smug clout chasers stole Hexbear from TC69 gets SWATed.

A nod to some of my favorite Hexbear conspiracy theories (she famously tried to resign more times than Stalin)

Train good. Car bad. train-shining

264 unread messages

bulborb-stare

It’s up to 284 now :)

btbt, why so much unread posts on your arse?

The one that’s got parenti-hands and the full giant quote about cold war propaganda.

Durin' da cawd wah....

The anticommunist ideological framework could transform any data about existing communist societies into hostile evidence. If the Soviets refused to negotiate a point, they were intransigent and belligerent; if they appeared willing to make concessions, this was but a skillful ploy to put us off our guard. By opposing arms limitations, they would have demonstrated their aggressive intent; but when in fact they supported most armament treaties, it was because they were mendacious and manipulative. If the churches in the USSR were empty, this demonstrated that religion was suppressed; but if the churches were full, this meant the people were rejecting the regime's atheistic ideology. If the workers went on strike (as happened on infrequent occasions), this was evidence of their alienation from the collectivist system; if they didn't go on strike, this was because they were intimidated and lacked freedom. A scarcity of consumer goods demonstrated the failure of the economic system; an improvement in consumer supplies meant only that the leaders were attempting to placate a restive population and so maintain a firmer hold over them.

If communists in the United States played an important role struggling for the rights of workers, the poor, African-Americans, women, and others, this was only their guileful way of gathering support among disfranchised groups and gaining power for themselves. How one gained power by fighting for the rights of powerless groups was never explained. What we are dealing with is a nonfalsifiable orthodoxy, so assiduously marketed by the ruling interests that it affected people across the entire political spectrum.”

The funniest site tag lines will be one that don't make any sense to someone who's not in on it. They don't have to be overly esoteric, it just makes them special:

Defederation should only be considered as a last resort, however we made the decision to preemptively defederate from Hexbear.

lmao

please dear god press the button

Mine hasn't been working lately and always leaves one. I'm also just not getting notifications like half the time.

My experience with hexbear has been pretty fucking far from them knowing political theory, outside of one very specific niche they can kind of articulate as long as you don’t ask them to reduce any of it to fundamentals or first principles.

floppy-owl

Welcome home, comrade

this ones my personal favourite rn "Just a random find and now, as a white person, I am scared of white people. I was genuinely rooting “watch out for that white guy!” and “get his white ass! yeah!”. WTF? I guess, this is what they call the “movie magic”."

Do we still have the one with Painbow’s full Discord handle in it?

why you got so many notifications

Always ready to donate my upbears to a deleted by creator
- I cropped it badly and cut off like half the quote and I figured "fuck it it wasnt that funny anyway"