No doubt. Wanna fight me?

Water is so far above everything else that EVERY SINGLE SODA is forced to add around 80% water.

This comment was made by the water gang.

You tell 'em, brother!
This comment is sponsored by the water gang.
- Do we have a ~~waterni~~ hydrohomies lemmy
  Edit: found it
I actually think water percentage would be in the high 90s. 80% water sounds like it would be more like syrup consistency.
- Google tells me 90-95% water, and 98% or more for diet
Since soda is actually like 95-98% water, soda is basically water... Ipso facto soda homies are actually hydro homies confirmed.
- So we're just all part of a big family ?! 😲

I'd fight the shit out of you but I am afraid you are just too well hydrated and I stand no chance.

Water is very dangerous because 100% people that tried it, died

Yep but I am addicted to it
- If I go more than a few days without it, I will literally die.
- Better version:
Actually about 7% of those that have tried it are still alive and well! 😀 (Our current global population represents about 7% of all humans that have ever lived)
- I feel like that number is slowly creeping toward 0%. Maybe it'll take a billion years, but I bet it'll get there.
Not only that, but 100% of murder victims were found to have infested it within a week of their death
- I think you mean ingested, but I will admit infested is much funnier
Water is very dangerous because 100% people that have had it will die.
- 100% of people who don't also die
No wonder Kojima only drinks movies
it has been shown in the lab that too much dihydrogen monoxide causes suffocation and it is one of the primary requirements of cancer cells to survive

As long as coffee and tea are A tier, we're good.

Uh, guys? I think HydroHomies is... well... leaking

You're forgetting the fluid that nobody doesn't love!

That woman shouldn't be alive. What is that barrel made of? So many questions..
- It's probably photoshopped. You can't trust anything these days smh my head

💪HYDROHOMIES STAY STRONG💪

Milk a tier

Milk can kill me putting it in S tier
- When you think about it, everything on that list can kill you.
This comment brought to you by Big Dairy
Milk G tier
Milk is below F tier.
Milk S tier. Same with good pussy.
Water is S, Milk is A, and Beer might be D tier. It’s bad for you like the drinks in F tier, but you at least catch a buzz.
most humans cant drink milk, humans are the only species that drinks milk as adults, humans are the only species to drink another species' milk. milk involves raping and killing cows. F tier
- raping cows? what?!?!?!
- Ah yes, gotta fuck then kill the cow to get me some delicious potassium soup
- Some of the points check out others are like WTF?

I mean, you didn't include anything like tea, so it's kinda just easy. Fizzy, calorie-pumped, nutritionless, cheap-dopamine-providing, overpriced and overpackaged water is pretty low hanging fruit.

- available in abundance
  Let's hope it stays that way :/

Water is a C

ICE FUCKING COLD water is S+++.

Relevant CJ The X: https://youtu.be/JuKbDpPAooE?si=oe31Fk01itZn6Zug

Water full of microplastics S+ Tier

Unsweet tea gets a tier tho

Water is the goat but have you ever jad a soda pop made botanically? Modern soda is just synth flavors and sugar, but it used to be flavored with actual spices. It's harder to find, but if you can find a truly classic soda brand it absolutely slaps modern corn syrup shit out of the universe

Imagine tasting cola, except it actually has a deep flavor palette and isn't cloyingly sweetened subsidized corn liquid

If one of the few ingredients listed is cane sugar, and no corn syrup in sight, you're in for a delicious, probably better for you*, treat.
*[citation needed]
Not as good as Reddit CEO's tears

No doubt?

Oh hey, it’s just a girl.
I kinda always knew she’d end up my ex girlfriend, and that shit was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Don’t speak, I know just what you’re thinking. It didn’t happen. Well. You’re right. It didn’t.
God, I wish I could stop but I just can’t.
- They made a song about bananas. They spell it out and everything.
- Um.... uh... uh... Spiderwebs Hella Good Simple Kind of Life?
  I'm bad at this. :(

This list is missing beer???

K tier for „keep away“
- Alcohol free beer is wonderful!
- From me? Because if from me, touché, I wouldn't want to be a beer around me either.

Where teas and juices and coffee?

and milk
Tea and coffee A tier. Juice is D tier (basically the same amount of sugar as sodas but at least has some antioxidants).
Good black coffee is a low S or high A tier drink. Sure, it makes me poop, but it tastes great and makes me productive.
- Coffee for breakfast water for lunch and beer for dinner, what else do you need

Whiskey tho

Châteauneuf du Pape tho
Nectar of the God's
- Of the god's what? Don't leave us hanging!!
It's a type of water so it's S tier

Water S; black coffee and tea without milk and sugar are A.
Cold water on a hot day is SS tier, no doubt

i won’t fight you about water but we can fight over something else if you’d like

How about whether or not the earliest-known literate civilizations in the ancient Near East were of each other's existence?
- Oh, most Assur-edly. But seriously though, that depends on what you mean by "the earliest-known". Which specific cultures are you referring to? Sumerian was the de facto lingua franca (for written language) until superseded by Assyrian, and in either case, warfare between city-states and proto-states was full on raging basically since the beginning until, well, now. So they were quite aware. The Mesopotamian delta is only so big, you've got the two main trading and shipping arteries running through the desert, Eufrat and Tigris, making it super lush and pretty, so generally those were the areas fought over (though back then even the desert wasn't quite as desert-y as it is today, and there's plenty of ruins in the middle of bumfuck sandland, though arguably they wouldn't have settled there without a good source of water. The Assyrians built some sick-ass aqueducts, too, but let's not talk about them because they were not very nice people).
- I think you skipped the “aware”. If so, then I must argue that I don’t know enough about the topic, and since I don’t know then no body else knows and if they say they do it’s a conspiracy! So there.

The Hydro Homies have invaded! Nah but for real ice water is the GOAT

Imagine having to add solid bits of water to make it better. The audacity.
-This response was made by the Keep Water Liquid gang.

Make it a vote and see where sparkling water lands

Found my homie!!

What about Brawndo? It's what plants crave!

It's got electrolytes!

I've been reducing my sugar intake and recently fully quit caffeine. I was never big on sodas but I recently had one at a work lunch because it was the only option available and it was shocking how overly sweet it seemed
About a gallon and a half of low-alcoholic beer for me every day for the past some thirty years. Keeps me healthy, virile, and my teeth clean.
Well made coffee should not be bitter
- Coffee is bitter. There's shit coffee that's pretty much only bitter and nothing else, but any coffee will have bitterness.
  Though I agree that "very very bitter" sounds like bad coffee.

What about milk?

Depends on whether it's skimmed. Your heart and arteries will thank you.
- Whole milk is S tier, skimmed milk is C tier.
- Now I don't know about no skimming, but milk is milk.

Where is (real)juice though? Feel that should be at maybe C? And if softdrinks are f, where is Redbull?

Redbull is off the chart.
Redbull is just below vodka, but they mostly overlap.

DAE drink water? Smash that like button

Beer in B tier, tea and lemon water in A Tier

👏 love a cuppa, honestly drink tea and water more than fizzy drinks
Coffee in B tier too for me

!hydrohomies@lemmy.ml

Something like this exist? Cool
- Hydrohomies was a big sub on Reddit for a good while. Idk where it's at now, but yeah, it's like a whole thing.

RC cola gets a D but I agree other than that

i have never heard of RC cola
- Imagine if Pepsi was still good

I carbonate my own water and drink lots of tea

Really? How? Keg and c02? Do you add anything, like citric acid? Im a home brewer, I've got a kegerator set up with 3 kegs. I want to do one with carbonated water some time
- Soda stream is just a CO2 bottle on cold water. It carbonates after an hour or so, or if you shake it.
  A better option imo is to buy a big tank of C02 and connect it to a big tank of cold water which in turn has a tap. You probably have all that!
  https://tasteofartisan.com/how-to-make-carbonated-water/
  I personally found the taste of plain cold carbonated water.. actually good on its own. Otherwise you can add flavor like a canned seltzer would have.
- I've got a plain older countertop device with mini CO2 cartridges (with a cheap exchange program) for now. I am redoing my living room and study soon and will get a kegarator soon so I have it on tap.
  I don't need the flavors infused. But if I'm feeling fancy I'll add a slice of lime or lemon, or both (usually when I need to use the rest of one after making dinner). Although it is my understanding this is certainly possible, adding flavours/syrups or what not.
- Something like a SodaStream. https://sodastream.de/

I don't disagree that water is king. But putting coke and pepsi in the same tier must be some kind of crime.

I agree, coke should be lower.
- And forever more shall our families fued. On my blood do I swear undying enmity towards the PepsiApologist, Kiwi_Girl.
I have tried both and both taste like a lethal dose of liquid sugar. Among the American drinks only Fanta doesn't outright taste like diabetes, it only has that as an aftertaste.

Drinking water gives me acid reflux, always has. Which is weird because fanta is a lot more acidic and doesn't do that.

There's common misconseption that higher acid in your stomach causes acid reflux, however it is actually the oposite. There's sphincter in your esophagus which contracts when there's enough acidity and opens when there's lack of. So when you are having bad reflux, try increasing your stomach acid by either chewing gum, eating sour or eating something bitter. Avoid drinking large amount of water after heavy meals, since you are diluting acid. Also less smoking and drinking helps (quitting smoking really helped for me. Those over the counter tablets containing carbonate salts actually make it even worse, since they neutralize stomach acid, when you want to increase it. Protein pump inhibitors, such as ranitidine block production of stomach acid completely, however it really messes up with your protein intake. Common pain killers, such as ibuprofen, aspirin mess with yiur stomach too
Does it burn? If I drink cold water, I tend to get esophageal spasms. My heart to my jaw gets this tension and pain, but it doesn't burn. It tends to be worse with normal sipping amounts rather than chugging like a hamster. It can happen with beer but for whatever reason, soda never causes it for me. Probably something about the drink rate or usually having soda at room temp. Not trying to tell you how your body works, just offering up info no one I know knows about.
- Yes it burns at the plexus and throat. I find it less so when I filter the (bottled) water in a brita filter (cartridged filters) but then it tastes funny. So I actually never drink water.
  What is even weirder if I drink those water bottle with a slight hint of flavor, no reflux. Might be a mental problem?
  I don't experience what you have.

Water, coffee, whiskey, wine. Drink alcohol maybe once or twice a month, coffee and water daily.

All S tier.

Hard disagree with whiskey.
How you gonna say wine and coffee then be hyper specific with what liquor? Just say liquor.
- There's just as much variation in whiskey as there is with wine and coffee, honestly.
- I have every confidence this is a gigabrain take that everyone will agree with
  grappa should have its own sub-basement-shit-tier as both a liquor, alcoholic beverage and beverage in general.
  fuck grappa. all my homies hate grappa
Here's my own controversial take:
Any and all alcoholic beverages taste like garbage, people simply get used to the bad taste because they're expected to drink it and/or are alcoholics.
Countless times i've been offered drinks that "taste good", or that "you can barely taste the alcohol" and every single time they taste terrible. Even when there's a hint of flavor behind it all, it is utterly ruined by the taste of alcohol.
No amount of seasoning is gonna make your food taste good if you've already taken a dump on it.
- I can definitely see how you would feel that way, but for me, there's definitely a whole world of depth of flavor brought out via fermentation, which includes alcoholic beverages. I don't personally care for the alcohol content usually, but the flavor is truly unique and can be special.

Yeah water is cool. But

She Mt Dew on my Baja til I Blast

Water for life 💧💯

Water is like a or b, Paulaner Spezi is on s+

Not sure why I expected Paulaner Spezi to be some kind of ready-made Cola-Weizen.
- You got one ingredient right…

This is all correct but it's missing freshly-squeezed orange juice over in A tier

Pure juice overall should be in A tier

I don't fight the truth, king 🙏

Great, but where does flavored sparkling water fall on this list?

Upper F
At least same tier as regular water. Possibly a higher tier. Shits like crack.

apfelschorle should be at least an A-Tier as well - best drink besides water, especially when you want some variety at some point.

I fuckin love water sometimes

I'll be fighting with you

Edit: fighting with OP, how does someone think the opposite?

…until the sugar rush ends.
- I don't think you understood, I am at the side of water
- I don't know man, tweakers can get pretty gnarly when they're crashing.
- sugar rush is a myth.

Why would I fight the truth?

Flint, MI would like to have a word with you...

Iced tea has to be like B/C tier

Tea is an A if you make it yourself and don't add any sugar (except maybe a slice of lemon). I do cold brew a lot in the warmer months, really hits the spot and doesn't taste like drinking corn syrup.
- I’d say tea is an S tier because it’s so versatile. You can have a mild herbal tea that‘s barely different to water over intense, naturally sweet fruit teas to ice tea so sweet it puts Lipton to shame. The choice is yours. Water is just water. Still very good, definitely A but it’s still just water…
- Sun tea is fantastic.

Ok but what about Irn Bru, it's gotta be just under water

Apple cider?!?!?!

I'd push water down to C or D level because I'm not sure what they put in this shit where I live, and I'd push low-alcoholic beer to S tier. It's how they did it in the old days and it carried us all into the future.

Well someone carried us anyway. I blacked out at some point.

God tier: cold brew, no cream or sugar.

Elemental

Ah yes, nothing like a nice rum and water.

You joke but I do actually drink my rum with a few drops of water
- Me too
  Very chilly drops of water, in the shape of a cube.

I’d personally place tea on S and water on A. Tea is far too versatile. Water is great but tea hydrates just as much and has the potential to be much much more.

TIL that tea dehydrates you is a myth, just looked that up
- Possibly depends a bit how you make it. If you make extremely strong black tea and then dump tons of sugar in it it’s definitely less refreshing than unsweetened mint tea for example. Tea, like most things in life, is a spectrum.
- Same with coffee. I believe it’s actually caffeine that can work as a diuretic.
I mostly agree, but I'm not drinking any sort of tea after a 10k. Water/tea/coffee is 95% of what I drink. Whole milk is 3%, and boba tea is another 1%. I'm ashamed to say I drink soda in social settings.
- no shame in a good sodie pop once in a while
  its everyday that it becomes horrible, for teeth and weight
- I’d argue though, after a 10K, you’re not drinking for any other reason than hydration and in such cases water is always the best. But I’d argue that’s an edge case unless you’re a professional athlete or live in a very hot environment
Piss water
- I see you haven’t had proper tea yet
- I didn't like tea until very recently. Apperently it took about 20 years for me to start liking tea

Water is A tier. Sparkling water is S tier.

Water has no sugar and isn't spicy. It's literally incomparable with soda.

I can't tell if you think that's a good thing or bad thing

I would put Polar Seltzer Water at A, all other selterzs at B, Dr Pepper at C, and the rest where they lie.

Whenever I'm trying to enjoy myself, I wouldn't be drinking water, that is for sure.

Fanta Exotic is pretty dope tho :/

I'm going to disagree. Water, alone, is about a B+, maybe an A-. If you've ever been working out really intensely, to the point where you feel nauseous and could drink a liter of water and still be desperately thirsty, then you'll understand that you also need to get electrolytes, things like sodium, potassium, and magnesium. The mineral content in plain water is too low for that; a sugar-free (preferably unsweetened) sports drink is going to be better for you than water alone.

Unless you have a balanced diet that anticipates your workouts and gives you the proper amount of sodium, potassium and magnesium. Sports drinks are just selling you those at a big premium. Stick with water. Eat a banana.
There's approximately 0% of people that actually need Gatorade/sports drinks, unless they were stranded without water for a prolonged period.
It was developed to help football players in Florida stay hydrated for the duration of a game. The conditions there are 90%+ humidity, and 80+ degrees while wearing full pads. Then being in that state for about 5 or so hours without eating.
No one really is exposed to that level of perspiration except athletes.
- Guess I'm an athlete then, because I badly deplete my electrolytes every time I'm backpacking on the AT.
If you've ever been working out really intensely
Putting water alone back to S tier for ~100% of the population about 90-100% of the time :)

I know exactly 3 (+water) on this list.

I'm with you, but for my wife's sake I'd move Dr. Pepper at least one tier above all others.

No way in hell you hate all soda pop equally

S Tier for me is Ice cold water mixed with some good peach syrrup and some lemmons.

true

I love me some cold water, but I love cold carbonated drinks EVEN MORE. Now what?

Sap from plants! Filtered water with natural nutrients. Still water, but with essential nutrients - brought to you by MFN!

Have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water or rainwater? And only pure grain alcohol? Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation – fluoridation of water? Do you realise that fluoridation is the most monstrously-conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?

You forgot McDonald's sprit.

Fizzy water: G

Still tap water is better than sparkling water, and I will die on this hill.
- I‘d argue on that but only because the quality of tap water can vary so immensely… Almost nothing beats good tap water but I’ve had tap water that was so godawful I’d rather drink almost anything else if there’s no way to filter it

RC needs to be higher.

S+ Tier: Carbonated water

Bro F--, don't ruin my water
- If your food and drink doesn't hurt you, what's the point? basic nourishment? fuck that. gimme that ice cold burning water.
is it tho? it makes everyone who drinks it burp, id give it A tier

Water is s-tier if you've got some propel mix in it.

Water drinkers are so smug. So proud to be so boring that they drink only something that tastes of nothing. Unless you're absolutely parched and/or it's scorching outside, literally anything else that actually has a flavor is better.

Oh no, the sugar has melted his brain!
Water has a flavour you silly billy.
- Maybe if it's not clean. The trace minerals in there make just about zero difference flavor wise.