What are some things you simply won't order online?

A hitman 😃

Yeah it's always a sting scam 😔
- Do you think they’d blame you for ordering a hit on Putin?

Based on experience with stores in my area currently? Groceries. Incorrect and forgotten items, incorrect prices, wilted produce, nearly thawed frozen foods, swapping significantly more expensive alternatives despite my checking the "do not substitute" option.

I've never seen the appeal. Paying more for shittier stuff and waiting longer.
Get to know your local green grocer and Butcher and pay the least for the best stuff.
- Some people don't have a choice, or find it convenient for reasons that aren't relevant to you.
  You personally not needing something, doesn't mean no one else does.
  Honestly, imagine being that self cantered..
Came here to say.

Anything that is advertised by youtubers and podcasters. You have to be a special kind of gullible to buy from these new age door to door salesman

Maybe it depends on the podcast.
While I think you might be referring to "male enhancement pills" and crap like that, I steer clear of the kind of podcast that would even consider pushing that sort of thing, in fact find that product ecosystem kind of interesting sometimes.
So far from the type of company that advertises in this medium, I've bought underwear, a massage machine for muscle spasms, and a monthly gift box service where I've gotten some very nice articles of clothing.
I mean it's no different than any other form of advertisement. Just do your own research.
Magic Spoon is pretty good though. Although you can buy it at Whole Foods now.

I dont fuck with doordash or ubereats, try not to get pizza delivered either if I can help it. Markup is ridiculous along with expected tip.

along with expected tip.
Awful culture, where no company will pay you what you are worth.
- I was more talking about how if you don't tip well enough your food may take a long while before anyone bothers accepting the trip and getting it to you, but that's also true.
exactly. pickup that stuff yourself and it's basically half-price. People who have groceries and food deliveries all the time, I'm just confused by. Like, how much money are you ok with wasting??
- bro Im depressed, delivery pizza is basically the only way to keep me fed well atm
- I broke my leg and the first 3 months back home I relied on delivery, Doordash cut into my savings a lot. My proximity to a grocery store with free delivery lead me to start buying groceries and planning meals, which is cool
  Also taught me some perspective, a $10 pizza with a $5 delivery fee and $5 tip is still a pizza, and we have pizza at home

I've gotten shrooms online . Worked out great ! But other than that I've never ordered anything edible online .
I got liquid foundation on Amazon once and I'm pretty sure it was counterfeit, it was so watery. :(

A majority of the things that sponsor YouTube videos. As great as much of that stuff is, one must not forget the reason many people advertise products online is to serve as a loophole when something about it is too questionable for the stores. I previously mentioned MagicSpoon cereal for example, and as good as it might be in moderation, it's a well-known FDA nightmare because things with artificial sweeteners are so antsy to get themselves on shelves. Probably my favorite example though is Established Titles, which I'm known to simultaneously make fun of often, point out how over-the-top it is with its scammy reputation, and admire its intentions since it's technically trying to help in ways that surpass Ecosia (and to the next person who replies to this, that's Lady Leni to you!)

- As a novice, how can I tell the difference between a decent drone and a crap one? My daughter asked for one for Christmas and, although I'm not getting one for her this year (she's definitely too young to fly it responsibly) I need to start getting educated on the topic.
What's the deal with MagicSpoon?
- So for context, a lot of foods have swerved their way around having true sugar in their ingredients once a substitute was realized. They call these artificial sweeteners, and they're advertised as a replacement for sugar, but because they're also not as natural compared to sugar (by far), there has been concern they're carcinogens (which a lot of things we use are, such as air freshener spray, though this isn't to say there is anything against them, just they cannot be taken for granted).
  Along comes Magic Spoon, a cereal brand where the lack of added sugar is one of the pillars and which also advertises more vivid flavors. To the point that a lot of people will be arguing that you might as well just swear off cereal. I've seen a lot of people in stores sell Magic Spoon, but these are typically pre-bought in bulk and put in tiny family-run convenience stores, otherwise the main source is YouTube videos because they know the big sellers are more cautious.

Bombs. The post office HATE that.

Any clothing other than T-Shirts. The sizing is almost always wrong from what the store says it is. I don't even order a lot of shirts online because 90% of the time, I check the sizing and their 3XL size is the size of every normal place's small.

I liked Hyena Agenda and Nomad Complex... But they both shut down earlier this year :(

Anything I can pick up in a store, during a less than 30 minute bike ride. I live in a European city, so that means almost everything.

- Fun fact: lots of those sd cards are actually fake. Have you tried actually putting 128gb of data on it?
  It's pretty easy for them to put a scummy firmware on it that reports having a significantly larger size than they actually have.
- Anything that's easy to fake like that I wouldn't risk personally. All they have to do is put the wrong sticker on it. It's not hard to make a forgery.
  Then you're stuck trying to deal with the Chinese company to get your money back. I'd much rather just go to a box store and pick one up, at least I know what I'm getting, and I know that if it turns out not to be the real product I'll have no issue returning it.

Anything that I can buy myself in a store. I am so. frigging. tired. of tripping over personal shoppers with monster carts. How hard can it be to let the overnight shift fill those orders?

I fucking hate that so much. You can't walk through Walmart without 10 employees dragging around and blocking the aisles with those giant carts shopping for people who are too fucking lazy to shop for themselves, half of them under the guise of muh COVID. Fucking over it.
- Lol, you're getting salty at the people ordering pickup because you're being inconvenienced by the way the store handles it?
  Yeah, blame the people, not the corporation. Good little consumer.
- shopping for people who are too fucking lazy to shop for themselves
  Fuck off ableist, sincerely, one of millions who are unable to physically go to the shop and rely on delivery to survive.
- Just think that each one of those carts is at least one fewer person in line for checkout.
- Then stop shopping there.

Pants bro. I'm a dude and I got some tree trunk thighs and a big ass. I can only wear relaxed fit or classic fit, and even then they're still skinny fit.

$5 for pictures.

Find the Levi's 5## model that fits, always buy that.
- Ya. Only 514 Altheic fit work in Levis, and even then I have to buy a size too big in the waist so they fit somewhat loose in the thighs.
- Have you found a way to parse what kind of denim they’ll be? I’ve got 7 pairs of 511s with at least 4 weights/mixes of denim. It’s better in store but even at the Levi’s outlet they had 3 types of denim 511s in different color sets.
- This is the way.

SD cards. They're frequently fake.

I got burned too many times. Often they did substitutes that were anything but. For example, I am diabetic, and ordered diet soda, and often got regular. I ordered kosher hot dogs, got chicken franks. Salted butter when I asked for unsalted, wrong type of rice, and after a few of those, I gave up.
- My wife ordered JustEgg (a mung bean egg alternative) because she's allergic to eggs and they substituted a carton of eggs. Fortunately I was able to eat them.
As someone who orders groceries all the time, yes produce isnt great 2 outta 5 times. I get a refund for anything that isnt picked properly. Also like once every couple months my whole order gets delivered to my neighbor, then i just get a full refund after i go and pick them up.
Thank you.
How do you know how I pick fruit?

A dinosaur

Fresh groceries is an absolute no. I always go to the market and pick out my own fruit and veggies and fish.

I do order clothes and shoes online, but never before trying them out myself and only if they don't have the color I want in stock or if it's appreciably cheaper online.

Shoes.

I'm the sort of person that has to try on 10 pairs or more to find some that fit comfortably.

I used to be the same way untill I tried out Zappos (US). Their filtering really lets you narrow down the exact type of shoe that will fit you. Plus they had a super long return window. Way better long term purchases than any store I've been to.
Best chance for success is to actually measure your foot to determine the length, width, and arch support you need. Then strictly don't order anything outside of that criteria.

Food, live plants /fish (aquariums), watercooling stuff, teas, NSFW stuff (no returns), used stuff (missing parts, or on amazon, its always defective.

I'm also souring on online deliveries. It was great in the early 10s, but now it's all low quality garbage, defective stuff that has been "returned", no name brand stuff, etc.

I initially thought the same about the aquarium supplies and animals. But all of the pet shops and stores I've gone to have been more than a little nasty and bad and all the stuff I've gotten offline arrived great and healthy
- I thought the same until I went to the crunchy little indie stores. I've gone to two different ones, and both were great! One was high end boutique, the other a crunchy 70s place where everyone seemed super knowledgeable and appeared to do it for a hobby, with the store simply funding their ~~addiction~~ hobby. :)
  I still skip petco, though, that place bums me out.
  There's a third indie place about an hour away that looks really cool too! They have a 1,500 gallon tank that I wanna see.

I've learned how to order clothes this year. I was going to a wedding and was struggling to find a dress so I ordered 8 from various shops then returned the ones that didn't work. I'd previously ordered 3 and had to send all 3 back, then I ordered the 8 and found a favourite and a back up.

For obvious reasons this will remain a very infrequent plan.

One time many years ago I ordered this knock off Panerai watch from a sketchy looking Chinese website. It did arrive a few weeks later, and it's actually a gorgeous self-winding piece with a window to the gears on the back. Its an awesome looking watch. But I'd never do that again.

Fresh blackberries. I order groceries delivered most trips, and usually I've found it worth it despite the occasional issues (I don't own a car, so it adds significant convenience), but every time I've tried to order non-frozen or canned blackberries, a significant percentage have been moldy.

Anything frozen. It arrives semi defrosted.

I don't order restaurant food or fresh/frozen grocery for delivery, that's about it really.

I do try to order from manufacturer websites when possible but on the occasions I have asked them, they say they make the same $ with Amazon fulfillment.

Lots of stuff I order online but pick up at store too. Meals, coffee, prescription drugs, wine & liquor.

Amazon often states in their agreement with sellers that the manufacturer can't sell for less than Amazon.
Amazon also scrapes sites and lowers prices automatically when other places outprice them. It was interesting seeing this happen irl at a place I used to work at
- Thank you for this insight. (Not being sarcastic, really thank you!)
I'll order direct just to keep money from Amazon.
I refuse to buy anything from Amazon, and I will even pay extra to get it directly from the manufacturer's site. So it's really disheartening when I end up getting an Amazon package in the mail anyway. I think a lot of places save on space and headcount by using Amazon for fulfillment.
I even have the same issue with eBay. Some sellers are just drop-shippers for Amazon.

Office chairs and sushi.

Box full of spiders

Oh man, you're totally missing out, they're awesome!
- Never

food and pets

Mayo

Hookers and blow