People of Lemmy that take more than 5 seconds to start your car and drive, what are you doing?

People who tear out of their parking space within a few seconds of getting in, wtf?
- Gottapoopgetoutoftheway!
  
  Understandable. Have a good day.
  
  Hiit'sBobwehadababy...Itsaboy
- asking the real questions!
- Because it’s a crowded parking lot. People are getting pissy and frustrated because they can’t find a spot to do this stupid shopping…they didn’t even want to come now, but that stupid BBQ is later, so they have to come when it’s super busy. And that freakin guy went the wrong way and got that spot they were trying to get…
  A little moment of kindness and acknowledgement is sometimes enough to reset the spiral of negativity and anger.
  Or I’ve really got to poop, as previously mentioned.

Letting the oil circulate before putting load on the engine. Only needs an extra 10-15 seconds, or the time it takes me to scrape during the winter months. No time needed if it was recently running.
- Is your engine >30 years old?
  
  No. What modern marvel keeps oil from pooling in the lowest level after hours of disuse?
- For some, it only circulates when the car is in motion, which is why idling causes extra wear on cars.
  
  For some drive line components, yes, but not for engine oil.
  
  No. If your oil is circulating your engine is fucked.

Bonding with the vehicle on a spiritual level so that we can move as one.
- Car: check engine light turns on
  "well fuck you, too"
- How many times does the judge have to tell you? Stop masturbating in the car.
- Make sure to please the machine spirit and anoint it in oil!
  
  Regular offerings!
- Moya is not yet ready to leave the Applebee's parking lot.

Waiting for Bluetooth to connect, putting on seatbelt, fixing Bluetooth, putting drinks in drink holders, waiting for Bluetooth, turning on lights, fixing Bluetooth.
- And people wonder why I care so much about my phone having an analog headphone jack.
- Uconnect?

“People of Lemmy that are not the same way as me: Why are you the way that you are? Any answers must come with justification.”
- I fucking hate bad-faith questions like this. OP doesn't care about an answer, they are just ranting.
- Perhaps it’s more of a “hey, parking is hard to come by in this neighborhood.. I’ve been circling for a while and noticed that you got into your car and now I’m sitting here with my blinker on, blocking traffic, waiting for the spot to free up so I can park and get on with my day… what’s going on in there?”
  
  You're the asshole in that situation. Don't expect that any parking place is yours until it's empty, especially when you have no idea when the people actually parked in the space are leaving. You should never be blocking traffic waiting to park in an occupied space because you assume they're leaving.
  
  I understand this. At work parking is hella bad, so I routinely get to work over an hour early just for parking, and then most days I bring lunch or don't eat because I don't want to lose my parking during the day.
  That being said, because I know parking sucks there, I'm extra quick when I do have to leave because I know the feeling of driving around looking for parking, becoming hopeless, and resigning to the quarter mile walk from the next closest available parking.
  I've never understood the people who purposefully just sit there and stare at the person needing a parking spot in their rear view mirror waiting for them to leave. My dad does this, and I'm always just like "Aren't you taking more time away from yourself now too just to stick it to someone else?"
- Questions like these is why this community exists though.
  It's interesting to read because I'm always quick in the car myself, I enjoy being quick to start and drive out.
  Don't care if others are different. Maybe they want to sit and watch their phone for a while. But it's interesting to read about it.

I'm just pleased to see so many comments talking about dealing with your phone before you drive. Thank you all.
- In many places, if your car has started - even if you're in park - it's illegal to use your phone. (I think it's insane, but best remind people)
  
  Like that ever stops anyone. Georgia is a hands-free state (not really because people eat, do makeup, and whatever else), but I always see people on their phones while they drive.

Letting oil warm up for a bit. Why do you care?
- They need the spot. They need it. RIGHT NOW! CAN'T YOU SEE THEIR BLINKER ON AS THEY BLOCK THE ISLE?! BEEP..... BEEP BEEP BEEP THEY NEED IT NOOOOOOOWWWWWWWE WHY AREN'T YOU MOVIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG BEEEEEEEEP

-> Seatbelt
-> Phone in holder + plug
-> Vape out + plug
-> Select destination in GPS
-> Stare into the void and contemplate the utter futility of existence
-> Select Music or podcast
-> Prepare any drinks or snacks for the trip
-> Drive off
- Stare into the void and contemplate the utter futility of existence
  Yea this one is pretty much it for me.

Defrosting my windows so that I can actually see to drive
Also, connecting my phone via bluetooth to play music or podcasts

Taking a breather goddamn.

Well I get in, plug in my phone and put on my belt. That’s maybe 15 seconds. Then I turn the key and wait for the glow* plugs to warm up, so that’s another 5-10 seconds.
- Flow plugs? lol you mean glow plugs? Should get them warmed the moment you get in and save some time.
  
  Ha! Yes, glow plugs. That’ll be my fat fingers getting in the way again.

Not destroying our engines.
- Driving slowly is how you do that. Not by idling.
  
  I have to merge onto the highway 3 minutes after I leave my house. Driving slowly is not an option.

Putting on spotify and getting a Playlist so I don't mess with my phone when I start driving. Possibly GPSing.

Telling someone that I'm on my way. Finding music to listen to. Figuring out what my next errand is or checking if I have anymore errands.

get in
get keys into hand
the abyss gazes also into me

sometimes you gotta just sit and breathe for a minute, man.

Watching the person waiting for my parking space lose their shit.

- so much waiting, we call those windows-10.

get in
put things in place
seat belt
lock the door
unfold side mirror
start engine
check dashboard
wait a while if engine is cold
- Seeing how many serious commenters omitted seatbelts, I'm thinking the seatbelt part comes for them when the car starts bitching about it.
  
  More like seatbelt is muscle memory they don't actively think about. Nobody is mentioning closing the door or aligning their foot to the pedals either.

My car is old and has a display for Android auto that is powered by the cigarette lighter. I'm waiting for it to turn on, then I'm picking some music on Spotify to play during my drive.

Queue podcasts, reply to txt/email, or anything else that needs to be taken care of on the phone so that it can be put away while driving.

Psych myself up to go to wherever I'm going

Waiting for oil to reach the top of the engine

Waiting for my kid to put on his seatbelt.

Seatbelt on, plug phone in, get sunglasses, put on radio, put in gear, examine surrounding area to ensure it's safe to go

Letting the oil circulate for a bit, adjusting fan-settings, A/C, selecting music etc. If it’s wintertime I let the car warm up for a while while I scrape the windows.

Waiting for the oil pressure to protect the timing chain.
Or, in the winter, waiting for the CVT to warm up.

Waiting for whoever is obnoxiously climbing up my ass to take my spot to leave.

Making sure all the kids are buckled.
- Is your seatbelt done up?
  Leave your brother alone and do up your seatbelt please.
  You need to do up your seatbelt now.
  Do up your seatbelt now, please.
  DO UP YOUR SEATBELT
  DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS CAR AROUND I SWEAR WE WILL NOT GET GROCERIES AND YOU WILL HAVE PEANUT BUTTER ON LETTUCE WITH RELISH FOR DINNER AGAIN THAT'S IT GET IN THE HOUSE I'M ORDERING A PIZZA GODDAMN IT NOT AGAIN
  
  You sing the song of my people.

Waiting for the engine to warm up a bit? Centering myself and dealing with distractions before I drive. Mapping out my egress routes and bailout locations after eliminating the parties specified in the verbal contract? All normal things you are supposed to do before you drive.

Adjust seat from when my husband used it. Adjust mirror from when my short husband moved it Put laptop bag down into the passenger footwell Fish can of drink out of my bag and put it in the holder Put phone into holder, turn on Bluetooth Turn of Bluetooth speaker Connect car Bluetooth if it hasn't happened automatically Choose podcast or music Seatbelt on Set wipers if needed Pull away! Takes a minute, roughly

Putting away the windshield shade, plugging my phone in to charge, choosing what to listen to on my drive, setting the heat/AC/defrost, making sure no one is walking in front of me, and letting the oil circulate in the engine before I get going.
Seatbelt too, but I can't think of where that fits in the lineup. It's so automatic, I don't notice that I have the seatbelt on until I park and take unclick it.

Hyundai recommends that car rubs for 10 seconds to make sure the oil is doing its job
- Does it rub the oil itself?
  
  it rubs the good parts.
  
  Every day, its why she's so slick

I gotta find the perfect song. What is the perfect song? I don't know, but I gotta sit here and hit the skip button over and over until I find it.

Waiting for everyone to buckle in. Even that one person in the back.
- This. So often, folks feel too busy for even the easiest safety steps that keep everywait who are these people in my car it was empty a second ago

Checking my mirrors, checking tire pressure, waiting for the on-screen button to become responsive so I can ok the dumb EULA on screen so I can use the infotainment unit, reconnecting bluetooth a few times because the phone and infotainment unit randomly choose to connect.

Hey, I'm fat and disabled. It just takes a bit longer.
- Huh, I don't remember making this comment

Why, I do a pre-drive 100 points checklist, starting with the right wheel lug nut...
- Might need to add a few more points to the list if there's only one lug nut on that single right wheel
- Right front or right rear?
  
  Dude he's clearly talking about a motorcycle

Waiting for the glow plugs.
- Same, TDI life.

Waiting for the will to live to kick back in after that brief pause when you're alone in a quiet space

well, I usually roll a few cigarettes for the road, put directions on Google maps, and adjust my seating/coffee/whatever else I need to be comfortable. In total it takes a minute or two.

Brushing off the snow and scraping off the ice from my windows

Get in
Start car
Connect up bluetooth for tunes
Wait for startup high-idle to finish warming the cats or whatever
Drive

- okay but I think you misunderstood the assignment. He's asking what are you doing BEFORE you start the car?

My mother will sit in the car and watch at least three tiktoks before starting the car and before getting out .

Starting Spotify and syncing it with Android Auto

Waiting for my old phone to get ready to navigate and play music

Setting up music, navigation, and letting it defrost

Leaning in, starting the car, hitting the garage door button, putting stuff in, grabbing ice scraper, begrudgingly pondering why I had to get another car that's currently in the garage, parked where if my running one was it would not need scraping.

Transmission is slow on startup (especially when cold) so the first shift always takes a while to engage, and I have to watch the lights to see if I still have enough coolant (fun leak)
- Some people claimed that one of those stop-leak/stop-slip transmission treatment will help, maybe you should give it a try.
  
  Those can also fuck up your cooling pump
  
  I did, this buddy is too far gone, 3rd gear practically doesn't exist

if it's winter and really cold I'll let the car run for a bit before going. also have to clear ice/snow off the car sometimes too.

Not often this is the case, but when it is; it's always "fuck my seatbelt got stuck, let me pull it slowly"

I get in:
seat belt
turn on car
fix phone stuff
fix temperature and/or windows open/close
make sure seat/mirrors are good to go
jam to music
then cautiously head out and drive