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chapotraphouse @hexbear.net
Nakoichi [they/them] @hexbear.net

I'm feeling very misanthropic folks

I lost my canvasing job because I could not convince people directly complicit in genocide living extremely wealthy lives to donate $20 a month to feed the children their government is bombing.

I want to give up. I am about to run out of rent and bill money, all my savings and meager inheritance from my dead grandmother is gone. I gave almost all of it away, then I lost my job.

I don't know what to do now, my mind wanders to adventurism.

51 comments

  • I don't know what to say other than you're one of my favorite people here, please value yourself and don't resort to adventurism. Hopefully you're just joking about that part.

    Even if you don't think what you do has any impact, don't believe that. It does, it's literally impossible for you to not have an impact. You matter, you're here, and you are valuable.

    You've been working hard and you're burnt out. Take a step back, find another job, recover your strength. Praxis will be there for you if and when you are ready and able. Remember that the mutual aid comm is here if you need it.

  • me too thanks. felling the same.

    at least find some good targets if you really decide on adventurism.

  • my mind wanders to adventurism.

    I'm feeling you there, this month has really been awful. For me it started with losing a friend, the pain has been indescribable. Making things worse most of my spending money this month has since gone to attempting to bail out another comrade picked up by ICE since then. Fortunately my work has been blessedly stable in spite of things or I would really be starting to lose it.

    Despite that stability it's been almost impossible to focus on work with the ICE gestapo hanging out in my neighborhood pretty much every day. I hope I don't end up suffering consequences for that but either way there's no end in sight and that's starting to wear on me.

    I hope you manage to find something and please don't hesitate to reach out if you need help.

    • My grandmother's memorial was last week and I couldn't go because work. Now I am sitting in the bar at the bowling alley about to sing come out ye black and tans

  • Is your local parks department hiring seasonal workers? As a stop-gap, there has never been a job I've enjoyed more. You get to do real work for your community and they're grateful for it to the point of thanking you multiple times per day. The pay sucks but it feels like the kind of job I'd do under communism.

    • I don't have a driver license

      • Do you have state issued ID, despite it not being a driving license?

        City where I've moved to usually has crews out in multiple individuals, and typically only one person is checked out to drive; on insurance, licensed etc. They hire folks with just ID here all the time.

      • That can be a tricky circumstance but one that my local department would work around. At least here they always operate in crews of 2-4+ for safety reasons and my coworkers have no problem divvying up the driving duties. For inter-park vehicles like Toolcats, Gators, and mowers there's no license required and those are the only things non-horticulturists drive.

    • I did this once and second the idea. I specifically worked in aquatics, public pools need more people during the summer for obvious reasons, if you can swim and are fit enough for lifeguarding then all the better but I wasn't and it still helped me fill a gap in my life.

      • Our local recreation department, the ones who manage pools, seems like a great place to work. They also manage the concert halls, museums, and spots like the community farms within parks. There's so much diversity and once you're in with the city you can easily transfer wherever. I'd totally apply there if I wasn't specialised in plants.

  • Every morning I wake up, I ask myself one thing: against what or whom will I now have my revenge against society?

    I have spent the majority of my life so utterly consumed by justified and highly depressive misanthropic disgust, that it's fully circled back around to cackling Pythonesque whimsy

  • You're in similar enough company. I had two family members die this year and I've drifted from a lot of my lib friends due to the genocide. My career is at least going excellent, but fucking hell I'm going batty.

    • I got another job interview next week, gonna try to get into being a telephone sales rep and land me an office job. I have zero experience but I am a really really good bullshitter.

  • I hope the last line isn’t serious and it’s just an offhand remark due to your situation like I totally understand the emotional toll unemployment has but using this as the motivator to think about doing adventurism is really immature.

    You do understand that it’s not just you that suffers the consequences but your family members, friends, and loved ones who are now going to be monitored by the state for as long as they’re in power?

    I don’t think it’s fair to subject them to this over this insatiable urge to be martyred, I think this is an issue with a lot of people who have their ideological awakening online. Jt isn’t a healthy outlook not just as a leftist but as a person and there’s better ways you can manage the stresses you’re experiencing.

    • I hope the last line isn’t serious and it’s just an offhand remark due to your situation

      I wish it were

      monitored by the state

      Buddy this has likely been run through several state agencies. You are terribly misinformed.

      • I don’t understand what you mean, what has likely been run through state agencies?

        Also I don’t want to encourage this behavior it’s very defeatist and counter-revolutionary and you should know better if you’re a real leftist. Money running out and being laid off aren’t good excuses to do an adventurism.

        Also you strike me as someone young so if this is the case you have to understand that as you age and the more you develop and spend time doing productive things like community work and organizational work, you will be less likely to see adventurism as an option. I just think you need to be told that it’s cringe to say a certain thing for an online audience because we’re all just usernames. Please don’t do anything stupid

  • I vacillate on my levels of misanthopy depending upon time of day and day of week.

    Its a real thing i struggle with some times. Solidarity comrade. I dont have advice to give, and if i did it would likely suck, but i just wanted to speak up and say i empathize with you.

51 comments