Infinite Monkey Theorem

We are IN the timeline where a monkey wrote Shakespeare. That monkey was Shakespeare.
- Weird, what a coincidence
  
  Not really, an almost infinite number of non-shakespeare monkeys came before him and also didn't happen to write the entire works of shakespeare.
  
  I mean it was bound to happen at some point
- Yeah, it's weird how nobody talks about the trillions of trillions of plays Shakespeare wrote that are complete gibberish.
  
  Hey! I liked Romeo and Djrurleltkitshsnmqlaapj
- Did you know a monkey can write Shakespeare's work using this simple trick (millions of years of evolution)?
- Yeah but did he do it with a typewriter? Didn't think so
- Shakespeare was an ape
  
  Apes are monkeys. Fuck paraphyletic groups.
  
  A great one at that
- He was an ape
- He wrote it in the wrong order tho
- Mind. Blown.
- What if you could math the monkeys?
- Unless you think it was a different monkey because someone without noble blood couldn't possibly write good.

If you have an infinite amount of monkeys and they're all typing truly randomly, then an infinite number of them would get it correct on the first try. Which is sort of weird to think about lol.
- Most people don't get the thought experiment at all.
  I've seen 300+ deep comment chains on reddit with people arguing bitterly back and forth if a monkey could even operate a typewriter, and how it's absolutely impossible to get monkeys to type out a book, etc, etc, etc.
  I hate it here.
  
  I think too many people don't consider the monkey is not supposed to be making decisions, it's just supposed to be inputting anything, literally anything, on a typewriter.
  Like a random value generator, for typewriter keys.
  
  The funny thing is, if you truly have infinite monkeys, it doesn't matter if they're using it correctly or not. There is an infinite amount of them.
- This is why I go online.

I'm starting a 2nd order monkey typing business attempting to use a bigger infinity of monkeys to eventually recreate the works of the first set of infinite monkeys.
- Since monkeys tend to hit the same keys repeatedly, rather than trying them all out at random, I'd say your second order monkey business is actually more likely to succeed than the first set of monkeys ever typing out Shakespeare is.

I grew up with the guy in the pic btw. He was always kinda intense.
- Did he have a loicense for his screaming?

We do a little trolling... 😁
https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?a_glooming_peace_this_morning_with_it_brings.:1
Source: Library of Babel; Volume 16 on Shelf 5 of Wall 1 of Hexagon

As an IT guy, there will always be a special place in my heart for the awesome person who wrote a protocol suite for this use case (it is a lot of fun to read):
https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc2795.txt
- There are quite a few April Fool RFCs, but this one is definitely one of my favourites. This one and RFC 1149 (A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers).
  
  Pretty sure 1149 did actually beat Australian internet in large file transfer speed in a real test.
  
  Indeed. My partner wants to get into falconry, and I'm worried about my data getting encapsulated in a hawk.

I have an infinite number of rooms, so I'm putting two monkeys in each room with two typewriters.
Now I can do it in half the time.
- Two new monkeys show up, and even though the infinite rooms and infinite typewriters are already occupied, you can make room for them by making all of the monkeys move over one room, and putting the new monkeys in that newly vacant room with the newly available typewriters.
  
  Omg I just read about that the other day but I'm too stupid and forgetful... Something about the existence of inf + 1
- Yeah, but since an infinite number of monkeys are working on it already, it will be just one copy for each of the infinite number of monkeys.
- The monkeys now have sex with each other non stop. You're now going at 10% of the speed you were previously.

892 trillion years sounds like a minuscule amount of time to wait for a string that long.
Like you already got unbelievably lucky.
- But arent there infinite monkeys? You should have already seen it written an infinite amount of times in 892 trillion years
  
  As written this guy only has one monkey.
  
  Perhaps it's in the monkey's psychology that they'd never hit the keys that much before just destroying it all. They're a pretty poor pick for a random value generator.
  
  Not necessarily. There are an infinite number of positive numbers, but -13 will never be one of them. Ergo, even with infinite possibilities, you still may not see a particular combination (even if it does fit the criteria; my metaphor is imperfect).

- The defeater is each key needs to be statistically as likely as any other key to be pressed next, i.e. statistically independent events. For example after a monkey pressed S they are then just as likely to press K as W. If there is any reason they prefer a key or sequence you don't get a normal distribution and they probably will never create any of Shakespeare's works.
  
  haha no, if you have a magic infinite sized room with an infinite number of magic, immortal monkeys, with an infinite number of typewriters with infinite paper and ink, you don't even need to park the monkeys in front the fucking keyboard, you will instantaneously have all the works of Shakespeare and every other book ever published and every book never published, and probably an infinite number of volumes of books that reveal every secret of the universe. (The hard part will be finding them.)
  Instantly.
  Just by having the means for anything random to happen to those keyboards on an infinite scale. The thought experiment isn't designed to make you believe that anything is possible as much as it's designed to show you the absurdity of infinity as a concept.
  
  What? That’s not what independence means. They need to be independent, yes, because otherwise you might get into weird corner cases where the probably doesn’t converge to 1, but they don’t have to be equally likely. In fact, weighing the odds based on how often letters are used by Shakespeare should lower the expected timeframe. Heck, Shakespeare doesn’t use “J”, why would that key even be relevant? Where in the world do normal distributions even come into this? How does this comment have 4 upvotes? What am I missing here?
  
  You don't need a normal distribution or statistical independence. It just requires that any given key combination remain possible.
  No matter how unlikely, anything that is possible will eventually happen in an infinite time.

https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/2fd66245-5a4e-48ff-a1e0-1519ac95737d
A short stay in hell
- NO
  DO NOT READ THIS

That which we call a gyatt by any other name would skibidi rizz just AF. No cap.

We are the monkeys.
We wrote it all.
Even Skibidi toilet.

We all evolved from monkeys, there have been millions of us, and one of us already wrote the works of Shakespear
- We are evolved from a common ancestor to all great apes.
  A great ape is not a monkey.
  Don’t belittle your heritage or I’ll be forced to resolve this like our ancestors, by slinging feces at you until you leave.

Is that an actual sentence?