3d ago

Trump signs executive order on water pressure to ‘restore shower freedom’

www.theguardian.com

“In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair,” Trump said as he signed the executive order, which the White House said would apply to multiple household appliances, including toilets and sinks. “I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous.”

Not The Onion @lemmy.world

MHLoppy @fedia.io

3d ago

Trump signs executive order on water pressure to ‘restore shower freedom’

www.theguardian.com /us-news/2025/apr/09/trump-water-pressure-executive-order

48 comments

Thank God. Trump is saving America. This is like our #1 problem 💪🇺🇲🦅

to take care of my beautiful hair
The Onion staff on suicide watch
- They have no work left to be done.

Is he aware that this will not apply to golden showers?
- It can with federally mandated kegel exercises.

He signs an executive order to change things nationally when all he apparently needed was a plumber.
- Unless I'm missing something, it was about flowrates in showers and sinks...
  Nothing about showers, he's just rambling.

Bros over at the guardian knew exactly what they were doing when they chose that picture.
- What were they doing when they chose that picture? 🤷‍♀️
  
  Its a golden shower. A billion years ago a spy paid by Republicans and the Clinton campaign claimed Donald Trump was comprised by Russia via recordings of himself being urinated on by underage Russian hookers. This sex act is frequently referred to as golden showers. A side note is that despite the allegation being children pissing on trump, many late night hosts wanted the pee tapes released to the public; proving yet again no one you see on tv is a good person now that Mr Rogers is dead.
  
  the shower head is golden

His "hair" is so unnatural it's hydrophobic

That's cute that anyone thinks he flushes after himself. He's the kind of dickhead that doesn't even sit down and sprays paste all over the seat and bowl then leaves it for someone else to deal with.

"No need to think about the market manipulation guys I'm getting you more water pressure" - Trump
“It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous.”
He thinks too much about his little pp.

Not The Onion.

Is there really some issue with plumbing in US or is it all in his head?
- I removed the flow regulator from my shower head as it gets clogged by my hard water.
  
  You can put it in a glass of hot watter with couple of spoons of citric acid in it for 5 minutes and put it back, and it will be good again for a month or so
- Water regulations are all over the place when it comes to the different states. Sometime in the 90s ( I think it was then ) new regulations were put in place to reduce the maximum allowable water usage per flush of a toilet and the maximum allowed flow of gallons per minute for all plumbing fixtures.
  They were put in place to reduce water waste but many people Trumps age disagree with the regulations due to the effect - like he mentioned - of most showers being limited to x gpm and the perceived change in the resultant shower quality.
  Like most regulations manufacturers just make stuff that passes the most stringent requirments and sell them everywhere, so even if your state doesn't require a 1.5gpm shower head you might only be able to buy 1.5gpm shower heads.
  I think this is what he's trying to change anyway.
  
  Interesting. I live in a place that often has drought but the regulations focus more on agricultural use, swimming pools and public uses like beach showers, fountains and so on. No one is regulating toilets and shower heads. I think it's assumed that everyone gets the same water pressure and that's it, no need to regulated it on a toilet level.
- The actual pressure is determined by the height of the water tower in which the water is stored. There are regulations as to the minimum water pressure for safety reasons. I'm my area the minimum pressure is 50psi. The government, at least to this point, had pretty good regulations regarding pathogens and stuff so these rules apply, as others have suggested, to the flow and capacities of various plumbing fixtures.

I honestly cannot believe this is real. It seems legit but...
It's so fucking frivolous.
- Only if you're assuming benevolence on Trump's part. What if we assume malice? Undermining a country's water security is a big accomplishment.
  
  I'm assuming levels of idiocy. Sure, he's a cruel idiot but this is another level of stupidly pointless. He isn't someone to insidiously undermine water security. He'd just try to deport the springwater.

Life imitating Seinfeld.
- https://makeagif.com/gif/the-best-of-kramer-the-shower-head-WjtfKC

If he needs to flush 10 to 15 times, he needs to eat more fiber. Maybe put the Mickie Ds down.
- Plus water line pressure has absolutely nothing to do with toilet flushing in residential toilets lol. That's purely determined by the tank reservoir and outlet design.

In tonights news, "Authorities are left confused, as old man yells at, then attacks local windmills."

Hope he drowns in all that flow
- a golden shower, you say?
  
  Those are unregulated already. Maybe nobody told him?

This has to be a joke

How is it freedom being under high pressure.

This is one of those things I haven't considered thoroughly for other regions. Where I live in Utah there are no water towers and water pressure is practically a fact of life.
- Water towers are simply outdated, in most of Europe you don't find any.
- cries in the Benches

Lmao I can't even

I'm generally fine with removing water efficiency regulations. The government should be internalizing any externalities associated with water availability via the price of water, anyway, not mandating specific solutions, and if you do that then you've solved the problem. If people want to pay what it costs to obtain water for some use, that's fine in my book, and that solves the problem, lets them incorporate their values. If you don't want to be paying high water bills, then get water-efficient appliances. If you want to pay the cost of obtaining extra water because you want a longer shower or a lawn or a pool or whatever, knock yourself out. I'm fine with the government mandating water-efficiency labeling, so that people can make informed comparisons about how much a shower head or toilet or whatever uses, but it should be individuals making the value calls on where they want water usage to be.
There are cases where there are legitimate emergencies, where the market has no time to respond, and you have to ration a good. Say that, oh, there's a dam failure. Okay, sure. Then having regulations that restrict any non-essential water use is fine. But that's a different scenario from the long-run stuff associated with water use efficiency on appliances.
If you aren't internalizing costs associated with water consumption into the price of water, then it's not just that you aren't just incorporating end-user usage preferences, you're opening yourself to problems where people inefficiently use the limited resource in some other way that you haven't accounted for.
Given time, you can get more water --- it's just a function of how expensive it is to obtain, purify, and transport.
You can build more water transport infrastructure -- California moves residential water across the whole state; it has rainforest in the north and desert in the south.
You can process sewage and recover water from that, make your water system a closed loop.
In many places, you can desalinate water from the ocean --- San Diego, which is in the coastal desert, buys desalinated water for $3,400 per acre foot as of 2024 -- and California has fairly expensive electricity as the US goes, which is a major input there. Looking online, depending upon water usage, a typical household might use somewhere between 1 and 0.25 acre-feet per year.
- This guy is trying to make a long shower something only the wealthy can access.
  Counterpoint: limit water flow in shower heads and toilets to a reasonable amount in order to keep costs down for everyone.
  
  Waiting for the government to say that fuel injection just drips gas into the car. We need to free the gas, let it pour into the cylinder.
- That's cool, for people who get a choice in the appliances and fittings in their houses. Fuck renters, I guess?
  
  I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
  “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
  “What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
  “Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
  The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
  “Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
  “Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
  He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
  “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
  I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
  “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
  “Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
  “Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
  It didn’t seem like they did.
  “Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
  Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
  I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
  “Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
  Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
  “Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
  I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
  He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
  “All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
  “Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
  “Because I was afraid.”
  “Afraid?”
  “Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
  I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
  “Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
  He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.

48 comments