Trump Orders Musk to Get Air Force One Finished Quickly, Even If It Isn't Fully Safe Yet
Donald Trump is bringing in Elon Musk to speed up Boeing's lagging construction of two new Air Force One jets.
Wouldn't be the first time for high ranking officials to die that way. It happened at least once in the soviet union.
It happend in Poland in 2010 too :)
We need a sky god to start making our annual billionaire sacrifice too.
The gods of the deep need some of that, too. Titan was a worthy sacrifice.
Why not both?
Yes. Make him hasten the process. And have both of them on all flights.
We know you can make it happen God, we've seen you do it with that skit-of-skits billionaire sub thing God. We know you just need them to all willingly line up God. Well they're lining up, God! They're willingly lining up! It's your time to shine God!
John 14:13
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
Would be even better if they got boeing to help too. Would be just the best plane ever, such a great plane. Other people would look at it (as it explodes in a fireball in the sky) and say wow what a beautiful thing
Beside all the jokes that we want the president and trump to ride that plane together... He's on a mission to save as much money as possible and then he wants two new airplanes for himself???
So technically they were commissioned during the Obama era, Trump 1 threatened to cancel the program if the budget went over 4 billion, then Boeing appeased him.
Also the reason they were commissioned to save money. Aging aircraft are a bitch to operate. That's why cheap airlines like Ryanair only run new planes.
Also there are already two of them. I suppose one is probably a backup?
Also, fun fact, technically any plane that the US president is currently flying on, is at that moment, Air Force One.
1 for him to golf, and 1 for secret meeting with putin/russians.
sounds like a chance for the world. boing is doing so well in recent years. get all republicans on that plane. put bannon in. put all other friends of epstein on that plane and have it tour the world.
trump killing himself by using Musk to skirt safety precautions so he can feel special riding around in a shiny new ego tube might be enough to get me wondering if god exists.
It's not a death threat if you're supporting their death wish.
Please let them both ride it together, please please please.
And take the new FBI director, I hear he likes plane rides.
Ordinarily, the implied result would be sad due to the press corps flies on air Force one as well, but now that they've replaced all reputable news outlets with Fox clones... Let's do this!
This is starting to feel like someone's playing a joke on me and the whole world is on it.
Please have Boeing do this. Focus on the doors.
Oh wow, what's the worst that could happen, they skip safety and defense features and the plane gets shot down and the president killed? Oh man, that would be horrible, just horrible!
It's good they chose Boeing to build it lol
And will blame liberals. Vance would probably call for open violence on any non white christans
Please, God, if you're listening, do something really really funny with this.
Holy shit so many desperate prayers in one thread
I think they can be convinced to pause their game of Jenga or Connect Four for a few minutes of structural integrity or engine failure
The Big Man .. Big Entity has Big Priorities, you know?
With the recent history in aviation, I'm going to be praying like mad. Please tell me they're still Boeing products?
OceanGate!
funny thing stockton used "used defective airplane parts to make that sub"
Next will be SkyGate. The year the GateVatar will be born.
I was gonna say, hopefully Trump's up for some deep sea exploration next!
Could Musk be useful for something after all?
Hurry Elon, hurry. Godspeed.
Take every drug you need.
Faster I said !
Dear Boeing,
I know i said i wanted world peace. Hear me out.
Oh! Wouldn't that be a nice resolution...
Put the President and Trump on an unsafe plane and sent that bitch on a nice long flight over the ocean.
Seems like an opportunity for Musk to create plausible deniability for taking the throne.
The only bad part about the obvious outcome here is that we'll have the 9/11 and JFK conspiracy theorist types jerking themselves raw about how it was absolutely a conspiracy to assassinate him.
Yeah, they'll say that no matter how he dies. "Deep state operatives made him eat that fatal cheeseberder on the toilet!"
No matter how he dies, there will be a contingent insisting he isn't actually dead.
Some of those insane QAnon people think JFK is still alive. Not JFK, Jr. JFK. Who was born in 1917.
He'll get the pox and they'll have to cook up some kind of "ultra super duper deep state, for real this time" to blame it on
Or, "He died because the CIA has a fatal colonic catastrophe ray".
Some things are worth it.
Agreed, I just hope the flight crew has a trapdoor with a rack of chutes somewhere, they don’t deserve to be punished for being good Airmen
Would it be so bad if it was?
So...
Look do you really need to tighten every screw? Maybe skip every 8th one or use the aluminum screws instead of the steel ones - then you can carry more screws.
I have lots of ideas how they could speed this up.
SpaceX and BOEING engineers. You know what to do, right? GET TO WORK!
DOGE needs to get rid of those pesky safety regulations holding up the plane.
I hear getting rid of QA and QC makes the job go quicker while being cheaper.
Quick Actions, Quite Cheap
I can confirm, it does indeed.
It's the pressure differential between the top and bottom of the wings that hold up the plane
The less safe the better.
Finally a positive news :)
Trump is completely right on this issue. Despite the fact his plane is produced by a company plagued with consistent quality control issues I believe this should be rushed into service as quickly as possible. In fact, I agree that the anyone including temp workers should be allowed in to get this thing in the air today.
All those lights and dials and displays in the cockpit take the pilot's attention off of flying. Don't need 'em.
I'll even help.
This could be amazing.
"Never interrupt your opponent while he is in the middle of making a mistake."
"Trump dies in fatal Boeing crash, after rushing its production" is a headline id love to see
"Trump dies in fatal Boeing crash, after rushing its production" is a headline id love to see
After rushing it's production and firing all the FAA safety inspectors.
Where can I donate funds to this cause?
Maybe if we all concentrate hard enough we can will our reality back on track and make this happen. Somewhere around 2016 someone at CERN started a new experiment and ever since we've been in the wrong universe, through concerted efforts of enough of Earth's latent psychics maybe we can push this world back towards the correct timeline.
Or maybe make things worse.
There would be a celebration in the streets. Doubly so if Musk was also onboard.
please_god_so_fucking_funny.png
Two new Air Force One
Two new
One
REEEEEEE, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
Any plane the President is on board is designated Air Force One. I know you’re half joking, but
It's not just half
Yay
An underpaid Boeing engineer has a chance to accidentally do one of the funniest, most earth saving oopsies of all time.
I don’t think they let the VP travel in the same plane at the same time so probably not as earth saving as you’d expect. Definitely very funny though.
You want Vance? That's how you get Vance.
Vance is evil, Vance is moderately competent. Vance is also unable to muster the will to coup. Vance is to trump what Biden was to Obama. Associated and acceptable.
Vance might be smarter then Trump but there's not a chance MAGA coalesces around him if Trump dies. Without that, congressional R's won't bend the knee so readily.
After Hitler built a cult for himself, some senior nazi officials tried to assassinate him in operation Valkyrie. They didn't think they would be able to retain popularity without him unless he died a martyr, in which case whoever took over would be able to use it as a rallying cry. If trump is assassinated, that's exactly what Vance will do.
Oh man. Please. Please.
Not that it matters. Another bumbling moron is next in line. Then after that a religious zealot.
But for my own satisfaction....pleeeease.
Just throw a door plug in that sucker, Boeing
Finally, a Trump order I agree with
I'm pretty handy with a roll of construction tape if they need help.
Really rooting for them on that corner-cutting endeavor. What's the worst that could happen?
Some Boeing workers could be real American heroes right about now.
In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
By royal decree, the children of maintenance workers are to travel in the rear of the aircraft. /s
A real team effort if the air traffic controllers join the effort too
I'm reminded of that one time the entire Polish government was killed in a plane crash in Smolensk.
The worst thing that could happen would be nothing going wrong.
Well, the BEST that could happen would be for it to crash into the side of a mountain while both of them are on it. Bonus points if Vance, Johnson, and Stephen Miller are on it too.
They should just screw the schedule and get on the plane right now
probably repurpose/ reused used spacex, tesla vehicle materials
Yes please
I like where this is going.
Boeing, Musk, and a rushed time frame? I've rarely seen a better recipe for disaster. Maybe we are lucky and Trump and his cronies just fall from the sky even on the first flight.
And don't forget gutting the FAA.
The only job the FAA has with regards to Airforce One is to keep the sky free if AO is up there. Might be a problem, though.
The worst that can happen is the plane falls out of the sky and some how Trump survives while everyone else dies.
Well, he is no angel, so the chance that he would fly is neglectable.
I'm sure they're good enough right now, send 'em on over.
Do it and take the entire republican leadership out for a joy ride. It will be the most spectacular thing ever.
I think glitch McCuntel has a pilot’s license. Let him and Jesus take the wheel.
Full Self Flying has got everything under control
Maybe one of those OceanGate guys who didn't turn into a fine pink mist can hook him up with a MadCatz controller
The AP will be the only media that survives.
The irony would be delicious
If Musk can fly a rocket, Trump reportedly told associates, per the NYT, he can probably fly an airplane.
He's never been on one of his rockets. He's too chickenshit. Fuck Bezos, but at least he had the balls to go up on a Blue Origin rocket. If you think Musk is ever going to Mars, you're wrong.
he knows his rockets are shoddy at best, why would he. has he ever driven his own teslas?
Man I hope Elon works expeditiously don’t wanna waste any time
Man, it's wild to me to put the guy who wants your throne in charge of making your plane, but there you are. No matter what, I just hope Musk puts the same care and thoughtfulness he puts in all his manufacturing endeavors to the task.
If Musk can fly a rocket, Trump reportedly told associates, per the NYT, he can probably fly an airplane.
You guys are all such a joke.
Sucks millions or billions will die when you blame the plane crash on Canada or Denmark or Ukraine.
or Mexico, or Panama, or the UK, or everyone except for the AFD in Germany.
The US is looking awfully lonely right now
Is that pile of punctuation another one of elons kids?
The quality of the average Tesla should be the target.
Can't wait to see his memoir "Half Assed, The Trump Legacy"
Oh... I am loving this! I hope he puts it on a rush job to be completed and in the air with Trump, and his whole cabinet on board within 1 month.
EDIT
I hope we come up with a US Navy 1 submersible too, built by Elon! Trump can get in the idiot squisher too!
SF1 get hit by de rock hoppa
I mean, realistically, we would probably be just fine with Air Force One having no security systems at all. Like, the likelihood that someone is going to attack Air Force One probably isn't all that high, and you can also mitigate that by choosing where to fly the thing.
And as long as Trump understands any risk that he exposes himself to...I mean, it's not as if a future President is required to use the Trump-era Air Force One. It's really just him and people during his administration.
Most national leaders don't have anything like the kind of protection that the President does.
Now, granted, most also haven't had four assassination attempts against them be intercepted in past months, but I'm also not sure that shooting down Air Force One is the easiest way to assassinate the President, either.
EDIT: And I think that it's also worth considering that some of our norms for modern Presidential travel were developed during the Cold War, in an era of potential nuclear conflict where launch-on-warning was part of nuclear doctrine. In that scenario, the President needs to travel around with the nuclear football, and a decapitation strike might be an important early first move in a nuclear war.
But we haven't relied on launch-on-warning for a long time. The President is a lot more expendable in the context of dealing with an opposing nuclear first strike today; it's the SLBM arsenal used to counter that now.
Today, if a hostile state kills the President, it might produce disruption for a short period...but that disruption probably isn't going to buy all that much, strategically.
Today, if a hostile state kills the President, it might produce disruption for a short period…but that disruption probably isn’t going to buy all that much, strategically.
Can't possibly be any more disruption than what the current president is causing... So I'd call it a win if he was taken out.
I always thought Air Force One needed security to prevent terrorists from taking the president hostage and forcing them to release more terrorists. But, our current president already lets a bunch of terrorists go like the Taliban and Jan Sixers.
Most politicians are fine riding a bicycle to work, ride a train or a normal car, just fly a normal ass airline, things like that. But americans need them to ride in a tank because they love to kiss the feet of their celebrity overloards. I mean putin obviously can't or kim jong-un can't which says a lot.
A boy can only dream ;)
Musk orders Trump not the other way around
I hear Boeing is great at getting planes finished remarkably quickly...>.>
doors optional
i mean the weight of a buddy can suddenly" be cut in half midair"