Find yourself an old person

Wait, am I officially old? Does that mean I can finally go full Gandalf and start all my courses with bad "you shall not pass" jokes?

Would someone who was old in 1990 even be alive today?

Shit.
Me sitting here still working a day job with my ancient, born-in-1970, worn-out self. Sounds like I should be retired already, if not dead.
They aren't wrong though. Find yourself an old person. We just want to sit, eat, watch a little TV, and be in bed by 9.
Bonus: some of us know how to fix the shit that falls apart, and many of us even own a house.
Before you get all excited, I'm already taken. Some young thing already got me hitched (she was born in 1971).
- Me sitting here still working a day job with my ancient, born-in-1970, worn-out self. Sounds like I should be retired already, if not dead.
  Legend has it, that a ghost roams this cubicle. Sometimes, when the inbox is full, you can here him moan about missing paperclips.
- Born in '92, wife born in '93. We own our home and work day jobs. The pay is fine. I mean, we own our house so I guess we're doing better than a lot of others our age.
  If I buy a thing, I go out of my way to buy something repairable. I'm not swapping board components, mind you, but I can swap a laptop battery, change my engine oil, replace a home thermostat, you get it. Plumbing, I refuse to do. I'll do minor electrical work, but plumbing is a whole animal. It's not a science. It's wizardry. But small maintenance items I do all day. Last weekend, I cleaned my gutters and trimmed some small trees branches away from my house. That was probably $500 worth of work I did in an hour.
  I just want to play my video games, eat good food, wrench on my aging car, and also be in bed by 9.
  I do spin up a CD sometimes for the fun of it.
  I won't call us old yet, but I feel age creeping up on me. My heels hurt all the time and my knees don't take going down stairs as well as they once did. Getting fat didn't help, but I am down 25 pounds since early November. Got that going for me. And I did climb the stairs down the Space Needle at nearly 300 pounds. I've still got a little fight left in me.
  But man, I'm not looking forward to 40.
  
  I’m a few months shy of forty and my body has been racked with stroke damage among other maladies. Aging isn’t that bad. We’ll still be spry. As long as you move your body, your body will still move. Physical therapy in all its forms is important.
  
  Good job on the weight loss. That's my current project, too.
  I don't own a scale, but today was the first time in adult life I could see my toes while standing straight.
  My plan is to make 41 the year I'm in the best shape of my life.
  
  Plumbing, I refuse to do. I'll do minor electrical work, but plumbing is a whole animal. It's not a science. It's wizardry.
  Supply plumbing is no big deal (including soldering copper pipe); it's the drain/vent side that's intimidating.
- Before you get all excited, I'm already taken. Some young thing already got me hitched (she was born in 1971).
  Ugghh, you could at least be available for rent.
  
  I could ask her. She might go for it.

1999 is 25 years old.
How old is a person who considers a 25-year-old "old"? 16? (I mean, besides Di Caprio)
Why does a 16 year old want to settle down?
- They're shitposting to rile up the olds
  
  We prefer "The Ancient Ones".
- How old is a person who considers a 25-year-old "old"? 16?
  This is a message my friend received from her 33 year old brother:
  
  wtf

Ah, the arrogance of youth.

I'm only 39 ☹️

Am I the only one that's mid-30s, reasonably physically healthy, and only exhausted in ways that are unrelated to age? I don't even work out that diligently and I eat like garbage half the time lol. I'm just eepy because of my emotional issues haha

Ha. I knew the fediverse was full of you old bastards. ... So who's got a house that's nearly paid off? I find that very hot.
- I think you'll have to look in the retirement segment for that. Us millennials had a bunch of trouble getting into the housing market but I think were eventually able to with parental help; we're likely currently managing some mortgages OK.
  The generations after us seem less able to get into the housing market even with parental aid. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, it's not like a housing crisis could destabilise politics in general or anything.
- 🙋‍♂️
  It’s also falling apart and needs a new roof and probably 50k worth of various repairs done on top of that. I am also getting slowly taxed out of my neighborhood.
  
  Same here except the being tax out of the neighborhood part. Also we have new windows and roof. But still need siding, painting, and inside needs lots of work.
- is 29 years from now "nearly"?
- 🙋‍♂️
  Bought around 12 years ago. Original plan was to live there for about 5 years and then get something bigger, make kids and rent my small house. So I financed it with low payments that it would be no financial burden for me.
  Then I got busy, did not find a house I liked until all prices exploded. Here I am now: Although I earn much more I’m too poor to buy something bigger, while feeling guilty knowing how cheap my house was back then. It’s really fucked up.

Ancient one here.
I can detect other ancients when they give me their area code and then the phone number. The young ones just quickly rattle off the whole thing.
- Do people not put spaces between each set of numbers?
  "123... 456... 7890"

1970s checking in. Can someone direct me to the nursing home? Tired doesn't begin to describe it.
- I've been in "I'm tired boss" territory since November. I wanna be sedated until this is over.
- We can't afford nursing homes anymore. We're going back to wandering into the woods to be eaten by coyotes to conserve resources for our loved ones.
- We need archaeologists according to OP.
- We got perspective tho. Over the weekend I was talking to this kid who was a waitress at the Latino food place and she was freaking out about the situation, but I was like: This happens every 10-15 years, we can survive.
  
  It's exhausting though. I remember naively thinking it couldn't get worse than Reagan. Dubya was an eye opener. Progression is going to have me taking up arms in my 70s.

Those people are tied.
Old, young, we can debate this all day. But anyone around here (USA) in the 30-and-over bracket almost certainly feels tired as fuck this week.
- This week, last week, probably next week too. Let's slow down. No need to get too carried away.
- This week/this month/this decade
  I want off Mr Bones' Wild Ride
  
  My house/country/body/century/planet
  Get me out of here. (Scientists, biohackers, and/or aliens, let's make a deal)
  outside of the skull, that is

1950s here. Am I even allowed to reply, what with one foot in the grave and all.
- Growing up in the 90's, I was led to believe the 50's were black and white.
  Is this true?
  (edit I'm still part of the "ancestors" the post mentions though)

Now listen here you little shits...
- I know it's ragebait, but I will beat him with my cane and a bag of Werther's Originals.
  
  I'm gonna apply extra adhesive so my denture doesn't come loose when I bite him.

I don't get the 1st joke

I frequently work with teenagers. I am but dust and bones to most.
- Catched this piece of exchange white commuting:
  You don't have to Sir me lol
  But, you smell like old people

The Precursors
- Oh, Goddamnit. I'm gonna upvote you, but I want you to know that I'm not happy about it.
  ...
  And just because I can't resist being the "well, ackshully" guy, I think the little blinking line/box in a text editor is considered a cursor, so you'd have to remember punch cards to be a true precursor (or at the very least, the era before keyboards, but I'm sure someone can correct me there)

I must be from the mists of prehistory.
- My wife was born in 1993, her father was born in 1947, and his father was born in 1902.
  My great-grandmother died last year at 100 years old. She was born in 1923. So when my great grandmother was born, my father in law's dad was 21. My four generations back is less time than my wife's two. My father in law retired from trucking before my wife graduated high school.
  My father in law is still kicking. He turns 78 next month. We give him hell a lot for his age. I'll ask him what it was like to see the creation of the world or if dinosaurs were cool.

Nothing like actual young people to make a forty year old want to use the word "callow" like some kind of cane-waving coffin dodger

This is the first time I've been called old, yet I can't really dispute what they said.

71, we are the ancients.
- We're fossils.

Im a 1990 old person and I can confirm, I’m tired.
- 95, my knees have completely given up on me
  
  I'm 87, my back isn't what it used to ne

nothing like a little casual ageism to get my day started in the right direction.

I guess that makes me a dinosaur? Alright then. Get off my lawn, damn mammalians, before I have you for dinner!
- Whatcha got cooking?
  
  I'm thinking a nice big roast. So make sure you take a shower before you come over. And a full body shave.
- Is that an offer?

One thing that young people don't understand is that the entire world used to smell like cigarettes all the time. Photos and videos can't really convey this effectively.

He’s a fucking cheeky feotus.

Wtf

that Pulp song is in my head now...
🎶help the aged... 🎶
https://youtu.be/_bZjKC0EaY0
- I think the more fitting one is:
  I currently hate the Sun
  It continues to shine on
  everything I've done..."

GenX itself is the new 90s retro trend? And old. GenX is old now. Quietly owning houses and not discussing it with anyone.
On a more serious note, a version of this is already high on the radar of young, property invested women as they date. Looking out for men who don’t want to date them, they want to date their houses and overall secure situations, and if it comes attached to an ok girl and some sex that’s ok too. If anything it’s considered an epidemic problem with the present dating pool. I’m sure that situation is a problem with all pairing scenarios.
So this is a funny but not sort of comment because it’s all too real.

Validation for me feeling old

30 is old, 40 is really old, 50 is really really old, so on and so forth. A lot of people get offended by this, but young is 20 or less and middle aged is ~37. Embrace it. Be and live your age. People pretending their 22 when their in their 50s are fucking sad. Be active if you want, but you're not 22 and you will never be that again, and that's cool.
- Thing is, young people don't get to tell me what I have to do. I don't give a shit what younger people deem appropriate for my age. If I want to wear a hoodie at 50 then I'll wear a hoodie. Now get off my lawn.
  
  Wait, since when is wearing a hoodie a young person thing?
  
  Sure, do whatever you want, but if you go to the club when you're in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, you're going to be the old person.
- I respect the tough love here.