TIL: the average person has 9 sexual partners in their lifetime

I dunno, I thought it would be higher.
Sorry, I'm dragging it down adn shouldn't not have been counted
- Same here, I'm celibacy georg throwing off the average
  
  Having sex with -10,000 people every night
- The volcel vanguard salutes you
  
  People should not think less of you on the base of the amount of sex you have, and you shouldn't either.
  This is a nice thought, but insults based on amount of sex are absurdly common. I have seen quite a few people on this site who still do these insults, and it doesn't get removed when I report it. The incel article from a while go was about how we should critique incels for their misogyny rather than them failing to have sex, I see this as pretty similar to the arguments about not body-shaming fascists in that most of the people who will get hit by the insult are not the actual target. From what I remember, that article good job explaining why these insults are harmful and how they hurt a lot of people who they really shouldn't, unfortunately the discussion on that post was very off topic. In my experience, most people who have sex fail to recognize that not everyone who is celibate is an incel ("If so many terrible people have sex and you can't, that must mean you are worse than they are!").
  I would say that insults based on amount of sex a person has should not be allowed, but I am very pessimistic about this actually leading to a change in site culture.
  
  Yeah, I was just doing a Spiders Georg bit. However I do {sometimes|(oftentimes)} feel a bit mal baisée, as they say in the baguette language, and although I'm like 99% deprogrammed from mainstream Sex Culture by this point, I still end up worrying about others' judgment even if I think it's bunk.
- it seems like 99% of people are; either that or i'm the hoar of bablyon incarnate. lol
  (and i'm practically celibate compared to the men i see at the clubs).

Actually a statistical error, the average person has sex with 0 people. Suck'em Fuck'em Georg, who lives in a cave and fucks 10000 people a day is an outlier and should not have been counted
- but then 10000 people a day have sex, so the average would be closer to .1 if they each only fuck em suck em Georg once in a lifetime if he lived to be 100

As a gay man that number is comically low.
- Yeah. The queer community (or at least those I've been part of) are part of why I am surprised at the number.
  
  I think there's definitely a lot of underreporting too.
  Also, no one asked us either, right?
- For the straights I can totally see it. Not even a diss. Just all the gays I've known have game. The bisexuals... that skews low on an almost comically ironic way.

Sitting here at 1 and I'm happy with that, i will not be changing this number as its enough for me. If my bf leaves me no one else would be able to fill in that gap anyway
- Happy for you

as a proud member of the volcel vanguard i do my best every day to lower this average
- Interesting post, would've never considered how the terms here relate until you said it. Incels deserve the shit, and it's interesting to consider that we partially identify the cause of their misogyny with their virginity. It's probably true, but catches the volcel comrades with some Flak on the side.
  Incel is still a good insult when it's a misogynist who WANTS sex but can't possibly have an intimate partner willingly have sex due to their misogyny. It pisses them off (sometimes) which is funny, and "misogynist" is often something they're proud of. But next time I use it I'll throw a "no shade to non-misogynyst and chill virgins*

There was "discourse" on Twitter recently about "body counts", and an interesting conclusion people came to through it: if you were a moderately good looking person in a moderately cool city when tinder first hit the market, you body count tended to be WAY higher than most people.
I can confirm, I'm not even that good looking but I was living in Philly when tinder was first a thing and it was a total fuck fest.
Idk if it was a cultural shift or the app getting enshittified, likely both, but dating apps ain't the same anymore.
- What happened to Tindr?
  
  In terms of how it got worse, in my opinion, the biggest issue is that more people started using it who weren't looking for hook-ups.
  There used to be a separation of apps for different purposes: OkCupid if you were younger and looking for a relationship, there was one for older people but I don't remember the name because I wasn't older at the time, and then there was Tinder for hooking up. And there were other apps, too, like PoF and others.
  Now everyone uses Tinder for everything including finding friends, so that initial hookup aspect is gone. I don't know how the kids break their volcel pledge these days but Tinder has enshittified so much by getting too popular and mainstream that it's become the super-app. OkC has also significantly declined and with it the ability to more easily find more meaningful relationships online, in my opinion.
  Also, they're all owned by the same company now. No surprise.
  
  They've made the amount of likes limited unless you pay. I don't use it myself since I'm married but i remember videos of people setting up diy swiping devices and just mass liking everyone.
  Seems like math to me. If you can only like a few people a day you're not going to get nearly enough matches to get sex consistently. Coupled with the fact that, presumably, the app still feeds you people who haven't logged in forever makes sense to me
  
  A bunch of people were really horny.
- Peak Tinder was like sex hacking, honestly.
  
  I got in right at the tail end. It was nice. Wish I had been more mentally stable though
- why do some people call it "body count"?
  are they killing them after or something? lol
- if you were a moderately good looking person in a moderately cool city when tinder first hit the market, you body count tended to be WAY higher than most people.
  this makes sense actually, i shacked up w/ someone i met from work just as tinder was becoming a thing & became single again post pandemic lockdowns and my number of partners is close to average, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay lower than most of my friends.

I feel weird sometimes about being a good-looking man in his thirties who hasn't had sex in nearly four years. I don't really miss it most of the time, but I feel like I'm supposed to be missing it.
I suppose it's just that I don't care enough to put myself through the awful, awful process of socialization of the romantic kind, which has caused me so much pain over the years. I love making friends and chatting, I hate flirting. I frankly don't understand how people enjoy being attracted to somebody else. Most people actually seem to enjoy flirting and having crushes. A crush is literally one of my top 5 worst feelings in the entire world, and I'm not even joking. It's a fucking waking nightmare to me.
In totally unrelated news, my RAADS-R score is well over 140, huh would you look at that
- It took getting out of a very stressful relationship for me to have a good mentality about sex and dating. It can be tough, it sucks. As long as you feel happy about yourself and what you do though, nothing is the matter. If you are missing something, then something is the matter, but not if you just feel like you should be.
  
  Yeah, most of the time I don't even think about it. It's just that being uninterested in having sex seems to make it more difficult for me to feel like I belong in most social circles of people my age. It's either single guys trying to have sex or guys in monogamous relationships trying to have sex vicariously through single men like me.

1 so far. The fact that I literally can not log off on the politics stuff has dimmed my view of other people so much that I basically cannot relate to anyone in a way that would take a turn towards the intimate. Do I wish that weren't the case? Yeah. Do I really know how to do anything about it? No.

That sounds about right, although unless the survey respondents were all at death's door the number will go up for some of them.
And don't forget that a lot of communities around the world have a strong culture of monogomy and marrying young, bringing down the average.
At the risk of sounding old and lame, in my experience the ideal of having lots of sexual partners is a bit of a mirage in our culture. Nobody gets satisfied by a number and the best sex seems to happen in long-term relationships.
Think about the total number of times you had good sex, rather than the number of different people it was with.
- Oh I don't advocate that having sex with more people is inherently good. I like having new partners, discovering new people, but that's me. Others like other stuff.
  I am surprised at the number, but I guess not on a global scale. I think I exist in large part in a bit of a bubble when it comes to sex I guess.

Not surprised that most people claiming to have had sexed thousands are in fact big ol' pants on fire fibbers.
Unless you're Castro, which is 100% true because he's sexy.
- Even Castro's numbers were inflated by the CIA. He definitely had sex more than average person. But the stuff like a different woman every night is propaganda to portray him as a sexual predator.
  He was kind of a serial monogamist. He'd have an intense relationship for weeks or months were he genuinely seemed to love his partners but then they'd drift apart or events would overtake them (like Lisa Howard the US journalist who the CIA almost certainly killed).
  He does have like 11 children to multiple mothers that are known of (not including Justin Trudeau). So it's still a lot.
  
  He'd have an intense relationship for weeks or months were he genuinely seemed to love his partners but then they'd drift apart or events would overtake them (like Lisa Howard the US journalist who the CIA almost certainly killed).
  Relatable
- I was devastated upon hearing this news. When I was in 6th grade Kyle told me he'd already had a sex with 100 people so I set out to be better than stupid Kyle and now I learn I sucked all these dicks for nothing?? Wth Kyle

Counting is dumb and pointless imo and nothing good can come of either keeping track or disclosing
In fact "I don't want to know how many people you've been with" is a perfect response when some people feel compelled to volunteer this information

I don't ever think of partners in a numerical way. When the time and situation is right, I guess my number goes up. I haven't had too many and am happy sharing intimacy/my life in a selective way. I'm also monogamous which influences how often this happens with someone new.

Another reason why autism is hell
I am very uncomfortable with sex and have only had two sexual partners, but it seems like, on average, people like me are the most often designated as incels or we’re using it as an excuse. It’s also an internal battle too because I know it shouldn’t be all about me, but god do I wish I could find someone who feels the same way about it
Overall though, it’s very shameful. Thought I’d pick up on these nebulous social hierarchies the older I got, but they’re still beating my ass. That’s why the move is to remain as imperceptible as possible 😎

Seems a little high but I'm a cishet volcel and all of my cishet friends have had between 1 and 3 LTRs and none are into hookups so

So if I'm in my 30's and waaaay behind, is there hope I could catch up to the average or am I just gonna be behind forever? lol
- well for one, there isn't inherent value to number going up, it doesn't determine your worth, but secondly yeah I mean I'd say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!
  
  for me the low number is from a compete lack of opportunity and a symptom of horrible social problems.
  having the option would require my life to have vastly improved, which is what i want and have no delusions or expectations of happening,
  
  I'd say chances are probably pretty high of it goin up, especially if you are looking!
  well I've been looking my whole adult life, and still no dice. At this point I have to conclude I'm too broken for anyone to be interested in me, even if only for a FWB or fling or whatever.
- Bigger number doesn't equal better number. But in my experience I received more interest from people when I weren't looking to hook up, probably because it allowed me to interact with them in a personable non horny way.
  I've had some good times using hinge too, but I live in a big city with good public transport, so my life is probably different from yours.
  I know lots of old people who just started to hit their "hoe phase" and I know swinger clubs aren't really for the young and pretty most of the time.
  
  I know lots of old people who just started to hit their "hoe phase" and I know swinger clubs aren't really for the young and pretty most of the time.
  how old are you talkin' here?
- Absolutely. I think the takeaway here should be that 9 partners isn't really a big deal. Like, if you star t having sex between 15-20 and settle down around 25-30 it's just 1-2 people a year. It dosn't take much to get there if you're mentally well, somewhat socially adjusted. And if you're not comfortable in yourself yet but become that later in life, it's a high probability that you'll "catch up" too.
  There's a bunch of cultural and generational aspects of this too of course, but assuming you live in "the west" and go to social gatherings and you're not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting "porn sex" it shouldn't be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you're in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you're basically above average.
  
  you're not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting "porn sex" it shouldn't be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you're in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you're basically above average.
  Stop repeating this shit. "Bad people are fucking. If you aren't, it must be because you're worse than the bad people," is just virgin shaming.
  
  but assuming you live in "the west" and go to social gatherings and you're not a nazi, sex-pest or expecting "porn sex" it shouldn't be a problem. Remember that the bar is incredibly low at this point, at least for men. Like, if you're in your 30s, brush your own teeth, wash your ass with soap, you're basically above average.
  Well, I do all those good things and don't do any of those bad things. Only thing I'm missing is "go to social gatherings" 'cause there's nowhere for me to go. lol

Honestly thought the number would be like 6.

slightly above average gang we out here i see u family

honeytrap you can't make me squeal ya narc

I feel like they should make it a bit higher for you and keep it where it is for me, or something like that, idk

perhaps I am just a slut, but I lost count a LONG time ago lmao

I think most people know though, that the most enjoyable sex is almost always with a loving long term partner who you are intune with the wants and needs of, as opposed to somebody who you dont have that kind of non verbal link with yet and a deeper understanding of what works for both of you

I think I'm just under that number but I'm not a big sex guy

I expected it to be lower, probably personal bias though. 9 seems like a really high number of partners to me, and half of people (ish I know median vs average) have more then that? Surprising.

I've had somewhere between 4-6 sexual partners. So beneath that number. But also I'm pretty sure I've done more variety and volume of sex acts than some folks with higher numbers. So it's kind of moot.

I'd like to see the median and standard deviations as well
- Lower median, huge standard deviation.

We thottin outchea 😤
- Hell yeah

It seems really high for some groups of people I know and really low for other groups of people I know. About right for some others.

damn im a spinster. unless heavy petting counts then im a billionaire

Hello, my fellow slut.

Thought it'd be higher until I realized that's a global average. Unsurprisingly my country's average is higher than global.

I think I had 9 within a year of my first time...

That's funny, I really can't imagine more than 1 for myself. I think I might be on the ace spectrum tho.

Ayyyy finally I overachieved at something

Lost count 2-300 maybe, 1 last decade. Lost all interest today. Suppose it all is how the culture around you are.

Me just being way below average as usual.

The average person in Turkey has 14 sexual partners. Residents of Iceland, New Zealand, and Australia claim 13 or more sexual partners, on average.
The sheep count, right?