Fire ye wizards, says dragon
Fire ye wizards, says dragon
16 comments
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CEO: "Why do we even employ 60 testers when our software have always been mostly bug-free on release and patched within a week?"
The QA who spent the last three weeks pressing the same button 4000 times in different situations:
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Tales from mage support:
Mage: how can I help you
Lord: I was scrying local ladies when all the sudden my crystal ball started screaming that I have the pox and need to throw 100 gold under the bridge to cure it.
Mage: ... tell me you didn't throw gold under the bridge
Lord: ...
Mage: ...
Lord: so anyway you repollished the crystal last week so this is your fault. Fix it.
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Circle of Protection is working: Why do we pay you?
Circle of Protection fails: Why do we pay you?
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Frustrating as hell. IT people have to sell their value, continually. Exactly the sort of people who suck at selling.
They chop IT support, shit happens, they fund IT, nothing happens, rinse and repeat.
Had a great job where I was the lone IT guy, got a seat at the table with the other managers and owners. That's the kinda place you stay at. OTOH, I got a much better offer, they wouldn't match, not even close, ended up spending FAR more to outsource. LOL, I may ask about going back.
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This is why IT should always have a seat at the table. I worked at a place where IT was a branch of Finance and therefore didn't get involved in the big C-level decision making. They had so much technical debt from simply not being involved in any organizational decision (and not being given the light of day for any funding requests because the VP of IT wasn't as far up the ladder as the President of Safety for example, especially ironic when it was a funding request to fulfill a project request from Safety)
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Me this morning on the phone with mage support: My carriage's doors get stuck when messengers try to deliver me messages from the king.
Mage support: I'm gonna need you to bring the carriage in.
I go to the mage's quarters.
Me: Here's the carriage, mage. Is this gonna take long or should I wait around?
Mage: give me your crystal number and I'll project astrally when we're done.
Minutes later.
Mage, appearing on my crystal: have your doors ever opened for messengers from the king?
Me: nah, ever since I got the carriage it's been closed doors. It works for other messengers though. Just not messengers from the king.
Mage: yeah, we're gonna need to recreate the carriage from scratch for security reasons.
Motherfucker if your fix for the laptop's inability to connect to wifi is to format the thing, you're not IT, you're a script kiddie. My bad - you're not a mage, you're a peasant selling counterfeit potions.
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Reformat is faster and they're short staffed already
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That's wizard for "More malware than operating system."
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Saw this when I was on reddit. People from all walks of life were commenting how this was relatable to their job/experiencs. Was pretty cool to see, you never think about some of their obscure jobs that are hella impactful
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Actually, I sometimes wonder about it with my job.
I'm not doing the actual development. I get that's part of being a more senior engineer, but it makes me feel far less effective and skilled when all I do is communicate requirements, balance client needs vs business and infrastructure requirements, and review code and documents to ensure another team of engineers can support it.
But then, usually in some crisis scenario when shit is going down, the engineers responsible for the development become deer in the headlights. Instead of letting everyone panic, it's up to me to identify what broke (or what wasn't working to begin with) implement or communicate any workarounds, and get tickets/tests written up to be worked on/fixed and prioritized. It's those situations that remind me that a lot of our jobs aren't that flashy, but without them, nothing in the world would work.
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I mean yeah, commenter, that's the joke
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Thats why you leave some low severity holes in your defenses on purpose.
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