Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
WASHINGTON, DC–In cooperation with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Wizco Toys of Montclair, NJ, recalled 245,000 Aqua Assault RoboFighters Monday after three dumb kids managed to kill themselves playing with the popular toy, ruining the fun for everybody else.
“I’ve heard some pretty stupid shit in my time, but that has to take the cake,” said Dr. Anderson Hunt, the attending physician. “Why would any kid think he could fire plastic missiles up his nose and expect them to come out his belly button? There’s no point in feeling bad about this child’s demise, because the deck was obviously stacked against him from the start. What we should feel bad about is the fact that because of him, millions of other children will no longer get to fire the RoboFighter’s super-cool Devastator Missiles or soak their friends with its FunFoam WaterBlasters.”