8mo ago

Tucker Carlson claims he was mauled by a demon while asleep, leaving claw marks

Summary

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible. Carlson described waking with intense pain, bleeding claw marks, and an overwhelming urge to read the Bible. He recounted the experience as confusing yet transformative, adding that while he doesn’t expect others to believe him, the incident profoundly impacted him.

Atheism @lemmy.world

Flying Squid @lemmy.world

8mo ago

Tucker Carlson claims he was mauled by a demon while asleep, leaving claw marks

www.the-independent.com /news/world/americas/us-politics/tucker-carlson-mauled-demon-claws-b2639360.html

chapotraphouse @hexbear.net

tree @lemmy.ml

8mo ago

Tucker Carlson claims he was mauled by a demon while asleep, leaving claw marks

www.the-independent.com /news/world/americas/us-politics/tucker-carlson-mauled-demon-claws-b2639360.html

154 comments

At the time, Carlson says, he was asleep in bed with his wife – and four dogs.
I have an alternate theory about those claw marks...
- Even Fido has had enough of his shit
  
  Good dog.
- I watched that video, and had he just stuck to being suddenly awake and having claw marks I would have thought there was something odd. But he led with having four dogs in the bed, so when he said he had claw marks...dear lord, he's either trying too hard to play to some niche audience, or he's really that stupid. At least make the story sound plausible...we know you can lie, why didn't you just leave off some details here to sell it better.
  
  Ever since he got kicked off Fox, he's been making the pivot to the hard right audience, which includes the narrative that they're in a spiritual war against the literal devil.
  It's the same conspiracy-laden bullshit that Alex Jones pushes.
  
  The dude used to wear a bow tie, unironically, and in public no less, so...
  
  I bet it's deliberate. Like a power play knowing his story is clearly bullshit but the morons he's appealing to are believing it making him feel even more superior.
- Yeah, if I were married to Tucker Carlson I'd be pretty messed up too.
  
  Heyo
- We know his wife didn't leave them in the throes of passion, that's for sure
  
  But a mistress that he's trying to cover up? That's plausible.
- https://theonion.com/piss-soaked-tucker-carlson-claims-demon-urinated-on-him-while-he-slept/ ?
- Dude, even small dogs can hog some serious space. 4 dogs? I'm surprised there's any room left for the fucker and his wife. He probably got scratches falling out of bed.
- Holy shit I did not think the alt right could get any fucking dumber.
- "I went to bed and woke up next to this unconscious woman... I was in my bed with the wife and dogs at the time, so she must've been a demon."
- Yeah, i imagine his wife is pretty vicious.
- Is it Tucker Carlson has hell hounds for pets?
- I do too. Paranoid delusions
- His boyfriend choked him out too hard? I'm bad at inferences.
Tucker Carlson and JD Vance had rough normal gay guy sex and he's getting ahead of any story and saying it was demon assault.
I can also take part in conspiracies
- Tucker made the mistake of dressing up as a couch for Halloween.
  
  He was asking for it!
  
  He was asking for it.
- It's why JD Vance's pimp handlers slather him in makeup and eyeliner to keep Tucker interested in MAGA. All funded from the top down by Elon Musk who eats babies in a failed and desperate attempt to stay young.
  
  That's why he makes that many, he has to start numbering them in Xenu...
- The demon turned him into a couch
How to explain away the signs of rough gay sex to your wife.
- How to explain away the signs of rough ~~gay~~ beastial sex to your wife.
  FTFY
- This.
Hey, Christians who believe in demonic possession: How come it's only y'all getting possessed and not my heathen, atheist ass who literally invites the demons in?
- Your atheist ass is inviting people in you say?
  
  Only demons are invited in this atheist ass
- I’m not sure if this was a literal invitation, but I’ll poke my head out.
  It depends on how you interpret scripture. I was raised in a “non-literalist” faith, and some of these beliefs have come to interpret references to “demons,” and what not, being misconstrued as mental illnesses. I believe Richard Dawkins coined the phrase “God of the Gaps” which is not too dissimilar to what is happening in this case.
  So the non-faithful, along with the faithful, could still be afflicted, technically, however I’m fairly confident mental health treatment may be better for them over “driving out the demon” so to speak. Though some denominations would call it heresy for me to say that. Lmao.
  As for Tucker… I’m skeptical he cares for the Word. He certainly doesn’t act as though he does, in my view.
  
  I'm actually surprised I haven't been hit with a "you're already going to hell, why would the demons possess you?" to be honest.
- As I understand it, Carlson wasn't much of a man of faith before this either.
  
  I guarantee he still isn't
- do the demons have large knots?
  
  Why do you think they're invited in?
- Colombian here - as you might know, most people here are catholic.
  A bit of story.
  My mother says her eldest brother was like the evil on earth. He raped her younger sisters, used to beat up all of them – his younger brother grew up with serious mental issues because of that, and now we are having issues trying to get him into an asylum because, again, third world problems - stole the house and land of their parents (which wasn't a lot, but left my mother and her sisters with nothing when their father died) and even treated violently my grandmother. I never got to know my grandparents because they died when my mother was young.
  So my mother says one night my grandmother was really ill and this person (I have never seen him, not even in pictures) arrived home and beat her up and went to sleep. Then allegedly "the spirits" ("las almas") came when he was asleep and beat him up so hard he screamed and woke everyone up - like they could see how "the spirits" lifted him across the room and hit him violently, but never could see any of those "spirits".
  A few weeks or months after that my grandmother died and all of my aunts had to get miserable jobs trying to survive and this bastard still showed up from time to time to steal the few bucks they could earn.
  Eventually all of them (except my uncle) got married and all of them but the elder sister never saw him ever again.
  Now I'm atheist and don't believe in this kind of stuff, but the saying is that "the souls" do that kind of thing to really awful people. So if Carson's incident is true (and if "the souls" exist and are able to do that), now you may have a possible explanation for that.
"I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs and mauled, physically mauled." ... "I have no idea what happened."
lol
- This is the level of critical thinking that conservative pundits are exercising.
- 4.. FOUR Dogs? Imagine the smell...
  
  I'm actually a bit jealous of his sleeping situation. I don't mind dogs being "dirty" and I'd prefer 4 dogs (and maybe a wife) to sleeping alone.
- He claims the dogs were sleeping but, who knows. 🤷‍♂️
  
  Knowing dogs, even if they were sleeping they'd be on their feet barking before he could fully get out of bed.
  Normal people - I bet my dog accidentally scratch me.
  Him- the devil sent his demons to scratch me!
People are saying it's the dogs, but given that it's Tucker Carlson I think it's far more likely that he's just flat out lying.
- If forced to wager, split money between affair and prostitute. Longshot: beaten up by old school influencers.
- I dunno. If anyone has the servants of darkness hanging out at their home, it's this guy.
Sounds like he assaulted someone and that news is about to come out. He is preempting that.
You're telling me this is a real story like in a real news source?
JFC
- The fun is this for me is the thought that a supernatural force attacked you in your sleep, you claim it to be a Christian/religious force, and yet at no point does he acknowledge/reflect that maybe his actions may cause scrutiny by his religious beliefs.
  Thought process?: "My God created everything, including deamons sent to attack me personally, clearly I am doings gods work"
  
  Yeah seriously! Why does it have to be a Christian supernatural force? It could just be Baba Yaga "reaching out" as it were, to a kindred spirit.
  Why couldn't it be the fae trying to pull him into their world? Or perhaps an evil yokai finally tracked him down?
  Maybe his original soul escaped the mirror dimension and was trying to claw its way back into his body!
Cheating on his wife for sure
- 100%
It's probably your own demons Fucker. They've had enough of your bullshit.
Jesus Buttfucking Christ these people are nuts.
I see he's taking a page from Alex Jones's bible.
Anyway, what are the chances that someone's going to come forward that Carlson assaulted them and they fought back? Just asking questions.
- Alex Jones’s bible
  I shudder to think what that thing is filled with.
  
  Leaded cocaine
  
  Boner pills
  
  Sea moss these days
If this is true, what did he do to deserve this. This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. So I guess the real question is, what did he do to deserve this.
This doesn't just happen to a good god fearing person. Why would this happen if he DIDN'T deserve this. Clearly he lost favor with the good lord and has opened himself up to the devil to be possessed by a demon.
- As someone who was raised in a very evangelical household: the (non)-answer is that it happened to him in order to tempt him or test him or some shit. If it happens to a non-god-fearing individual, it's deserved, otherwise it's God's plan all along. Because moving the goal posts is just way too easy.
  The real answer is Tucker Carlson is either actually insane or hardcore grifting, but I'm probably preaching to the choir here going down that rabbit hole lol.
  
  I figured my comment would be countered with “justification” as to why. Not you but your explanation and yea preaching my friend.
- No you see he is like Job in the Bible!!! He's so righteous God is testing him with demons!!!!
  -his fans probably
  
  Job has to be one of the more disgusting stories in the Bible... It was the one that I read/was taught about in church as a teen that first made me go "wait a second...".
  From the first time I heard that story, it never sat well with me, and not a single adult was ever able to give me a satisfactory explanation for why it was OK for god to straight up destroy this poor man's life (a man who was already super dedicated to this god), including literally killing his innocent family, over some petty bet with the actual devil.
  That really opened my eyes to what the OT god really was in that book, and I did not like what I saw.
  
  True. I know there will always be a justification and it would be a hard fight to change the minds of those who are being grifted.
But, man, you're never going to get any truth from us. We'll tell you anything you want to hear; we lie like hell. We'll tell you that, uh, Kojak always gets the killer, or that nobody ever gets cancer at Archie Bunker's house, and no matter how much trouble the hero is in, don't worry, just look at your watch; at the end of the hour he's going to win. We'll tell you any shit you want to hear. We deal in illusions, man! None of it is true! But you people sit there, day after day, night after night, all ages, colors, creeds... We're all you know. You're beginning to believe the illusions we're spinning here. You're beginning to think that the tube is reality, and that your own lives are unreal. You do whatever the tube tells you! You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even think like the tube! This is mass madness, you maniacs! In God's name, you people are the real thing! WE are the illusion! So turn off your television sets. Turn them off now. Turn them off right now. Turn them off and leave them off! Turn them off right in the middle of the sentence I'm speaking to you now! TURN THEM OFF... [collapses in a prophetic swoon as the audience erupts in thunderous applause]
Howard Beale, Network (1976)
- That movie was so very prescient. This -
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuBe93FMiJc
  You have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale, and I won't have it!! Is that clear?! You think you've merely stopped a business deal. That is not the case. The Arabs have taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tidal gravity! It is ecological balance!
  You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rins, rubles, pounds, and shekels.
  It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today! And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and YOU WILL ATONE!
  Am I getting through to you, Mr. Beale?
  You get up on your little twenty-one inch screen and howl about America and democracy. There is no America. There is no democracy. There is only IBM and ITT and AT&T and DuPont, Dow, Union Carbide, and Exxon. Those are the nations of the world today.
  What do you think the Russians talk about in their councils of state -- Karl Marx? They get out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories, minimax solutions, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments, just like we do.
  We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business, Mr. Beale. It has been since man crawled out of the slime. And our children will live, Mr. Beale, to see that perfect world in which there's no war or famine, oppression or brutality -- one vast and ecumenical holding company, for whom all men will work to serve a common profit, in which all men will hold a share of stock, all necessities provided, all anxieties tranquilized, all boredom amused.
  And I have chosen you, Mr. Beale, to preach this evangel.
- You(are the)Tube
He’s such a cunt. Fuck that guy.
Ah shit that's unfortunate. Better luck next time, demon.
I bet he tried to fuck one of those dogs and this is his excuse. "Oh no honey I didn't try to fuck the dog again...it was...democr...no wait...demons...yeah it was a demon gang bang and I beat them off."
"I swear, babe! I didn't cheat! It was a demon!"
Too bad it didn't kill him
sleep paralysis combined with he sleeps with dogs and they have nails. next.
- I'm worried that y'all don't know what lying is.
  
  he's just enough of a thumb that he legit might not know what dreams are tho
- Sleep paralysis was likely what people would later claim to each other was a nighttime demon encounter back in the 1750s So it's accurate to Tucker and the GOP who just want to burn witches
He should keep that between him and his woman. He doesn't need to lie to us. 🤷‍♂️
- Or between him and his dogs
I can't believe this isn't an onion article.
Weirdo. Through and through.
tl;dr: Comrade Carlson doesn't think he's getting enough attention lately.
The idea that a demon (or even better, Satan himself) would waste their time scratching random people or possessing them just to make them float over their bed or vomit pea soup has always been amusing to me. That's a super weak "ultimate evil" your religion has, Christians.
- If they really wanted to be scary they would amass 99.9% of the worlds wealth amongst 1% of the population and horde it all while killing the planet and bribing politicians in a vein attempt at being happier.
Dude that's called domestic abuse, and you probably deserved it.
- Rare domestic abuse win!
  
  Maybe, but my first thought was defensive wounds
Or maybe he forgot to take off his Freddy Kruger hallowe'en costume before jerking off to gay porn.
I bet this was said to cover for crimes he may have committed as christisn judges will definitely see it as a legit defense. Or he is fucking stupid.
- ¿Porque no los dos?
"You don't belong here Tucker, you have to come back home"
That's called a dream, guy.
It is what it is.
Lol
Carlson trying to scapegoat Lucifer after his underaged boyfriend got a little carried away.
- A loan out of one of Lindsey Graham’s ladybugs 🐞 I bet
do not declaw those dogs
Oh is this it, are we inches from rock bottom? Losing it and or lying more desperately for attention?
Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed he was “physically mauled” by a demon in his sleep, leaving claw marks on his body, which he says are still visible.
next time he shouldn't use teeth and make sure you cup the balls, Mr. Carlson.
Weird.
Genuine demonic encounter or Ambien, plus or minus alcohol, and pissing off the cat? Just asking questions, Tucker!
- Well, he did say he was sleeping in bed with his four dogs so I can think of at least four different places he could have got the claw marks.
Bro is taking too much Ketamine
So weird.
Maybe he should take up that urge to read the Bible. And pay attention to what he’s reading. Maybe start with the gospel of Mark, and not Genesis.
"Wow, that's terrifying, do you have photos?"
". . ."
I'm pretty sure demons have better taste than to want to deal with TC.
sleep paralysis episode and then kicked by a dog in its sleep? Or just lying to appeal to his audience?
- Yes! (inclusive or)
He should repent.
I can't believe I almost ate a non-existent onion.
Where was BLM and "antifa" at the time?
A new religion is born.
Tucker Carlson fights his demons. I would give this show a chance even though I really hate the guy. If he does a whole Spike from Buffy arc... It could work. [Sarcasm]
I feel like, if demons were real, they'd be perfectly happy with Tucker.
Demons LOVE the Bible so this makes PERFECT Sense!
I fucking hope so
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